All Too Easy
by Lightning Strikes Twice
Summary: It's back! The adventures of the Warden, Leliana, Morrigan, Alistair and the rest of the party continues. LadyCousland and Leliana F/F. Chapter 40: Battling the Archdemon
1. Chapter 1

**The following is an interpretation of the characters Leliana, Morrigan and my Female Cousland (Detra) in _my_ eyes. She is the Morrigan from the game but she will not follow every single guideline set forth for her by the developers, same goes for the Cousland character and Leliana. This is, after all, _my_ story. I take the mold that Bioware/Gaider has written and take each item/situation/person in the direction that I want to so it won't be exactly the same.**

**You will also recognize a ton of stuff from the game so I'm not losing the heart of the story, just taking turns that make sense to me and make the story the one I want to tell.**

**The other team members are in the story a lot as well but it will mostly focus on the three women above. But there is plenty of action- do not fear!  
**

**Also, my stories are dialogue driven so expect tons of chatter.**

**Feel free to review if it moves you. If not, review anyways- it doesn't take that much of your time and it makes somebody happy in the process, if you're into that sort of thing. **

**I hope you enjoy the journey!**

* * *

"Look out! Darkspawn ahead!"

We had been on our way back to camp from Redcliffe Castle, having finally quelled the demon within Arl Eamon's son when suddenly Darkspawn surrounded us.

_We were so close to camp... the Darkspawn must have planned an ambush!_

_Let the others at the camp be all right!_

Weapons were unsheathed by everyone in the party and Wynne already had Arcane Bolts flying through the air towards their targets while Leliana screamed at us above the din.

"Stand fast! There is a fire trap ahead!"

Leliana dashed ahead of us and we followed slowly as we saw where the trap was located and she disarmed it.

"Go! I've got it!"

Morrigan took her Aodh axe from her back as well as her shield and smiled.

"'Tis good we ran into them, I was beginning to grow weary of the quiet."

Morrigan let out a war cry I had never heard from her before and ran towards the nearest Genlock and lit into him, the ax biting a gaping wound across his neck.

Leliana let her arrows fly as I raced towards an incoming Hurlock and took him down quickly, heading for the next one and the next one after that. They seemed to be never ending.

It seemed as if dozens of Darkspawn were emerging onto the field from the shadows and I did not think we would be able to take on all of them, just the three of us, but I would die trying if fate called for it. We had lived through worse than this.

I continued cutting down every Darkspawn that came at me and soon I was surrounded by bodies, yet they kept on coming.

I spotted an Emissary down the field and he was just recovering from Morrigan's Stonefist spell and I knew I needed to take him down immediately. Magic on the field is your worst enemy unless it is your own.

The Emissary noticed me soon after and turned his staff on me as I charged at him and I dodged a couple of attacks but he was aiming wide. Morrigan must have placed a Misdirection Hex on him as he was not aiming properly and I planned to take full advantage of that.

With a bellow, I headed towards him and actually dodged into one of his attacks; the Hex had worked against me. It was a cold spell and I froze in place, the very action of trying to move any part of my body becoming painful. My sword slipped from my grasp from the ice that enveloped me and I willed the spell to end quickly so I could finish this.

I stood helpless as the Emissary laughed and then concentrated his fire down the field at the others and I felt a sudden warm sensation at my back and heard more laughing from that direction as well.

The short term spell ended and the Emissary turned on me once more as he saw me begin moving again but did not get another chance to attack as he exploded into a volcano of blood before me.

I felt a sharp stab in my back and spun around to find a Genlock rogue ready to stab me yet again. I rolled out of the way and then was scrambling to find my dropped sword when an arrow struck him in the neck and he fell at my feet, dead.

Another Darkspawn was headed in my direction and I finally had my sword in hand and turned to face him just as Leliana's second arrow struck him right in the head. He had been running so fast that his body slid towards me in a cloud of dirt as the arrow took his life.

_By the Gods, that woman can fire an arrow._

I saw and heard Sten and Alistair coming at us from the woods followed by the rest of the campsite crew and I was relieved to see they were unharmed. They looked confused as they hurried towards us and pain wracked my body, causing me to double over and then fall to my knees.

Leliana had made her way across the field and was at my side now, talking to me but the pain I felt made her words sound jumbled.

"I need to remove this dagger. Steel yourself, Detra."

Warmth spread across my back as well as pain and I grunted loudly.

Evidently the rogue who had attacked me just minutes ago had stuck and left his dagger in my back along with having inflicted other wounds. The cold spell had blocked most of the pain as I had not felt this before.

"Wynne, I need you!"

Leliana was barking orders to everyone around her and I fell forward, the pain increasing every minute. My adrenaline had slowed and now I was beginning to feel the end results of the skirmish and I did not like it one bit.

Wynne was suddenly in view and I barely caught her apology and the fact that her mana had been depleted on the field, there was nothing she could do. So then Leliana yelled for Morrigan and the witch chided her for yelling when she had been right behind her.

"I am right here. Why are you yelling like a fool?"

Morrigan was then kneeling next to me and I saw the glow of magic being performed and it felt odd for a moment, better the next, but still there was much pain when she finished.

"Detra, we are taking you back to camp. Sten! We must move lest more Darkspawn arrive!"

I felt woozy now and heard the clanking of armor all around me then felt myself being lifted off the ground. We were moving now and I looked up into Sten's face as he carried me. His eyes were set ahead of us and he never looked at me.

_Why does he always look so angry?_

_There must be something that makes him..._


	2. Chapter 2

I awoke to the sound of Leliana and Morrigan speaking to each other as the tone of their voices rose in pitch.

"And so the Bard must interfere and prove her usefulness in some way, though just how useful remains to be seen. And then they will wonder why the Grey Warden has died of infection."

"You are dramatic today, Morrigan. Has something gotten into your unmentionables again? Did Mabs leave you another present?"

Morrigan feigned a laugh and stung back.

"I believe you have the reputation for getting into all unmentionables here, do you not?"

I looked at both of them and realized I was in my tent and I must have made some noise because they both looked at me.

"Now you have gone and woken her up- perfect, Leliana. Why don't you rub some salt into her wounds as well?"

The bickering between the two women continued as my eyes closed again before I passed out.

* * *

My eyes opened to the sight of Morrigan kneeling next to me, readying bandages and then leaning over me.

"Ah, you are awake finally. I thought you would snore the entire time I was in here."

"Morr..."

My throat was dry and my voice cracked and I had to cough for a bit.

Morrigan brought a skin of liquid from next to her and held it to my lips, giving me some water to wet my throat after I was able to stop coughing.

I nodded my thanks and she nodded back.

"Morrigan, how is... everyone?"

"If you are asking if anyone perished during the fight, no, they did not. But you nearly did, allowing yourself to be skewered by those beasts. I thought you were supposed to be good with your sword? Seems more likely that you would just fall on it."

I groaned and knew things were back to normal as Morrigan berated me.

"It is good to see you again as well, Morrigan."

Morrigan chortled and leaned over me to apply the bandage to the wound on my stomach and I winced at the contact.

"I have closed your wounds from the outside as best as could be done but the blade was twisted and there is much internal damage. The only thing that you can do now is rest and continue healing, though there is still a chance you will die."

Morrigan began putting the medical supplies away and I touched her arm.

"Thank you."

Morrigan looked at me for a moment.

"'Twas nothing, really. I am no healer, you are simply lucky that I do know the one healing spell. The rest of them are destructive and so very delicious."

I shook my head and giggled as I caught the glint present in Morrigan's eyes, always there whenever she talked of magic.

"I meant for what you did back in Redcliffe. I want to thank you before it is forgotten with all else we have to do. You saved Connor's life by entering the Fade by yourself when you did not have to."

"'Twas because you ordered me to do so."

"That is not true, Morrigan. You are not a slave, you are here by your own free will and you chose to fight for Connor's life along with the rest of us. Be proud of yourself because I am."

Morrigan just watched me but offered no response so I was not sure what else to say.

"I just wanted you to know that I appreciate what you did for him and that he also wanted to thank you."

"Did he now? Why did I not see him before we left the castle?"

"I saw him in his room only briefly; he was tuckered out by the whole ordeal and was asleep before I could finish speaking with him. But he did ask me to thank you and... where is my pack?"

Morrigan looked around and found it near my feet but did not move it towards me.

"Here."

I attempted to bend down to retrieve it but pain shot through my body and I winced.

Morrigan clucked her tongue and got it for me, dropping it onto my lap unceremoniously.

"Thank you."

Morrigan finished packing the supplies away and stood up, feeling that she was done here but I stopped her.

"Wait a moment. Connor wanted you to have this."

I dug around in my pack and found what I was looking for, pressing a golden horse figurine into Morrigan's palm.

Morrigan looked at the figure and did not say anything for a moment but then snapped back to her usual self.

"Whatever will I do with a child's toy? I have no need for such things."

"I thought not, but I kept my promise to deliver it to 'the pretty lady in the black robes'."

I smiled as Morrigan laughed at Connor's description and then appreciated it.

"Well, the boy has eyes, does he not?"

I nodded, tossing my pack back down towards my feet.

"Truly, for one so young, he already has great taste."

Morrigan's guttural laugh filled the tent as she headed towards the exit.

I would not keep Morrigan any longer. I knew that she grew anxious around people if with them too long. It made me wonder why she had gotten bandage duty in the first place.

"And thank you for saving my life."

I lay back down and Morrigan turned back to me, smirking.

"You are... welcome. Do try to _avoid_ the blades next time, hm?"

And with that last jab, Morrigan left my tent, leaving me alone in my thoughts and to sleep once again.

* * *

Morrigan walked back to her fire, holding the toy horse in her hand but did not look at it until back in the safety of her own camp.

_The boy had been an idiot for opening the veil but he was young and he had only bargained with the demon in exchange for his father's life._

Morrigan tried to imagine what it would feel like to care about someone so deeply that you would offer your own life to extend theirs.

She could not and it made her angry.

She could not feel much of anything.

She hated Flemeth more at this moment now than any other in her life.

_Now the Circle would have at the boy and he would grow to be yet another caged animal as all mages at the tower were._

_Had I truly saved him?_

She sat down on her bedroll, alone at last, and opened her fingers clutched tightly around the figure and she looked at it.

It was a golden metal figurine of a horse and quite heavy for its size. The horse wore no saddle, just a bridle and it stood proudly, as if waiting for its master to arrive and together they would ride off to do glorious things together.

Morrigan had seen horses like these in Lothering as people had traveled through and she closed her eyes and pictured the horse in front of her, majestic and white, and she spoke soothing words to it.

She had always wanted a horse of her own; she thought they were beautiful creatures and they had always fascinated her as they seemed in service to their masters yet they also retained their sense of freedom at the same time, just as she had felt with Flemeth all those years in the Wilds.

_Mother never owned me but she certainly tried controlling who I became._

_She never did succeed._

Once, while she was prowling the woods as a wolf, Morrigan had watched some travelers on the road as their horse was giving them trouble and the man had struck the horse in anger, trying to control it and in turn the horse had trampled him underfoot, killing him.

_And that is exactly what he had deserved._

_You cannot control that which does not belong to you. _

_Eventually, everything turns on you, so never let it in._

_This is what I know to be true._

Morrigan settled down into her bedroll, still holding the figurine and was fast asleep as her head hit the pillow.


	3. Chapter 3

My eyes opened to the sound of rustling beside me and I found Leliana sitting beside me, staring down at me.

I blinked my eyes for a few seconds and took a deep breath, stopping halfway due to the sensations in my midsection.

"How are you feeling?"

My eyes adjusted to the small lamp light that was beside us and I yawned, feeling exhausted even though I had just woken.

"How long have I been out? Is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine. You have been in here for the last three days."

"_What_? Three days? Are you..."

I clumsily sat up, or rather tried to, and then slumped back down, sighing.

"Just lay still, Detra, you are still not fully healed. I do not want you to tear your wounds open."

My wounds had abated into mere burning sensations with not as much pain but I certainly did not want to reopen them as I remembered the pain I had experienced on the field just days ago.

Leliana put her hand on my forehead for a moment and concluded that I did not have a temperature so that was a welcome relief.

"I want to check your bandages now. Hopefully you have stopped bleeding."

I closed my eyes and my head rolled around my pillow as Leliana pulled the blanket back to inspect the damage. I looked down as well and found I had two stab wounds on the right side of my stomach and there must be one on my right shoulder too as I remember I had felt massive pain there as well. Thankfully, now it was just a dull ache.

Leliana pulled the bandages away from one wound at a time and there was little to no blood on any of them according to her.

"I think we can remove the bandages that way the air can get to your skin and help the healing."

I saw small bumps in my flesh where it had been magically knit together at the entrance site and I ran my fingers over them, sighing.

"Just more scars to add to my collection, I suppose."

Leliana did not answer as she was leaning me up a bit to check my shoulder injury.

"This one is no longer bleeding either. These bandages can all come off."

Out of nowhere, I felt myself become aware of how little clothing I was wearing, clad only in my undergarments under my blanket. Now I understood why it had only been the females tending to me.

"I...so this is why it has only been you and Morrigan in here with me."

I gestured to my half-naked state, trying not to giggle too loudly.

"Please, just take care that Zevran does not see me like this, I could not bear the fallout from that encounter. Or even Alistair for that matter, he may not be able to respect me in the morning after seeing this. Oh and the blushing would never stop."

Leliana laughed.

"Are you afraid they will call you beautiful and swoon over you? Perhaps they do that already."

I laughed this time.

"I am afraid of what they might ask for because they have not seen a woman in a half dressed state in God knows how long."

"But you are not just 'any woman', Detra- you are our leader. Men are drawn to, yet also confused by, women in power but it does not stop them from wanting them."

Leliana spoke as if from experience and I wanted to hear more.

"You must have encountered dozens, if not more, of men like that in your work and travels."

"Yes, but the men that I had to deal with were almost effortless, just needing a friendly ear to listen and to feel as though they were loved. The women, however, I found to be greatly challenging."

My ears perked up.

"The women?"

Leliana smiled at me.

"Surely you did not think my skills were limited to only one gender? My marks were sometimes female, though a very small portion. The women proved more unwilling to simply give in to their desires and they were very much a test for my skills."

"So you would...seduce women as well?"

Leliana was bold with her answer, meeting my gaze.

"I would. Unlike the encounters with the men, the women were usually not marked for death, but simply for information. I always did what the job required and I did it well."

I could not think of anything else to say at that point and was stuck with images flashing through my head of Leliana seducing another female.

_Stop that right now._

"But that is all behind me now- I am no longer a part of that life. Now I travel with you and we will defeat the Darkspawn and anything else that stands in our way."

Leliana smiled cheerfully and I could not help but smile back.

"Anyhow, I brought you some lamb stew that Alistair made. You must be hungry as it has been two days since you've last eaten."

I had wondered what the smell was that lingered in the tent since I had awoken and truth be told my stomach did grumble when Leliana mentioned the stew.

The thought of sitting up and feeling the burning again, however, diminished my appetite and I told Leliana that.

"Just... wait. Here."

Leliana propped another pillow under my head and was proceeding to feed the stew to me.

"Wait, I..."

I protested and Leliana just knocked my hand away.

"Just relax, Detra. Have you not had anyone feed you before?"

"Not since I was about say, two years old."

Leliana laughed and spooned a good size portion into my mouth, just as my mother had always done to get me to quiet down.

Chewing and thinking, I looked at Leliana as she smiled and readied another spoonful for me and this felt very strange.

_I am supposed to be leader and I am being fed as if an infant?_

_No, no- this is all too strange._

As the spoon neared my mouth again I faked having an upset stomach to get Leliana to stop feeding me versus arguing with her again.

"Very well, but let me know if you would like some later. I will keep some wrapped for you, away from Alistair."

"Thank you."

I settled back down into my pillow and turned slightly on my side, wanting these strange feelings and thoughts I was having to leave me.

I felt Leliana touch my back as she got up to leave.

"Get some rest. I will check on you later."


	4. Chapter 4

My sleep through the past two weeks had been pitiful at best and I suppose I was making up for it now, having slept through almost three whole days. Nightmares of Darkspawn monstrosities had haunted me more and more as time went on as Alistair had warned and I fought for a way to control my dreams to no avail.

'It will be this way for a while,' Alistair had said, 'but it will end soon.'

I had awoken again and was now wide awake and alone, the light from the fire outside in camp casting strange shadows on the walls of my tent.

I laughed as I found my undergarments strewn about my bedroll. I had no memory of actually removing them but there they were, plain as day, all around me.

I had a habit of removing my clothing while sleeping and it had been a constant source of embarrassment for those who did not know me and did not knock or announce themselves first before entering my quarters.

I did not hear any noise from outside and since it was dark, I had to assume everyone but those on watch were asleep. I longed to get up and stretch my legs so I decided to try and sit up and see how I felt.

It was not that bad, actually, just some slight pinching in my stomach. But I knew there was nothing I could do at this time of night, short of going on watch myself. Getting dressed seemed like such a chore to me and I thought about joining those on watch but then laziness took back over and I found my pillow again.

But I could sleep no longer. I felt my body would burst with the energy that was within it. I had gotten _too _much sleep while recovering and now I was paying the price by staring once again, as I had every night before this, at the ceiling of my tent.

Thinking of paying the price, my thoughts lingered back to all that had happened to us within the last month or so and my mind exploded with thoughts of the battles, the missions, the betrayals, and the chaos that had surrounded us with every step that we had taken.

_How will we ever defeat an entire army of Darkspawn when we cannot unite as an army across Ferelden ourselves?_

Loghain's treachery in Ostagar and his continued traitorous behavior weighed heavy on my mind as our losses replayed over and over in my head.

I was in a way relieved that Alistair and I were the only remaining Wardens in Ferelden because Loghain was hunting down any and all who opposed him and we could not lose any more brethren to senseless means. At least together we knew what was happening and who to expect betrayal from.

For the most part.

Noises outside of my tent alerted me and my body tensed, then I remembered my naked state.

_Please do not let me have to defend myself now._

"Detra?"

I let my breath out as I realized it was only Leliana. She must be checking up on me again.

"Yes, I am here."

I arranged the blanket over me so that she could not tell anything was missing and told her to enter. She did not have any bandages to check so there would be no reason to move the blanket and so my secret was safe.

Leliana ducked inside and stood before me, already starting that nervous fiddling with her hands and I had to admit that I did find it quite endearing.

"Hey...how are you feeling?"

"Quite well, actually. Starting to get quite restless though, I believe I've slept too much. "

"I am glad you are better, Detra. I have been worried about you."

Leliana looked a bit upset, as if something had happened.

"What's wrong, Leliana? Are you all right?"

"Could... could I ask you a favor?"

I nodded, even though I was almost sure Leliana could not see me too clearly in the dark of my tent though I could see her because of the camp's fire light.

"Of course you can."

Leliana looked down at her hands and back up as she spoke.

"It is just that I cannot sleep. My tent is freezing, Shmooples cannot seem to get comfortable and keeps his squeaking up and I just cannot stand to stay in there tonight."

"Do you need more blankets? I have some in the corner over there that you can..."

"Actually, I was hoping that I might spend the night in your tent if you would allow it. It's doubtful that another blanket will dispel the cold and nothing short of a spell would silence my dear little Shmooples...but perhaps our combined body heat would dismiss the chill in the air and allow us both to rest since it seems neither of us can."

I was now thankful that it was dark enough and that Leliana could not see my facial expression for it was one of shock. The suggestion she had come up with had been fine, but the way she had stated it was...a bit...almost seductive.

_Just a bit from her bard training I am sure._

_This must be how she always got what she wanted during her missions._

_I would most likely fall for her charms had I met her, she was very good._

I swallowed first before replying.

"That is fine, Leliana. I've plenty of room here."

Then I remembered my lack of clothing situation.

_I cannot help the fact that I wear armor all day but would like to feel free while I can and am alone in my tent. Old habits die hard._

_Leliana would never know. She was here for the warmth and to sleep, nothing more._

"Thank you so much, Detra. I promise not to disturb you at all."

Leliana moved quickly towards my bedroll and tucked under the blanket with me and appeared not to even notice my lack of clothing.

I felt her against me suddenly and the chill that permeated her clothing transferred to me for a moment and I flinched.

"Maker, it is _so warm_ under here. I think this is three days worth of heat."

Leliana purred as she made herself comfortable and I laughed, pulling the blanket around us both.

"So what about Shmooples then? Will he be all right by himself?"

Leliana nestled deeper into the blanket.

"Shmooples will be fine. Now he can pace all he wants and it won't disturb me. Sometimes he gets like this, I am not sure why."

"As long as he is all right."

I turned onto my side, getting comfortable.

"By the way, we let you sleep all of the day away today because we knew that you needed it. I hope you are feeling up to waking with us tomorrow, do not forget it is Alistair's day to finally meet his sister."

"Ah, yes, how could I forget? He has been talking of this non-stop for the past few days. I am curious to see what his sister will be like."

"We shall see in a few hours. I hope she is everything he has dreamed of."

"Either that, or she may be just as crazy as he is."

We laughed a bit, knowing Alistair would have appreciated the humor as well.

"By the way, how are your wounds, Detra?"

"They are much better, just a bit uncomfortable now. If it was not for you and your quick thinking, I might not be here now. You and Morrigan saved my life."

"I am just glad my arrows got there in time. I cannot think about anything happening to you, it is too awful."

I felt myself smile and then a feeling of guilt washed over me.

"Well, there is no need because I am not going anywhere. I'm not that easy to get rid of."

There was a slight pause after I finished, indicating the end of our conversation.

"Goodnight, Leliana."

"Goodnight, Detra... and thank you again."

Leliana settled down on her side and I returned to my earlier thoughts and position.

It was not long before my eyes grew heavy and I knew that Leliana had been correct after all as we both got some rest.


	5. Chapter 5

_Darkspawn- everywhere!_

_Throngs of them, surging forward towards us!_

_I see the fires from the depths of Hell surrounding the Darkspawn as they screech and ready their weapons to dismember and kill each and every one of us._

_I back up and suddenly the sky is afire with purple and grey and I see it... I see the Archdemon._

_It glides above the Darkspawn, calling them to arms and leading them forward towards me and towards the surface...towards the defeat and decimation of all who walk the surface._

_It sees me and swoops in towards me and I open my mouth, a shriek escaping my throat._

_The ground shakes and trembles below me and I am thrown to my back as the Archdemon descends upon me, its pearl white eyes set upon me..._

"Detra? _Detra_!"

Everything is still shaking and the Archdemon is...

Gone.

_Where am I?_

My eyes opened and scanned the inside of my tent, my chest heaving.

"Detra... you are safe. You were dreaming."

I find Leliana above me, her hand upon my face, attempting to wake me.

I still see the images fresh in my mind and I squeezed my eyes shut, still breathing deeply.

"What did you see, Detra?"

"I saw... Darkspawn... thousands upon thousands! And the Archdemon... _it's coming_! This _is_ a true Blight!"

My breathing sped up again as the images continued to burn into my brain and Leliana's hand pressed against my cheek.

"Do not worry, we shall beat them. All the forces we are gathering..."

I interrupted Leliana with a burst of words filled with emotion.

"It is not enough! I am not ready! _We _are not ready! We must..."

"Shhhh, be still, Detra. Relax."

I covered my eyes with my hand and I felt myself tear up. The dream had opened up a part of me that I kept hidden away.

_By the gods, I cannot be seen as weak._

_The visions or dreams or whatever they were... had been so **real.**_

_I must pull myself together lest I be seen as a coward._

Leliana pulled my hand away from my eyes and may have seen my tears but I closed my eyes, turning away from her.

"Do not look at me. I..."

I was grateful for the low light within the tent as I hid from Leliana, feeling like a fool.

"Do not be ashamed. I would be terrified if I were in your position, Detra."

I sighed, heavily.

"I cannot afford to be terrified."

"You are human, are you not? A superior leader cannot succeed without fear."

I looked at Leliana, skeptical.

"How can I possibly lead if I am afraid? No troops I have ever encountered would respect a leader who shows weakness and I cannot blame them."

"It is fear that prompts you to make the wiser decisions because you know exactly what it is that we stand against and what is at stake so you will not take any unnecessary risks. Fear makes you an exceptional leader, whether you think it is true or not."

I watched her and pondered what she had said.

_Was there any truth to that?_

_I had always been taught never to show fear in any form, least of all when troops were present. Anything that could make you vulnerable was best left behind._

But I could do nothing about this situation now but collect myself and I did what I could.

"Please do not mention this to anyone else, Leliana. I just..."

I shook my head, hoping she understood what secrecy would mean to me.

"I will not. This is only between you and me."

Taking some deep breaths, I trusted Leliana to keep this between just the two of us and I was able to regain some composure. Leliana remained where she was, her hand now near my shoulder. She was still watching me and I felt her thumb stroking my neck.

It was soothing me and my eyes closed for a moment and then I remembered exactly what was going on.

_Especially my present lack of clothing._

Thankfully the blanket was still on me but... _Now so was Leliana_.

She was still clothed of course, but it was enough to make me blush.

My skin warmed as I not only thought about but felt Leliana's body against mine and I looked back into her eyes where I saw what I can only describe as a hunger.

The honesty of her look frightened me a bit and I wanted to get away.

"I am better now thank you, Leliana. We should..."

Leliana did not move away as I had expected her to.

"We should what? Ignore this moment that we are having?"

A chill found its way through my body and I was not sure how to feel about it.

I looked up at Leliana and... those eyes again... and her hand on me. It was as if she was looking inside me and it scared the sodding hell out of me.

_I am a Grey Warden, damn it._

_Pull it together._

"I am not sure what you mean, Le..."

Leliana spoke over me with an angry tone to her voice.

"Oh, do not bother to tell me that you do not know what I speak of, Detra. If it would please you that I leave, all you've to do is simply ask me to do so."

I shook my head immediately, not wanting her to be angry with me.

"Oh no, no! I don't want you to leave, I just..."

My words trailed off as I saw a victorious smile spread across Leliana's lips as she watched me stumble upon my words.

_Oh my, what a lovely trap the bard had fixed for me._

_And how quickly I had set it off._

I had to laugh as Leliana's smile grew wider by the second.

"You must have been an amazing bard. Your skills are paramount."

Leliana giggled as she knew I was caught in her web and now a devilish smile crossed her lips.

"_You have no idea_..."

I felt my eyebrows rise and Leliana smiled as she moved in on me, pressing her lips into mine for a few seconds before I pulled away slightly, surprised and fearful of what I had just felt.

"...No, I cannot. Leliana, the Darkspawn..."

"Will all be there in the morning, I assure you of that."

I shook my head, still in disagreement.

"... I am..."

Leliana placed her finger across my lips, halting my protests.

"Just kiss me, Detra, would you?"

It was I who moved in to kiss Leliana after just seconds and we continued to do so, for a time that I did not measure. My hands slid up Leliana's arms and I felt her shudder at my touch and I smiled.

"Just lie back, Detra. Let me take care of you. I won't have you getting hurt."

Leliana moved away and quickly pulled her top off over her head, giving me quite the view and then she pulled the blanket back to move on top of me I would assume. She stopped for a moment and her eyebrows rose as she peered under the blanket.

"_Well..._I had _thought_ you naked under there but... to see it is actually so..._mmm_..."

Leliana smiled and slid on top of me, assaulting my lips again with renewed vigor. Her warm, naked skin pressing against me made me gasp into her mouth and Leliana returned the sentiment with a groan. My arms curved around her back and I could feel my heart pounding in my ears.

Leliana's hands and body covered me and I gave myself to her, willingly, my head swimming.

We did not sleep for the remainder of the night, wrapped up in each other and all of our warmth under our blanket.


	6. Chapter 6

Noises from the rest of the camp woke me and I felt a warm arm draped around me, something I had been missing for some time now. I smiled as memories flooded back from just a few hours ago and I turned over to face Leliana.

She was awake as well and from the looks of it, had been for a while. Leliana had a smile waiting for me when my eyes set upon her and I returned the smile and spoke.

"Good morning."

"Good morning. Did you sleep well, love?"

'_Love'?_

I closed my eyes and sighed.

"I did indeed. I have not slept that soundly since...since I left my home."

"I can say the same thing, though my leaving home was years ago."

Leliana brushed my hair from my face and we just looked into each others eyes for a moment before Leliana kissed me. Hands were soon traveling below the blanket and only the sound of my name being called roused me from Leliana's grasp.

Alistair was outside of my tent, calling my name and asking if I was going to get up any time soon.

Leliana and I just looked at each other and giggled.

Well, surely they would see us both emerge from my tent and then tongues would be wagging though I hoped there were more important things to tend to than discussing the goings-on of who is in whose tent.

"It seems it is time for us to get up."

Leliana stole a few more kisses then agreed with me.

"But only because we are going to see Alistair's sister today. Oh! What if she invites us to stay for dinner? I should pick out something fancy to wear."

I smiled at the thought of Leliana already assuming that she was going to accompany us to Denerim.

I was not yet sure who would be going with us today but I was sure since Leliana wanted to go, she would get her way.

She had her methods of making things happen.

As I watched Leliana reach outside of the blanket to get her clothes, I was struck by this sudden need to remind her who was in charge.

A sly smile crept onto my lips and I slid on top of Leliana, taking her shirt from her hand and tossing it aside.

"Let us not forget who the Grey Warden is here, and I say when it is time to get dressed."

Leliana was taken aback by my force but I saw a gleam in her eyes as she answered.

"Oh, I am so sorry. I shall remember that from now on."

I pressed Leliana's wrists into the bedroll.

"Yes, you will."

Leliana's soft neck was calling my name and my lips answered as I covered her with kisses, hearing her moan softly into my ear. Her nipples hardened against me and as I made my way down her body, I was properly worshipful of everything Leliana had to offer me. I slowly eased her legs open with my own body and my lips moved further south and Leliana's moans grew louder. I giggled to myself thinking of how Leliana could definitely be heard across camp and tongues would _definitely_ be wagging without question now.

Leliana whispered to me, concerned.

"Be careful! Your wounds..."

I looked back up at her and shushed her with more kisses, though I found her consideration quite charming.

It was warm under the blanket and I would rather have removed it so I could see her, but I decided that would be too cold for Leliana.

I tested the waters with my hand and fingers and Leliana squirmed even more and I smiled. I liked having her wrapped around my little finger instead of the other way around.

After a few minutes of my teasing her, Leliana begged me to have my way with her and I finally gave in, wanting it just as much as she did.

My arms circled around Leliana's legs and my hands on her hips pulled her into my mouth and my tongue found its way to where it was now demanded.

Leliana suddenly pulled the blanket to the side and I saw her look down at me, a desperate look on her face, begging for more.

Seeing her reactions as I made love to her made my body blaze with lust and I gave Leliana all that I had, my hands wandering over where I could reach while my mouth stayed put.

My assault was unending and soon I was rewarded with continued cries from Leliana and I smiled as I felt her legs begin to tremble and I doubled my efforts.

This was one skill I knew I would not have to upgrade as I watched Leliana writhe in pure bliss as she gave me everything she had and was not the least bit concerned of her noise level.

I returned to her after a moment and her eyes remained closed as she sought to regain her breath and I could tell this had taken her by surprise. That just may have been what had made her vocal performance as impressive as it had been.

Leliana finally opened her eyes and wrapped her arms around me as she rolled on top of me, looking into my eyes.

"That was...was..."

I delighted in the fact that she could not even complete the sentence, clearly lost for words and the smile lit up my face, I could tell.

Leliana giggled but our smiles rapidly turned to kisses once again and now I was caught under Leliana's control.

Leliana's usual confident smile returned and this time she held _my_ wrists down, whispering in my ear.

"Now it's your turn."

I shook my head, arguing that we really must get going but Leliana's abrupt presence between my legs dictated otherwise and my words stopped.

I tried to uphold my statement again but I was lost in Leliana.

Now it was _my_ voice erupting at dangerous levels as Leliana showed me again just how well versed in women she really was.

Her lips on my neck and her body against mine were driving me over the edge and then I felt her fingers inside of me and all was suddenly fuzzy. I felt as if I were in a different realm as the most delicious sensations washed over my body and I hadn't a care in the world.

When it was over, I felt myself still wrapped in Leliana's arms and her eyes upon me. We lay there for several more minutes, trying to ignore the bustling that only grew louder outside of the tent.

"This dog is digging a hole under my tent!"

We suddenly heard Zevran's outburst and then some various clanging noises and my hound barking.

I sighed, knowing that the dream was over and that real life waited, as always.

Leliana knew it was so as well and we broke our embrace, kissing one last time.

We both dressed quickly and Leliana gave me an adorable look right before she left my tent, promising that she would be ready to go soon.

I finished dressing myself and then began putting my armor on, readying for the trip to Denerim to meet Alistair's sister. The task took only minutes and I grabbed my sword and headed outside.

The camp was in disarray and my hound was running circles around Zevran, barking gleefully. Mabs had indeed started digging a hole under Zevran's tent and I shook my head as I watched his tent sag pitifully into the clay.

A few pots and pans were strewn across the campsite and it was obvious they had been thrown at my hound to get him to cease whatever mischief he was into.

I clapped my hands and Mabs immediately changed course and darted over to me, dropping down on his hindquarters before me, tongue hanging out of the side of his open mouth, panting like the maniac he was acting like.

"What did I tell you about digging in the camp? Now you have gone and disturbed the entire camp with your shenanigans. What do you have to say for yourself?"

Mabs whimpered and hung his head but I knew he was not truly sorry. Just as he had relished annoying Nan at the Cousland manor, he had now found another unwilling playmate in Zevran.

"Do _not_ dig any more, Mabs. Do you understand me?"

Mabs barked and stood, running off again to continue his endless romp.

_Sometimes that hound can be more trouble than he is worth._

Had he not been a gift from my father and had I not protected him from the powers that be, namely, the owners of whatever he had destroyed through the years, I was not sure what would have happened to him. Mabs really enjoyed disobeying and I knew one day things may end up beyond repair.

He was mine though, you could tell by his temperament and it had been fate that had linked us together. I had known from the moment I saw him that we were one and that neither of us appreciated authority.

There would be no separating the two of us.

I sighed and walked to Zevran who was still assessing the damage to this tent.

"I am sorry about this, Zevran."

Zevran just stared at his lopsided tent and shook his head.

"Let me get the shovel and I will..."

"No, no. You must accompany Alistair to Denerim for his sister because he will not stop talking about it. I do not know how many times he has asked how his hair looks but I do not want to hear any more. I shall stay here and clean the campsite but perhaps you can persuade your hound to dig the dirt the _other_ way now?"

I laughed and assured Zevran that Mabs would not be coming near his things again.

"That _sounds_ good, but I am sure he has other plans than what he lets _you_ know."

_Seems Zevran already knows the hound too well._

"He better not. He knows when he has gone too far. He used to do this at home too, it is from being cooped up in one area and he gets restless"

"Well, as soon as we locate the Darkspawn, he can romp and play all he likes, no? Perhaps he can simply dig a very large hole and we can then push the Darkspawn back into the abyss."

I laughed again, grateful for Zevran's sense of humor despite the mess that lay before us.

"Let me know if you need help when we return though. I do feel bad that he did that to your area."

"No, no. Take the prince to meet his sister so that we can later hear about something else for a change. If you can still _walk_, that is."

I just stared at Zevran and his facial expression told me that he was referring to what noises must have emanated from my tent earlier and he raised his eyebrow.

"What a great way to start the day, even better than breakfast. Unless...you did indeed have something to eat?"

I shook my head, trying to avoid this conversation now and repeated my offer of help when we returned but Zevran waved off any further concern and returned to his sinking tent.

As I walked away, Zevran called after me.

"But I would like an invite next time if you would not mind, Detra. I am sure that Leliana can not fulfill _all_ of your needs and that would be where I could come in._"_

_He had gall, I will give him that._

Alistair was approaching me when I spun around to look for him and we almost collided as I was engrossed in mentally strangling Zevran and understanding that this morning would be something I would never live down.

"Oh, there you are. I was just coming to find you, Alistair."

"It's about time that you left your tent. I didn't think you would remember what today was."

"I remember perfectly what today is Alistair, we are to see your sister. Do you really think I would let slip so important a task just because I had been stabbed a few times?"

Alistair giggled a bit but was not concerned, knowing I was fine now.

"Well, you _were _a busy bee this morning. None of us thought you two would make it out of your tent in one piece."

I could see Alistair's cheeks redden a bit and he smiled.

_Again with this?_

"What? 'None of us'? Are you all... talking about...?"

"Oh come on, as if we have anything else to do! We will talk about anything that sounds like gossip or naughty fun and you, my dear, seem to provide us with both."

I had known they would most likely discuss what had been heard and then Leliana's exit this morning but to actually hear for sure that they were; it was slightly disturbing, considering all that lay ahead of us. Surely they found preparing for the Darkspawn more important?

"So it was, wasn't it? Lots of _naughty fun_?"

I sighed and shook my head at Alistair, not giving him the answer he thought he already had.

"Ha _ha_, I know that look."

Alistair laughed and went to collect his things for the trip. I watched as he carefully gathered his mother's locket into his pack; he was planning to give it to his sister when they met. I hoped the woman was everything he expected and that she appreciated this token of his love because I knew how much the locket meant to him, especially since the Arl had gone through all of the trouble of repairing it for him.

Hopefully other happenings would occupy their minds instead of idle gossip as time went on. I personally did not want anyone contemplating Leliana and I or our actions.

My thoughts returned to my selection for the team for today's outing and I would only bring three others, besides myself. Alistair of course would be one, but I was not sure who else would benefit from the trip.

I would also need strong warriors as well in case the ever present Darkspawn threat reared its head at us yet again during our travels. I do not know how many more weapons I could take to the midsection and I truly did not want to find out.

I surveyed the camp for those who appeared interested in going and saw Leliana emerge from her tent, armored and ready to go, a smile on her face as she bounded over to me.

Alistair gave me a funny look and raised his eyebrow as he returned, pack on his back.

"Well, she _is_ very spry for a Chantry girl."

I elbowed him and shook my head, embarrassed now that the fun was over.

So without a doubt Leliana was going now. There was no way I was going to talk her out of going and there really was no reason to do so.

That left one space to fill.

I wondered if Morrigan would want to go. It could not hurt to have her protection on the short but surely dangerous trip to Denerim and we had not talked since she had changed my bandages two days earlier.

One look at her area in camp and I saw she was not even there to ask. The only other two who might be interested in going would be Oghren or Wynne.

Oghren was in front of his tent with an enormous mug of ale, laughing to himself and I did not think a trip to Denerim would entice him to leave the spot he was in right now.

Wynne solved my dilemma by approaching us from behind and asking if she could come along as there were some things she needed from the Market District.

_Problem solved_.

"Do I look all right, Detra? Is my hair okay?"

I smiled and almost laughed as I remembered Zevran's earlier words. Alistair was nervous to meet his sister after all these years.

"She will love you, Alistair. Who could resist your bastardly charms?"

Alistair laughed at my sense of humor that rivaled his and we as a group made our way towards the trail that would lead us to Denerim.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Get ready for a double size chapter!**_

_**And this had to be done. Seriously. **_

_**Alistair finally gets to meet his sister.**_

* * *

"The market is bustling today."

Wynne observed all the people scattered around the Market, looking harried and moving quickly, their arms full of supplies.

Leliana responded to Wynne, trying to explain the discord that lay before us.

"People are scared. Many seem to be leaving the city and I for one do not blame them. This is most likely where the Darkspawn will strike."

Alistair chimed in.

"I don't think they'd bother with any other city considering the population of Denerim. But let's hope they don't get here before we have the surprise party ready and waiting for them."

We all walked towards the address that Alistair had written on the small piece of vellum in his hand and I could see him fidgeting already, fingers running through his hair.

Alistair stopped and turned to me.

"Um, could we...not do this? I'm sure Goldanna has better things to do than..."

I took Alistair's arm.

"Listen, you crazy person. You have been looking forward to meeting her for over a week now. You are going to meet your sister and we are going to come with you if you need us, all right? And yes- you look fine, Alistair."

Alistair giggled nervously and his fingers went through his hair again.

"But... what if she doesn't want to see me? What if she's just some deranged woman who I think is my sister? What then? We may have to slay her and I can't do that!"

I put my hand on Alistair's shoulder.

"Well, then my friend, if she truly is crazy than there will be no question that you two are related."

Alistair suddenly burst out laughing and we heard giggling from Wynne and Leliana behind us.

"You need to calm yourself, Alistair. She is just a woman who is your sister, not some marsh demon that will consume your soul...or, _what if she is_?"

Alistair's eyes bugged out and I laughed loud enough to cause myself pain at the still tender stab sites on my body but it was worth it for Alistair's expression.

"Why you..."

Alistair shook his fist at me then laughed with me, grateful for the distraction from his indecisiveness.

We got control of ourselves and I took Alistair's hand, dragging him with me towards his sister's residence.

"Let us go and meet your sister now, I will come with you if you want me there."

"Yes, I do in fact. You must stay with me in case she... tries to _get me."_

Wynne let us know that she would meet us at the corner of the market after she had picked up the herbs and things that she needed. Since Leliana had not been invited to go with us, she just went along with Wynne, both of them waving goodbye to us as we walked our separate ways.

Alistair had the address in his hand and kept looking at the vellum and then at the houses and then back at the vellum again as we walked.

"Are we going the right way?"

Alistair nodded, still repeating the same actions then he stopped short in front of the house before us.

"According to this information, this is it. This is Goldanna's house."

It was smaller than the houses that surrounded it but it looked homey enough. There was no way to tell the condition of the inside though.

"Well, you want to knock or should I?"

Alistair hesitated then moved onto the steps.

"No, no, I'll knock. Just give me a minute."

Alistair muttered things only he could hear and then knocked on the door quickly before he lost his nerve, drawing a deep breath directly afterward.

We heard a voice and footsteps on the other side of the door.

"Laundry is all done, Miss Teffren. I have it 'ere for you."

We looked at each other, questioning what we'd heard and the door opened up in front of us, a thin, pale blond woman on the other side.

"Oh, you're not...can I 'elp you? Need some laundry done?"

"Uh, no. Actually, we're...are you Goldanna?"

The woman stared back at Alistair.

"Aye, that's me."

"Um, this is going to sound a bit strange but...you see, I..."

Alistair was faltering and I put my hand on his arm to give him strength. I felt him take a breath and then he tried again.

"My name is Alistair and... and I think I'm your brother."

Goldanna stood at the door and just looked back at us, no apparent expression on her face. She remained quiet long enough for me to think she was no longer going to speak.

"They told me you was dead."

Alistair wasted no time.

"They... who? Who told you I was dead?"

Goldanna stood back a bit from the doorway, appearing to want a better look at the two of us.

"Thems at the castle. I asked after the babe when mother died but they told me the babe died, same as mother."

Alistair was shocked and sad as he responded.

"I'm sorry they told you that... I don't know what they were thinking but... the babe didn't die. I'm him...I'm the babe."

Goldanna stood there, once again expressionless.

"Would... would you mind if we came in to talk? I'd really like to talk to you if I could."

Goldanna eyed us up and down and Alistair knew she was wary so he guaranteed her that we were just to talk, nothing more. She seemed to accept it as she turned and left the door open behind her.

"Come in then if you're comin'. Wipe your feet."

We entered the doorway but found only a scrap of material near the door on which to wipe our feet but we did our best. Goldanna gestured to a simple and crooked wooden table with three chairs around it and we each took a seat.

Alistair hadn't a clue where to start as he stumbled over words for a moment but he worked it out.

"I... I just have so much that I'd like to talk to you about. How... how have you been all of these years? Where have you been? In Denerim this whole time? I'm sorry that I didn't come any sooner but I had just found out about you. I would have come much sooner had I known."

Goldanna seemed to ignore Alistair's questions, continuing on her own train of thought.

"I would offer you tea or somethin' but I don't get no company and can't afford them kinds of things."

"No that's fine, we're okay. So...have you been in Denerim all these years?"

"Not 'til recent, finally had the silver to move out to this house. Husband died and they brought me what was left of his pay but that didn't last long. Then I started washin' clothes for people and that's what we live on."

Alistair spit out another question before realizing he had skipped over the part of her husband dying.

"Where did you live before? Did you stay at the castle with the others?"

Goldanna shook her head.

"Sent me away they did, hid me in the Alienage. Gave me some coin to shut my mouth and left me to rot, just seven years old. I lived in the filth with the elves for years, but they was kinder to me than any family I ever had."

Alistair began reaching for Goldanna's hand, perhaps to comfort her, but then stopped, knowing she would be leery and not wanting to alarm her.

"And, I'm sorry about your husband...I. I'm just so excited to talk with you finally. Was it something serious?"

Goldanna shrugged.

"He picked up the Black Fever in Lothering, he did. It took him within a week."

Alistair was stunned and stumbled on further words of apology and I offered my own to his sister.

"I'm so sorry."

Goldanna simply nodded and looked at the table. Apparently she had numbed herself to the pain of it as she did not appear emotional in the slightest.

"He was a lout mostly anyhow, caught him cheatin' with the barmaid, I did. Never gave a damn 'bout his kids neither."

_So he had been a cheater._

Alistair stuttered.

"_Kids_?"

"Yeah, I gots two boys from the lout, best thing he ever gave me. Never gave me a penny to help out neither. Took off to Redcliffe to be with his whore, he did."

Goldanna obviously did not care much for the husband-that-was and I cannot say I blamed her one bit.

"Two boys? You mean... I have..._nephews?_"

Goldanna looked at Alistair.

"I 'spose that you do."

What I can only describe as pure joy spread across Alistair's face and he asked where the boys were right now.

"They's outside, playin'."

I smiled as Alistair asked if he could see them, knowing he could not wait to meet them either.

"You want me to bring them in 'ere? Let me call 'em in."

Goldanna got up and went to the door, opening it then yelling out into the courtyard.

"Cyrocco! Drachen! Come in the 'ouse, boys."

Alistair stared at me across the table and whispered excitedly, beaming and grabbing my hand.

"I have _nephews...nephews!_ Two of them!"

I giggled and was very glad that all had worked out between Alistair and his sister, considering all the stress that Alistair had created for himself beforehand. I was very interested in meeting these two little boys myself.

Alistair stood as Goldanna backed away from the door and two little boys came charging into the house, making noises galore and yelling about bandits and how they had taken care of them and the kingdom was safe once again.

The boys spotted us at the table and a sudden hush fell over them and you could see they were shy around strangers.

"Boys, this is...Well, he's your Uncle Alistair."

The boys simply stood there, grinding their big toes into the wooden floor, not saying anything but you could tell they were interested in our armor as when their eyes did wander from the floor, they inspected it as much as possible.

"Say hello, boys. You's bein' rude, you is."

The boys obeyed their mother and chimed in together, a monotone response solely for the purpose of pleasing her.

"Hi."

More toe grinding.

Alistair's eyes were glistening as I watched him stare at the boys; he had found his family at last. I was so happy for him at this moment.

The boys were adorable once you looked past the layer of dirt on them, presumably from playing outside. They wore tattered clothes which were patched in so many places that I wondered if that's what was holding them together. They were very thin as well, all three of them were. I shuddered to think of how many nights they may have gone without meals. That would end now and I knew Alistair would see to it.

One of the boys had blond hair while the other had dark hair. I was not surprised to find that the blond boy resembled Alistair and I smiled, picturing Alistair as tiny as the boy was, running around like a little crazy.

It was actually not too far from the present picture of him.

"Hi there, boys. I'm Alistair; I'm...your _uncle... _and I'm very happy to meet you."

Alistair squatted down to their height and they watched him, interested now that he was no longer so tall and scary.

Alistair pointed to the blond boy.

"Now who is Drachen? Is that you?"

The blond boy shook his head and pointed to the darker haired boy.

"Okay, so you're Cyrocco," he pointed to the dark haired boy, "and you are Alistair, right?" pointing to the blond boy.

The blond boy looked surprised for a moment then giggled and pointed back at Alistair.

"No _you_ is Alistair."

Alistair was mixing up their names on purpose, trying to make them comfortable and I laughed as I looked on.

"Okay so I am Alistair, you are Cyrocco, but which one of you is Trorry?"

They went back and forth for a few minutes and Alistair actually had the boys giggling loudly with him as they used every boy name they could think of for each other, finding it hilarious to be called by another name. I giggled to myself watching them laugh together, it was contagious.

_Alistair is right in his element._

Goldanna had taken her seat again and I noticed how aged she looked. She could not have been more than six or seven years Alistair's senior but from the looks of it, life had taken its toll on her.

There was a knock on the door that had just been closed and I told Goldanna to stay where she was, that I would answer.

"It's got to be Miss Teffren for her laundry."

I opened the door and was greeted by a haughty woman who looked me up and down before curtly requesting her laundry.

"I have it right 'ere, Miss Teffren. It's all ready for ya."

Goldanna was already across the room and carried a large basket of clean and folded clothes to the woman who took it from her and then dropped three silvers into Goldanna's hand.

"Next week I'll need the same service."

The woman did not thank Goldanna but gave me one last surly look before turning and departing from the doorway.

_Three silvers? For all of that laundry?_

_Goldanna is being cheated by these cheap, arrogant city folk._

I noticed Alistair watching the transaction as well and he looked as concerned as I was that this is how Goldanna made her living but he was dragged away by the boys.

Alistair now had the boys in a frenzy as they bounded around him now yelling about dragons and such and he asked Goldanna if it was all right if they went outside.

"Sure, just stay 'way from the prickle bush 'round the corner. They loves to get stuck in that, they do."

The boys ran back outside followed by Alistair and I suggested to Goldanna that we might bring the chairs outside and join them. She agreed and I carried both chairs outside and placed them in front of the house and we sat once again, watching the three boys play outside.

Goldanna did not offer conversation and I did not want her to feel forced to engage with me so we simply sat and watched the ruckus before us, the noise level increasing with each minute.

Watching Drachen riding around on Alistair's shoulders brought a chuckle out of Goldanna and then of course Cyrocco wanted his turn and this went on for a while until Alistair told the boys that his head was going to fall off if any more rides were given.

They only laughed at him and pig piled upon him as he fell to the ground, acting as if they were wolves attacking him and the boys acted the part perfectly.

Goldanna was smiling a bit more now and I figured it had been quite a while since she'd had anything smile about.

Life should not have to be so hard for anyone and I hoped Alistair would see to that when it became his time to be King. Not only for Goldanna, but other citizens suffering the same fate.

Alistair rushed over to me suddenly, catching his breath a bit before puffing a request to both me and Goldanna.

"Do you think I could take the boys to the marketplace? I wanted to pick out a couple of things for them."

Goldanna waved her approval and I smiled, tucking a sovereign into Alistair's hand.

"Make sure you spoil them _rotten_."

Alistair beamed and I saw the twinkle in his eye as he was already planning to not bring back any change.

"Why don't you ladies come with us? It's so beautiful outside."

Goldanna refused the invitation, stating that she had to finish up some more laundry and there were dirty dishes to be done as well so I offered to help her with that and told Alistair to take the boys himself. I knew he would be fine and it would be a great experience for him.

Alistair agreed quickly and all three of them walked off towards the marketplace, one little hand in each of Alistair's on either side of him. I had to stop where I was and note how precious they were together.

I returned into the house and Goldanna was already at the basin with the dishes and I helped her by drying the wet ones.

"So you's Alistair's wife?"

"Oh no. We're not married."

"Oh. You's are just having the fun part then?"

I laughed briefly. Goldanna had assumed way too much.

"No, not that either. We are both Grey Wardens and that's how we came to meet and to be friends."

"Grey Wardens? Thems the soldiers that fight them Darkspawn creatures?"

"Yes, that's us."

Goldanna nodded and we talked no further until the door burst open a bit later, the boys returning from their shopping trip.

"We're back and we've got dinner! Or maybe it's lunch, I'm not sure. But we've got chicken!"

The kids dashed in behind Alistair now loaded down with gifts that they could barely hold in both arms.

"What's all this?"

Goldanna came over to investigate what was going on and her eyes widened as she saw the five roast chickens that Alistair held, piled in a box in his arms, the biggest smile on his face.

Fishing poles, various balls of all sizes and colors, wooden swords, toy horses, wooden boats and what appeared to be Golem dolls littered the floor as the boys brought everything in and then dropped everything into separate piles on the floor, admiring their treasure with much enthusiasm and squealing.

I smiled, remembering Alistair's story of his own Golem doll given to him by Arl Eamon and I see that he had chosen to continue the tradition.

I could not contain my laughter as I watched the Golems destroy the boats and then ride away on the horses that had been on the boats as green and red balls rained down from the Heavens as the boys had to try out all their toys at once. The boys very much loved coming out the heroes of the story and I knew exactly where they got that from, even if Alistair would never admit it.

After the boys settled down a bit, Alistair suggested that they take seats and have some chicken for lunch and that seemed fine by them as they bounded over to the table, each with a toy in their hands and chatting away.

I watched the boys eye the chicken and Goldanna did as well and I felt sad as they appeared to hardly ever see this type of food. Alistair noticed this as well and we shared yet another despondent look.

"Dig in, guys!"

I had brought the plates that we had just finished washing over to the table and told Goldanna to sit as I helped Alistair dole out portions of the chickens to each of them. We ate with little interruption and then I refused to let Goldanna get up at all, clearing the table of all dishes and washing them. It felt good to do something so mundane with little consequence for once.

As I washed the dishes, I looked out the window and noticed it was past mid-afternoon and I suddenly remembered we were to meet Wynne and Leliana at the corner they'd specified many hours ago, at least two by my guess.

_Oh no! We are so late!_

I hurriedly finished the dishes and walked to Alistair.

"Alistair, I need to..."

Alistair ignored my words and spoke over me, getting up from his chair.

"Come here."

Alistair took my hand and led me back towards what passed for the kitchen and we stopped there as he looked at me.

"I got you something at the marketplace. I hope you like it."

I sort of shook my head and watched in surprise as Alistair opened his hand to reveal a gold ring.

I just stared at it, wondering why he had gotten me anything at all.

"Alistair... what..?"

"Please, just try it on."

"I...All right."

I took the ring from between his fingers and tried it on my third finger and it was too loose so I slid it over my middle finger and it was a perfect fit. As I looked down at it, I noticed something etched into the gold. It was a tree and I was not sure what kind but the workmanship was beautiful.

"Wow. I don't know what to say, Alistair. Thank you."

"Just say that you like it."

"Oh I do, it's beautiful but..."

"That's all there is to it then."

Alistair's smile silenced me and I moved on to what I was trying to tell him earlier, not sure what else to make of his gift.

"Alistair, I need to go pick up Wynne and Leliana. They've probably been waiting over an hour for us."

Alistair smacked his forehead and swore that he had forgotten as well.

"Let me come with you, I just lost track of time..."

"No, you stay here. I can just bring them here and then you can introduce your family to them as well."

Alistair smiled at that idea, excited and proud to show his family off to his friends and I left the house quickly, leaving it up to Alistair to explain my hasty departure.


	8. Chapter 8

I walked towards the market, looking all over then spying Wynne and Leliana exactly where they had said they would be.

"_There _you are! We thought something had happened to you."

Leliana moved quickly towards me and took hold of my arm as I explained the situation to her.

"I'm so sorry! We were caught up with Alistair's family and... we just lost track of time. I just remembered and... Well, here I am."

Wynne looked perturbed but did not say anything beyond adding that she was glad all was fine. Leliana had a nervousness about her that dissipated as I finished speaking.

"Come meet his family for a moment and then we'll all head back to camp before dark."

We returned to Goldanna's house and I knocked on the door as we arrived.

Alistair opened the door within seconds and told everyone to come inside, quickly apologizing to Wynne and Leliana then skipping right to introductions.

I watched as Leliana sunk down to her knees and said hello to the boys, who were much less shy with her than they had been with us. Wynne just said hello from afar and stood near the door, holding her parcel in her arms.

Leliana spoke softly to them.

"Show me what toys Uncle Alistair got for you."

Cyrocco and Drachen wasted no time running across the floor to show off their toys, beginning to explain just how the Golems did not like the boats and how they rode their magical horses around. They did not explain how the colored balls came into play but Drachen rained them down over everything, laughing and picking them up again and starting over. Leliana smiled the whole time, nodding her head and agreeing with everything the boys said, adding that she was very impressed with their toys. I would guess this is the most company the boys had had in a long time and they were going to enjoy it to the fullest, trying to convince Leliana to step outside with them and help save the village by killing the evil wizard.

I watched them interact with each other and smiled. Leliana was even good with children and when they asked about her bow, she took it off her back and brought it in front of them, explaining how she used it and letting them touch it. The boys were very impressed and began ranting about needing help to slay the dragon that Alistair had supposedly already helped slay earlier.

Wynne greeted the children again as well when they approached her and showed her their toys and then spoke briefly to Goldanna but they hadn't much in common and Wynne looked as if she wanted to leave, continuing to check the light outside the window.

"It will be dark soon, Detra. We should be leaving."

Alistair looked at Wynne and then me and began pouting, not wanting to leave.

"Wynne's right, Alistair, we need to be on our way soon. We don't want to be traveling in the dark. If you'd like, why don't you stay in Denerim tonight and we can pick you up tomorrow?"

Alistair considered it for a moment.

"No, no, I can't let you ladies go alone. I will go back with you."

"Are you sure?"

Alistair once again considered his options.

"Yes, I can always come back. But let's go for tonight."

I pulled Alistair aside for a moment as Leliana and Wynne were saying goodbye to his family, handing him a purse of coins.

"Why don't you give this to Goldanna, Alistair? Thirty sovereigns should be good for now. We always can send more later."

Alistair's eyes burst open and he paused while reaching for the coin purse I held towards him.

"_Thirty_ sovereigns? Are you sure that we can afford that?"

I winked at Alistair.

"We can afford it, Alistair. Goldanna deserves it and so do you. I do not like seeing anyone living like this."

The three of us said our quick farewells then walked outside to allow Alistair his final farewells for this visit and Leliana commented on how cute the boys were.

"Aren't they, though? And the blond one even looks like Alistair!"

We giggled in agreement and Wynne just looked toward the sky, again voicing her worry about traveling in the dark.

"He'll be right out then we can go, Wynne."

Wynne nodded impatiently and adjusted the pack across her back for travel.

I was not sure what was wrong with Wynne, perhaps she was just tired or maybe there was something else wrong. I thought about speaking with her and then Alistair came through the door.

"Goodbye! I will see you all again soon!"

Alistair closed the door behind him and we were off again, back to camp.

We all found Alistair to be unusually quiet during the trip back to camp, a small smile seeming permanent on his face.


	9. Chapter 9

We arrived back at camp before the sun was even near setting and everyone expected Alistair to talk endlessly about the meeting with his sister but he was still quiet and still smiling to himself.

Zevran had kept his word and the campsite was exceptionally tidy, as wilderness went anyhow. He had also repaired the damage around his tent by filling in the hole.

I greeted Sten who was close by and after receiving a low grunt back from him, headed to my tent, dropping my pack inside and saw Alistair moving about the fire now and I was curious as to what he was doing.

He was starting dinner it seems as he put some additional chicken he had bought in Denerim into his usual pot and added some vegetables and other items. I had forgotten it was his night to cook.

I walked to him and offered my help.

"No thanks! I'm just going to set this to cook and it should be done soon."

Alistair was extremely chipper and I was very glad to see him so. After Duncan had died, it almost seemed as if most of Alistair had died with him. It saddened me so to hear Alistair talk of wanting to have been with Duncan during the Ostagar battle but I understood why he felt that way. He knew he would surely have perished but at least Duncan would not have died alone, on a field littered with allies' bodies already being fed upon by the cursed Darkspawn filth.

But now that Alistair knew he had family and that they were safe, his zest for life had returned, especially when he thought of his two nephews. _Uncle _Alistair would make them proud.

It also did not hurt that we were winning on the home front so far either and the Landsmeet was almost upon us. The fate of Ferelden would be decided soon enough.

* * *

Leliana was walking Shmooples around the camp and Oghren, drunk of course, was yelling out to her about how succulent Shmooples looked. Leliana's mouth dropped open as she looked back at him and she moved far from Oghren, toward the trees, a horrified look on her face, considering what he was saying.

I walked to Oghren and he turned to me as I arrived.

"Heyyyyyy, Warden! Care to *hic* join you for a drink?"

"Oghren, you must stop referring to Shmooples as a 'snack' and such, you are distressing Leliana. I think she believes that you might eat him one day, so please..."

"And I *HIC* would too! Nugs are sodding _delicious_ with an ale batter!"

Leliana's face grew even more despondent as she overheard his shouting and she started to move a little quicker with Shmooples, fearing the worst from the inebriated dwarf.

"Oghren- quit it! Shmooples is her pet and you're making her nervous, so please stop!"

Oghren looked as if offended then laughed loudly before falling over backwards. I knew he has passed out because the alcohol drained from his mug into the ground. A conscious Oghren would _never_ have allowed that to happen.

He would sleep it off and then wake up in a couple of hours to repeat the same exact thing. I do not know how he could stand to ingest so much alcohol but then again, he had so much practice over the years. Drink or no, Oghren was a mighty force to be reckoned with.

I looked for where Leliana and Shmooples had ended up and saw them both now standing near Morrigan's fire and Leliana and Morrigan actually looked involved in conversation.

_That probably isn't good._

Briskly making my way over in their direction, I caught Morrigan giving her opinion of Shmooples.

"Take that scaly, bald, pink _thing_ away from my camp straight away! I do not want that rodent's droppings underfoot! Away with you!"

Leliana was defending Shmooples' honor and stating that he had already done his business in his own area but Morrigan wanted none of it.

"Away I said! 'Tis a dirty little beast and I do not want it near me."

"Awww, Morrigan! Shmooples is not dirty, he is a sweetheart."

I clapped my hands as I approached the three of them and Shmooples stopped munching grass and scampered over to me as I kneeled down and he greeted me by jumping up on my knees and licking my face.

"Who's the special little pink man, huh? Yes, that's _you_!"

I scratched behind Shmooples' ears and he gave me his happy eyes.

"Oh _lovely_, you are sure to get the plague now. That filthy beast must have diseases that men do not even know of yet. I shudder to think of where he has been, in addition to licking his bottom."

I laughed at Morrigan and she sighed, disgusted.

"If you are going to let that creature climb all over you, do it elsewhere!"

I continued laughing, thoroughly enjoying Morrigan's unease just as she always relished ours. I picked Shmooples up into my arms and he calmly rode with me over to Morrigan's tent, all the while Morrigan yelling at me to get away with him.

"Are you insane? Take it away this instant!"

I turned so that Morrigan could fully view Shmooples' little face.

"But look at him, is he not the_ cutest_ nug you have ever seen?"

"_Away!_"

Morrigan screeched at me and my mouth fell open. I had not expected her to get so upset.

"I'm sorry."

I apologized to him before I put Shmooples down and he sprinted back towards Leliana and away from the loud human. I shouldn't have subjected him to Morrigan, not when she is like this.

Leliana scooped him up and walked back towards the others, having had her fill of Morrigan for the night. Perhaps even for the whole week.

I walked back towards Morrigan and she stared at me, still outraged by my actions and an angry aura surrounded her.

"Morrigan, I was only joking with you. You needn't get so upset."

"After you have had that mangy beast all over you, do not presume to come near me, Warden. I'll not abide the smell."

I walked closer to Morrigan and she backed up.

"What- you? Afraid of a little dirt? I think not. Shmooples is a good boy if you give him a chance."

"Away, Warden. I am warning you."

"Warning..._what_? Morrigan, you need to _relax. _Please."

Morrigan's chest heaved and I looked into her eyes and there was more than anger there.

_There was heat._

I moved even closer and she did not speak again but I saw her fists tighten further and she looked towards the ground.

"_You know_, you are so very cute when you are angry..."

Morrigan's eyes darted back up to mine and she looked dismayed but I caught the glimmer of curiosity behind it all.

I could not help but flirt with a beautiful woman and this was not the first time it had happened. It was one of my vices, and Morrigan was no different, angry mage or not. There had always been something about her that made me think twice and every time we spoke, it only grew stronger.

"Let me know if you need any help relaxing, Morrigan. I am sure I have something that would help you."

A triumphant smile upon my face, I turned from Morrigan and let her stew in her own infuriated juices, in disbelief that I had such courage with such a woman as Morrigan.


	10. Chapter 10

Gathering my bathing materials, I headed off down the small hill to the spring that snaked its way through the land behind our camp. We used this spring for all our needs and the water was always fresh as it was constantly flowing from the mountains surrounding us.

I wanted to take a quick bath before supper and speak with Alistair about today and if there was anything else we might be able to do for his sister and two nephews. I also needed to speak with Wynne about what was troubling her.

The water was always cold but I had adjusted to its bite over time and I quickly stripped my clothing off, already invigorated by the chill in the darkening air.

Wading into the small pool, I dunked my bar of soap and my washcloth and began working up a lather in my hands.

"Why must you always be in my way?"

A voice came from behind me and lo and behold- Morrigan stood behind me, towel and soap in her hand.

"I am only in your way if you want to be where I am."

"Well where you _are_ happens to be where we all bathe, so I do not see that I have any choice but to deal with you again."

"Oh, you could always wait until I am done if it is_ so_ horrid to be around me."

Morrigan appeared to mull that over.

"By the time you are done, it will be dark and...I prefer to get this over with."

"Come on in then, pretty lady. The water is _lovely_!"

I laughed and splashed at Morrigan and as always, I got the glare and then she clucked that tongue of hers at me.

_I wonder if she knew there were better uses for it._

I turned to give Morrigan a bit of peace to undress and began washing up, my body shivering a bit now that I had been in the water a few minutes already. I decided to give Morrigan a break and just continued washing as I heard her step into the pool with me and I did not harass her further.

I rinsed my hair and began shaking most of the water out of it so as not to soak my towel and then I noticed Morrigan was pretty close to me in the pool, although it was not that spacious to begin with.

"What is it that you are up to?"

I looked at her, absolutely confused.

"Up to? I am not up to anything, Morrigan."

"You are simply too quiet so you must be planning something wicked."

I smiled and finished rinsing off.

"Do you miss me when I do not bother you, Morrigan?"

I smiled as she glared and gave her what she wanted as I splashed her.

"Is that better?"

Morrigan shook her head and gave her insult her best shot.

"You are so childish. And you claim to be of noble blood? 'Tis apparent the nug in camp has more intelligence than you."

"_Morrigan_...you'd best stop that right now..."

I sang my words to her, laughing the whole while.

"You are only provoking me _further_."

I kept pelting her with little splashes and reminded her that she had asked for it.

"I have asked for nothing but for you to leave me be, yet you continue your foolishness."

"Yes, because when I _do_ leave you be, you ask me when next I will be bothering you."

Morrigan jerked her cloth under the water with a splash.

"Oh, do shut up!"

I laughed and walked out of the pool, bowing to her and laughing that I could illicit such a response.

"As you wish."

I shivered violently, having stayed in the water too long and I tried to towel off quickly and then I put on my fresh clothes. Warming up a bit, I picked up all my things from the ground and turned to return to camp.

Morrigan was behind me then and I felt her hand in the middle of my chest as she pushed me back against the tree behind me that my towel was draped upon.

Morrigan moved so close to me and I gasped as I felt her breath in my ear and then her words came.

"Be wary of what you wish for."

Morrigan moved away from me then and I smiled back at her stern face.

"And you as well, Morrigan."

Morrigan said nothing else but moved away from me, seeming surprised that I was not intimidated.

"Was that not touching, Morrigan? I thought you did not tolerate any manner of touching?"

Morrigan shook her head and moved further from me but I was not about to let her get away with this.

"So was that a good touch or a bad touch, Morrigan?"

Morrigan grunted and clucked her tongue again, glaring at me.

"As if you would know the difference, Warden."

"Actually, I do."

I moved towards Morrigan and slid my hand onto her shoulder, drawing as close to her as she had been to me just moments ago and whispered into her ear.

"Surely you cannot hide behind your walls forever."

It seems Morrigan was rooted where she was but of course she still maintained her glare at me as I moved away from her, not wishing to further incite her wrath.

I walked past her and back up the hill, feeling a strange tingle within.

_Morrigan really needs a release._

_I have never seen her this...perturbed._

* * *

_**Maddening woman**!_

_How she found the nerve to..._

Morrigan could not complete her thought as she generated such an exasperated grunt and resigned herself to the freezing pool instead, assured that the frosty water would wash away any sensation that I had left behind.

* * *

Now that I was clean and fresh, I could face the rest of the crew and I spotted Alistair sitting over near the pond and I started towards him after putting my things away.

You could see the sun's reflection in the pond and the colors in the sky were impressive enough to make me stop and stare for a moment before I greeted Alistair as I approached behind him.

"Oh, hey! Have a seat."

I dropped down next to Alistair and he smiled at me.

"You are happy, Alistair... And I am happy for you."

That smile he'd worn all day returned and once again Alistair gushed about how he was _so_ happy to have his new family in his life.

"It's all thanks to you. I would never have gone by myself to meet them but you were there for me and you went with me. I want you to know how much that means."

I held up my hand, bringing attention to the ring on my middle finger.

"And every time I look at this ring, I will think of all that happiness."

Alistair smiled and then it faded.

"I only wish that I had remembered to give Goldanna our mother's locket. I think that she would really love having it. I don't think she has anything that belonged to our mother."

"Oh you forgot? No matter though, you can just save it until next time you see them. The Landsmeet is only days away and we will be back in Denerim for that."

"Right, right! And I can take the boys fishing! And we can have a picnic on the lake...There is just so much..."

Alistair trailed off and I looked at him, wondering why and now Alistair was frowning.

"I'm sorry, Detra..."

"What? Why?"

"Because here I am talking endlessly about my family when you have so recently lost yours. I feel so selfish."

I pulled my knees up towards my chest and threw a stone into the water, watching the ripples splay outward to the sides. I was not about to dash Alistair's mood because of my loss.

"It's all right, Alistair. I know I will see them again one day. And all is not lost, my brother Fergus still lives. He is one tough bugger and he will return to Denerim when the war has ended and we have won, I just know it. I do not think he perished."

Alistair just stared at me for a moment and I tilted into him with my body, nudging him.

"What is it?"

"I just want you to know that I think you are a wonderful person."

I smiled and looked away, his attention embarrassing me.

"I'm glad you found your family, Alistair, and I am glad that you can be with them. Do not ever feel badly about that. And those boys- they simply _adore_ you."

Alistair smiled at the mention of the boys and his eyes went askew for a moment, lost in his thoughts.

"Goldanna and the boys are not the only family that I have."

Alistair looked at me with such sincerity and he swung his arm around my shoulders, pulling me against him.

I smiled as I understood what he was saying and the two of us just sat near the pond, watching the last of the sunset together.


	11. Chapter 11

The group milled around the pot of stew that had finished over the fire and one by one they spooned out their portions then moved away to their usual places to eat.

Alistair and I did not take any stew as we had already eaten with his family earlier in Denerim. However, I was indulging in the drink that I'd stashed in my tent for the past week and it was an exquisite and sweet strawberry wine.

I sipped leisurely as I sat in front of my tent, watching everyone go about their business of eating and I noticed Alistair with Wynne and I could tell exactly what he was talking about by the look on his face. Wynne looked very tired but was listening as she always did and I wondered if that was all that was wrong with her. I also wondered if it was too late to approach her about it.

Hopefully Alistair would not keep her forever and she could get some rest as she had some healing to do.

"You're not eating, Detra? There is plenty for everyone you know."

Leliana stood over me as I was pouring another glass of wine for myself and I looked up.

"Actually, we had some late lunch with Alistair's family so I'm not hungry."

"May I join you?"

I smiled up at Leliana and gestured next to me.

"Please do."

Leliana sat down with her bowl of stew after I had just taken a large sip out of my glass and was busy stashing the bottle just inside my tent when Leliana's eyes settled on me.

I giggled softly.

"It's strawberry wine and it's very good. Would you like to try some?"

"I would actually."

Leliana leaned towards me and pulled my lips into hers softly.

It took a moment for my head to clear and I had not been expecting that at all.

"You're right. It _is_ delicious."

I giggled at Leliana's methods and poured some wine into another glass I had hidden away. I had a feeling that she would join me so I had readied both glasses and made sure they were clean.

"Mmm, this is so very tasty, Detra. Where did you get it?"

"Redcliffe Castle actually. Bann Teagan gave me two bottles with his best wishes after we had finished things with Connor."

"That was thoughtful of him."

I sighed and stretched my back and neck, my fingers laced behind my head and then found Leliana looking at me and she giggled.

"What's wrong?"

"It's just that...you reminded me of last night with those stretching... noises."

A smile crept onto my face as memories overwhelmed me and I closed my eyes, in the grip of the wine and the visions Leliana had brought back.

"Last night? But what about this morning?"

I giggled freely again, under the wine's influence and Leliana responded to my second reminder.

"If we were able, I do hope that you know we would be in your tent right now, back under the blanket."

Sparks ignited throughout my body and I breathed deeply as I felt my heart twitch in my chest.

I smiled fiendishly at Leliana.

"I am on second watch tonight. I have...some time before I am needed."

Leliana beamed at my suggestion.

"We really should fix the watch schedule. Maybe I could trade with..."

I snorted loudly.

"No, it is _not_ possible that we can be on watch together, Leliana. Somehow I do not think we would be very..._alert_. To danger anyhow."

We laughed together, knowing it was true.

"_**Warden!**_"

I heard Sten's deep voice boom across the camp and I stood as I turned to its source, my breath caught in my chest thinking of what horror must be taking place to make Sten actually speak to us voluntarily.

Sten approached carrying a man by the collar of his shirt, obviously against his wishes. I did not recognize the man at all but he was talking incessantly.

"I found him coming towards the camp. He claims to be a friend to the Warden that you have mentioned before. The one who fell at Ostagar."

The man seemed glad to see other humans surround him and appeared to relax as Leliana and I gathered around him, Alistair joining us seconds later.

"Who do you speak of, man? What Grey Warden?"

"Listen, I... I've been looking to speak with you since you left Denerim. I've been trying to find you for a month."

I questioned him again, moving closer as I did not sense any immediate danger.

"Who are you?"

"My name is Levi and I'm a friend of Duncan's."

Alistair broke into the conversation and moved closer.

"Duncan? How did you know him?"

"My grandmother, she was a Grey Warden. Duncan had known of her and...Well, we met some time ago."

"Really? And how long did you know Duncan?"

"Only months. I met him back in Denerim, at the Royal Court. I was there trying to find out about my family's land but King Cailin was already out at Ostagar fighting the Darkspawn with the Royal Army and no one else would help me. Duncan was headed to Ostagar soon as well and everyone was so in awe of the Grey Warden and said he was recruiting help to bring with him to Ostagar. I had had my fill of talk of the Wardens at that point and I made my way down to the tavern so I could drown myself as I'd gotten nowhere with my visit to Denerim. Duncan also came into the tavern and said that I looked familiar to him and asked my name."

Levi looked to be taking a breather from speaking so we let him rest his lungs a bit.

"I told him my name and he told me that he knew of my grandmother and the situation that had unfolded at Soldier's Peak."

Alistair interrupted.

"Soldier's Peak? What's that?"

"It's a fortress that the Grey Wardens had owned for centuries and where my grandmother Sophia took her last stand."

"Last stand?"

Alistair's curiosity was piqued and he watched Levi for his response.

Sten was still holding Levi's collar and I just realized this.

"Sten, you can put him down. I don't think he's going to harm any of us."

Sten, still wearing his stern face, released his grip on the man's collar and stood away from him, still watching warily.

"Levi, why don't you come join us by the fire. We still have some stew left from supper if you'd like some."

"Uh...I don't know what to say. Thank you, Warden."

"Please, call me Detra."

I held my hand out to Levi as we walked towards the fire and we shook briefly.

"Well I'm glad to have finally found you, Detra. I have been traveling all over for the past month, trying to locate your group and I always just missed you by hours or sometimes a day."

"Come, sit, Levi. Have some of the chicken stew Alistair made and you can tell us your story. If you would not mind, that is."

"Yes, it's quite a tale."

Alistair led Levi to the black pot near the fire and showed him where the bowls and utensils were and soon Levi joined us sitting by the fire.

"This stew is delicious if you don't mind me saying so!"

Alistair smiled coyly, glad someone appreciated his 'throw it in the pot and boil it until it's all one color' cooking.

"That's all Alistair's doing. He's actually quite the cook." I said.

Levi nodded to Alistair as he devoured the stew in his bowl and I handed him some water.

We let him eat in peace, making small talk with one another and then Levi continued his story after he had finished with his meal.

His grandmother, Sophia Dryden, had been a Commander within the Grey Warden ranks and they had resided at Soldier's Peak as it was their headquarters. They had traders, workers, servants and even mages stationed within the walls of the Peak and life was good, but one day things turned sour.

Word was received by King Maric that blood magic was being used on the premises of the Peak and the King immediately dispatched a small company of knights to investigate.

Levi extended his theory of who the gossip may have been.

"I guess one of the traders was angry with the Wardens for some trouble he had with another trader. This second trader was allowed to set higher prices than the first one and we assume that it was the first trader who turned gossip, for simple greed. This is what my family had heard anyhow but it could have been anyone I suppose."

After that, the knights arrived a few days later at the Peak, demanding to speak with the Warden Commander. They were of course immediately brought to Sophia who had no idea of the situation that was unfolding.

The knights were unkind with their claims and accused the Commander of being a blasphemer and a friend to blood magic, all that King Maric stood opposed to. This was the first that Sophia had heard of blood magic in her midst and she argued with them, stating no such thing was happening.

The knights refused her word and claimed that she was under arrest and was to accompany them back to Denerim for judgment. One of the guards at the Commander's door responded by prematurely attacking one of the knights that threatened Sophia and a battle ensued, ending with all twelve of the King's knights slain.

"Oh wow...the Wardens just killed them all?" Alistair interrupted.

"They had no choice. Once the first sword was swung by that Warden, the knights would not stop until they were all dead or the traitors under arrest. And the Wardens had no choice from then on but to defend themselves, which they did."

* * *

The Warden Commander stood and looked at the bodies that lay on the stone floor, blood forming pools around them.

A new recruit stood near her and she could see him shaking.

"What now, Commander? Surely the King will not stand for this! This is treason!"

Sophia's mind worked quickly, as it always had in these dire situations.

"Get the Captain and call the others. We need to meet immediately!"

The new recruit nodded and ran off.

Sophia turned and headed towards the south end of the Peak, where the mages spent all of their time dabbling in magic and fortifying the defense and strength of the Wardens.

"Avernus! You _lied_ to me!"

The mage hung his head, not in shame but in study, a book open before him.

"I have done whatever it has taken to improve the Wardens and I do not regret a thing, Commander. We would not have come so far had I not employed the darker arts."

"We will be under attack by the King in just a few days time, Avernus! You have doomed the Wardens with use of your blood magic!"

Avernus turned to the Commander.

"Then I suggest we ready for battle, Commander."

Sophia knew the King would not stop now. He would spare no one after what was done to the previous knights was found out.

The King would never allow this to pass.

_I must protect the Peak and the Warden line, whatever the cost._

The King sent a larger group of soldiers, as expected, five days later when no word had been received back from the first squad of knights and they showed no mercy as they assumed their brethren had been slain. There was nothing that could redeem the Wardens of any suspicions in their eyes.

The soldiers wanted blood.

Shouts, fire and arrows flew through the air as the battle raged on through the night and both sides took heavy losses. The Wardens number had shrunk during the last three days as some had actually fled the Peak before the battle, unable to commit to fighting the King's forces.

* * *

"That's how the story goes anyhow. But I know my grandmother, she would have sent some of the Wardens away. She knew the battle would be lost and she did not want their number depleted, so she ordered them to go. That is probably how the group formed in the Anderfels."

* * *

Finally the Commander and the remaining Wardens were forced back into the Peak and they barred the doors as best they could. All of the traders and merchants had vacated the premises days ago so it was only the few Wardens left to defend themselves.

Their barriers did not hold and the King's men broke through quickly, storming into their midst. Avernus was in the back of the line and he began a summoning spell, the air swirling with darkness among them.

Sophia knew what he was doing and she shouted across the battle.

"Avernus- _no!_"

It was too late.

The Veil was torn before their eyes and Avernus brought forth a Wraith from the Fade and commanded it to slaughter the King's men.

"_No, foolish mage. It is you who will be commanded by me. Your soul is now mine."_

Avernus refused to acknowledge the spirit's denial and he was slain by it before Sophia could intervene.

The Wraith then slaughtered all beings within its reach and soon the floor was littered with corpses, both Warden and soldier.

Only a handful of survivors made it out of the Peak alive and even fewer made it back to Denerim to recall the tale. Those who did ended up in jail for consorting with traitors.

The King was told of the battle and the blood magic that had brought forth the demons by the few survivors and he declared Soldier's Peak lost and considered the matter now closed. He would devote no more time or resources to any group that had committed such treason when there were other, more important tasks at hand.

* * *

"And so it's been that Soldier's Peak has stood for the last hundred years, void of all life except the demons that stalk its hallways."

"_Dear Maker_. All of those people, slaughtered!"

Leliana was in shock from the story and she let us know that the ending bothered her.

"What happened to the Wardens that left before the battle?"

Levi looked at Alistair as he answered him.

"No one knows for sure, but I believe they went to Orlais and joined with the Wardens there after passing through the Anderfels. It was the only safe place for them at that point. Or they could have been the group that formed the Wardens that are in the Anderfels, I'm not sure."

"Detra, we must help get this Peak back for the Wardens. It belongs to us, to our Order."

I was still recovering from the pictures that were now in my head but I nodded.

"You are right, Alistair. Perhaps we could even use it as a base, somewhere to build our numbers up again."

"That's right! We can make more Grey Wardens but this time there will be no such tragedy."

Levi was anxious.

"So you'll help me?"

I nodded again.

"We will, Levi. I can think of no better way to honor Duncan's memory than by helping you and restoring Soldier's Peak to its former glory."

Alistair smiled and I could tell he agreed with me wholeheartedly.

"I think I like the way you think, Detra."

"How far is the Peak from here, Levi?"

Levi rubbed his stubbly chin.

"From here...I would say about half a day's travel."

"Then if the weather is agreeable, we should leave in the morning. We will pull up camp and then from the Peak, we can continue on to the Landsmeet back in Denerim."

"Thank you so much, Warden. I can't tell you what this means to me."

I was relieved we could actually do something to help the Wardens as we were in dire need so I felt as if I should be thanking Levi for bringing this matter to me.

"You already have, Levi."

Levi stood up and walked to me, shaking my hand again, grateful to finally be on the road to figuring out the mystery of what had happened to his grandmother.

"We should get some rest as we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow. Leliana, could you gather everyone so I can let them know of our plans?"

Leliana nodded and stood up to gather the troops and everyone but Morrigan came back with her.

"Tomorrow we are going to pull up camp and head north to a place called Soldier's Peak. We are going to try and reclaim it for the Grey Wardens but it is said to be haunted by Fade spirits now. I need all of you with me to deal with whatever we may walk into and if that goes well, we can continue from there to Denerim. We will have plenty of time as the Landsmeet is seven days away and Levi here tells me travel will only be about half a day from where we are now."

Everyone who was interested introduced themselves to Levi and greetings were exchanged across the fire.

Sten opened his mouth for the second time of the night.

"What does this have to do with the Blight?"

"Well, it does not have to do directly with the Blight, but it will help us rebuild the Wardens in the future if we reclaim this fortress."

"But if you both die in the fight to reclaim this fortress, what Grey Wardens will exist to rebuild your order?"

I did not want to think about that possibility.

"One thing at a time, Sten. And no one is going to die."

"You do not know this for certain"

"No, I do not. But I can certainly tell you that I am not planning on dying, not for a long time."

Sten grunted in reply and I figured my answer had satisfied him or he had simply grown tired of communicating with me.

"No one ever plans to die, Warden. It just happens." Sten said as he walked away.

He always had to think of the worst scenarios.

No one had any other questions or comments so all headed back to their respective areas to rest for tomorrow and the pending travel.

"Levi, you are of course welcome to stay with us here tonight. We do not have an extra tent but..."

Alistair interrupted.

"Levi can stay in my tent. I can definitely make room."

Levi nodded his thanks to Alistair and they both headed off to sort things out for the night.

I laughed to myself.

_Levi will never get to sleep tonight. Alistair is going to talk his ear off._

I stood and headed over to Morrigan's tent as she had chosen not to attend our little meeting. I needed to let her know tomorrow's plan.

Leliana had just shrugged in response to my question of where Morrigan was before the meeting had begun and I figured Morrigan had given her more trouble.

_Better to walk away from her than to lose your patience_.

I stopped halfway to her fire, a thought crossing my mind and I jogged back to my tent, retrieving the content of my thought, wrapped in a thick cloth.

I saw Morrigan reading as I approached her and she only looked up from the book she was kneeling in front of when I cleared my throat. She had some herbs and flasks about her as well. She must be working on spells or something magical as usual.

"What is it?"

Morrigan sounded annoyed as usual.

"Sorry to interrupt you but I need you to know what is planned for tomorrow."

Morrigan sighed wearily and waited for me to continue, her eyes still not coming off of her book, her finger keeping track of the line she was reading.

"We are headed north tomorrow to a place called Soldier's Peak so we will be pulling up camp and all of us will be going."

Now Morrigan looked up at me.

"And what might this Soldier's Peak be? Some sort of fortress? Did that fool man who you let into camp tell you about it?"

"Yes and there is quite a story behind it, you missed it. Now it's said that Fade spirits inhabit the place so we are going to take it back. For the Wardens."

"Fade spirits...'tis blood magic that brought them forth. You still involve yourself in things you know so little about, Warden. What happens if you or others are killed in the taking back of this so-called fortress? How do you even know this man is telling you the truth?"

I smiled at Morrigan.

"Morrigan... it actually sounds like you are concerned. I like it."

Morrigan appeared slightly more irritated but continued.

"I am simply making sure you have thought carefully about your decisions. 'Tis not only you involved."

"I have and we can definitely handle this as a team. Can I count on you?"

Morrigan combined two flasks together.

"I do not see that I have much choice."

"You _always_ have a choice, Morrigan, as I have said many times before. If you ever want to leave, you know that you can. But I would miss you."

Morrigan did not know how to respond to that and returned to her book.

"'Tis fine, Warden. I shall be ready for your fool plan tomorrow."

"By the way, I have something for you. I have been meaning to give it to you for some time actually. Being stabbed kind of got in the way."

I held the swaddled item in my hand out to Morrigan but she only regarded it with her eyes.

"It's for you, Morrigan. Please take it."

"What is this about, Warden? I have much to do tonight and you are testing my patience."

I dropped the item onto Morrigan's book.

"Oh, will you just take a minute and look at what I want to give to you? It is really not such trouble, Morrigan."

"If it will have you away from me sooner then I will open it."

I paused, suddenly realizing that Morrigan may indeed dislike me.

I always thought it was a kind of game to her, the way she spoke to people, but the exasperation in her voice sounded all too real.

I was not going to stay where I was not wanted and that is exactly what it felt like right now.

"I am sorry to bother you then. Goodnight, Morrigan."

I turned and moved away quickly, discomfort filling my head.

"Warden..."

I turned back to Morrigan, her eyes fixed on me.

"Never mind."

Morrigan shook her head and went back to her tome and I continued on my path back to the fire.

* * *

I had to put Morrigan out of my head and I thought sleep would be the remedy and I ducked into my tent.

Removing my armor, I spotted my journal tucked away in my bag and thought about writing a bit in it. Surely an account of all of our exploits would be fascinating to read in the years to come and so far I had been somewhat diligent in recording everything.

My journal in my hand, I was reminded of the many nights spent recording the days that had gone by and I smiled, pleasing memories coming back to me.

Arms from behind me encircled my waist and halted my reflections on the past and I realized it was Leliana.

"How is it that I never know you're there until it's too late?"

Leliana softly kissed my shoulder and whispered her answer.

"Stealth is my specialty."

I turned to Leliana after her arms released me and laughed.

"One of them anyhow."

Leliana smiled so sweetly at me and we kissed before another embrace took us over.

"You look ready for bed."

Leliana eyed me.

"And you do as well."

"Join me?"

I smiled back, gesturing to my bedroll and we both settled in.

"Shmooples is asleep I assume?"

"Yes, we went for a walk earlier and he passed right out in the tent when we got back. He really does love to sleep."

I giggled as I pictured little Shmooples in my head bundled in his blankets. I still had my journal in my hand and I put it beside me.

"What is that, Detra?"

"This? It's my journal. I was going to write in it but now I don't feel like it."

"I did not know you had a journal. Do you write in it often?"

"Not lately as it has been mostly busy. I'm trying to keep a record of our travels and all the happenings. I want people to know what it is that we went through to save Ferelden."

Leliana lay against me.

"Would you read something from your journal to me?"

I began to thumb through the pages, recalling each and every word that I'd written down and feeling as if they were too private to share. The journal also served as my diary and I had planned to separate the story from the private later on.

"Oh, you don't want to hear any of this. It is very boring."

"I do not think so, but I don't want you to read if you would rather not, Detra. It's all right."

Leliana understood how some things should be kept private.

I continued turning a few pages, hoping for an easy entry.

"What is this?"

Leliana touched the ring on my finger that Alistair had given me and was staring at it.

"Oh, Alistair gave me that on the day we met his sister. Isn't it pretty?"

I held my finger up so I could admire it myself as well. I had grown accustomed to seeing it on my hand now and I rather liked it.

Leliana leaned up and looked into my eyes, acting a bit nervous.

"A-Alistair? He gave you a ring? Are you two...?"

"What? Oh no. He just, bought it. I'm not sure why."

"So he doesn't... And you don't..."

I laughed.

"Leliana, if you cannot tell by now that I have no interest in men, then I don't know when it will dawn on you."

Leliana lost her cautious look and settled back down into my arms.

"Good, because no man is good enough for you."

I placed my journal back down and ensured the blanket was covering us as it was a bit chilly.

Leliana snuggled closer to me and I reached over to the oil lamp, turning it off for the night.


	12. Chapter 12

When I awoke, Leliana was already dressing and I rolled over and smiled at her.

"Is it time to get up already? I feel like we just went to sleep."

Leliana giggled.

"It was only a couple of hours ago."

I stretched and then stood up, breathing deeply to wake myself up.

Noises came from outside my tent and I knew the others were already up. I began dressing then helped Leliana finish up with her armor and she in turn helped with mine.

Walking outside, I saw everyone in various states of breaking the campsite down and almost everyone's tent was down but mine.

Leliana headed to her own tent to begin breaking it down and Shmooples walked faithfully as ever beside her having been let out by Alistair.

_I guess I need to start waking up earlier._

I stretched again quickly and then heard Sten's voice which did not sound very happy. I walked toward the sound and found both Alistair and Sten trying to pull down Alistair's tent.

"Like this. You are doing it wrong!"

Alistair was bickering back and forth with him and I walked over to offer my assistance.

"Yes, thank you, Detra. Sten doesn't seem to understand that when two people help each other, they should also talk about what they will do next and not just act alone,"

I walked to Sten's section of the tent and with a short grunt, he walked away from both of us.

"He has such an attitude problem. I wonder if all Qunari are like that? I won't be rushing to invite him to any dinner parties, I can tell you that."

I laughed.

"Sten is just...Sten. His only mission in life seems to be to work, work, work and I guess he does not realize that we are not the same as him. Just makes him different is all."

Alistair and I counted to three and pulled the tent stakes out of the ground and began rolling his tent up, making idle chatter about the journey ahead.

"So what do you think we'll find at this Peak, Detra? I can't even imagine because there are so many possibilities. One hundred years and no tenants? We could walk into anything."

"That is true. That is why I am bringing everyone. I do not want anything unpleasant to happen and with all of us together, I think we can face whatever we find there. Whatever is waiting for us will have quite a fight on its hands."

"I hope you're right."

I helped Alistair finish up and then finished my rounds about the camp, helping where I could and then I returned to my own tent which was still up.

I pulled one stake out of the ground and looked around for some help to deal with the others but Leliana was already on her way towards me, smiling as Shmooples walked beside her.

"Ready? One, two, three..."

We did the same as Alistair and I had done with his tent and Zevran appeared to take care of the third stake.

"Good morning, ladies. How did you both sleep last night? Assuming you actually did sleep that is."

Leliana and I looked across at each other and shared a smile and of course Zevran did not miss a beat.

"I am still waiting for that invitation, by the way. I truly believe that I could enhance the worth of any tryst of which I am part of. This is actually a proven fact. You might even be able to check up on this in certain libraries."

I laughed as I finished rolling my end of the tent up.

"Zevran, darling, it will never happen so put it out of your mind. I love you dearly but you are not my type at all."

I watched Leliana withhold a snicker at her end but Zevran was not deterred.

"Things do not always go as planned, Warden. You may just change your mind someday."

Zevran smiled and walked away to his own area and I shook my head.

He just could not accept the fact that he would never have either of us so he passed it off as a 'not yet' situation.

'_No way' is more like it._

"Zevran seems used to getting his way with the ladies, it seems. Do you think anyone has ever told him no?"

"Surely there must have been one or two. He cannot be everyone's type."

We both laughed as the tent rolling was complete and I began tying it up.

"And what of you, Detra Cousland? Surely you have never been refused?"

Royal blood is an amazing aphrodisiac and I could not ever remember being refused as I filtered through almost every encounter I had ever had within a minute or so.

Of course I was very selective in my choices and it may just have been that there was always a mutual attraction.

Still, it did not hurt to have bragging rights but it is not something I would want Leliana to know.

"No one gets what they want all the time, Leliana. No matter who they are."

I finished tying the tent together and Leliana stared at me as I gathered my belongings. Before I could ask her why, she responded, laughing.

"I will take that as a no."

I did not want to discuss this topic any further so I carried my tent over to the sleigh and distanced myself from Leliana.

The sleigh was our main method of transporting all of our supplies. We called it the sleigh because it looked just like one but it was enclosed on all sides with a curved wood covering in case of adverse weather. The Dalish elves had made it and Lanaya simply gave it to our group when we had helped cure their people and end the werewolf curse. They had many of them for their own moving purposes and she assured me that Varathorn could build another before it was needed. It had been of tremendous help for us because as our party grew, so did the supplies needed and we could not carry everything on our backs.

I spotted Wynne putting the last of her things in her pack and headed over to her. I needed to make sure she was fit for travel and to see if she was all right.

"Wynne, how are you? Do you need any help?"

Wynne searched around herself and then looked up at me.

"No, no. I have everything together I believe."

I moved closer.

"Are you all right, Wynne? The past two days you've seemed..."

"Oh, it's nothing. I am just very tired is all. The spirit... It cannot take the strain I place on it sometimes."

I touched Wynne's shoulder.

"Wynne, I need you to take it easy. Let me pick up the slack if need be but I need you in this. I cannot do this without you."

Wynne smiled at me.

"That's kind of you to say, Detra, but I know that you could. I am not sure how long I have left but I will spend my last days by your side, ending this Blight so you need not worry."

"Please don't speak like that, Wynne. You could have years left and not know it."

"Oh I know these old bones pretty well but you are right. I could have many years left and that means there is no need to worry. We should get going now."

I took Wynne's tent to the sleigh as we walked back towards the rest of the group and I saw Zevran and Morrigan walking back from the spring with water-filled skins and they began passing them out to everyone.

I headed back to the sleigh to secure the ropes and Morrigan appeared next to me, holding one of the skins out to me.

"Warden."

I was afraid to look up at her and I did not, instead just replying as she usually did to us.

"What is it? I am busy."

Morrigan was silent for a moment and then she tossed a skin on top of the sleigh in front of me and it landed with a splat.

"For the journey."

Morrigan then walked away, passing out the rest of the skins she had left and I watched her walk away, wondering why I had acted as I just did.

No time to ponder though as everyone began gathering in a group around me.

Mabs came to me when I clapped for him and he walked by my side, excited for the expedition ahead.

Items packed onto our backs and in the sleigh, we were now ready to go.

"Lead the way, Levi."

Levi happily obliged and walked ahead of us, a cloth map unfolded in his hand.

Sten took first pull with the sleigh as he always did, he believed everyone else was too slow with it and we headed out, the sun just now touching the horizon.


	13. Chapter 13

The first few hours were uneventful and just plain tiring but Mabs did not lose his sense of adventure as he sniffed the air continuously and walked ahead of us a bit.

We stopped again to retreat from the sun's warming rays and hid in the shade of the trees beside us, drinking water to replace what we had sweat out all of these hours.

Alistair was badgering Levi about how much longer the trip was but Levi would not give him an exact answer, still consulting his handmade map.

Oghren was complaining about having pulled the sleigh long enough now and I told him I would take over from here and then he plunked himself down in the shade and proceeded to drink half the ale in his skin in one swig.

Everyone seemed to be sitting but Alistair and I and he walked over to me.

"Levi won't give me an answer as to how much longer it will be so I think he was lying when he told us half a day's travel."

"Alistair, we've only been traveling for about eight hours now so he has been right so far. Give him a break. That map he has does not look so easy to navigate. It looks like something he drew from memory."

Alistair sighed, aggravated by the heat.

"Fine, fine. But if we're not there within four hours, I'm going to ask him again."

"Just relax, Alistair. We will get there."

Alistair grumbled a bit then went off to invade the food pack in the sleigh as he always did at every stop.

Leliana was playing with Shmooples a few feet away from me and feeding him some berries that she was picking off a nearby vine. I wondered if they were safe to eat but then again, Leliana would never endanger her beloved pet so I was sure she had checked.

As I watched them play, my thoughts returned to just a night ago when Leliana had been in my arms and my body warmed even in the shade exploring further memories. Before Leliana or anyone else caught me fantasizing, I walked to the sleigh and hooked the rope around myself, getting ready to move once again.

"Would you like to partner up, Detra?"

Leliana speaking in front of me made me look up and I had no idea what her question meant.

"I'm sorry?"

"I asked if you would like to partner up so you don't have to pull that alone."

"Oh. Well I'm sure I can handle..."

"Just say yes, Detra. You know I will not take no for an answer."

Leliana smirked at me and tucked under the rope with me.

"Ok, but stop any time you like."

Leliana lifted Shmooples back into the sleigh where he had been nestled and we started moving again, the troops following behind us slowly.

Some of them moved ahead of us as they walked much faster than we pulled and Morrigan passed me on the right. She did not acknowledge me but kept walking, her gaze falling on the trees that were on our right. Something in her belt caught my eye and I looked harder.

It was the dagger that I had gifted her with the other night in camp.

She was actually wearing it.

After all the trouble she had caused with the simple opening of it, I would have thought she'd cast it aside. But there she was, wearing it in her belt.

A smile crept on my face as I thought Morrigan may have passed me intentionally, wanting to show me that she was wearing my gift. Then again, I may just have wished it to be so and there was the simple explanation of that she had to pass us because we moved slowly.

Shmooples was squeaking lightly in the sleigh, indicative of his enjoyment of the ride he was getting and I giggled.

Leliana questioned my sudden laughter.

"I just love when Shmooples squeaks like that. He is so adorable."

Leliana smiled and agreed with me.

"That's his little content noise but you should hear him snore. Not so adorable then."

I nodded, adding that Mabs' snoring was almost intolerable at times as well and I sometimes had to kick him out of my room at night when I had been at the Cousland Manor. Even now, sleeping outside, Mabs could still wake a couple of us with his deep grumblings. It amazed me that he did not wake himself up in the process but it always seemed as if the one who snored was immune.

Alistair had stopped in front of us and motioned for us all to do the same and gestured for us to listen. Sten moved to the side of him, silently drawing his sword.

All noises from our group ceased and we suddenly heard what Alistair had- deep, loud voices coming from a bit away. We listened further and they seemed to be violent and argumentative and I detached myself from the sleigh.

With as little noise as possible, I signaled for Zevran and Leliana and Alistair to come with me and signaled the rest to wait where we had stopped.

The four of us moved soundlessly through the woods and the voices got louder and angrier as we neared the source.

"Where is your gold, old man? Tell us or I'll let Mal here gut you!"

I gestured for my three companions to surround the camp that we came upon with three darkly dressed men, surely bandits, threatening a man already lying on the ground. Two of the men were harassing the man on the ground who appeared to be wounded and bleeding and the third man was busy destroying the camp looking for what I was sure to be the gold they were questioning him for.

My companions set off in their directions and suddenly I heard a twig snap and heard Alistair curse under his breath.

"Whut's that? Mal, Grem- get over here!"

There was an explosion of movement in the camp as we came through the trees at them and upon viewing their opposition, the bandits knew they were no match for us and took off running the other way.

Zevran and Leliana gave chase while Alistair ran to the wounded man with me.

He had several stab wounds as I looked upon him and my heart sank as I realized there was not much we could do for him. The damage was irreparable.

"Alistair, go help the others!"

I knew he could not stand the sight of blood and saw he was becoming queasy standing by my side so I sent him off.

The man's eyes suddenly opened as I looked down at him and I gasped, not expecting him to be conscious.

He was gasping for air and his eyes were terrified as he grabbed my shirt and pulled me closer.

"Kerath...You must... tell her..."

The man let go of my shirt and slowly sank back to the soil, the look of death nearing.

I grasped his hand in mine and whispered to him, hoping he was able to hear.

"Be at peace..."

And then he was dead.

To see so much death...I had had enough.

This man had not done anything wrong but chosen the wrong campsite and the bandits had taken full advantage of his mistake by taking his life and his belongings.

Or they had tried, succeeding in only taking one of the two.

I swallowed hard as I stared at the man whose life had just ebbed away in front of me and I closed his eyes with my hand, tribulation in my heart.

"Detra! Are you okay?"

Alistair had returned and walked up the bank of the river near me and I asked if he had found any stolen items on the bandit that he had chased.

"Oh, no, I actually didn't search him yet. I wanted to make sure everyone was all right."

I informed Alistair that Zevran and Leliana had not returned yet but that the man was now dead and he walked to us.

"Poor bastard. What are we going to do with him? Will you bury him?"

I honestly hadn't given that much thought yet as I was still staggered by the man's death but I nodded.

_Of course we would have to bury him_.

"Please see if that filth has any stolen items on him, Alistair. I need to find out who this man was. He mentioned a name and...Well, I want to see if I find anything in his things."

Alistair nodded and headed back down the embankment as I began searching the man for any type of identification. I found nothing but a few silvers and three stones that did not look to hold any significance.

I looked about the campsite and the only thing left that I felt would give me answers was his tent so I prepared myself to enter.

Zevran and Leliana returned through the brush and startled me as they informed me the other two bandits now lie dead and I asked about any belongings. Leliana and Zevran each showed me a bow and a sword they had claimed from the men but they had found nothing but gold and silver pieces in one's pocket- most likely stolen.

Zevran had removed two rings from one bandit as well but I had no interest in them and told him to do as he pleased with them. Leliana had come up with nothing but the gold already mentioned.

Leliana walked to the man's body and started reciting blessings from the Maker and I did not want to hear them so I made my way inside the tent, not enjoying the idea of having to rifle through the man's possessions to find out who he was and who this Kerath was.

There was not much in the way of belongings in the tent at all, save for a bedroll, an oil lamp and a small, crude wooden box with just a few items on it.

I walked closer and kneeled down in front of the box, picking up a single book and finding it to be this man's journal. I could only check the first few pages for a name as I felt I was invading his privacy and I found nothing.

I turned the box upside down and put the box and all of the items that had been on top of it in the box and a slip of vellum fell out at my feet. I looked after it and it was a piece folded over three times, as if a letter. I opened it up and it was a beautiful hand-drawn portrait of a woman, just her face and neck and she was smiling happily, staring off into the distance.

As I stared at it, I wondered who she might have been to him and I decided it must be his wife. I do not know how I knew, I just did.

_Maybe this was Kerath_?

I put what else I could find in his tent in this same box and walked back outside where Alistair was now standing over the man's body.

"Now what do we do? Are we going to bury him?"

"Of course we are, we cannot leave him out here to the elements."

The rest of our group had filtered in through the trees now and they surveyed the campsite with us.

Leliana joined me standing next to the man's body and asked what my plan was.

"I'll need our shovel."

Leliana nodded and told me that she would begin making a cross to mark his grave and I nodded, walking away from her to retrieve the shovel.

I was silent from that point on; I could not shake the remorse inside of me. The man, the look in his eyes, the wife he would now leave behind...it filled me with sorrow.

_It is given, yet so quickly taken away._

I brought the shovel to the camp and Alistair showed me to a spot he deemed acceptable for burial and I agreed with him.

Sten thundered through the trees towards us and we looked up as he arrived.

"Warden, why are you wasting even more time with this? We must get to and stop the Blight, nothing else matters right now."

"Sten, we are simply burying him. He cannot just be left as he is. Were it one of your brothers I believe you would take the time to do as I am. It will not take long."

"But you did not even know this man. Why waste even more time to do this meaningless task?"

My response attracted much attention and surprised even myself.

"Because it is not meaningless, Sten! Just because someone is unknown to you does not mean you should not honor their death. He was killed by bandits and from what I could tell, he was a good person. How can I just leave him here to be devoured by wild animals? Would you wish that on anyone?"

Sten just stared at me with his usual glare and Alistair touched my shoulder, attempting to calm me.

This made me realize I may have overstepped a boundary and shown more emotion than I ever should have in front of my companions. I needed simple words now, to calm the storm I may have incited.

"I am doing it because it is the right thing to do, Sten."

Sten's glare continued until he mumbled 'Darkspawn' and walked away from us.

I sent Alistair away while I dug, trying to clear my mind and I hummed a song that had been stuck in my head, a song that I had heard my mother sing on many an occasion and it helped me through my labor and kept the darkness in my mind to a minimum.

I gestured to Alistair to bring the man's body when I felt it was deep enough and Zevran and Alistair both carried him to his final resting place, placing him inside the dirt coffin.

Alistair touched my shoulder again before leaving with Zevran and I took the picture of the woman out of my pocket, opening it one last time, knowing how sad she would be for the loss.

_In case we can carry things over, she will be with you_.

I tucked the picture inside the man's vest and stood promptly, avoiding the threatening tears.

I did not look at the man further as I returned the dirt to its rightful place in the world and then placed Leliana's cross at the head of the grave before walking away.

My companions gathered around me as I emerged from the tree line into the camp.

I brushed the last of the soil from my hands and addressed them.

"All right, everyone. Just take what looks useful to us. This man will not need any of it where he is now."

There was not much but we took almost everything that we found, save for some broken dishes and rusty nails.

We packed the sleigh with our newly acquired items and I ordered everyone to move swiftly, having had my fill of this campsite and the memories seared into my mind.


	14. Chapter 14

I could not believe that we finally stood at the base of Soldier's Peak with Levi leading us up the snowy path. With all the travel and happenings, I never thought we would actually arrive.

I could not wait to explore the halls and see the hundred years worth of history that awaited us but first we would need to deal with the Peaks' current tenants.

No easy task.

The facts that Levi had shared with us a day ago bothered me. If the Peak was actually haunted, that meant magic and if we ran into too much at once, lives could be at stake as arcane shields and armor could only deflect so much. Not even considering if blood magic was involved. I would need to consult Morrigan for that.

We would figure it out when the time came but for now we needed to get up this hill.

It took three of us to move the sleigh up the hill but we worked together and mostly kept up with the rest of the group.

The snow that surrounded us chilled to the bone and I shivered, wishing my armor had been lined with some sort of fur in addition to the leather. This far up in the mountains brought the temperature way down so we were all shivering as we plodded through the snow behind Levi.

Shmooples had it the worst of us all I felt, having no body hair to speak of. He was still riding on the sleigh, now bundled in blankets courtesy of Leliana and I only saw the tip of his little pink nose poke from the blankets with intermittent puffs of breath appearing.

"The entrance is right up here. It's not far!"

Levi was so excited to get into the structure and find out about his grandmother's past that he actually tried to run in the snow, only succeeding in falling to his knees.

Zevran was close to him and he helped him up, joking with him about what a hurry he was in.

"Surely the fortress will not run away from you, Levi. Why the rush?"

Levi faced Zevran, his expression incredulous.

"You don't know how long I've waited to actually get here. This place has haunted my dreams for so long."

Zevran always knew just what to say.

"Well, we are here now so you can rest easy once we get inside. Provided we all do not die at the hands of the demons."

With that Zevran walked ahead of Levi who stopped in his tracks.

I shook my head and hoped Zevran was not actually trying to comfort the man as he had done the exact opposite.

"Don't worry, Levi. I am sure whatever we find inside will finally answer all of your questions."

Levi turned to me and his excited expression from earlier returned.

"Or I may just have a new set of questions, Warden."

Mabs continued bounding around in the snow and barking up a storm as this was the first time he had ever seen snow. He was thoroughly enjoying himself, kicking up clouds of white dust with his considerable paws.

We as a group continued our trudge up the hill and finally made it a short time later, Alistair and Sten huffing and puffing as they brought the sleigh to a halt on level ground.

Marveling at the sheer size of the fortress, I stood at the base of a sprawling set of stairs that led up to an ornate wooden door that would lead us inside of this fascinating structure should we choose to proceed.

It would take much manpower to get our sleigh up these snowy stairs so for now, we stashed it aside of them, out of sight from anyone who did not know it was there.

I was as eager as Levi was now and we both sprinted up the steps, oblivious to the ice underfoot.

We looked at one another then stared at the handles to the front door and we reached for them at the same time, pulling in unison and then frowning at the door.

It was locked.

_Of course._

_Who would leave the front door of such a place open?_

The rest of our party had arrived now and we all stood at the top of the stairs, all eyes on us at the door.

"Leliana, we could use your expertise here. The door is locked."

Leliana nodded and handed Shmooples off to Alistair, pulling out her tool kit and going to work.

Shmooples was watching Mabs flop around in the snow and struggled out of his blankets as Alistair tried to hold onto him, wanting to join his friend in the peculiar white stuff.

"Leliana, he's acting up. What do I do?"

Leliana was busy with the door so I took him from Alistair.

"He looks like he's ready to enjoy some snow for the first time too. Let's see how he does for a minute or so."

I put the wiggly little guy down and his small feet skittered on the landing but as he gained his footing, he dashed around just as Mabs did but of course almost disappeared in the snow due to his height.

Mabs was utterly delighted that his pal was joining him and was even more rambunctious than earlier, covering us with the snow that he was kicking into the air.

Morrigan told me to get control of my unruly animals as she did not want snow all over herself and her belongings and I agreed, apologizing and voicing commands to Mabs, calming him down.

"Be careful with Shmooples, Detra. He has no hair!"

"He's all right, Leliana. I just wanted him to get a taste of snow with Mabs."

To set Leliana's mind at ease, I scooped Shmooples back up in my arms, despite his slight protests and brushed most of the snow from his body. He was happy now as he'd gotten to play with his friend and been rescued just when he'd started getting chilly.

Less than a minute later, we heard a loud click and Leliana stood up, her task completed.

"That lock is so old I was afraid it might break before I could get it open."

Levi moved back to the door and almost had it open when I stopped him.

"Wait, we are not exactly sure what we will find on the other side so we should prepare."

My sword and shield were ready in my hands a moment later and the rest of the group stood ready with their weapons of choice as well.

Now we were ready.

"Go ahead, Levi. Open her up."

Levi pushed down hard on the handles and the door swung open with a loud, constant creak, years of dust and dirt clogging its hinges and moving parts.

Cautiously, we all peered inside as the daylight poured inside the first room of the Peak.

As the first room guests would see, it was unimpressive for such a fortress. Then again, it had withstood a hundred years of the elements and disuse so it was to be expected I suppose.

I could see dirt clinging to every surface that surrounded us and the red carpets that had once graced this room were no longer present, replaced by dingy and matted pieces of material that almost blended in with the stone floor.

"Leliana, you need to leave Shmooples here. There is no telling what may lie ahead for us."

Leliana nodded and walked to a box in the corner of the room, emptying its contents and placing Shmooples inside. She spoke several words to him and then returned to us, swords in hand.

I looked back at Shmooples in the box and he looked comfortable as ever, probably even having plans to nap as we headed into unknown danger.

_Lucky little guy._

I decided it would also be best to leave Mabs behind to watch over Shmooples, just in case and watched as Mabs curled up beside his little boxed friend and began cleaning the remnants of snow from his paws.

Alistair whistled.

"Wow...we are the first people to set foot in this place in, what, a hundred years or so?"

I shushed Alistair, fearing that if we were to face enemies ahead, he would alert them to our presence before we even got fully in the door.

"There is a dark manifestation here. I suggest we tread lightly. Warden. Or not at all is more preferable."

Morrigan's voice caught me off guard and I turned to her, the look she gave me confirming the truth in her words.

As we moved forward, I happened to hear Alistair mumble to himself.

"Oh sure, _I_ can't talk but the all important Morrigan can say whatever she wants and not get yelled at. _Sheesh_."

Alistair did not catch the look I gave him but was quiet from then on so we continued our advance.

Another smaller set of doors lay before us and those groaned in response to our entrance as the first had.

We found ourselves in a hallway, broken furniture littering the length of it.

It looked as if someone were trying to fortify a defensive position and...

_Could it be?_

_Were these the remnants of the Grey Wardens last stand with the King's army?_

I gasped slightly, remembering in vivid detail the story that Levi had told us around the fire just a night ago and here we were, among the actual proof.

I looked to Levi and he wore the same animation on his face as I did.

The hallway secure for now, I whispered a warning to all.

"Beware of traps, they could be anywhere. There was an extensive battle here and things were set up to keep people out so who knows what we may run into. Best to keep our eyes open."

There was a smaller room off the hallway which we discovered to be a small kitchen area and it was a complete mess, the floor and table littered with debris I could not even identify due to dirt covering every inch of it.

We moved on, headed towards a doorway to the left, already open and we stepped into another large room, complete with a fireplace and some piles of books in the middle of the floor.

Finding nothing more but the dust and moldy books, we forged ahead, discovering a small set of doors atop another set of stairs.

I gestured for everyone to stop and faced them, a plan formed in my head.

"I believe we should break off into two groups so that we may find this demon quickly and deal with it."

"If there _is_ only the one demon."

I looked at Morrigan and heeded her words.

"Do you think it may have summoned more?"

Morrigan shrugged.

"'Tis what I would have done."

I assembled two teams in my head on the spot and told Alistair, Wynne, Oghren and Zevran that next time the path split, we would head separate ways to cover more ground.

Each team needed a mage and a good lockpick and I had planned for both so we were set to continue.

I gestured for Sten to now open the door up the stairs while I poised for attack just aside of him should the need arise.

This door provided us a higher pitch squeak as it revealed what was behind it. There was nothing but what looked to be a small, wooden altar dotted with what appeared to be extremely old candle wax.

"We are close. The Demon is not far from here."

Morrigan's warning rang in my ears and I stepped ever more cautiously.

There were now two doors in this room and I gestured for the other group to take the door on the left, offering them whispered warnings and well wishes as we split up.

Morrigan, Leliana, Sten, Levi and I headed to the right door and Sten and I repeated our earlier moves while opening this door.

Nothing but more of the same dirt and dust as the other rooms for the next three doors we passed through. I was beginning to doubt Levi's claims as we'd seen no evidence of magic here. And Morrigan's warning did not seem to ring true either.

The next door we came upon opened much quieter than the others and this caught me off guard.

_Perhaps it had been used recently?_

_But by whom?_

An evil, cracked voice reached my ears as we moved inside the room and I saw an armored figure behind a desk, the only furniture in the entire room, facing the wall.

"Warden, This One has been waiting for one of you to finally return."

This wicked presence suddenly filled the room and we halted all movement as it turned to face us.

"Here is your demon, Warden."

Morrigan told us what we had already figured out and a loud gasp escaped from Levi aside of me. I pushed him behind me to shield him from harm.

"Grandmother?"

Levi moved to my side, his hand over his mouth.

"What? This..._thing_ is your grandmother?"

"Well...Well, I think it might have been at one point, but now..."

Levi was horrified at the sight before us and looked unsteady on his feet, perhaps about to pass out. I suddenly wished I had sent him with the other group.

"This thing is human no longer. 'Tis possessed by the demon that I spoke of. A Wraith."

The thing before us laid its eyes on Morrigan and gave us a vile chuckle.

"Ah, another mage, have we? Splendid. You are exactly what This One needs."

I took a protective stance ahead of my companions, not liking what I was hearing from this demon.

"What you..._need?_"

"Yes. This one would strike a deal with you, Warden."

The words that it spoke, the way it spoke... Everything but the sound of its voice sounded human and even high class. I could not believe my eyes even as I watched it happen.

"Do not speak with such a creature, Warden. 'Tis most unwise as it will speak only in riddles and lies."

The possessed hunk of flesh before us suddenly ruptured with a loud booming noise of a voice.

"Your underling should mind its place, Warden. Meek, subservient and quiet."

Morrigan returned with her own retort and an offended snort and laugh.

"'Tis nothing left worth speaking to in this mass of flesh, Warden. Let us kill it and be done with it."

"Oh yes, please do try. This One has seen no battle for such a long time and would enjoy feeling the warmth of blood on This One's hands again."

I could see pleasure in this demon's eyes as those words were spoken and I had now witnessed demonic evil first hand and it chilled me to the bone.

But I had a plan.

"What is it that you seek, demon?"

What could have passed for a smile maybe fifty years ago covered the face of the possessed flesh before us and the demon continued its earlier rant.

"This One will answer your question, Warden. This One has been unable to move from this place, bound by a mage from so long ago. This One must have blood magic to be free of this prison."

"So what is this deal you speak of?"

"This One would offer you this bastion in trade for This One's release. This One sees many pictures and many places in this Dryden's memories and would travel to those places. Taste those things This One sees."

"So if I release you with blood magic, you would leave willingly and never return?"

"This One would. This One has been locked inside these walls for many years and longs for something different and new. This One cannot kill where none are present."

Leliana's voice chimed in, alarmed.

"Detra, surel..."

"_Quiet!_"

I did not let Leliana even finish her second word in as I held my hand out in gesture, my voice emphatic with disapproval.

The demon before us laughed in accordance with my outburst with its twisted voice and I continued.

"What of your companion spirits? Would they leave as well?"

"This One is unable to sustain their presence in this plane of existence any longer. There are no more of This One's kind here."

I nodded, finding my opening to strike and strike quickly we did.

"Then we need not dally with you, Demon. You shall die as you should have so many years ago."

Before the demon could react to my words, Morrigan lit up the room with a fireball spell and knocked the possessed Dryden back into the wall as well as ablaze.

Leliana and I ran towards the demon right after I pushed Levi out the doorway, out of harms way, and our swords met with strong resistance as we were pushed back.

"This One does not like the tricks the Warden plays! This One shall have your head!"

Swords met in mid-air and made the familiar grinding and clanking noises as the battle waged for control of the Peak. The Wraith may have been alone but it was also still a force to be reckoned with.

Luckily for us, the armor that the demon wore had broken down over the hundred years it spent in the Peak and we were able to chip through it in certain areas, weakening its integrity.

Sten worked his way behind the Dryden thing and tried his best to back stab but kept getting knocked backwards by its magic.

Morrigan was almost completing a spell when the Dryden thing lashed out with shield and sword, slashing Morrigan and then knocking her to the ground then coming after me.

"Morrigan!"

My concern for my comrade led me to be shield bashed and slashed at the shoulder but I was not deterred and returned the favor, launching my own attack.

Leliana got too close and was also knocked to the floor and I moved harder and faster against this Dryden thing. We needed to defeat it before real damage was done.

_Who knows what unpleasant magic this thing could unleash on us at any moment!_

Morrigan was on her feet again and Sten managed to break through the Dryden thing's armor from behind and stagger it, just long enough for me to charge an opening and be repelled by the shield once more.

Another attack in my head, I closed the gap between us again and then saw two arrows root themselves one after the other within the Dryden thing's skull as I moved forward.

We all froze in place as we watched the demon-inhabited body slump to the floor, dead.

I looked behind me just in time to see Leliana lower her bow and I smiled warmly, thankful that the battle was now over.

"You and that bow..Always just in the nick of time."

Leliana returned a modest smile and tucked her bow onto her back as I looked to Morrigan, moving to her.

"Are you all right?"

I saw blood on her arm and I felt nervous and scared.

"I am fine, Warden. 'Tis only a flesh wound."

Morrigan disregarded my concern as expected and instead looked to my wound as she allowed me to help her up.

"What of yours? 'Tis blood here."

Morrigan drew attention to my shoulder and Leliana voiced her concern as she joined us.

I allowed Morrigan to touch and inspect my shoulder wound and she told me it was also a surface wound.

I caught Leliana's arm as the others moved to inspect the dead demon.

"Leliana, earlier...when I yelled at you..."

Leliana smiled.

"Don't worry, Detra. I knew you had a plan."

I nodded back at her and smiled.

"Great job, all. We took this thing down quicker than I imagined we could. And thankfully it did not bring any friends with it."

I looked down at the dead Dryden thing and was sickened by what I saw.

This body had been dead years and years ago yet its dweller had refused to give up its rights and worn the body much longer than it should have.

Bruised and rotting flesh clung to disintegrating bones and I could only imagine what a horrific experience it had been for the real Sophia Dryden. Years of being trapped within her own body, controlled by this entity who had taken it by force on that fateful day.

Levi stepped back into the room now that the carnage was over and he slowly approached what was left of and what appeared to be his grandmother.

I gestured to the others to give him some alone time with what was once his grandmother and they followed me out of the room.

"So that is it? We have won the battle?"

Sten questioned the ease of our victory and I had to agree with him.

"Morrigan, do you sense any more magic at work or are we truly alone now?"

Morrigan brushed herself off and answered me.

"The Veil is not torn as I thought 'twould be, 'tis strange. The demon must have long lost most of its power to time. I am surprised it gave us such difficulty in fact."

We rested a few moments to recover and then we set off as a group to locate the others and tell them the good news.

* * *

Luckily, they were not so far from where we had split up and they were relieved with our news of swift victory.

Alistair came to me for all the details but I sent him to Sten, wanting to get our first aid kit and tend to Morrigan's wounds.

Leliana stopped me in the doorway and insisted that I take a seat and wait for her to come back with the kit to take care of my wound.

"No, really. I am fine, Leliana."

Leliana pointed to the chair, wearing a stern look on her face and did not move from my path.

"Sit. I will be back shortly."

Not fancying an argument, I sat as Leliana turned and retraced our previous footsteps through the fortress.

Morrigan had moved off by herself as she always did and I saw her investigating the wound on her arm.

I stood up and walked to her as I could see she was having difficulty due to the location and angle of the wound on her arm.

Morrigan saw me approach and immediately dropped her arm to avoid unwanted attention I would suppose.

"Let me take a look at it, Morrigan."

"'Tis fine, Warden. I have told you once already."

"Well if it were fine you would not be looking at it, no?"

Morrigan avoided my eyes but allowed me to guide her into a chair and then inspect her wound, my hands softly and carefully touching her arm.

"It is not that deep but it should be cleaned. Leliana has set off to get our first aid kit so when she returns..."

"Warden, 'tis fine. I shall heal as soon as my mana returns and it will be there no longer."

My hand around Morrigan's arm, I found I did not want to let go.

"Are...are you sure? I could..."

"While I recognize your concern, Warden, I shall be fine. I am sure you have other things to attend to."

It was obvious Morrigan had grown weary of my presence already so I obliged her and moved off, back to the chair Leliana had assigned me to moments earlier.

Leliana returned soon after and inspected my shoulder, cleaning and then dressing the wound, telling me that it would heal in short order. Leliana packed up the first aid kit and went to check on the others and Morrigan approached me from behind. As I became aware of her presence, I went to turn around but Morrigan's hand on my shoulder stopped me and I felt the heat of magic on the wound on my shoulder.

"Morrigan, what are..."

Before I could finish my sentence, Morrigan was done and she moved away from me towards the doorway, not saying a word in response.

My wound was gone.

_Why had she just used her mana to heal my wound instead of her own?_

_Strange_.

* * *

Alistair had everyone he could discussing the short fight and seemed incredibly distressed that he had not been present with the demon. Honestly I do not think he could have handled seeing what had become of Sophia Dryden and I felt he had been in the correct group.

"So what now, Detra? Should we move on to Denerim now?"

I shook my head.

"After all of this work? Absolutely not! We shall stay here a day or two and explore this massive structure. I am ready to see what the Peak has provided shelter for all of these years."

Leliana looked around, nodding.

"I agree. We should explore further, find out the history of this place. I for one am very excited."

Leliana and I shared a smile and then I stood up, ready to move on to the next step.

I stood up on a chair so all could see and hear me and informed my group that we would be spending the night, or possibly two or three here at the Peak.

"Thank you all so much for coming with me to fulfill this dream for the Grey Wardens. The Peak now belongs to us once again and I believe it is time to finally start unlocking its secrets."


	15. Chapter 15

"Why are there hardly any spider webs?"

Leliana coughed as she dislodged a cloud of dust from a wooden box she was moving and she tried to wave it away with her hand, just spreading it around even more.

Surveying the open room before us, I shrugged, guessing.

"Spiders cannot survive such cold temperatures it seems. Less cleaning for us so you should be happy! I am very interested in what secrets this place holds. I want to look around as soon as I can before we have to head back to Denerim."

Leliana smiled and stepped over another pile of books on the floor and I continued.

"All right but we need to get some of the bedrooms situated so that when we would like to sleep, we simply can. We do not want to be cleaning off a bed at midnight when we should be in it."

"Agreed. And Wynne told me she would go down into the basement with me, since the lock needs picking anyway. I hope it's not in the same condition as the front door and we can get through it."

"I'm sure it will be fine. You always know what you're doing with those locks."

I smiled at Leliana, expressing my vote of confidence in her.

"Let me know what you two find, all right? I think I shall check the library for now unless something else comes up."

"I will let you know and I am very excited as to what we will find. There must be so much history in this place! I just got chills thinking about it."

I smiled again at Leliana. She was precious when she was excited about something and she positively glowed.

Leliana noticed my stare and walked over to me as I sifted through boxes in the middle of the room, not finding anything of interest.

"It will be wonderful to spend the night in a bed again versus feeling tree roots in my back."

I continued smiling, not minding the fact that she was moving closer to me the whole time.

"I know what you mean. I love the outdoors but sometimes enough is enough."

"What I meant to say was..."

Leliana's arms curved around my waist as she moved closer.

"...it will be wonderful to spend the night in a bed with _you._"

Our lips had barely touched when Wynne entered the room.

"Are you ready to go now, Leliana? I am really looking forward to what we will find behind that locked door."

Leliana and I parted and eyed the floor sheepishly but Wynne was not deterred in the slightest. And if she had seen our embrace, she did not react as if she had.

"Yes, Wynne, I am set to go. I cannot wait to see what is down there as well."

I thought about the two of them down there in the dark and had an idea.

"Listen you two. I want you to take Mabs with you just in case there might be...I don't know... critters down there. We have no idea what is living down there but we do not need any rabid animals in our midst nor do I want either of you getting hurt. Mabs will hear and smell danger long before it gets near you at least, allowing you to escape if need be."

Leliana and Wynne looked at each other and nodded, agreeing and telling me they actually felt better having Mabs come along.

"Now just let me find him for you."

Wynne told me that she had just seen Mabs and Shmooples racing down the hall. It was again playtime for them.

I stepped out into the hall with Leliana and Wynne not far behind and I heard the click of nails on stone as Mabs suddenly bolted past me, Shmooples in tow.

I laughed, watching the two of them play. Mabs stopped short to turn and challenge Shmooples and he in turn squeaked and attempted to jump on Mabs' head causing Mabs to run off again. I let them continue for a few minutes then clapped my hands for Mabs so that he could join Wynne and Leliana's expedition.

"You take care of them okay, boy? Make sure nothing happens down there."

Mabs panted eagerly and followed us to the door and I left Wynne and Leliana to their task, wishing them luck and then heading to the library myself.

Shmooples looked lost for a moment after Mabs had gone but then I saw him decide on a nap as he headed to his makeshift bed that Leliana had set up for him and settle into it. Leliana had been correct when she said he did love to sleep.

Sten and Alistair were on cleanup duty, removing unusable debris from the bedrooms we would use and bringing it out into the courtyard to burn later on. They walked past me and greeted me with a large pile of broken wood held between them.

"Zevran was looking for you, Detra. Something to do with him and Oghren going hunting I think."

I questioned Alistair.

"Did they need me to go with them?"

"I don't know but Zevran was just in that room over there. It's the kitchen I think."

Alistair nodded his head in the direction I was needed as his hands were not free and I thanked him as I headed there.

"Ah, Warden, I was just about to set out after you."

"Hello, Zevran. Alistair told me that you were looking for me."

"Indeed I was."

"You and Oghren are going hunting? Do you need a third?"

"Actually, this is more about this room right here. If Oghren and I are successful in our hunt, we shall return with much meat but this kitchen is a complete disaster."

We walked into the cluttered adjoining room and Zevran pointed to a table layered with thick dust and who knows what else.

"I can use the table to clean the carcasses in this room and then we could use this table out near the fireplace to eat at. Also, the fireplace is in shambles and it will need to be cleaned out."

Zevran gave me a look that instantly conveyed to me that he was appointing me with this assignment and should I chose to accept, I would need to start immediately.

I looked around and sensed that I would be in this area for a few hours at least, making it suitable for use.

"Is this too much, Detra? I know that you are used to having others serve you so if you would prefer, I could stay and you could go with Oghren to hunt. It is up to you."

"Don't be silly, Zevran. I am hardly a stranger to heavy labor. You and Oghren go and good hunting."

"All right then. We will return soon."

Zevran walked from the room, leaving me to look upon the disaster that lay in front of me.

I decided to clean out the useless, broken and unidentifiable debris first and soon joined Alistair and Sten on their walks down the hallway, my arms full of it.

Alistair offered help as we walked back inside the front door.

"We're almost done if you want us to give you a hand, Detra."

"Thank you, but if you both want to explore or do something else, please feel free. You have done enough for the day."

"Well, we could use a rest as we've been..."

I did not let Alistair finish.

"Then by all means, please rest up, the both of you. But thank you for the offer. It is appreciated."

They both nodded and I headed back into the kitchen to struggle through the task ahead.

* * *

Two hours later found a much cleaner kitchen and me still on my hands and knees, shoveling debris out of a corner of the fireplace. It seemed almost ready to use.

I stood up and bent backwards, stretching my back out and groaning.

_It seems I am more of a stranger to heavy labor than I thought._

The kitchen was very presentable now but I still wanted to clean the floor a bit more.

I found a bucket and an old shingle to pick up the piles of dust that I swept up with a decrepit but still viable broom and soon you could see the stone floor for what it was.

It felt good to be doing something homey for a change and to have an actual kitchen and a door to your room that closed to look forward to later on was a good incentive for me.

Privacy was the best perk that the Peak could offer right now. Shelter was second.

My work in the kitchen complete, I headed down the hallway after appreciating the view of the spotless kitchen I could already picture my companions occupying, drinking their heads off and celebrating as I knew they loved to.

I heard noise in what I recalled as the library and I walked in to find Morrigan quietly sifting through volumes with some scrolls set before her.

"Have you found anything interesting?"

Morrigan looked up at me and pondered my question.

"Interesting? What exactly do you mean by that? I think everything that I have here is interesting."

"Useful would be a better word I suppose?"

"'Tis all useful as well, Warden. Would you like to try a third word?"

Morrigan's vexation had already begun once again and I had to ignore it as I found I was not in a mood to be able to deal with it.

"No."

I walked around a bookshelf and took in the dusty remnants of what was left of the library.

You could hardly read any of the book spines due to age and dirt so it looked like we would have to manually remove each volume to find what it was and it looked like exactly what Morrigan had been doing.

I figured I would help so I piled three books in my arms and walked to the table where Morrigan was, placing them down upon the others. I received a cluck and an exasperated Morrigan in return.

"Not here, Warden! These are already sorted. Put them back where you found them. I do not need any help."

I shook my head and returned on the path I had just taken, replacing the books and knowing that I should leave the room now.

Morrigan was not done with me and I heard her voice from around the bookshelves.

"Why do you not find your sweet little bard and see if she needs help? She is always getting herself into some mischief to be rescued from it seems."

I sighed, knowing from experience that this was not a mood of Morrigan's that I wanted to be around so I quietly made my way towards the door.

"So you and Leliana have bought rings for each other, then?"

_Rings?_

_She must refer to the one Alistair gave me._

I did not feel like correcting her and I sighed again, having no idea where this line of questioning was going other than downhill but I found myself turning around anyways.

"Morrigan...why do you care what Leliana and I do?"

"I simply find it... disturbing to watch you both fawn over each other as we certainly have more important things to do. Or has that changed now?"

I smirked as a thought crossing my mind.

_Was she jealous?_

"Then do not watch, Morrigan."

Morrigan shot me an angry look.

"Perhaps I shall stop watching you both and leave from where I am not wanted."

My emotions got the better of me.

"Oh stop it. Why can you not be peaceful for once, Morrigan? Why must you always fight with everyone?"

"Be something different from what I am, Warden? You of all people should know that we cannot change who we are."

"Maybe not, but we can be more accepting of others."

"Or you can try and simply fail. Only a fool tries to impress others."

Morrigan tittered and moved back to her pile of books and it was clear to me that she had no intention of doing so and was finished with me. Cast aside after she had had her laughs.

I was angry now.

She had started this conversation and now she was satisfied just to drop it where it lay when she became uncomfortable with its direction.

"Yes, yes of course. Go back to your books and act like I'm not here. Excellent idea, Morrigan, but I will make it even easier for you and simply leave."

First grabbing a book of interest from Morrigan's pile and hoping it was an important one as I knew it would aggravate her, I then walked towards the door, not looking back once.


	16. Chapter 16

"This lock is giving me trouble. It's so old I am afraid to break it,"

Leliana was still on her knees before the locked cellar door, Wynne behind her.

"Is there something that I can do to help, Leliana? Would magic help?"

"Let me just..."

Leliana jabbed her tool into the lock and for a moment they heard a click followed by a deadening clunk.

"Oh my. That didn't sound good,"

Wynne announced what Leliana already knew; the lock had broken.

Leliana pursed her lips. No lock ever got the best of her. If only she...

Something caught her eye.

"Sten! Do you have a moment?"

Sten was walking down the hallway towards them and Leliana waved for him to join them and he continued until he reached them.

"What is it?"

"Sten, do you think you could help us with this door? The lock is so old that I've broken it while trying to pick it. I was hoping..."

Sten came over and knocked on the door, observing it.

"There is no way that we can break this door down, it is teak wood. Even burning it presents a problem and I do not recommend that,"

"What I was hoping is that you could use your strength to force this lock. I think all it needs is some persuasion,"

Sten acquiesced after a moment and grabbed hold of the door handle, pushing down for all he was worth. When that yielded no results, he jabbed his sword within the lock and pushed his sword down, telling the two women to move away.

There was a loud pop and a clang and Sten moved backwards as the lock mechanism flew out onto the floor and the door handle fell out of the door.

"Excellent! Thank you so much, Sten!"

Leliana was thrilled the door was open and she and Wynne gathered their supplies and Mabs. They lit their lanterns and began descending the stairs, making haste as they'd lost much time already.

It was completely pitch dark down here and even the oil lanterns they used turned up fully did not light the basement adequately.

"Is this lighting going to be safe, Leliana? I feel that I might fall down the stairs at any moment,"

Leliana was having the same thoughts.

"Maybe we should go back and light some torches. These lanterns are good for rooms but...It is really dark down here,"

Wynne and Leliana made their way back up the stairs to grab some of the torches from our sleigh outside, furthering delaying their exploration.

Shmooples jumped out of his little bed the moment he saw Mabs and they greeted each other as always, touching noses.

"No, no sweetie. We have to get something outside and then we're leaving again,"

Leliana left Wynne, Mabs and Shmooples and returned to the sleigh, grabbing five torches, hoping that would suffice.

Leliana returned to the group and found them all snacking on dried fruit, awaiting her return.

"Hopefully five torches will light our path. I am pretty sure that I saw torch holders on the wall along the stairs,"

"Yes I saw them as well. Well let us waste no more time. There must be valuable items behind such a difficult door and I would like to see them,"

The trio headed back down to the cellar, the lit torches illuminating the dark before them.

"These are much better,"

Wynne tucked a couple of the torches in the stairway holders, one at the middle and then one at the bottom when they arrived.

Mabs set about sniffing immediately but Leliana did not sense he had found anything just yet. There must have been so many scent trails down here at one point but all must have faded.

Suddenly there was a slight rustling noise and Mabs darted towards it, sniffing away.

"What is it, boy?"

Leliana waved her torch in that same direction and saw a mass of moving black.

"Oh, it's just rats,"

Leliana stopped Mabs from following them for playtime as they were dirty and he needn't touch them. Rats carried diseases and were best left alone.

"For such a large fortress, this basement is very inadequate. Perhaps this is a just a vault of some kind?"

Leliana was inclined to agree with Wynne. Dirt floor, door like a stone wall, a difficult lock. Yes, it was all pointing more towards a vault than simple storage.

"I think you are right, Wynne. I think this was built after the fortress was already here. The stairs are very crude, not befitting of a fortress of this stature and the dirt floor is very unusual as well,"

Leliana's torch caught a glint from ahead of them, off to the side a bit and she moved forward.

"Oh my. Wynne, I think you were right,"

Wynne moved forward towards Leliana.

"Was I? How do you..."

Wynne's voice trailed off as her eyes settled on what had attracted Leliana's attention in the first place.

The wall was lined with four shelf units and all of them were populated by what appeared to be solid gold statues, mirrors, candle holders and more of the like.

"Dear Maker..."

Wynne trailed off again for a moment.

"I haven't the slightest idea what all of this might be worth,"

Leliana moved closer and was suddenly back in time by at least three years, stealing into a certain noble's house and absconding with items similar to what stood before her. From her experience, Leliana knew exactly how much worth they were talking and it was a _lot_.

Leliana couldn't take her eyes off the gold on the shelves, still lost in her memories until Wynne pulled her in a different direction.

"There are some chests over here too, Leliana,"

The trio moved closer and saw there were three locked chests against the wall to the left of the shelf units. Leliana went to work on them and was done within minutes. It was obvious that the Peak's inhabitants did not believe any thief would get past that door as the chest locks were very weak protection.

Wynne and Leliana looked at each other before Leliana swung the first of the three chests open and their torches revealed it to be overflowing with silver pieces. Leliana continued the same action with the other two and the two of them stood back, their mouths open.

The other two chests each held currency as well; one was gold and the other copper. This must be the Peak's treasury and what they would have used on every day needs and so forth.

"This will absolutely help the Wardens rebuild their order. This is..._amazing,_"

Wynne was in awe of their discovery and Leliana knew that she had never been around this much treasure in her life and probably had no idea of its real worth either.

As Wynne talked of the Grey Wardens revival, Leliana moved forward to one of the shelves again as a metal box had caught her eye. This box had no lock on it and creaked just a bit when Leliana opened it. What she found inside was better than anything else they'd found, in her opinion.

The box was packed full of necklaces and rings of all different metals, but mostly silver and gold.

Leliana's eyes twinkled as her hand grazed across some of the pieces, enjoying even the feel of them.

"Found your weakness, did you?"

Wynne was now beside Leliana and was observing her intimate moment with the jewelry.

Leliana snapped her hand back, surprised she hadn't known Wynne was there.

"Yes, jewelry is one of my passions and it's not often you find a cache of this size,"

"You could bring them upstairs if you like. The light is much better up there,"

Leliana moved forward towards the box again, her eyes caressing the necklaces again.

"I don't think that's a good idea. I feel they would be safer left down here. I would however like to bring some pieces upstairs to show Detra though, as an example of what we've found,"

"I think that's a fine idea, that way she doesn't have to endure coming down here if she needn't. Oh, those rats... there are just so many of them,"

Leliana unfolded a cloth from her pack and placed one of each currency piece, one very expensive looking necklace from the box and the necklace that had caught her attention from the moment she'd opened the box.

"There. That should be enough,"

"What about these items on the shelf? Maybe bring one of the smaller..."

"No, I wouldn't feel right bringing something so valuable out of here. It might attract a lot of attention. We can describe those items to her, but these are much easier to transport without being seen so obviously,"

Leliana closed up the cloth and called to Mabs who was near the corner, still trying to get a look at the little herd of rats who had gathered there to get away from the intruders in their home.

"That's it for the cellar then, I suppose. I was hoping for more scrolls or books and history type treasure but I gather the cellar would not be a prudent choice for storage,"

"Right. It's too damp down here, things would be ruined. The library must hold all of those items, Wynne,"

"I think I shall head there then if we are finished here,"

Leliana nodded.

"Yes we're done here. Come on, Mabs,"

Leliana tucked the cloth inside of her pocket and remembered something from earlier.

"I'm sure I saw Morrigan in the library when we were on our way here so at least you'll have some company,"

Leliana noticed Wynne twitch a bit and nodded to herself. At least she was not the only one to think twice about being in Morrigan's presence.

"Tell Detra I will be in the library if you would be so kind, Leliana. And let me know if she might need me for anything otherwise,"

Leliana agreed and wished Wynne luck in finding what she sought and then headed to the room that I had selected as my own to show me what all that trouble they'd gone to had rewarded them.


	17. Chapter 17

_I have never seen so much dirt in my life in one place._

I shook my head in disbelief as I brought another full bucket of muck from the floors of our bedrooms out to the front stairs and dumped it over the side.

I had cleaned all of the rooms we would sleep in, shaking what dust I could from the bed sheets and cleaning what surfaces I could. Now it actually resembled the fortress it might have been at one time, at least in the areas that had been taken care of so far.

When we had first walked into the Peak, the hallways had been littered with debris, bones, and other things best removed but that was all gone now. We as a team had made the Peak habitable, at least for our short stay and I was proud of us.

"That is it. I am through."

I spoke out loud as if convincing myself to quit cleaning and it worked. I retired my broom, bucket and rags to the corner of the hallway, wiping sweat from my brow with the one clean spot on my arm.

I was a complete and utter mess as I looked down at myself and I needed to get into a bath before I encountered anyone else. I was always neat and clean and for others to see me in this disheveled state would not do. Especially with my standing as their leader.

I headed back to my own room and took a look at the fireplace. Good, the usual hooks were there, the same ones that we'd had at the Cousland Estate. I had found the steel tub that would attach to those hooks and cleaned it out a bit but I needed water to clean it out fully. There was clearly no running water at the Peak and hadn't been for years so I was now at a loss as to what I would use for this bath I so desperately needed.

_Of course. The snow outside!_

I hefted the bucket over my back and headed outside to the front, not coming across any of my friends.

_I wonder what Leliana and Wynne are finding in the basement._

_Hopefully enough treasure to be able to turn this Peak back into what it once was._

_I will be able to contribute some gold to it's rebuilding, but I will not sink all of my wealth into it._

I walked down the stairs yet again and dug the bucket into a large snow drift, pushing it down into it and then pushing it back out, snow now within it. I grabbed more armfuls of snow and dropped them into the bucket as well. I certainly did not want to make this trip twice and filled it as much as possible.

Bucket now filled, I was not entirely sure as to how I could get this back to my room on my own but I was going to try my best. Struggling with the weight, I sighed and thought I might just have to make more than one trip.

I heard crunching in the snow beside me and saw Morrigan standing next to the other end of the bucket and she curved her hand around the other handle, looking at me.

At the end of the snow bank, I stood and smiled. I never expected Morrigan to help me with such a menial task but here she was.

"If this is your way of apologizing then I accept."

Morrigan gave me her squinty-eyed stare and smirked.

"Let us get on with it then. Why must you always talk so much?"

Nothing was different but at least I had the help I required.

I said nothing more and we trudged up the stairs with the tub in tow and we were panting by the time we reached my room.

"I do hope this will fill that tub. I have no intention of making that trip again."

"Perhaps you could just...magically make some more water appear?"

Morrigan glared at me.

"It does not work like that, Warden. You of all people should know that by now. But if you would like electricity in your bath, I would be happy to oblige."

I shook my head and declined Morrigan's generous offer and turned back to the fireplace, watching the fire slowly melt the snow into the water that would provide my tired and dirty self some relief.

Morrigan walked away from me to the window where she commented on the view.

"'Tis a shame really that so many people lost their lives in this place, though it is understandable that they did not give up. And this view is impressive, the mountains... I have never seen such in the Wilds."

I turned to Morrigan and walked to her, smiling about her comment.

Both of the views before me were breathtaking and the snow coating the mountains outside the window that peaked all around us like a fluffy blanket was almost like a dream.

A cold dream that I wanted no part of right now.

"It's true, no one should have died here. But that is what comes of outlawed magic use."

Morrigan turned to me, one eyebrow up.

"Do you really think it to be as simple as that, Warden?"

"Forbidden magics are just that for good reason."

"You only believe such as you do not partake in the practice of magic, Warden. Otherwise your view would be a different one."

I knew better than to get into a debate with Morrigan about magic so I did not answer her but went back to check on the water.

"Avoiding the subject, are you?"

Morrigan knew I refused to answer but followed me, questioning why.

I laughed.

"I know better than to get into this argument with a mage, Morrigan. Particularly you."

"Oh? Why is that? Do you fear I will use my magic if you disagree?"

"No, but I do not like to lose arguments."

I smiled and laughed again and swore I saw a smile on Morrigan's face before she turned away.

The water was finally warm within the bucket and we lifted it out and managed to get most of it inside the tub, only spilling a bit. I was actually surprised Morrigan had not left after we'd arrived in my room. I had not expected her to stay and help again.

Morrigan walked out of the door without a word after that so I figured that she must be angry that I would not participate in her argument.

That or she was simply done with me. She tended to get what she needed and then disappear on people, though I am not sure what she would have gotten out of this. I would thank her later for her help as I had no intention of letting this water cool down at all.

I closed the door in the wake of her retreat and hurriedly removed my clothing, knowing the water was cooling with every second gone by. The water was so warm and relaxing and I heard myself sigh out loud and I dunked beneath to get my hair under control.

After I resurfaced and wiped the water from my eyes, Morrigan was there beside the tub and I jumped a bit, never expecting to see her.

"Morrigan? What are you..."

"I was simply getting my things for the bath."

_Her things for the bath?_

"Oh, you are having a bath as well? You should have let me know. I would have helped you."

Morrigan rolled her eyes.

"Did you really think that I helped with this water because of guilt? I intend to make use of it as well, Warden. I am not about to go through this difficulty twice."

Morrigan heeded the look on my face and added a footnote.

"With your permission of course."

I was speechless for a moment as I pictured Morrigan out of her clothes and in the tub alongside me.

Thankfully I snapped out of my daze quickly.

"If you wish, Morrigan. I believe there is room enough in here."

"There is plenty of room. How is the temperature?"

"Fairly warm but cooling rapidly. The Peak is quite chilly and it does not help that the stone is cold as well."

Morrigan placed her arm into the tub and I tried to remember that her being near me was normal when suddenly the water's temperature got much warmer.

"I thought you said your magic was worn out for today?"

"I am never worn out, Warden. I simply needed a rest."

Morrigan was of course happy to have her way and I closed my eyes again, avoiding the undressing that Morrigan had begun. She was certainly not shy about it. She knew that she was beautiful, as was every other part of her I found, peeking a bit.

_Oh my._

_Maybe this is not such a good idea._

I spotted Morrigan place her towel on the side of the tub and realized that I had been so intent on getting into the water that I had not even brought a towel over to use. I would just have to wait until Morrigan left the room to get my own from the pack on the bed.

In a moment I felt Morrigan step into the tub over me and heard her settle down across from me, sighing as she felt the warmth and water welcome her. This tub was certainly smaller than I had thought it was and I felt Morrigan's leg against mine.

I kept my eyes high as I did not need to be distracted by what I could clearly see through the water beside me should my eyes chose to wander so.

Which they did choose to do several times.

The only sounds in the next few minutes came from our slight movements under the water as we did not speak. I was strangely nervous and was not sure why.

Morrigan broke the silence a few minutes later and I was surprised she had any words for me that I had not asked for.

"I hope that the Darkspawn do not find this fortress before we are able to leave."

I answered swiftly, having had the same thought already much earlier today.

"I doubt they will travel so far from their path to Denerim. We might get some loose bands of Darkspawn, but nothing we cannot handle."

I saw Morrigan shudder.

"The Darkspawn are such horrid creatures. The worst about them is that they have no soul within. That is terrifying in itself."

"To have a soul and do the things that Darkspawn do... Well, maybe they would not be evil if they did have a soul."

Morrigan sniffed.

"It is not the soul that makes a man evil, but the choices that he makes. So many are quick to blame others or their circumstances when it is only themselves they have to blame."

I nodded and then I suddenly giggled and Morrigan looked at me.

"What is so funny?"

"I just...I cannot believe you and I are actually having a conversation."

Morrigan looked surprised by my comment and as if she could not believe it either.

"You are less annoying than the others is all. I was simply speaking my thoughts. If you would prefer, I will remain silent."

I shook my head.

"Why would you say that? I do not prefer you silent. I actually prefer your thoughts sometimes. I like the way that you speak your mind and offer the truth as you see it instead of what you think I would like to hear. I know the others get annoyed with you easily but I know what drives you and it is fine with me."

This comment was of great interest to Morrigan.

"Oh? And what is it that you think drives me?"

I shrugged as I answered Morrigan.

"Pleasure and getting what you want."

Morrigan looked shocked for a moment then tried to hide the emotion.

"I believe everyone is driven by those things, Warden."

"But some of us more than others, no?"

Morrigan regarded me with careful eyes and I smiled.

"Is it so strange to find someone who understands you?"

Morrigan began going through my soaps that were in the basket at the edge of the tub, smelling them and she never answered me.

_I just had to open my mouth and end the conversation I guess._

I continued washing, intent on finishing up and ending this slight unease that would not leave me.

I felt a sting as I went deeper into the tub and then noticed a laceration on my arm and took a look at the severity of it.

"'Tis not that deep. You will be fine."

_So she was not done with me then._

"Just another scar for my collection. They just keep adding up."

Morrigan grunted.

"Perhaps it would be wise of you to choose different companions to fight beside you. Ones that would be able to shield you from such injury."

"What do you mean? I think Wynne and Leliana and you make a fantastic team."

"Ah, but one of those you have mentioned does not fully concentrate on the task at hand. She is much too concerned with the Maker and chasing after what she thinks is love. Not to mention the other one. The age of dirt has nothing on her."

I was shocked at Morrigan's sudden harsh opinion. I was not prepared to have to defend anyone's honor right now.

"I do not believe in the Maker either but Leliana is a fine fighter and I am glad to have her on my side."

Morrigan cocked an eyebrow at me.

"Did you mean on your side or _in your bed_, Warden_? _'Tis most obvious why the two of you get along so well_...A_nd most sickening."

I had no words to respond to that but was rescued by a firm knock on the door. Before I could ask who it was or give them permission to enter, I heard Leliana's rich voice fill the room as she sang her words upon entry.

"_Warden, my Warden! Where are you_?"

Morrigan let loose an evil sounding laugh and added one last thing.

"Speak of the zealot and she appears. How lovely."

"I'm here, Leliana."

Leliana spun around with a smile that quickly faded as she spotted Morrigan in the tub with me as well. She had something in her hand but I could not tell what it was from my position.

"What...is _she_ doing in there with you?"

Leliana suddenly looked too angry to speak but she managed another sentence before I could answer.

"_What is going on in here, Detra?_"

"We are just... Morrigan helped..."

I thought I knew what I would say but actually having to speak with Leliana staring straight at me as angry as she was made me very nervous.

Morrigan did not help things by letting out a mellifluous laugh and I shushed her as I turned back to Leliana.

"So this is what you do behind my back? And with _her?_"

Leliana's last word was saturated with such disgust that could be heard a kilometer away.

"What? No, we are simply bathing. There is nothing..."

Morrigan snorted.

"You would go along with this, Warden? You would allow this simple, self righteous and not to mention_ easy_ girl to take up any of your time? I say she is not worth your concern."

Leliana's eyes blazed in Morrigan's direction and she placed whatever was in her hands on my bed.

"You would do well to leave _right now_, Morrigan. You do not want to see me angry."

Morrigan was not to be deterred.

"'Tis a better idea that you not anger _me_, little girl. I think 'tis _you_ who are not welcome as I am in here and you are not."

My mouth opened as I watched these two women openly threaten each other. I knew they were not best of friends but I could not believe things could escalate so swiftly.

I saw Morrigan's hands flare with light and I grabbed them, pushing her hands under the water into her lap, holding on to them.

"Morrigan- _no_!"

Leliana had drawn her dagger and was advancing towards the tub and I could not believe my eyes.

"Leliana! Stop this! Stop right now!"

Leliana ignored me as she neared us, her eyes fierce and unwavering on Morrigan and I grabbed her wrist and held on even as I was still struggling to keep Morrigan's hands under the water.

"Stop it! Both of you! That is an _order!_"

I shook Leliana's wrist to get her attention away from Morrigan and finally she looked at me.

"Put your weapon away. _**Now**_!"

Leliana still looked angry as did Morrigan but they both obeyed my order, finally ceasing and desisting. Leliana and Morrigan still stared each other down but at least they had put their weapons aside and Leliana was now backing away a bit.

I had to take some deep breaths as my heart was beating out of my chest. I was not sure if I was going to be able to hinder their fighting but now that I had, the stress was taking its toll.

I eyed both of the women, berating them.

"What the _**sodding**_ hell is wrong with you two?"

Leliana stood back and folded her arms, demanding an explanation again.

"There is nothing to explain, Leliana. We are simply bathing and that is all."

Morrigan giggled and Leliana flared up again.

"Leliana, I will talk to you later. Please just leave."

I watched Morrigan smirk at Leliana and her eyes darkened further.

"I do not trust _her_ but I will do as you say, for now. You had better have a good explanation for all of this, Detra. We will speak later, as soon as you are finished here."

"No, I will find you later, Leliana."

Leliana lingered a few more seconds and then stomped from the room, slamming the door behind her.

Morrigan laughed again and I gave her a dirty look.

"What has gotten into you? I had no idea you hated Leliana so much! Both of you are acting crazy!"

Morrigan had begun washing up again now and spoke as she continued to soap up her washcloth and herself.

"That girl is a fool and I make no excuses for my behavior, 'tis who I am. I do not like her incessant rambling about anything and everything, 'tis quite annoying as is the innocent act that she puts on. She intends to anchor you down so that you may never be free again, Warden. I say beware."

I now had my soapy cloth in my hand as well as I needed to get out of this tub as soon as possible to avoid any more conflict.

"Why do you not just ignore her? You seem to do that with Alistair and everyone else just fine. I need you two to concentrate on the Darkspawn and our mission, not fight one another. Can you promise that there will be no more encounters between you two?"

Morrigan clucked her tongue.

"As you wish. But answer me one question."

"And what question is that?"

"Tell me...do you love Leliana?"

I sighed.

"Why would you ask me such a question? I am a Grey Warden and duty comes before anything else."

"That is not an answer, Warden, that is a job description. Try again or are you afraid of what you might say?"

I sighed louder, aggravated.

"_No, I do not love her.__**"**_

Morrigan watched me answer and nodded her head, slowly, just once. Then she began shaking her head and giggling.

"So you have not fallen for the charms of the bard? Surely you jest! How could you resist such girlish delightfulness?"

The words just flowed from my mouth and I did not even stop to think that maybe I should not be sharing any of this.

"Because nothing lasts forever."

My body froze as the last word left my lips and I knew that I should not have said those words now. Morrigan seemed to use everything I said as ammunition so I knew I would pay for my confession later.

"Pity, is it not? 'Tis the price you pay for being a Grey Warden. You will be dead within thirty years, give or take a few..."

I awaited more doleful musings but Morrigan seemed to have lost her train of thought and stared into the water for a moment then returned to her washing.

"Let us speak no more lest Leliana come bursting in here like a twit again."

I was fine with that idea as I should have stopped speaking several minutes ago.

We finished up in the tub and Morrigan stood and I could not help but notice the water cascading down her body as she stepped over me again, making her way down the stairs and grabbing the towel that she had brought into my room.

Luckily my eyes were not caught staring at her. I could be sneaky when I needed to be. But I had never seen Morrigan with her hair down and I caught myself watching her towel it dry as did she.

Thankfully she avoided any mention of it but I had to open my mouth again.

"You should leave your hair down more often. It's lovely."

Morrigan just looked at me and smirked, her own way of acknowledging my compliment.

I noticed a large puddle of water on the floor and concluded it probably happened when I had to stop Leliana in her advance.

_I still could not believe that situation had actually come to pass._

I sighed, knowing I would get some surly comment in response but still asking anyhow.

"Morrigan, could you please hand me my towel on my bed? I forgot to bring it over here."

Morrigan stepped towards my bed and picked my towel up, delivering it to me without a word. My eyes followed her the entire time and I found I could not stop myself.

_I see that she was truly serious about not saying another word._

"Thank you."

I climbed out of the tub as Morrigan was again toweling her hair and I began drying off, facing away from Morrigan, a bit shy. I wrapped the towel around myself and felt a hand on my back.

"I did not know you had a tattoo. 'Tis very exquisite."

Morrigan had noticed the small tattoo just below my neck on my back and was now asking me what it meant, moving my hair over my shoulder to get a better look.

"It is the Cousland crest."

I felt Morrigan's finger tracing the outer edges and I could see the crest in my mind as she did so. I felt unusually relaxed by what Morrigan was doing and leaned into the edge of the tub, my eyes closing. I then felt another hand on my arm and my eyes reopened.

_Now this was strange_.

Morrigan removed that hand from me a moment later and I looked at my arm. The laceration I had found there earlier was gone.

"Oh. Thank you again, Morrigan."

"You are... welcome. You thought 'twas another reason I would touch you?"

I turned and looked into Morrigan's eyes and I saw... _something_.

Then it was gone.

My mind focused on one sudden, clear thought and I had to voice it.

"Did you truly not want to get your own bath together... or did you want to be here, Morrigan?"

Morrigan laughed heartily, even throwing her head back for added flavor but when her eyes returned to me for delivery of no doubt more censure, _there it was again_.

My hand reached out and touched Morrigan's arm as my eyes were fixed on hers and then the door was opened, Leliana exploding into the room again.

Morrigan sighed heavily but did not move away from me.

"What is this? I leave because you tell me there is nothing going on and I come back to see you..."

I only broke eye contact with Morrigan at that time, facing Leliana.

"Leliana, I told you that I would speak with you later!"

Leliana crossed her arms and stood firm.

"I am not leaving this time. Morrigan needs to be the one to leave. Unless there is something you would like to tell me?"

Morrigan collected her things and calmly walked towards the door past Leliana.

"If you think I would stay to listen to your laden drivel, you are mistaken, bard. I will gladly leave though I do pity the Warden. But then again, she has asked for this, has she not? And we shall all reap what we sow."

Morrigan shrugged at me then walked out the door, Leliana closing it behind her.

* * *

Morrigan did not walk to her room as we had simply assumed she would, but stood outside my door, listening closely to our words.

Several minutes later, her face grew dark and she waved her fingers in the air angrily before retreating silently to her room.

* * *

I sighed again, readying myself for the onslaught of questions that was sure to follow. I could just see it in Leliana's face.

Leliana returned to me and immediately started in again.

"What did I walk in on, Detra? What is going on between you two?"

I held my hand up, mentally exhausted already.

"Leliana, dear gods, please. There is nothing to talk about. It was a bath!"

I wrapped the towel around me tightly and walked towards my bed and Leliana followed.

"Don't give me that, don't you dare give me that! After what I saw, I want an explanation _right now_!"

I sighed deeply and looked at Leliana.

"Why was she touching you? And I saw that you were touching her back so please do not deny it."

"Leliana..."

I felt very aggravated having to explain my actions but then again, I did not want to deal with the wrath of a jealous woman either.

"She was looking at my tattoo and that's all."

"You have a tattoo on your arm? I do not see one."

"No, it's on my back. She was looking at it and then noticed the cut on my arm so she healed it."

Leliana was silent for a moment, but only a moment, working the scenario out in her head.

"So...you were just taking a bath with her and nothing happened? The two of you, naked together, and you expect me to believe nothing else went on?"

"Yes, that is what I am telling you. She did not want to wait to warm her own water so she asked to use mine. Please, Leliana, this is Morrigan we are speaking of. Do you really think she truly wants anything to do with any of us?"

"She seemed to want much to do with you from what I saw."

I shook my head and opened the pack on my bed.

Leliana paused again to mull over the facts that I had presented her with and then seemed to accept them.

"How strange those Wild folk are. I would never ask such a thing as to share another's bath."

"Oh I don't know about that. I can absolutely see you talking your way into a woman's tub and then making her believe it was her idea all along."

Leliana laughed as I hoped she would and I smiled, happy to see that expression on her face versus what I'd seen in the last half hour.

And it seems I could talk my way out of anything if I wanted to.

Leliana's stance relaxed and I removed clothes to wear from my pack.

"So you have a tattoo? Why have I not seen it?"

I laughed, picking my clothes up off of my bed.

"Well, mostly because you have only seen me _on_ my back or in the dark..."

Leliana smirked back.

"Well, I want to see it now. May I?"

"Of course."

I turned around and moved my hair slightly so that Leliana could see it fully. I held my shirt in my hands, ready to slip it on as soon as Leliana was done looking.

"This is your family's crest, no? It's beautiful, Detra."

I smiled and thanked her, appreciating the fact that Leliana knew what it was without explanation. She too could not keep her fingers from it and was tracing it just as Morrigan had. It also seemed she could not keep her hands off of me either as I now felt her hands on my shoulders, pulling me back against her.

"I've missed being close to you..."

I relaxed and felt Leliana's hands move to my arms and her lips against my neck, causing me to shiver. If I did not put a stop to things before they began, I would be under her spell in no time.

Leliana had her own thoughts on the matter.

_She did not pull away as I thought she might but leaned into me, allowing me access._

_Perhaps I was wrong about what I thought I had seen between them._

_Morrigan is not capable of giving even half of what I can. Detra would be a fool to even consider her._

The inconsistency of Leliana's touch brought me out of my stupor but it was still hard to move away. The promise of physical pleasure was scarce these days with things as they were so I found it nearly impossible to pass up.

This was my weakness.

"Wait, wait..."

I turned and faced Leliana, intent on refusing her advances but the look in her eyes stopped me and she did not pass up the chance to kiss me. I could not resist her lips and we kissed for a moment until Leliana pushed me onto my bed then followed, pulling my towel open as she did.

She was an excellent seductress and now I realized how much she must miss being a practicing bard.

_Am I the practice to keep her skills sharp?_

"This time I would like to see more than you on your back..."

Leliana's hands on my body caused all thoughts to cease and I gasped into her shoulder. I let myself go with what was happening. I do not think I had the strength left to fend Leliana off anyhow and found I really did not want to.

There was a loud tinkling of glass and ceramic shattering out of the blue as the three intact vases that remained in my room suddenly exploded into pieces, fragments falling all over and around us and clattering to the floor.

"_Maker_! What the...Are you all right?"

Leliana sat up and we looked at the mess all over the floor, window sills, bed and even on both of us.

"What was that?"

I remained silent and in my thoughts and shrugged.

_Probably Morrigan._

_There is no other way that all three would shatter at once._

_It had to be her._

_But why? To annoy Leliana?_

_To stop us from..._

Leliana was watching me and I think she read my mind.

Of course she did, that was _what_ she did.

"It was _her_, wasn't it?"

I shrugged again, unsure myself.

"I don't know what happened."

I was feeling uncomfortable now and I moved from under Leliana and pulled my towel off the bed, shaking the clay and ceramic pieces from it and attempting to wrap it around me again.

"Are you in love with Morrigan, Detra?"

I did not answer Leliana as I busied myself getting dressed, pretending to not have heard her question and pushing it from my mind.

"Answer me, Detra. _Are you_? More importantly, _do you think she is in love with you_? I cannot imagine such an emotion existing within Morrigan!"

I could not help but laugh at the idea and how ridiculous it sounded verbalized but I never answered.

"That is funny. Morrigan asked me the same question about you."

"Did she? Now why would she care about an answer to a question like that?"

"I wondered that myself actually."

"Oh come, Detra! Do you really expect me to believe you do not understand the reason she asked you that question?"

"I am sorry but I am not as skillful with people as you are, Leliana. I can only read so much into a person and that is sadly not much at all unless it is on the battlefield. That is why I stick with my blade and my shield; they do not require such analysis,"

Leliana got off of the bed and got closer to me.

"Morrigan asked you that question because she wants you for _herself._"

I thought about Leliana's statement but refuted it with laughter again.

"That cannot be true, Leliana. Morrigan is not interested in love from anyone, least of all me."

Leliana shook her head.

"Wake up, Detra. It is true. I have seen this same behavior so many times in my experience. I know this tune by heart."

I allowed my mind to indulge and thought about how it would be if what Leliana had said were true and my body tingled.

_Surely it cannot be true._

"So now comes the part where you must choose, Detra. I do not share and I would suspect that Morrigan does not either."

"Leliana, I do not agree with what you are saying but what do you mean, 'you do not share'? Does that mean that you thought we were... together?"

Leliana looked crestfallen.

"You did not think...we were? But those nights, in your tent, all of our words..."

"Were wonderful indeed, Leliana, but we never promised each other a thing. There is so much and so many depending on us now that we cannot expect anything from one another besides in battle. Any kind of relationship now could jeopardize the mission that we are on and as a Grey Warden, I cannot allow that."

Leliana stared at me and then her eyes went to the floor.

"So you...you won't be with anyone?"

I shook my head, suddenly realizing that it would always be so whether I chose it or not.

"I am sorry but I cannot. But know that you mean a lot to me and I enjoy our time spent together."

Tears in her eyes, Leliana toed the fragments of vase on the floor around her feet.

"Maybe when the Blight is defeated..."

"I cannot think that far ahead, Leliana. Honestly, I do not think I will survive to see the end of the battle. I am new to the Wardens and this is all very..."

"Do _not_ say that, Detra! You will be fine, and we shall triumph as we have thus far. You must think positively or the Darkspawn have already won."

I nodded.

"You are right, I'm sorry. Sometimes things seem so overwhelming and...I would just like a rest from this responsibility I guess."

"I understand. I will not trouble you further."

Leliana turned to leave but my words stopped her.

"Leliana, you are a great addition to my team and you are important to me. Please tell me that you will stay. I cannot win this battle without you."

Leliana looked appreciative of my comment and I got a small smile in return as she turned back to me.

"I have no intention of leaving."

I smiled back, grateful she had not taken this too far.

"If you need me, I will be here, Detra."

After I put on my shirt, I turned to thank her but Leliana was gone, the room empty.

I shook the remaining fragments of vase off the covers on the bed and crawled under them, sleep coming almost instantly and thankfully before I felt the third tear streak down my cheek.


	18. Chapter 18

Leliana rubbed her arms to deflect some of the Peak's chill but it only worked temporarily as she made her way towards the kitchen and the others and her skin bristled again.

Alistair had found her outside a while ago and told her about Oghren and Zevran's successful hunt and that dinner was being served soon in the kitchen and she'd nodded in acknowledgment, not feeling particularly hungry.

Alistair had asked her if something was wrong but Leliana snapped out of it and told him that no, everything was fine. There was no need to involve anyone else in the drama that she had just endured a short time ago.

She wanted it out of her own head as well.

_I was a fool to think that I would ever find love again._

_My life is simply not built to keep it for any length of time._

_Nothing lasts forever._

Leliana stepped into the noisy kitchen and prayed that the celebration that seemed to be taking place would drown out the clamor in her head.

"Ahh, Leliana!"

Zevran stood from his seat at the table and spread his arms wide in greeting.

"Have you seen this place? Detra has made it almost brand new! Speaking of... where is our esteemed and fearless leader?"

All eyes fell on Leliana and she felt sorely out of place and unable to give an answer, hardly even able to smile.

"Does she not wish to help us enjoy this boar we have caught? I have even concocted my special stew as well. Detra cannot miss out on this!"

Leliana felt as if she had an open wound and that salt was being poured directly into it right now but she managed to form an answer for all of those looking upon her right now.

"D...Detra is sleeping right now and has asked that she not be disturbed. I... she was not feeling well."

Zevran cocked his head to the side.

"Not feeling well? Is she all right? Or perhaps she is just tired _out?_"

Zevran smirked at Leliana and for once, she wished he was right.

Leliana denied Zevran's claim and repeated her last words, this time more convincingly.

"This is nonsense! She must celebrate with her companions! We have taken back this ridiculously over sized fortress in the name of the Grey Wardens and she is off sleeping? That is unacceptable! We must go and get her right away."

Alistair and Oghren both yelled out in agreement that they should all go and storm my room but Leliana disagreed.

"I would not disturb her were I you. But if you want to deal with a cranky leader later on, that is your business."

The men settled down and looked at each other and Leliana knew they would cancel their plans now. None of them wanted me cranky in the slightest, I was much less fun then.

Alistair spoke up, his mouth empty for the first time since the food had finished cooking.

"Well, there is always tomorrow night and she must join the shenanigans then!"

It seems they were drinking already and Leliana slid into a seat next to Wynne who greeted her and set a plate of freshly roasted boar in front of her.

It smelled and looked great but Leliana's stomach was twisted up in knots and she could not even think about putting food in her mouth right now.

Sten made himself scarce and left the room with a plate full of roast boar. He always preferred time alone to the cacophony of the group, especially when they drank.

Levi had also retired to his room as well, a small bowl of stew taken with him, claiming that he was tired out from the day's events.

Alistair wrinkled his nose before he spoke.

"You know...someone has to tell Morrigan that the food is ready and I really don't want it to be me."

Everyone froze in place for a moment with the prospect of having to speak to Morrigan and Leliana agreed with Alistair's assessment, frowning with him.

"Ah, you are all so afraid of Morrigan! How can such a beautiful woman instill such fear? Surely she would succumb to my charms."

Oghren laughed and answered Zevran, raising his mug.

"That witch'll set your knickers on fire if you tick her off enough. I think you should do it, Zevran!"

Zevran stepped away and back to the fire.

"Well, actually... my pants are already on fire so it really could not get much hotter than this."

Zevran had a matching smirk to go along with his sexual innuendo and you could hear everyone groan.

"You'll have more than roasted boar to contend with when she's done, Zevran. She'll roast something else for you too."

Alistair laughed as Zevran's face contorted in pain, obviously picturing what Alistair had said.

"Since you put it that way...no. My...meat is not to be trifled with."

Wynne looked at Leliana and rolled her eyes.

"They are a crazy bunch, aren't they? And I think on that note, I'm going to retire to my room. I have plenty of books I'd like to look over before we leave."

Alistair overheard Wynne and argued with her to stay but she got up and brought her plate to the wash basin and said goodnight to everyone.

"Wait, wait! Not before I make a toast!"

Alistair stood up and knew Wynne could not refuse him now.

Wynne smiled, flattered that her company was in demand as Alistair proposed a toast and raised his mug, inciting the others to do so as well. Leliana did not have a drink in front of her so she just grabbed hold of an empty mug, raising it into the air with the others.

"To a great group of friends and comrades and a job well done!"

Everyone clicked their glasses together and those who could drank and then Wynne said goodnight again, despite more protesting.

Wynne left the room and Alistair turned to Leliana.

"You're not leaving now, are you? You can't! And don't you like the boar? You haven't touched any of it."

Alistair didn't wait for an answer as he got up to fill his plate up yet again and Leliana sighed, knowing she might have to choke down a couple of pieces to avoid more questions.

_Or I could just say I'm bringing it to my room._

Alistair returned with his kilometer high plate and questioned Leliana again, his mouth half full already.

"I'm going to bring it to my room for later. I'm sure it's delicious."

Leliana was beginning to regret joining the others now.

Thankfully Oghren drew attention away from her.

"All right, I'm going to go get Morrigan now before I can't stand up."

Oghren had been the one to agree to let Morrigan know there was food to be had and he went off into the hallway behind Wynne.

"I hope she's not in a bad mood." Alistair mumbled through a mouthful of boar.

Leliana flashed back to a couple of hours ago even though she didn't want to remember what had happened. She had no idea how things would progress now that she and Morrigan had been at each others throats and she certainly did not trust the woman at all either.

She was having second thoughts about even traveling with our group anymore. It had gotten that bad between them.

Leliana knew Morrigan's intentions on this mission were not honorable but she couldn't prove it. She just had a feeling.

Detra seemed far too willing to trust the witch and all that she brought to the table and that made Leliana dislike her even more.

Leliana's stomach twisted into tighter knots and she winced with pain and exhaustion. She had had enough of all of this nonsense for today.

Oghren walked back into the kitchen then, announcing that he couldn't find Morrigan and that she didn't answer her door.

Alistair shrugged.

"Hmm. Probably out doing witchy things I guess."

Oghren came back to the table and to his mug that he had left behind for those precious few moments, taking a swig immediately.

Leliana was about to announce she was going to bed as well when Oghren put a glass of wine in front of her in addition to one for himself.

"Hey, try some of this wine, Leliana... I found it in the pantry. It's been aging so long that it's probably about 500 proof. It will knock you on your ass."

Oghren giggled in his usual devious tone and pushed the glass full of red wine closer to Leliana who was glad for the distraction but wary of the contents.

Oghren guzzled some of his own glass to show the wine was not offensive and Leliana pulled the glass to her nose, smelling the strongest vinegar smell she'd ever come across. It was so strong that it actually made her eyes water.

"Oh it smells awful, Oghren! You are going to be sick. How can you drink that?"

"It tastes fine to me!"

Oghren laughed and finished off the entire glass, belching loudly. Leliana deduced that with his stomach, he could probably survive drinking pure acid and probably just get drunk from it.

"So what are you Wardens going to do with this fortress anyhow?"

Zevran brought his mug and bowl of stew to the table and joined them, questioning Alistair.

Alistair's mouth once again full, they had to wait a minute for the answer.

"God sakes, man, are you going to eat that whole boar yourself? That's your third plate, is it not?"

Alistair just smiled through the boar in his teeth and then swallowed.

"Yes it is my third plate and it's your fault that you're such a damn good cook!"

Zevran laughed and Oghren cheered with his mug high in the air, agreeing with Alistair.

"Bloody fine boar!"

Oghren belched again and fell from the chair onto the floor, snoring loudly a minute later.

Zevran and Alistair shook their heads and laughed, then looked at Leliana.

"Sorry us boys are such bad company, Leliana. You look like you'd rather be elsewhere."

Leliana heard her name and was shaken from her daze, one that she hadn't even known she was in.

"I'm sorry?"

Zevran laughed.

"If you would rather be off with your Warden we will not be offended, Leliana, I assure you. Please feel free to leave the door open if you wouldn't mind though."

Leliana noticed Alistair blushing but Zevran was just smirking again.

Leliana felt angry suddenly and it leaked into the tone of her voice.

"I told you that she's sleeping. I won't disturb her."

Zevran noted the anger in Leliana's voice and backed down, surprise on his face. He knew it was time to change the subject.

"So, Alistair, what will the Grey Wardens do with this fortress now? Will you live here?"

Alistair sighed.

"It would be great to live here but I think in the end, I'm going to have to stay in Denerim."

Zevran sipped from his mug, nodding.

"Oh, right. That 'king business' that you have to deal with. How painful it will be to rule all of Ferelden."

Alistair frowned and agreed with Zevran, talking about how many duties have to be done every day, all the decisions and all the lives that will depend on him.

"I'm not sure I'm king material to be honest. Detra thinks I will be a great king but she hasn't known me for long. She doesn't know how lazy I like to be."

"Well, when you are king you can simply hire people to do everything for you. And I must say, it will be a very good thing to finally have friends in high places."

"What will you do after the Blight is ended, Zevran? Do you have plans?"

"Ahh, let's see. Get drunk, find some fish chowder, and surround myself with beautiful women. Just to start with."

Zevran winked at Leliana, hoping she was calmer now.

"Oh, I only meant beautiful women who are _not_ taken. We have plenty of beauties about us who are though."

Zevran continued voicing his plans but Leliana entered her thoughts again.

_Taken?_

_Not so._

_Every woman that I get involved with ends up leaving for one reason or another._

_Is it ever worth it?_

Leliana broke her daze again when Alistair laughed and she finally worked up the courage to excuse herself.

Alistair and Zevran knew something was wrong so they did not give her a hard time, they simply said goodnight.

Leliana was grateful for their kind ignorance and thought to grab some extra carrots and a couple of bits of potato off the table before she left back into the chilly Peak.

"Come here, sweetie."

Shmooples scampered towards Leliana from her room's doorway and Leliana kneeled down, greeting him with the handful of vegetables that she'd taken from the kitchen.

Shmooples gobbled every bit from her hand and snuffled about for some more.

"Hungry are you? I should have brought more I guess but I did feed you earlier, my little piglet."

Leliana continued speaking with Shmooples, adding what a good boy he was.

"I'm so glad I have you, my little guy."

Shmooples jumped on Leliana's knees and she giggled as he tickled her with his tall ears in her face.

His greeting over, Shmooples was off smelling about for more bits of food and then made his way back inside Leliana's room, most likely back to his bed.

Leliana shook her head.

_I can't go to bed now. Not with all these... thoughts in my head._

_I cannot believe that I feel this way for another woman and it feels just like it did before._

_Nothing but pain._

_If only I had someone I could talk to..._

Leliana's eyes lit up as she realized she did and right after she said goodnight to Shmooples, she set off to Wynne's room, hoping to catch her still awake.


	19. Chapter 19

_**I want to thank the readers who take the time to let me know they are enjoying this story and let you know that this hard-working author truly appreciates your words.**_

_**Thank you!**_

_**Enjoy the chapter.**_

* * *

Alistair had ignored Leliana's warning to not disturb me and was on his way to my room with a crock of Zevran's boar stew, assured that I would be grateful and happy to see him.

We were friends after all.

Alistair's knocks yielded no reply from me so he slowly opened the door, wanting to make sure that I had dinner.

"Detra? I have come to deliver some of the best..."

Alistair's voice trailed off as he stopped just inside my now open door, forgetting about the food he was here to deliver as his eyes could not help but wander over most of my naked body that was outside of the sheets as it always ended up.

Alistair almost dropped the crock of stew that threatened to slip from his grip but he regained his hold on it.

_Maker but she is..._

_Beautiful._

Alistair removed his eyes quickly and attempted to address me again but my eyes were still closed and I remained in the hold of sleep, unmoved.

_I should go. I should...leave the room now._

_Leaving...now._

Alistair let his eyes roam the exposed nakedness of my body again and he gasped as thoughts imbued his mind and body. He could feel his hand reach out and touch me and he could see me wake and then... Alistair recoiled as he could hear me chastising him for being in my room and seeing me in such a state.

When that did not happen, his mind quickly put that thought aside and replaced it with my being pleased he was in my room and inviting him to indulge himself. Alistair's eyes widened as he almost felt himself under the sheets with me, doing things he'd only had distant thoughts about in his life and he felt a familiar stirring.

He should stop, knew he had to stop, but now his mind replaced himself with Leliana and Alistair's mouth fell open as he watched Leliana and I do such things to each other.

Alistair gasped and stumbled backwards as I shifted on the bed and he closed the door behind him as he moved out into the hallway, grateful he had not been caught.

Heading back to his room, Alistair found he had quite a hard time walking and prayed he did not run into anyone else. He made it to his room without incident and realized he still had the stew in his hand, placing it on the nightstand.

As he leaned against the safety of his closed door, his mind was free once again to have me pull him against me and oh, _the things we did_...

* * *

"Wynne, could I speak with you?"

Wynne looked up from her spell book to find Leliana already coming through her partially closed door.

"I saw your light was still on and... would it be all right if I came in?"

"Of course, dear. Please come in."

Leliana closed the door behind her and Wynne gestured for her to join her at the table.

"What is on your mind, Leliana? Are you all right? You look a bit upset."

Leliana, for the first time in a long time, found herself in need of someone else's advice.

She did not like the fact that she felt nearly helpless.

Leliana slowly lowered herself into a chair and found she was unable to answer Wynne, emotions caught in her throat as she had tried to answer.

Wynne picked up on this immediately and reached forward to rest her hand on Leliana's knee.

"Leliana? Are you all right, dear?"

Some deep breaths returned Leliana to normal and she collected herself, ashamed to have almost fallen apart in front of Wynne.

"I am sorry, there is..."

"Take your time, dear. Everything will be all right."

Wynne marked her spot in her book and moved some things around the table so she was not simply staring as Leliana composed herself.

"I am at a loss, for the first time in my life. I cannot seem to go on from this point and I am afraid..."

"In regards to what, dear? What is troubling you? The Blight?"

Leliana shook her head.

"No, this is...It has to do with Detra."

_There. She had said it._

Wynne sat back, making herself comfortable again.

"Is something wrong with Detra?"

"No, but I feel there may be something wrong with me. I feel as if it's so selfish to want something all to myself."

Wynne looked confused.

"Why is that?"

Leliana sighed.

She would have to delve into her soul for this and hopefully Wynne would not judge her.

"Detra does not believe her duty allows any room in her life for love, and...that makes me feel as if I am the problem."

Wynne nodded, understanding the situation clearly now.

"Ahh, I see. I have noticed the two of you together and have seen a certain...devotion develop over time. However, Detra _is_ a Grey Warden and is bound by a duty that includes not allowing anything to come between herself and her mission. It is nothing personal, dear, that is how it must always be with the Wardens. They have all of us depending on them and must sacrifice all that they hold dear."

"I understand all of that and I have never asked Detra to give any of that up for me but just to give _us_ a chance. All I want to do is be with her."

Leliana could feel her chest burning as she poured her heart out to Wynne. She hated to do it, hated that she could not deal with it on her own but she couldn't contain it any longer or she would snap.

"And I am sure she feels the same way about you, Leliana, at least from what I have seen. But if you had to choose between saving Detra's life or letting her die to save the world, which would you choose? These are the choices that Detra must make for the rest of her life."

Leliana's expression froze and Wynne already knew what her answer would be.

"Detra has a merciless path to follow and things are not always as easy as they seem, are they? She has given up her life for this sacred honor."

Leliana was quiet for a moment, in her mind with thought.

"I will not give up on her, Wynne, I cannot. She has not told me that she does not care for me as I do for her and I think it is only this fear of choice that stands in our way. If it ever came down to it, I would give my life for Detra. I would leap from the highest cliff or take on the most colossal ogre that has ever existed. If it meant saving her, I would do anything."

Wynne smiled at the young bard and her profession of love.

"Spoken like a woman truly in love. It warms my heart to hear such love exists, even in tumultuous times as these."

Leliana smiled, trying to mend the sadness inside and making a promise to herself to see this through, already feeling herself relax as her worries came out.

"I see why you would not want Detra to get away, Leliana. She is an amazing woman and I could see the two of you together for years to come. As long as you bear in mind that duty is above all."

Leliana knew Wynne was going to keep discussing the cursed duties as she herself was severely restricted by the Circle so she needed to go in another direction.

"I was thinking of gathering some flowers for Detra tomorrow morning. I noticed some out in the courtyard when we arrived. I hope that the snow did not bury them."

Wynne smiled again.

"That is a lovely idea, Leliana. Women always enjoy flowers. But tell me- have you told Detra any of what you have shared with me?"

Leliana looked guilty as she thought about the truth.

"I...not just as I have told you, no. But..."

Wynne laughed.

"Detra may be a great many things, Leliana, but I do not think she is a mind reader. I think your words, along with those flowers that you have your heart set on, will bring about the answer that you seek. Or at least an end to the question."

Wynne watched Leliana's eyes light up and she smiled.

"Thank you, Wynne. I very much appreciate the time you've taken to listen to me ramble on. I hope I have not kept you awake."

"Oh do not worry, dear. I could not sleep so I was still reading up on some spells so that I can try to keep up with Morrigan. She has some remarkable spellpower and I feel I could always improve."

Wynne laughed a bit.

"Do not tell Morrigan that though. She is pretentious enough as it is."

Leliana's smile disappeared upon mention of that name.

"Morrigan..."

Leliana said Morrigan's name with such disdain that Wynne again looked up from her book.

"I take it you do not care for Morrigan?"

Leliana's thoughts returned to hours earlier, when she had been ready to stab Morrigan in her heart because she threatened to steal Detra away. Or so it had seemed.

Leliana decided to shock Wynne with the news that Morrigan may be having feelings for another human besides herself and she shared the tale of earlier, leaving out the more intimate parts but painting Morrigan in a more damaging light.

Wynne was stunned by the end of the story and let Leliana know her opinion immediately.

"By the Maker, Leliana! Such jealousy unchecked will only create chaos! I would expect you to know better! You need to speak with Detra as soon as possible and get this settled before any of you get seriously injured. This cannot go on as it has been."

Leliana felt ashamed of her actions already but Wynne just drove the arrow deeper.

The calamity verbally dealt with, Wynne returned to the original point of Leliana's story, still shaking her head.

"So, Morrigan... you really believe she may have feelings for Detra?"

Leliana nodded, relying on Wynne to help her understand this part. She could not imagine Morrigan caring for anyone but herself.

Wynne sighed, crossing her legs and resting back into the chair again.

"Well, even women like Morrigan have feelings. They just hide them very well, sometimes even from themselves. We must also remember that she was raised by Flemeth who was possessed by a demon from the Fade then turned abomination. I doubt that neither love nor positive emotions were things Morrigan ever experienced with Flemeth and who she is today is the result of that. It is not her fault, it is simply all that she has ever known. While I do not care for the venom that she tries to pass off as words or how she treats others sometimes, I do not fault Morrigan for who she is."

Leliana was not comforted by this.

"So do you think that she may have feelings for Detra? To compete with Morrigan, I just do not know if I could..."

Wynne sighed again, mustering all of her wisdom to try and decipher the clues Leliana has presented her with.

"Well, in all honesty, if Morrigan were to have feelings for someone, Detra would be a most prominent choice. All of the power that Detra possesses, her standing...I could see how Morrigan would be attracted to that."

Leliana's comfort level dropped even lower.

"So you are saying that it is possible Morrigan...Oh, I just cannot even say it..."

Wynne shook her head.

"Perhaps, but I am not sure if Detra would reciprocate those feelings. That is why you must speak with her yourself, Leliana. I cannot predict what the future holds in store for either of you, as much as I would like to."

Leliana tried to shake off the sudden sadness that set in and noticed Wynne watching her, waiting for a response and she had to muster something up.

"Wynne, again- thank you. Just talking has helped me sort things out and I will go from here. I will let you get back to reading and I am sorry to have disturbed you."

"It is no trouble, Leliana, truly. But you must not let your feelings interfere in such a drastic manner that would endanger our mission. You must get things under control and speaking with Detra should be your first priority. And no matter what comes of that talk, you must still continue with our mission. Do you understand that is how it must be, Leliana? Promise me that you do."

Leliana nodded, but only for Wynne's benefit.

"I do, Wynne, I understand. It is simply the not knowing part that is hurting me the most and that is all my own doing. One cannot simply assume that there is love where there has only been intimacy."

"Well, intimacy can indeed breed love so there is hope yet, dear."

Leliana smiled.

"That gives me a glimmer on the horizon."

"I hope I was able to help."

"You certainly were. Goodnight, Wynne. And thank you."

Wynne returned the sentiment and closed the door behind Leliana as she left.

She turned back to her chair and her book and sighed, intent on finishing the chapter but the story Leliana had told her was causing disquiet in her thoughts.

_Had Morrigan become more trouble than she was worth?_


	20. Chapter 20

The room was bathed in sunlight as my eyes opened and I was shown just how well I had cleaned the windows. I rolled onto my side, away from the blinding, clouded rays.

I stretched and then my mind turned back on, already busy recalling the night before as my eyes opened for the second time.

_Hopefully this day would hold fewer surprises than the previous._

Mabs clicked his way into my room and stood next to my bed, licking my hand in greeting.

"Hey boy."

I could not lie in bed any longer so I stood and dressed, Mabs beside me, looking to start the day with an adventure of some sort. Or perhaps just breakfast.

I did not put my armor on but instead just my every day clothing. There was no need since we were not leaving today. I walked towards the door and kicked something across the floor, causing Mabs to charge after it.

"What is it?"

Mabs sniffed at it and looked back at me, letting me know it was of no threat.

I bent down and retrieved the item and instantly recognized it from the night before. It was the pouch that Leliana had set on the bed before her and Morrigan had...

I shook my head to avoid any further remembrance of those events and pocketed the pouch to give back to Leliana when I inevitably saw her today.

Mabs followed me down the hallway but I was not yet sure where I was going. I thought it would be best to simply wander the fortress and see what I would stumble upon. Maybe I would discover something fascinating that would consume my thoughts instead of complications with women.

_Just stop it._

I needed to feed Mabs his breakfast and he whined, pushing against my hand.

"Come on, boy."

We made our way into the kitchen and I threw some boar and vegetables into his bowl, setting it on the floor in front of Mabs before he wasted away to nothing.

As I watched Mabs eat quickly, I heard snoring noises come from the other side of the table and investigated.

Oghren was fast asleep on the other side of the bench, one arm hanging off the side and quite a few mugs on the table where I guessed he had celebrated last night. I shook my head, wondering how he was able to do it and how long he'd stayed in that uncomfortable position.

After Mabs had finished, we pushed forward into the fortress and I was glad to not come across anyone else. I was not in a chatty mood after all that had happened. There was still so much of this place to explore and there was so much area we had not yet even set foot in.

Mabs sniffed ahead of me, sneezing quite a few times and shaking his head.

"I know, I know. It's dusty."

I rubbed Mabs' back as he sneezed again and then a noise made me jump.

Mabs came alive, growling and charging towards a bookcase that lay ahead of us and I heard a startled yelp as he rounded it and I followed right behind him, wishing I'd had my weapon with me.

"Mabs!"

Behind the bookshelf I found a startled Levi and Mabs both staring at one another and I was instantly relieved as Mabs had stopped himself before any damage had been done.

"Levi... We had no idea you were in here."

Levi regained his composure and his breath, letting his arms fall loose at his sides again.

"Thank the heavens it's you, Warden. I thought I was done for."

"Sorry about that. Mabs is very efficient."

Levi nodded and slid the volume in his hands back on the shelf.

"Are you finding anything of interest, Levi? Anything about your grandmother in all of this?"

I lifted a crusty volume up from the table and found it to be about magic and then I let it fall back where it had been. I had no use for it.

"Not anything, no. I keep looking for some sort of journal or anything, but all there seems to be are magic books."

"By the looks of this place, it was someone's laboratory I believe. You probably won't find much here in this room."

"I wonder if this was..."

Levi trailed off.

"What is it?"

Levi walked towards a set of small stairs and climbed them.

"What if this room is where that mage did his dirty work? You know, opening up all those holes in the... What was it... the Veil?"

I walked with Levi up the stairs and we began investigating.

"It could have been. Let's look around and see if we find his name anywhere."

We dug through piles of dusty and corroded books and supplies and what looked to be human bones for quite awhile but came up with nothing, at least with Avernus' name on it.

"I really cannot tell whose notes these are, but it seems they were researching augmenting Grey Warden powers. I would think that Avernus would attempt just such a task."

Levi came to the piles that led me to my discovery, looking them over.

"A lot of it is illegible, but some bits and pieces point to research done on human subjects, trying to fortify strength or power, I think. I'm not really the magic expert at all. I should get Wynne's opinion on all of this. I am sure she would understand what all of this means."

"So this mage was trying to give more power to the Wardens then? Experimenting on... people?"

I nodded grimly.

"It reads that way."

Levi shook his head, dismayed.

"Magic... bah. I have never trusted it in my life. Always those with power just seek to gain even more, not even careful of those they might hurt in the process."

"I agree. I have never found magic to be that helpful and have heard many stories of corrupt mages. There must have been some good ones over time, but you never hear the stories of them. But at least Wynne is one such mage. I can tell you that for sure."

Levi didn't respond but kept sifting through the items in front of us, his face sullen.

"I thought for sure I would find something vindicating my grandmother, but there is nothing here... Nothing."

I touched Levi's shoulder, sensing his grief.

"Listen, we still have a whole fortress to go through, don't give up hope yet. You never know what's just around the corner."

Levi tossed a book back onto the table, turning to me.

"You really think we'll find something here? There is more here that I _don't _want to know it seems."

"Well, I don't think this is the room to search in as I believe it belonged to Avernus. We'll find nothing but malfeasance in his quarters. We should move to another room and keep looking."

"I wonder if my grandmother knew what Avernus was doing with all this... research. If she knew he had... test subjects."

"From what you told me, she seemed to have no idea of what he had been doing."

"Yes, Warden, but that was simply a story. Anyone could have changed the lines since before it was told to me... I am here for the _truth_."

I nodded. Levi could be right.

"Sometimes I question the stories I hear too, most of them are too fantastic to have ever taken place. But I guess there are some things we'll never know for sure."

Levi turned from the morbid research and I followed.

"I just want to know what happened here, what steps my grandmother really took and what was said. I don't think I'll find any written record of it though. I'll probably just have to go with what I would think she would do."

Levi's mood was very dismal and only getting worse. I felt sorry for him as it was almost as if this trip had been a waste for him. A horrifying waste at that, seeing as how he had to witness his grandmother in that cursed state before we had slain her and put her out of her misery.

"Let's just keep looking. There has to be something here."

* * *

Leliana found herself out in the cold once more, pulling her coat around her tighter, the hair on her neck spiking with the temperature change and she verbally shivered.

_I really dislike Ferelden and this weather. I must go back to Orlais soon or I might freeze to death._

Leliana paused in her thoughts and smiled, her eyes glowing.

_But it is worth it._

"Come on, Shmooples. You have to help me find those flowers."

Leliana's pink shadow bounded out into the snow after they had reached the end of the stairs and the little nug was in his glory getting to play in the snow again.

Leliana frowned a bit, worrying about his being hairless again but she could tell that he was so happy right now and she didn't want to interrupt him.

"Just a few minutes, sweetie. Then I'll have to take you back up."

Shmooples continued dancing about in the snow banks and Leliana moved toward the direction of the flowers she'd seen days ago.

There were two buildings near the entrance and one of them looked to be guards' quarters but there was a lock on the door. It was not a very strong one but Leliana did not have her lockpick kit on her so she moved onward, wishing she could have hidden in there, even if only for some temporary warmth.

"Where are those buggers? I swear they were here..."

Leliana was getting agitated as all she saw around her was snow and her boots were wet and freezing and her mood was declining rapidly. She resigned herself to her hands and knees, now sifting through the snow pile in front of her.

"Not here...where then? I remember seeing them over..."

Leliana's thoughts to herself trailed off as she realized she no longer heard or saw Shmooples and this worried her again.

"Sweetie? Where are you?"

Leliana stood up and moved towards the trail he had left in the snow and saw him finally, moving about near the other unfinished building. When Leliana saw what Shmooples was doing, her eyes widened and she moved through the snow quickly.

"Shmooples! _**Noooo**__!_"

Leliana's heart sagged in her chest as she watched helplessly as the last bit of yellow flower disappeared into Shmooples' hungry little mouth and he bounded over to her, heeding her call.

Leliana sighed and shook her head, sinking to her knees. The search had been such a waste. She wanted to chastise her little friend for eating the flowers but she could never fault him for doing what came naturally to him- devouring everything in sight.

Leliana's thoughts went askew with thoughts of a suitable replacement as her knees grew damp and chilled but nothing came to her mind but words now.

Maybe words would just have to do.

* * *

Levi and I had walked to the end of the hallway past Avernus' quarters but the door was hopelessly sealed shut so we had turned back, moving through three more rooms before settling on one that appeared to be someone's bedroom, perhaps a servant's.

"We might find something in here, Levi."

Levi entered behind me and we set out digging through some more piles of books and rubble before coming up empty handed. There was not much to go through in this room though, the bare floor further in alluding to that fact.

Levi's hands went into the air.

"I just...I don't know what I was thinking coming here. I'm not going to find anything."

"I understand you're frustrated but you must remember how long it has been since all of this happened and how much time things have had to waste away. With the size of this fortress and the estimate of Wardens that were here, we are bound to run across something. It will just take time."

"Well I'm glad that one of us has such faith we'll find something. I've about given up."

I nodded, understanding how he felt.

"Sometimes faith is all we have left."

We moved onward down the hall, into more servants' quarters, even some storage areas but nothing had revealed itself yet.

I was beginning to tire of all the bending over and moving of items but I was not going to give up, for Levi's sake. He needed something to reclaim his belief in his grandmother and I would try my hardest to help him get it back.

Pulling a thick wooden box from the bottom of a decrepit shelf, my interest was piqued. Hopefully there was something of interest or at least value in this box and I discovered a tiny lock on the clasp. Just a slight effort broke it open and I lifted the cover to find an assortment of trinkets and personal items, all yellowed and clouded with time.

About to give up, I moved a piece of moldy silk to find a small book underneath and my heart stopped- a potential journal. Removing it very carefully, I tried not to get my hopes up too quickly until I opened it up and saw that quite a bit of it was still legible, due largely in part to the box that had kept it safe all these years.

My eyes pored over the pages and my throat closed up a bit as I could actually decipher Commander Dryden's name and immediately called Levi over.

"Levi...Levi! Your grandmother... She is in here!"

Levi immediately froze and started at me in disbelief and then abandoned what he had been doing and dashed over to me.

"Truly? And it can be read?"

Some of the pages were stuck together due to moisture accumulation but most of it was intact and ready for Levi's keen consumption and I handed it over, warning for him to be careful.

Levi devoured the first page where his grandmother's name was mentioned and I watched him for a bit, glad we had finally found something to make this trip anything but a failure for him.

_Perhaps I should have read further to avoid anything negative that may be written._

It was too late now and I continued around the room, still searching as Levi began to read some of the journal out loud to me. His pronunciation of some words and his usage led me to believe he had been schooled publicly, if at all. My tutor at the Cousland Manor would never have let me get away with such mistakes.

"So this woman... she is an elf and her name is Fidessa. She had just came to the Peak and... she talks about... shamlins? What are those?"

Now how could I get that book away from Levi so that I could continue the reading? I could not bear to hear such mistakes made as he read but I did not want to offend either.

"Levi, I've read quite a bit about elves and I would not mind to read this if you would like. That way I can explain these words that are unknown to you."

Levi seemed okay with that and gingerly handed the delicate journal over to me and I smiled victory to myself.

"All right, let's see... Shemlens are what elves call us humans, the ones they don't like anyways. As with any race, they have their own words for different things."

Levi nodded understanding and I continued scanning the pages, summarizing what I had read as I could.

So she was an elven servant named Fidessa who had just arrived at the Peak, unsure of shemlens and is mostly afraid of even her own shadow. She talks about meeting other elves and finding them to be happy there and that made her feel safer. Day to day entries let us know she becomes more comfortable as time went on but eventually she begins to complain about certain mages making racist comments and a couple of merchants give her problems because she seems to be so beautiful of an elf, everyone wants her or wants to be close to her. She never mentions names, perhaps because she didn't know them. Elven servants were rarely engaged in conversation unless demands were being made or you happened to work for one of the few who were not so abusive.

She sounded a bit full of herself to me but I left that opinion out of what I was reciting back to Levi as it didn't matter.

Several entries down the line mentions that one day how she met a 'strong woman' in her travels from the market and the shemlen woman smiled kindly at her and told her what a great job she was doing.

"I think...she says in here that she believed it was the Warden Commander because of her armor. That she had been told of what it looked like and she thinks this was her."

"Really? Then what?"

Levi was excited for more and hung on my every word now.

"Hmmm... that's all she mentions about your grandmother. Now she's back to speaking about the merchants."

There were several more entries in which this Fidessa spoke of what she would do if the offending parties did not leave her alone and how it made her life miserable, to have to avoid them. More entries down the line revealed a savior, another elf she called Nereo. He apparently stood up to a shemlen who was bothering her and they became fast friends from that day on. From then on, she spoke continuously of Nereo, her want for more than a friendship most obvious.

Levi groaned displeasure.

"Oh no, she's in love with this elf? Now that's all she'll write about."

I could not help but laugh in agreement with Levi and he was proven correct by the next twenty entries or so where Fidessa talked of marriage, moonlit walks and how wonderful Nereo's hair is.

I quickly sifted through those entries, still laughing about Levi's comment.

"She's still talking 'bout him? Maker!"

"Levi, just be thankful she had a journal at all. At least you got mention of your grandmother and it was positive."

Levi nodded slightly, waiting for more.

I continued poring over the pages and panic stopped me.

"Wait...now she's speaking of trouble at the Peak."

"And?"

"She says that Nereo has spoken of people leaving the Peak in a hurry and that something was happening within the Wardens but they don't know what."

"Yes? What happened?"

I was tolerant of Levi's excitement and more scanning came up with another entry, made several days later.

"Next entry has her fearing for her life and Nereo's and describing that the wardens are going to be at war with King Maric's men!"

"Maker! This was the start of it!"

My heart beating quickly, I continued.

"She's writing now that the wardens suggested they leave the Peak the day before and seek refuge elsewhere but she is upset that she has nowhere else. That's why she had come to work there in the first place."

I hesitated, what I saw further along in the pages wasn't good.

"Oh no,"

"What is it, Warden? What?"

"There's not much more, Levi. The entries suddenly end."

Levi moaned loudly again.

"After all of that? There must be something else."

I moved closer to Levi, pointing to the words that finished the journal as I read them out loud.

"I pray to the Maker that Nereo and I make it out of this alive, I cannot bear to lose him. The Wardens say the King's knights will be here in three days. I will pray every day that we will..."

The print is smudged further on but we can see that this was the last entry. The rest is of the journal was blank save for dirt smudges and some mold.

Levi is speechless for a moment or so and I am not sure what else I can say.

"Well, something is better than nothing like you said before, Warden. I have to take what I can get."

"We can continue looking as well."

My words were interrupted by my stomach growling so loudly that I knew even Levi heard it.

"Have you eaten at all today, Warden?"

I shook my head, suddenly aware that I hadn't and laughed.

"No, I just remembered as my stomach reminded me."

Levi pushed himself back to his feet off the wall and helped me up as well.

"Let's get to the kitchen then and get you something to eat. It's not good to be on an empty stomach if you don't have to be. I don't think we'll find anything better than this book. Not today anyways."

"I agree."

We found our way out of the maze of corridors and got on track to the kitchen from where we could already smell dinner.


	21. Chapter 21

"Ah, there is our missing Warden! We have been waiting for you."

Zevran greeted the two of us as we entered the door and touched my arm as I drew closer.

I nodded greetings to those in my immediate area, embarrassed with all of the sudden attention. I tried to move to a seat but Zevran was in my way and Oghren joined him, raising his mug in greeting.

"Warden! Bloody hell! Where have you been?"

_Oh...there she is._

Shivers went up Leliana's back and she tried to remember she was talking with Alistair but what he had just said was gone from her head already, the sight of me entering the room throwing her off balance.

Alistair smiled as he saw Leliana look at me as she did and laughed as she tried to act as if she knew what he'd said even though he knew she had no idea. She feigned innocence and was just thankful that I was talking and walking with Levi when I came in and didn't notice her little 'bump in the road' so to speak. Alistair stood up to offer greetings to me as well but Leliana stayed seated, not wanting to get in the way.

I found my way around the table and it seems that the only seat available was next to Leliana. And I do believe that was intentionally left for me.

I nodded to Leliana, not wanting to be rude.

"Evening."

Leliana nodded back and responded in kind, moving over a bit to allow me more room on the bench. Levi sat down across from me and placed the journal in front of him after making sure the table was clean.

Zevran put his hand on my shoulder after I'd settled in and had a question for me.

"How did you like my stew last night, Detra? Wasn't it the best stew you've ever tasted?"

"Oh, I ended up going to bed early last night and didn't make it for supper."

"Oh I know that. Did Alistair not bring the bowl of stew last night?"

A few pairs of eyes settled on Alistair and I saw him blushing suddenly.

"Um, everyone told me not to disturb you so... I didn't."

Alistair wanted attention off of himself so he asked Levi what the book was.

"The Warden and me just found this in... servant's quarters I guess. It actually mentions my grandmother."

There were now several serious inquiries across the kitchen and Levi was invited to tell the story again and he obliged, happy to be discussing his main purpose for being here again.

I knew the story already so I offered to get everyone's supper for them, spooning portions into bowls one by one and carrying them back towards the table.

Leliana suddenly appeared next to me and took the next bowl from me, taking it from my hands and bringing it to the table before I could say a word.

"Let me help."

It was a bit awkward to see Leliana now but I would just have to get over it and do what I was meant to. Be the leader, defeat the Blight and all the other good things that came with that.

Leliana returned for two more servings and then we returned to our seats, everyone having supper before them.

"So it actually mentions the beginning of the fight with the King's knights? That is amazing! I wish she had written more."

Alistair was engaging Levi and I knew if it wasn't for the stew in front of him, the questions would never stop.

I sat down and felt something poke my side, then remembered the pouch that I still held for Leliana. I fished it out of my pocket with as much stealth as possible and quietly placed it on the table next to Leliana's bowl.

"This belongs to you."

Leliana was shocked by the movement towards her but nodded quickly, not wanting to give anything away.

I returned to filling in blanks for Alistair and Leliana took the pouch into her hands, intent on stuffing it straight into her pocket.

_It's still warm. She must have carried this with her all day._

A slight smile appeared on Leliana's face as she tucked the silken cloth into her pocket and began eating.

"So there was a big fight here then? I'll drink to that!"

Oghren broke his silence finally and raised his mug in a toast to the brutality.

I was going to say something to him, but just ended up shaking my head. Dwarves were, by nature, an aggressive people and believed everything could be resolved by fighting or war and nothing I could say now would change Oghren's opinion.

"So where are Wynne and Sten?"

I also thought to name Morrigan but she hardly ever joined us for meals, preferring for the most part her solitary nights.

Alistair answered about Sten, pointing with his thumb.

"Sten finished eating just before you got here and has built some recreational room. He's practicing or something in there."

Zevran told me that Wynne had already claimed her supper and brought it to her room, talking of wanting to finish books before we left.

"She knows she can bring some with us I hope. She will never finish them all."

I laughed, picturing Wynne speed reading in her room, or perhaps using magic to remember the wisdom within the books.

Alistair spoke through his chewing again.

"Have you seen the books around here? They are huge! I wouldn't want to lug them around."

I remembered how heavy those few were in the library a day ago and nodded in agreement.

"True, but if it's going to be beneficial, I'd like Wynne to bring it with us. Anything to help with the Darkspawn."

Zevran was looking through Levi's journal and talking and I was just about to compliment him on the stew when suddenly the kitchen grew very quiet.

Alistair added something as he swallowed then giggled.

"Speaking of Darkspawn..."

Those who didn't notice already now looked up and saw Morrigan entering the kitchen, not stopping until she reached the pot of stew and then she spooned out a portion for herself.

I could suddenly feel Leliana bristle at Morrigan's presence and was afraid something might happen but neither appeared to acknowledge the other. Morrigan stepped towards us, starting to eat the stew and nodding her greeting to us.

Zevran was the first to break the silence, smiling his crooked smile and asking how Morrigan liked the stew.

Morrigan daintily finished chewing and made us wait a bit for an answer.

"'Tis a good recipe. Perhaps one from your whorehouse upbringing?"

Zevran laughed his nasty laugh. It was obvious he liked Morrigan's sarcasm along with her other...assets.

"Actually, a curious thing. It is a recipe from a fellow Crow who was one of the best assassins I've ever known. Aside from myself of course."

Alistair laughed and couldn't resist the pull of the conversation and a chance to dig at Morrigan.

"An assassin making something this delicious? You'll have to teach me that recipe, Zevran so Morrigan doesn't tell me she hates my cooking anymore."

Morrigan turned to Alistair.

"I said nothing of the sort. I simply said it was barely edible."

Alistair laughed, surprised by such a tame response.

"What's the difference?"

"Barely edible 'tis still edible, just not as palatable as it could be."

You could feel everyone relax as Morrigan spoke no words of malice, but what appeared to be actual conversation. Alistair, along with the rest of the table, just watched her for a moment and then returned to their own bowls.

I felt something warm poke my back and turned to see Mabs, that look of hunger once again in his eyes.

"Oh, I'm sorry, boy. Seems it's always time for you to eat."

I immediately left the table and retrieved his bowl from the floor and used the scrap bits of boar and vegetables still on the cutting boards to fill it up.

Morrigan actually sounded to be involving herself in conversation with the group as I heard her ask what we were discussing and then even she and Alistair said a few things back and forth that were not abusive in the least.

I could not help but be surprised that Morrigan was capable of such exchanges, considering how she has been in the past. Perhaps she was getting the hang of her social skills. Or maybe she was just getting used to us.

As I was finishing up feeding Mabs, I heard Morrigan agree that it was a good plan and then she actually excused herself, moving towards the basin to place her bowl and we bumped into each other.

My body shuddered a bit and I quickly responded.

"Pardon me."

"Excuse me, Warden. Good night."

Morrigan hastily continued her path to the basin, placed her bowl inside and then made her way out of the kitchen door.

Alistair could barely wait until Morrigan had left the doorway and did his best to whisper.

"Does anyone know who that was because I thought it looked like Morrigan but...it really couldn't have been her."

Zevran smiled at Alistair.

"The true way to a woman's heart is first through her stomach, Alistair, no matter what she tells you. If you can impress her that way, then you move on to the next stage of impressing her and that is just a little bit lower."

Levi and Alistair blushed at Zevran's sexual talk but I laughed, used to it by now.

Leliana decided to join in the conversation for the first time tonight.

"There are even some foods which enhance that 'lower part' so you could perform a combination as well. Good food _and_ good sex."

Zevran was surprised but pleased at Leliana's addition and turned to her.

"Ahhh, that is very true, Leliana. And why am I not surprised that you know this, eh? Such a crafty little bard, aren't you?"

Zevran winked at her.

"They used to keep shellfish on hand at the whorehouse all the time and the sailors would go crazy for it. Even though one would think that they had eaten enough of it being on the sea all the time."

Leliana wrinkled her nose.

"The way seafood looks is so...ugly and wrinkly. I never understood how people could get aroused eating such food."

I was a bit surprised that Leliana would engage Zevran in such a way as it would only lead to more deviance, but it was her choice. I leaned back so they could have a better view of each other beyond me on the bench.

"You have not had it prepared in such a way to make it so then, Leliana. It can be done."

Zevran's expression served as an invitation for Leliana to try _his_ recipe out sometime and she finally understood that she needed to conclude the conversation.

"Thank you, Zevran. But I think I will stick with my current diet."

Zevran smiled again and then winked at me, thinking he understood.

"I must say that I am a bit jealous, but my recipe will always be available."

Catching his meaning, I was suddenly very uncomfortable with his suggestion, mainly because now I had a picture of Leliana and myself in my head. Conversation was needed, and now.

"So, Levi, will you be bringing your family here to the Peak? You've told me they are fantastic traders and this place could do with some life in it."

Levi finished off his stew and pushed his bowl away, wiping his mouth.

"I was going to ask you about that, Warden but I wasn't sure when to bring it up."

"Now seems like a good time. What do you propose?"

"My family is only a short few days away and could get their wares together and make it here before the Blight hits. Not that the Darkspawn are interested in this place, but at least my family won't encounter Darkspawn while traveling."

"This place, according to that journal, was rife with traders at one point and seemed to do very well. Maybe with your help we can get it back to its former glory."

"One of my brothers happens to be a blacksmith, Warden. I was thinking... maybe he would agree to stay on and after you Grey Wardens get more...Wardens, he could keep your equipment and armor in order for some pay."

Alistair and I looked at each other and smiled. Things were definitely looking up for the Ferelden Order. The Peak already seemed to be shaping up and so far all it had been was just talk of change.

"We'll have more Grey Wardens in the making in no time if everything works out."

We talked a bit more about Levi's family getting here but all it seemed to require was an okay from Levi and they would head out so there wasn't much planning to be done.

"I think I'm going to head to bed for tonight, Warden. It's been quite an exciting day."

All of the day's happenings had gotten to Levi and he did indeed look ready for sleep.

"We can look for more tomorrow if you want. Just come and find me."

Levi turned and smiled at me, holding the now sacred journal up.

"I don't think it will get much better than this, Warden. Thank you."

Levi nodded at all of us and then left the room with his treasure held carefully in his hands.

I decided it was time to move on as well and said my good nights all around. I still felt out of place with Leliana beside me and nothing to say to her, so I decided to end the night in good spirits.

"On that note, I believe I'll go pay Wynne a visit and tell her to bring some of those books she loves so much with us to Denerim."

I got up and repeated my good nights and left the kitchen, Mabs in tow.

Leliana felt herself frown, watching me leave the room.

_I will just have to speak to her tomorrow._

_I'm not going to interrupt her time with Wynne._

_There's always tomorrow._

Shmooples woke up just in time to distract Leliana from her thoughts and poked at her hand for scraps. While she fed him from her bowl, Zevran began an exciting tale from his assassin days and my absence was no longer such a sore spot as she listened in.

* * *

I walked towards my room in the Peak, never intending to see Wynne at all tonight. She was my easy escape and now I could concentrate on nothing but the mission, which is what I needed to do. Remember who I was and that I was there to lead, nothing more.

Mabs walked into my room before me and laid down on the blankets I'd set out for him. His belly full, he was ready for dream time but I was still far from that. I had gotten plenty of sleep the night before and I was restless, thoughts of two certain women floating through my head. Unwanted, yet still there.

"Sod this."

I searched my belongings for that last bottle of strawberry wine that I had, pulled the cork and immediately took a long pull on the bottle itself. After all, I wouldn't be sharing this with anyone again. Chances are I would empty it myself anyways tonight.

Knowing that the wine would work its magic, I felt better in a moment but I still needed to leave my room. I decided to check out the courtyard as I remembered seeing some doors out there and it was the perfect excuse so I headed out, telling Mabs to remain behind.

Just in case I needed it, I brought a torch from the pile in the front room and lit it, easily finding my way outside. It was incredibly bright outside and I knew it couldn't be from the torch. Looking up, I discovered there was a full moon and I smiled, leaving the torch behind after I put it out. I did prefer darkness to be honest. It seemed the less I saw, the better off I was.

I stumbled down the stairs through the snow a bit, the wine already taking effect and headed towards the door I'd seen days earlier. It was a simple wooden door but there was a thick lock on the handle and a quick pull on it proved it was still functioning.

Rust and force made the lock finally surrender to my will and it fell off in pieces. The door creaked open slightly and I pushed further in.

It was a room for the guards, you could tell from the simple furniture. Although it could just as well have been a servants room. There was a lopsided wooden table with two chairs in the middle of the room, an empty bookshelf behind that against the wall and a simple fireplace at the head of the room beside the table. The table was littered with dishes and empty bottles and I giggled as I pictured bored guards out here, biding their time until the shift change and drinking all the alcohol they could get their hands on.

I grabbed some broken barrels from the corner of the room and piled them into the fireplace, thinking to light a fire and warm this place up. This would be where I would spend the night. It was nice, quiet, not so much clean but it would be where I would be free of thoughts and temptations and I could just cuddle up with my wine bottle and my temporary indifference.

I shook my head and sighed angrily as I tried to light the pile in the fireplace.

"Should have brought the torch." I grumbled to myself.

Finishing my fireplace pile yielded me no way to light the fire as I'd left the torch back up the stairs. I grumbled to myself and finally decided that I would have to brave the cold again to get the torch as it was simply just too cold in here to spend the night without a fire.

I made a quick dash up the stairs again, falling once to my knees on the icy stairs. Swearing to myself, I continued on to find and light the torch and make my way back towards my newfound escape zone.

* * *

Morrigan sniffed the air, recognition stopping her in her tracks.

_The Warden?_

_Surely she would not be outside in this weather._

Morrigan took a few steps forward and sniffed again. This time the scent was stronger.

* * *

I settled down into the wooden chair in front of the fire and sighed relief. The crackling and warmth of the fire set me right at ease and I took another long pull on the wine bottle, closing my eyes for a moment in peace.

The door creaking broke my meditation and my eyes drifted to the door.

I yelled out as I saw a white wolf push its way into the room and I fell over with the chair, scrambling for a weapon that I had not brought with me.

The beast must have tracked my scent and was descending upon what it thought would be an easy meal.

My body tensed as I waited for the wolf to close in as I hid behind the chair but it simply approached me with no apparent attack plan, just watching me.

Then I noticed the eyes.

_Amber eyes_.

I could not help but say it aloud.

"_Morrigan_?"

The wolf then positioned itself by the fire and turned its back on me some, evidently more interested in the fire.

Yes, it was unmistakably Morrigan.

Only she could ignore me in this manner.

I watched her, impressed at the sight of her as a wolf, she was splendid. Morrigan was covered in a coat of glossy, white fur with slight smatterings of grey and black throughout and she stood proudly, as any predator would.

_She is even ravishing in her wolf form._

I didn't know what else to say but I recovered myself and righted the chair, planting myself in it once again with my bottle in hand.

Morrigan-wolf just stood by the fire, staring into it and I wondered aloud if she was going to stay that way.

"Morrigan, are you just going to stay... wolfy?"

I giggled as the wine gave me such courage.

The wolf turned to me and stared for a moment and I imagined that if I could have seen Morrigan's face, it would have shown unmistakable irritation as usual.

A sudden purple and black haze surrounded the wolf and then Morrigan stood before me, human once again.

I smiled, impressed by the witch's power.

"Wow...that's... I like that."

I held a silly, drunken smile on my face as Morrigan looked back at me and I could have sworn she giggled.

I prodded her.

"Did you just laugh, Morrigan?"

Morrigan turned to me and she still wore the smile.

"Warden, watching you fall from that chair was very amusing. I truly enjoyed it."

I smirked.

"I am glad that I can amuse you, Morrigan. It's my mission in life."

Morrigan turned back to the fire and we were silent once more for a bit until I found my voice again.

"It was good to see you at supper."

Morrigan simply nodded her head at me without a reply.

Another longer silence followed as we watched the new fire claim its wooden victims, hissing and crackling its approval.

I leaned into the back of the chair, taking another pull of wine and was about to offer Morrigan the other chair when I saw the dagger I'd given her in her belt once again. With all the wine in my system, there was no way I would not comment on her wearing it now.

"So you like that dagger I gave you, Morrigan? I never thought I would see you wear it."

After a bit of a silence, Morrigan answered me just before I gave up on any response at all.

"It suits me."

Morrigan closed her eyes, admonishing herself.

"_It suits me"? _

"Really?"

Morrigan found words to redeem herself.

"I apologize for not thanking you properly."

_Better._

I waved my hand at Morrigan and told her not to worry about it.

"Ah, that is just you, Morrigan. I understand."

My eyes settled on the fire again and Morrigan turned to me.

"Do you?"

The tone of Morrigan's voice startled me and I watched her then as she looked directly at me.

"Why did you give me that dagger, Detra?"

I was confused as well as quite drunk.

"You are asking me... _why_?"

Morrigan kept her eyes on me.

"Why of all things would you gift me a weapon?"

My eyes returned to the fire, thinking of an answer. The only answer.

"Magic is a wonderful ally but it never hurts to have steel at your side. And... I want you to be safe."

I shrugged at my own comment but normally this kind of admission would have set me on the edge.

Our eyes met and we held our gaze until I felt myself get out of the chair and move towards Morrigan, getting dangerously close. I felt no fear as the wine flowed through me and my actions spoke for themselves.

Morrigan stood safeguarded with her arms folded, looking uncharacteristically nervous.

_No, Warden. Do not come to me. _

Morrigan closed her eyes again as I now stood beside her.

"I do not want anything to happen to you...and a dagger can come in handy as a last resort."

Morrigan now wrung her hands together in front of the fire as the usual sarcasm she oozed was replaced by nervous energy.

_Please...no._

"No one..."

Morrigan took a breath and I waited to see if she would complete her sentence.

"No one has ever... given me a gift without a price, Warden. You must wish for something in return, of course."

I felt sad she felt the need to offer me a gift in repayment but I needed to humor her for just a moment.

"All right then."

Morrigan turned to me, expectant of a wish from me that she could grant with a spell.

"I wish...that you would be honest with me, Morrigan."

Morrigan shook her head, wrinkling her nose.

_You know not what you ask. Please stop._

Morrigan looked away into the fire, regaining her usual expression but fear was within.

"Ugh... You smell of wine, Warden. Are you drunk?"

My silly smile reappeared and I continued on the path I had made for myself.

"Actually it's strawberries but you still have not answered me."

Morrigan's eyes returned to the floor and she sniffed.

"Honesty is for fools, Warden. You already know this and that is why you are drinking right now."

I moved in front of Morrigan and gingerly reached for and lifted her chin with my fingers so that our eyes met once more.

_No. Please no!_

"Is it really, Morrigan? Or are you afraid of what you might say?"

Morrigan looked back at me indignantly and pushed my hand away and that was not what I had expected.

"You come at me as you have while you are drinking, Warden? Even you are not brave enough to face my wrath. Move away at once, you drunken excuse for a warrior!"

It took a moment longer for Morrigan's words to sink in but they did and I was offended.

"I am not drunk, Morrigan but tonight I am most definitely not a warrior either. I need a rest and I came out here to get one but then _you_ showed up."

Morrigan scoffed.

"And what is it that you mean by that, Warden? Are you implying that I am interrupting your night off? I will leave at once if that is what you wish."

"I did not say that, Morrigan. But you do have a way of darkening a room."

Morrigan was seething.

"You are treading deep water, Warden. I advise extreme caution."

I laughed the confident laugh of a person who has entirely too much alcohol in their body.

"Or what, Morrigan? You'll turn me into a nug? A toad, perhaps? Bring it on. I'm ready for you."

I continued laughing and waved my hands at Morrigan in invitation, enjoying this game that we had begun.

Morrigan moved quickly towards me and then I felt her palm connect with my face followed by a slight sting.

I was not prepared for that to happen and was genuinely shocked at first, then embarrassed, and then angry.

"Hey!"

"You are making a complete fool of yourself, Warden. Feel lucky that slap is all you get from me."

_Ah, Morrigan really did want to play_.

"Really now? You think that little love tap is going to dissuade me from my fun? I think not, _witch._"

Morrigan's face questioned while my palm met her cheek, delivering the same as she'd given me and I roared with laughter.

"Ha ha! Now we are even, witch!"

I had never seen a look on Morrigan's face as she wore now and if I had been sober, I would have run from the building. But I did not, even as she bolted forward towards me.

Morrigan swung her hand again at my face but my reflexes were still quick enough and I caught her by the wrist.

"Now what? I've got you!"

I knew Morrigan would simply either swing the other arm or just electrify me to death so I waited. Sure enough, here came her other hand which I also caught and I held her in place, catching her gaze.

"_No more._"

I pulled Morrigan towards me by both wrists and I kissed her with all my drunken might, her body slightly against mine.

We parted just seconds later and I gasped for air, discovering the fatal mistake I had just made. I spent the next few seconds trying to distance myself far from it, Morrigan's expression scaring me now as it should have earlier.

Morrigan caught me as I turned away and I had just a second to take in her beauty as she moved towards me, kissing me right back full on the mouth.

Both of us gasped and backed away from the other just a bit, staring in shock. When I did not see regret in Morrigan's eyes, I lunged right back at her and we landed against one of the structure's wooden beams, my lips pressed into Morrigan's and my hands fell against her body just as tightly. I wondered if I was the first woman to feel Morrigan's tongue inside her mouth but those thoughts soon tapered off as more important things began happening.

Morrigan returned the lust that I was giving to her two fold as her hands around my waist pulled me against her tightly and her hands began wandering immediately, up my back and my neck and then down my front, stopping there for quite a bit.

It took several minutes for my mind to catch up with the unfolding events and my body was alive in her arms but this was still like a dream.

Never did I think I could reign the mighty Morrigan in.

Time seemed to slow down as I felt Morrigan's fingers working at the strings on my shirt, loosening them for removal and she slid her chilly hands up the front in order to fully remove it, pulling it off over my head.

My own fingers sought out release of her clothing as well and soon both our tops were thrown to the side with us molded together beside the fire, our hands wildly exploring the others body. Our pants came off swiftly after that, kicked off and aside, shoes following.

I still had Morrigan against the beam and I worked my thigh in between her now exposed legs and received a moan in return. As I moved against her, I gasped myself as she was considerably wet and I could feel her throbbing need just inches away.

I licked my lips as I watched Morrigan's reaction first hand as she groaned at my intrusion, opening her legs a bit more to allow me a better angle.

I heard myself groan in response and Morrigan's breath was ragged in my face suddenly, a look of lust in her eyes.

Morrigan moved us off of the beam and reached behind us and with one quick movement of her arm, swept most of the items off of the table behind us, continuing the fluidity of her movements by lifting me onto the edge of it and then pressing me down into the table with her own body. I barely noticed the clatter of all the dishes as they fell to the floor as Morrigan mounted me and found my lips again.

Morrigan's forcefulness excited me and I gasped, relinquishing all control to her, the alcohol helping with that.

"_Yes..."_

My legs opened around Morrigan and I felt her against me, her warmth and wetness becoming one with my own, my heart pounding in my head.

"_Morrigan...take me."_

Morrigan moaned her approval of granting my wish and each thrust against me made me shudder and fight continuously for air.

"_Detra_..."

Our movement anxious, we rocked against one another, clinging and sweating and crying out until finally that moment came. I felt Morrigan dig her nails into my shoulders as I saw white flashes before my eyes, pleasure traveling the entirety of my body and time seemed to slow.

Moments of stillness regulated our breathing and my hands stroked Morrigan's slick back as she nuzzled my neck. Morrigan moved slightly now and then and I groaned, still extremely sensitive to her touch as we were still in the same position. My lips found Morrigan's shoulder as her own lips were unreachable right now.

I felt closer to Morrigan than any other woman I had shared my bed with at this very moment and so very relaxed and my mouth continued on to make a very bad mistake.

Not the usual kind either.

"_I love you."_

I could feel the words fall from my lips, feel myself try to grasp them and pull them back as they emerged into audible noise but I could not get them back.

It was done.

All movement of our bodies ceased and I felt Morrigan take a deep breath, not letting it out.

Morrigan pulled away and looked at me.

"What a silly thing to say, Warden. 'Tis only lust and not love that you feel. Love is a dead end that leads to no place that I would chose to be. You... should have been well aware of this."

I was on a precarious cliff right now and I could not get any clear words from my mouth, stumbling over meaningless rubbish but could not stop insisting on the one thing that would chase Morrigan away.

My feelings.

"You cannot presume to tell me how I feel, Morrigan. Can you tell me you feel nothing?"

"What I felt, Warden, was just a moment ago. As pleasant as it was, it does not obligate me further."

Morrigan separated herself from me as if she had just finished some meaningless task and began locating her clothing, dressing as she found it.

I sat up on the edge of the table.

"_Obligate_? What..."

I shook my head as Morrigan ignored me and continued dressing, obviously immune to any of my words.

"So...this is it? That's all there is?"

Morrigan faced me with such denial in her eyes.

"Love and beauty are fleeting and have no meaning. Power has meaning and survival has meaning, but love is an abyss that I would never look upon."

Morrigan was completely attired once again and I stood up, anger boiling over.

"I do not accept that, Morrigan! I know that you feel..."

Morrigan interrupted me.

"What you think you know and what actually is are two different things, Warden. You seem to confuse feelings all the time and that- that will be your downfall."

Morrigan was smug as she looked back at me, exuding ten times her usual sarcasm as her arms folded in her defensive stance.

I felt my heart shatter in my chest as I looked into Morrigan's now-dead eyes. She had closed off to me now and she did not care that what she was saying was tearing me apart.

"You are sodding heartless, do you know that?"

Morrigan smirked.

"And you, Warden, are a woman-chasing fool."

After what Morrigan and I had just shared, my brain imploded with the bite of the words she was speaking to me and I felt like slinking from the room into the darkest possible shadows.

_How could she act like this?_

_What is wrong with her?_

When I did not reply to her but continued to stare like a wounded Mabari, Morrigan turned towards the door.

"I believe the time has come for us to part company, Warden. There is nothing further that I can provide for you."

Morrigan had gotten and taken what she had wanted all along and now she was finished with me it seemed. Even I have not ever been so callous towards any woman.

The same woman whose mouth I had just kissed minutes ago disgusted me as I looked upon her. I was seething with fury and then I gave her what she wanted to hear.

"Go on then, Morrigan. _Run. But don't you ever look back._"

Morrigan's eyes flashed at me and she slowly turned away.

"As you wish, Warden. I shall be gone tonight."

After she was gone, I got up and found my clothing strewn about and put it back on. My mind was a black hole of nothingness until I felt fire in my veins and flew into a rage, throwing the table to the other side of the room and then smashing some boxes, falling to one knee in despair.

I slumped back down into the chair after righting it, the ghost of Morrigan's touch holding me hostage and tears seeped from my eyes as I held myself for comfort and reached for what alcohol was left in the bottle that had spilled onto the floor. I don't remember much else after that.

_Maker help her if I ever see her again._


	22. Chapter 22

I could not feel anything. My mind was blank and my body was numb as I stood in Morrigan's doorway. Her room now lay empty.

True to her word, Morrigan had disappeared, leaving not a clue as to where she may have gone. The only thing she'd left behind was the Aodh axe that she had favored using and I turned away from looking at it leaning against the bed, never wanting to see it again. Tears formed behind my eyes but I could not let them out.

I just could not do it anymore.

Unknown how I got there, I arrived in my room and without another thought, I crawled under the sheets and pulled them over my head.

* * *

"Detra, it's time to get up. We're leaving today." Wynne said, entering my room after knocking and getting no reply.

I did not stir on the bed and Wynne walked closer to me, raising her voice a bit.

"Detra! We are leaving today,"

Wynne still received no response from me and she shook her head.

"I suppose Alistair or Leliana could wake you up before I could. I'll send them in a bit."

* * *

Leliana walked into my room an hour later, shaking her head at how I was sprawled under the sheets.

_I wonder how much alcohol she had last night._

As Leliana cleared the other side of the bed, the empty wine bottle on the side table answered her silent question and she took a seat on the bed. Just then I turned my head to face the side she was on and Leliana paused, watching me.

_I remember waking up with you._

Leliana leaned over me, memories washing over her and she smiled.

"Detra, it's time to get up."

Leliana put her hand in the middle of my back and slowly rubbed, trying to rouse me. I mumbled something in return, having half woken up but all I did was turn my head back in the other direction.

"Detra..."

Leliana liked the idea that she could put her hands on me again and her hand wandered to my shoulder, slightly nudging me to wake.

Finally I moved and my arm spread out next to me.

"_Morrigan..."_

Leliana froze in place at the mention of that name and considered what it meant.

_Did she just..._

_Dear Maker._

Leliana removed her hand from my back and my arm stopped searching the bed beside me and I still was not even awake. Leliana's head went off into a daze until I stirred, mumbling some incomprehensible words and she suddenly stood up from the bed, moving quickly towards the door and out into the hallway.

_No, it can't be... She wouldn't._

_Would she?_

Leliana sidestepped into the wall, grabbing hold of it to steady herself after the vision she had just seen in her mind.

_Had they..._

_Oh Maker._

Leliana leaned into the wall, covering her face and after a moment, running her hands back through her hair.

_What am I... _

_what happens now?_

Leliana sighed again and rubbed her forehead, despondent.

Wynne was approaching from down the hallway but Leliana didn't notice her just yet.

"Did you get Detra to wake up, Leliana? It's almost time for us to leave."

Leliana was bankrupt and could not think as she threw her hands up at Wynne.

"I... I have to go finish packing."

Leliana left Wynne standing in front of my door and she walked away quickly, shaking her head.

Wynne walked through my doorway and pondered what was going on with Leliana.

"I guess it's up to me then."

Wynne walked into my room just as I turned over onto my back and I noticed her as my eyes opened halfheartedly.

"Wynne...what time is it?"

"It's time to leave is what it is, Detra. Why are you still in bed? Are you ill?"

I rubbed my face and head and sniffed.

"You could say that."

My head was pounding from the ridiculous amount of wine I had consumed and the immediate return of the previous nights events to my memory were only sealing the deal of misery that this morning brought for me.

"Are you truly ill, Detra? We can always..."

"No, I'm fine, Wynne. Just give me a few moments and I will be ready for Denerim."

Wynne nodded and walked out of my room, leaving me to pry myself out of the bed and locate my clothing and armor.

My stomach was up in my throat and I had to keep swallowing to avoid vomiting but somehow I managed to gather what little I had in the room and make myself look presentable. With a deep breath, I collected myself and my belongings and headed out to meet up with the rest of the group, now already out the front door.

Alistair approached me as I exited the Peak, concern in his voice.

"Hey, are you all right? Wynne said that you're sick."

Not at all in the mood for any conversation, I waved him away.

"I'm fine, Alistair, thank you. Just a late start is all."

I kept my mind blank to avoid any unnecessary expressions and walked to our sleigh, depositing my things and then hooking myself up to it. Sten would enjoy my company today as I would not talk his ear off. I simply had nothing to say.

Oghren tucked his flask in his belt and laughed.

"Strange question for me to ask, but where's Morrigan?"

"Yes, where is Morrigan? I went by her room and she wasn't there," Alistair added.

As I knew they would, everyone looked to me for clarification. A moment was needed to collect my thoughts and then I answered them.

"If Morrigan is not here, then she has made her choice. Now let us get a move on before we start losing daylight."

Leliana shuddered as she lifted her pack onto her back.

_Maker... something really did happen between them._

_If Morrigan left... it was not something good._

Alistair made some more comments but Wynne grabbed his arm, shaking her head and leading him back to the others. She knew something had gone wrong, especially after what Leliana had told her of Morrigan and knew it would be revealed in time without prodding.

Everyone looked a bit puzzled by my behavior and lack of greeting, but I did not realize this. I was in no shape to care much about opinion right now. Everyone finished gathering in the courtyard and we set off towards Denerim.

It was easy to steer the sleigh back down the hill through the snow and for the first couple of hours as well. Once we were at lower altitude, the snow disappeared and we were once again in wooded areas, having to steer around rocks and fallen trees and other obstacles as they came up.

We went several hours before Alistair called for a break and I begrudgingly agreed and unhooked myself from the sleigh and headed to the small lake near us to refill my canteen. As I was bent down, I heard crunching footsteps behind me and said a silent prayer that it was not someone to speak to me.

It turned out to be Sten and he did indeed ignore me as usual for which I was grateful. He was quick, simply filling up his canteen as well as splashing cool water on his face and then he was gone again.

I considered asking Oghren for more alcohol because my head was still full of thoughts I shouldn't be thinking. Tears seeped from the corners of my eyes and I splashed water on my face, not wanting to acknowledge them.

Leliana watched me kneeling in front of the water and grimaced, wanting to approach me but having nothing she could say to me now. She resigned herself to taking Shmooples for a walk, telling herself not to care and that I had made my choice as well.

Alistair finished replacing the food pack into the sleigh and then informed us that he now needed to refill his canteen. Everyone was waiting on him and I walked back to the sleigh and Oghren was busy hooking himself up into it.

"I'll pull again, Oghren. Don't worry about it."

Oghren's eyes lit up as he was able to get out of a responsibility without even so much as having to give an excuse and he separated from the sleigh.

"Uh, are you sure, Warden? I can..."

"No it's fine."

At least he tried to care.

When it would be Alistair's turn to pull the sleigh, it would be then that I would take another duty. He would not allow me to stay silent and would press me for what was wrong and I just could not have that right now. Alistair was my friend, a good friend, but there are just some things that you cannot share. And he would never understand about Morrigan. To him she was just an apostate, a maleficar to be eradicated.

No, talking to Alistair wouldn't do.

Speaking of, Alistair returned to the sleigh and we were finally able to set off again and now it was Zevran and I pulling the sleigh. Zevran had many faults but one of them was not putting his nose where it didn't belong, at least not today. He was silent beside me for quite a bit of time until he began singing, which actually startled me. It was in another language, most likely Antivan and I didn't understand it but it sounded beautiful all the same.

Alistair fell behind to ask Zevran what it was and it was some song he'd heard in the whorehouse, when he was younger. He wasn't sure what it meant either but he liked the way it sounded.

Alistair laughed.

"What if you're singing about being a whore, Zevran? Aren't you afraid it means something... dirty?"

Zevran smiled.

"And why would that make me afraid? I live for the 'dirty', as you call it and there is nothing wrong with being a whore, Alistair. Some of the best women that I've known were whores. Just imagine if your life had been different, you could have been there with me."

Alistair's shocked expression caused Zevran to laugh and the sound did me good, causing other thoughts in my head besides the bad.

"Oh you would have loved the whorehouse, Alistair. So many skills, so much time and so many women and men."

Alistair was blushing as usual and decided to end the chat with Zevran there, moving back to the middle of the party.

That was the extent of any talking until we took another break four hours later for lunch. This time I took my leave of the group and drew my sword, approaching a shapely tree.

_This will do._

While the others ate and drank and laughed, I stood alone, honing my swordsman skills against an unarmed wooden opponent, not feeling up to eating one bit. My head was still sore and just the thought of food turned my stomach so training it was. Mabs came to lie beside me and watched as I grunted and attacked the tree with everything I had left, over and over.

* * *

"What is going on with her today?" Alistair asked through his mouthful of sandwich.

Wynne took a quick peek at Leliana and from her reaction, she knew that whatever had happened, Leliana was privy to it as well.

"Some days are just better than others, Alistair. I'm sure there's no need for worry."

Alistair kept munching his sandwich and watching me, not satisfied with Wynne's explanation.

"I've never seen her like this though. Something must be wrong."

Leliana picked at her sandwich and her appetite was as big as mine so she just resigned herself to her canteen, sipping and having thoughts she didn't want.

"It's best to leave things alone until they have blown over." Wynne said.

"What? So that means that you know something happened? Did it have to do with Morrigan?" Alistair asked.

The sound of that name brought the one bite of sandwich back into Leliana's throat and she winced.

"I didn't say anything happened, Alistair. Just that if something had, it would be best to discuss later and not on the road." Wynne recovered.

Alistair frowned.

"I don't like that one bit...one of you must know what happened. Leliana, do you know what's wrong with Detra?"

Leliana did not want to be included in that sentence and she shook her head, her mouth full of water, hoping Alistair would leave her out of it.

"Well I don't care what any of you do, but I'm going to go and talk to my _friend_ and make sure she's all right. You may be able to ignore it but I _won't._"

Wynne rolled her eyes but had no words to stop him as Alistair stood and walked over to where I was beating the tree senseless.

* * *

I heard footsteps approaching again and whatever was left on inside of me, I shut down, not wanting to share anything right now.

"Detra? Do you want something to eat? There are plenty of sandwiches..."

I cut Alistair off between puffs and sword strikes, knowing what he was up to.

"Thank you, but I'm fine right here."

I could still see him standing near me and knew it was going to take more to get rid of him this time.

"Are you all right, Detra? I can tell something is wrong."

I turned to him and did my best to smile somewhat.

"I am fine, Alistair and I would appreciate some breathing room."

I turned back to the tree and felt Alistair now behind me, not heeding a word I'd said.

"But we're friends, Detra, and I care what's wrong with you. Everyone thinks I'm stupid but I know something is bothering you." Alistair said.

I fought hard to swallow the lump that formed in my throat and the emotions that threatened to erupt if I didn't get them under control.

_If he touches me, all is lost._

I moved forward, away from Alistair and froze my emotions in place once again and it took all of my strength.

"Alistair... please. Not now, not today." I whispered, hoping he understood the pain I was in right now.

Alistair did not move towards me and I held my breath as I waited for his reaction.

"Just remember that I'm your friend, Detra. No matter what."

I let my breath out as I heard Alistair leave and was overjoyed that I had kept it together in front of him. I could never allow my defenses to be breached again, not by anyone, no matter what the situation. I am a Cousland and a Grey Warden and those are the only things that would define me from this point on.

_Never again_.

I moved further into the trees and what little I had in my stomach came up forcefully, my body reacting to the thoughts in my mind. When the retching stopped, I dropped at the base of the tree and closed my eyes, waiting for the others to be done so that we could move on.

* * *

"Back up, back up!"

Sten yelled from the front of the party as arrows whistled past our heads.

My sword drawn, I took cover by the nearest rock, plotting a course of action.

"Hey, those are Dalish elves! Why are they fighting with _us_?" Zevran yelled above everyone else.

I peeked out above my rock and managed to spot a figure up in one of the trees. He was indeed an elf but I wondered how Zevran knew they were Dalish. Then again, I'd never seen a city elf climb a tree let alone use a bow and arrow efficiently. I figured at this point, they'd already attacked us so talking wouldn't do. It would take something drastic to gain their ear. There was another elf in a tree that was closer to our party and I moved quickly to find Wynne in nearby cover.

"Wynne! Can you hit that elf up there with some spell to knock him out of that tree?"

"Well, yes, but what are you planning? Surely not just running in there to retrieve him?"

I just stared back at Wynne and she sighed.

"Very well but be careful, Detra! Better yet, why not take someone else with you?"

"I will be fine. Now let me move back into position then I will signal you when I'm ready!"

I hurried back to my previous hiding spot and surveyed the area under the tree. Yes, sufficient cover there, at least for a few moments anyhow.

I signaled to Wynne and I saw a bolt of electricity travel from her staff to the tree and took off running as I heard the elf cry out in pain and heard him falling down through the limbs of the tree. Arrows followed me as I made my way under the tree and saw the elf lying on the ground, struggling to get up. I grabbed him by the front and hoisted him up then pulled us both behind the tree, out of arrows reach.

"I have your man here! I suggest you not fire another arrow unless you want his throat slit now!" I yelled, my sword at the throat of the elf in my grasp.

The arrows stopped and I was able to concentrate on my captive now, holding my sword closer to his throat, hoping that he felt threatened enough to answer.

"Who are you and why are you firing on us without provocation?"

"Can you not see we are elves, shemlen?"

"I can see that you are elves but we've done nothing to you. Why attack us?"

"Because you are shemlen."

"That's it? That's why you attacked us? You are Dalish, are you not?"

"What of it, shemlen?"

"Were you not instructed by your Keeper to aid the Wardens in the fight for Denerim? Last time I spoke with Lanaya, she had sent out word that all Dalish that were available would help us."

The elf was quiet for a moment.

"You are... a Grey Warden?"

"Yes and my companions and I are on our way to Denerim now. Or we were until you attacked us."

"You know our Keeper?"

"Yes, and I knew your Keeper before that. Zathrian, and his...untimely end."

The elf was silent for another bit.

"All right, I yield. I will tell my companions that you mean us no harm."

I released my grip on the elf and he turned to me.

"We do not mean you harm and had you given us a chance, we would have told you that."

The elf smirked and he instantly reminded me of Zevran.

"Surely you know the dangers of giving chances, Warden. Especially out here in the Wilds."

The elf walked from behind the tree and as I followed him, I heard him whistle. Within a minute, we were joined by five of his companions who looked at him questioningly.

"These are the Wardens that we are helping. The ones that Keeper Lanaya has spoken of."

There were nods and grunts of understanding between all of them and soon I was also joined by my companions as well.

"So what's going on then?" Zevran inquired.

The Dalish elves looked Zevran over for a moment or so, perhaps wondering why one of their kind chose to travel with shemlen and Zevran smiled.

"Yes, not all of us grow up in a forest."

"So you are on your way to Denerim now as well?" I questioned the elves.

"We are," the one that I had captured answered.

The elves began moving away in formation and it seemed they were leaving now without any sort of introductions whatsoever.

"You are welcome to travel with us if you'd like." I shouted out to them.

"We travel faster on our own." was the answer I received.

I watched after them for a moment until they disappeared then turned back to my own troops.

"Well, I guess being lifelong friends with them is out of the question."

"Why are they so far from the Brecilian Forest I wonder? That is where the clan was last time that we saw them." Zevran added.

I shrugged.

"I could not tell you that, Zevran. And they don't seem to walk to speak with us so... Let's just get to Denerim."

Our group regained its purpose now that arrows weren't flying and Oghren and Alistair walked back to the sleigh to hook back up to it.

I looked at the sky, sensing how close twilight was.

"Listen, we should just camp here for the night since it's just getting darker. We'll have the trees for cover and there is a stream close to here. I can hear it."

Tired grumbles agreed with me and everyone set about taking out the quick camp tent, one large enough for us all to squeeze into, save for whoever was on watch.

"I'm on watch tonight." I said to whoever could hear.

I wasn't really tired and after the 'fight' with the elves, my blood was pumping and I at least had something else to think about. Besides, after pulling the sleigh for most of the day, I was full of energy and not interested in sleeping.

Scouting out a perfect spot for watch, I heard a voice behind me.

"Detra?"

It was Leliana.

I had forgotten that she was even with us until this very moment, mostly because she hadn't said a word to remind anyone of her presence. I wiped the foolish look off my face and turned to her.

"Yes?"

"I can take watch tonight if you'd like."

"No, thank you, Leliana. I'm not tired and I've already got my spot picked out. You go ahead and get some sleep."

With just a hint of hesitation, Leliana turned and walked back to the others, leaving me solitary once again.

The tent went up quickly and one by one, everyone but Sten piled inside for the precious few hours of sleep before we'd finish the trek to Denerim.

* * *

Morning arrived before I knew it and I was still awake and alert as the others now piled back out of the tent.

"Ow! Alistair, watch it!" Zevran said.

"Sorry!" Alistair said after a moment.

I got some tepid good mornings and I felt like I was floating on clouds this morning since I'd gotten no sleep and I could not relax one bit.

"Who is up for breakfast? I am cooking."

Alistair yelled his excitement about breakfast as he made his way to the stream to wash up and I began locating all the cooking materials I'd need. A quick set up of rocks and twigs and a zap from Wynne and I had fire and was in business.

"Bacon and eggs today, everyone."

My cooking timing seemed to be perfect as each time a batch of eggs finished, enough hungry mouths were there waiting for them with plates.

"I love your cooking, Detra! If they really force me to be King, you have to come and cook for me." Alistair said, lovingly admiring his plate.

I laughed, for the first time in I'm not sure how long but I never answered him.

Oghren and then Wynne also commented on the food, that it was good and I think Alistair made them feel badly about not doing so beforehand with his comment.

Everyone had come up for food but Leliana and I just realized it, calling to her.

"Leliana? Are you eating?"

Leliana was off with Shmooples towards the trees but she heard me and waved my offer away without a word.

_She's probably still angry with me for the other day._

_I don't have time for this._

Shaking my head, I scooped out what remained in the frying pan and put it on a plate. I only picked at my breakfast as this floating feeling inside made me feel I had plenty of energy already and I could not concentrate on a thing because of it. Instead I walked down to the stream to wash the dishes that I'd used and to lose myself in the symphony of the stream for a bit as well.

Thankfully everyone finished off their meal rather quickly and we set about moving towards our goal of Denerim again.

* * *

"I never thought we'd make it here! What a trip!" Alistair shouted gleefully, never happier to see civilization.

We were met at the gate by some of Arl Eamon's men and they took over pulling of the sleigh from that point on and we headed on to Eamon's estate. People in the street seemed to be rushing around and they eyed us carefully as they moved from shop to shop.

The Arl greeted us quickly, wanting to have a meeting straight away about the news he had for us since we had last spoken. Alistair moaned about being hungry and I believe that embarrassed Eamon enough to serve up a meal in lieu of the meeting.

There was a whirlwind of greetings as we were led to the dining hall and all types of servants asked if we needed anything. I only remember shaking my head many times. That floating feeling had only gotten more intense since we'd arrived and I could honestly say I had no idea what was going on.

We all sat down at the dining table not too much later and Eamon ended up giving us some news about the location of the Darkspawn and how as they marched, their numbers increased as more came up from underground.

There was more talk but I just could not concentrate on it and kept requesting glasses of wine from the nearby elven servant. Soon enough, the room was spinning for me and I had to excuse myself from the table, not even sure I could make it to my room.

"Are you all right, Detra? You don't look well at all." Alistair asked, concerned for the second time today.

I shook my head at him, giggling.

"No, I'm not. I'm laying to go down now..."

I made my way out of the room, grasping the back of every other chair in the room around the table and finally made it out into the hallway. Even then, I was lost as to where I should go and had to enlist the help of a nearby elf to help me to my room. I could no longer stand on my own.

The elf deposited me on the bed in my designated room and shook his head as he left.

_Shemlen are so odd._


	23. Chapter 23

The night was a total loss and I got no sleep to speak of.

Most of the hours were spent retching into the bucket I'd had some lucky servant deliver to me and the other hours were spent sweating out all of the wine that I'd had during dinner.

If there was ever a moment in my life when I wanted it to end, it was right now.

Another hour in this bed and I could not take it any longer. I called to my servants and requested a bath and they set off to get the hot water as I struggled to remain upright on my bed.

Another servant came to replace my bucket with an empty one and I did not envy his job and I apologized to him. He looked confused but then told me that it was no trouble and asked if I needed anything else.

"No thank you."

My bath water arrived as I was tipping over on the bed and it was distraction enough for me to snap out of it and get on my feet.

All three servants left the room after pouring my bath water into the stone tub and closed the door behind them after I let them know I needed nothing more.

Removing my clothing was painfully slow but I tried to concentrate on my pending bath to get through it and I finally did. I slid down into the tub and my body shut down for the next hour or so. I don't remember anything until a knock came at the door.

"Detra! Are you in here?"

It was Alistair outside my door and I braced myself for his presence then invited him in.

"What are you doing in..."

Alistair's question trailed off as he saw I was in the tub, most likely naked, and he blushed immediately.

I splashed more water on my face and it felt good, better than anything I could remember up to this point. I just could not bring myself to care that Alistair was embarrassed. He would have to get over it.

"What is it, Alistair?"

My question seemed to bring Alistair back from wherever he'd gone and he actually answered me with a full sentence.

"We've already started the meeting for today and Eamon is wondering where you've been."

I groaned, picturing having to sit through more endless discussions of the same thing over and over.

"Oh Alistair... Can't you just bring me your notes when it's all over? I am in no shape to be seen in public."

Alistair moved closer to me.

"You are sick, aren't you? What's going on, Detra? Talk to me!"

I just laid my head back against the tub and sighed. I wasn't ready to divulge anything just yet and I felt I would need my bucket again if I did.

Water running down my face snapped me out of my muse and Alistair was now kneeling beside the tub, holding a cloth against my forehead.

"Why don't you talk to me, Detra? That's what friends are for. What could be so horrible?"

Alistair's voice was soothing me and he continued to stroke my face with the wet facecloth and I didn't answer him, instead I concentrated on not feeling sick for one minute. Alistair didn't stop and I didn't want him to as I greedily accepted the attention he was giving me.

"I'm going to go back with the others now, Detra." Alistair said quietly. "I'll tell them you're ill and cannot make it to the meeting but I'll check on you later."

Alistair stood and then smiled.

"Unless you'd like me to have Leliana check on you instead."

The need for my bucket drew near and I grabbed Alistair's hand.

"Dear Gods, no. Don't tell Leliana anything. _Please_."

Alistair nodded and was sure now that my problem stemmed from Leliana and that we must be having romantic trouble.

"All right, but you've got to tell me what's going on sooner or later, Detra. Holding it in will just have you... Well, ending up like this."

I nodded, anything to get out of talking for right now and Alistair left the room, again promising to check on me later.

I settled back into the tub, praying that I never saw another bottle of wine or a woman again.

* * *

"Where is Detra, Alistair?"

Alistair took his seat at the table again and answered Eamon.

"She's not feeling well at all, Eamon, so I will let her know what comes of our meeting later on."

Eamon nodded.

"Oh, I hadn't heard she was ill. That's fine then. Does she have everything she needs, Alistair?"

"She has everything she needs right now."

Alistair's gaze fell on Leliana as he wanted to know what she thought of me being sick and he caught her eye for a moment until she looked away, a bit stunned.

_Why is Alistair looking at me when he talks about Detra?_

_Did she say something to him?_

While Leliana's mind veered off in a different direction, the others who were present joined Eamon in discussing continued fortification of the city against the Darkspawn attack.

"We may just have to forgo the Landsmeet if the Darkspawn get here sooner. As it is, the nobles are not scheduled to be here until tomorrow. I have heard that there will be a low profile meeting at the Gnawed Noble Tavern not long after they are to arrive. This is where we will need to sway votes and find out what the general consensus is."

"What are we going to say to these nobles that they'll believe? Loghain has probably filled their heads with lies already." Alistair said.

"That's the point, Alistair. To get them hearing other points of view besides Loghain's and his accomplices."

"Do we have to get dressed up for this?" Alistair groaned.

Eamon shook his head.

"Well, yes, Alistair. You _will _be meeting with nobles and we need to make the best impression that is possible."

"May I suggest that we get there early and try to get each noble alone so that they do not feel pressured by the other as to what opinion is acceptable." Wynne said.

Eamon was pleased.

"That is a splendid idea, Wynne. The earlier, the better in my opinion. I will, however, have to sit this one out as I cannot be sure what plan Loghain has up his sleeve."

Alistair nodded.

"Yes, in the interest of your safety, Eamon, I insist you stay behind. I'm sure we can handle this little assignment."

"So since this will be at night, I would advise caution. Loghain's agents may be out and about and darkness provides cover for his agenda."

"So we use the darkness to our advantage then." Leliana said.

"Yes, and it's not as if there will be no guards around. We will be fine." Alistair said.

"Do you think Detra will be well enough to join you at the tavern?" Eamon asked.

"As it's not until tomorrow, I don't see why not. She should be feeling better soon." Alistair answered.

"Excellent. Then we have our first plan in place." Eamon said with a smile.

The servants began bringing wine, fruit and bread into the room as the group discussion continued on about the upcoming events.

* * *

Leliana stood at my door, unsure why she had even come.

_Am I dreaming? She won't want to see me._

"Leliana! Is Detra awake yet?"

Leliana jumped at the sound of Alistair's voice behind her and turned to face him.

"Um, I have no idea. I think I have the wrong room." Leliana squeaked.

Leliana then took off down the hall as Alistair just watched after her.

"She is a strange girl." Alistair said to himself.

Just then a small figure ran past Alistair, screaming and giggling and Alistair laughed and gave chase after Cyrocco.

I was just pulling on the last bit of clothing in my room when I heard Alistair outside and then the yelling. My head pounded a bit at this but I felt much better now than I had just hours ago. Though I still had gotten little to no sleep, most of the alcohol had worked its way out of my system and that was immensely helpful.

Now it was time to hear what the big plans were.

Truth be told, I needed to get out of my room. The memories hung in the air like stale smoke and I needed to be around others for a change, to escape them and myself.

I opened my door and saw a small boy charge past my doorway, followed by Alistair who stopped running when he saw me.

"You're up! How are you feeling now?" Alistair said with a smile.

"Much better than earlier but much less than wonderful." I managed.

"Well, at least you _do_ feel better so that's something."

I nodded, closing my door behind me and joining Alistair as he walked towards a woman who resembled Goldanna. As we drew closer, I found that it _was _Goldanna.

"The kids are here? And Goldanna?" I asked.

"Yes! I had Eamon get them right in here as soon as we arrived. They've been here since yesterday."

"Ah, well it's good that they're safe. How have they been doing?"

"They've been doing great since we were last here. Goldanna has paid off all of her old debts, which really wasn't much, and then paid off the house as well. But I'm certainly not going to let them stay there, especially once I'm King."

We had almost reached Goldanna and Alistair tapered the conversation off.

"Goldanna, you remember Detra, right?"

Goldanna nodded her head at me in greeting and I did the same, grateful she was a woman of few words. She looked much healthier this time and she actually had color in her cheeks as well as meat on her bones. Her clothes were not full of holes either and she even stood taller than I'd thought she was.

"Boys! Come say hi to Detra!" Alistair yelled down the hall.

Cyrocco and Drachen scampered up the hallway, giggling and poking at each other and waved to me.

"Hi!" both boys said in unison and then they took off running down the hall again, laughing louder than ever.

The boys looked great as well. Their clothes were brand new and they now resembled what boys their age should look like, instead of happy little skeletons with holes in their shoes.

"So what did Eamon have to say, Alistair? No time like the present to hear about it."

"Basically all he ended up saying is that we are setting up traps around the city for the Darkspawn and that we are supposed to speak with some nobles the day after tomorrow. Something about swaying their Landsmeet votes."

"Is this an official meeting or one that he's not supposed to know about?"

"Unofficial. It's at some tavern in town... Gnawed Noble."

"That's a strangely appropriate name considering we'll be gnawing at their ears with our words."

Alistair giggled at my joke and I was even surprised by it myself.

"Maybe we should call it the Nagged Noble instead." Alistair laughed.

I giggled along with him but then my head throbbed again, reminding me that I shouldn't be having any fun.

"Still not feeling great?"

"Just an aching head still. But it's my own fault with all that wine."

I rolled my eyes at the mention of wine and promised to never touch it again.

"Well listen, Eamon said dinner would be served within the hour so we can all head into the dining room if you'd like." Alistair said.

I nodded, hoping there would be water to drink. I was pretty dehydrated now.

Alistair herded the kids into the dining room and by the time he had them seated, Eamon had arrived as well.

"Detra, are you feeling well now?" Eamon asked.

Thankfully I was able to respond to him like a normal human being this time.

"Yes, Eamon. Thank you."

"Has Alistair filled you in about what we discussed earlier?"

"Actually yes. He told me of the nobles you wish us to speak with. The ones who will basically decide for or against us at the Landsmeet."

Eamon nodded.

"Indeed. They have much power over this city but now I know that at least two of the five hold the same opinion we do of Loghain and his plans."

"Two out of five are good odds to start with." I said.

"Yes," Eamon rubbed his chin. "But I would rather we garner all of the support that we can though. Having full control of the Landsmeet will greatly improve our odds against Loghain."

I nodded, not knowing what else to add and Eamon was still thoughtful.

"Then there is also the matter of the people, who are many, and could easily turn the tide of the Landsmeet."

Eamon clapped a hand on my shoulder.

"But enough of that for now, come! Let us eat and speak of happier times."

Eamon pulled me into the room with him, his hand now across my shoulder and I politely followed until I'd found my seat.

My seat was next to Alistair and he had his hands full helping Drachen cut up his meat while Goldanna had charge of Cyrocco's plate on the other side of him.

"Hey! How about some duck?" Alistair smiled, waving a plate in front of me.

My stomach was still uncomfortable with the idea of food but it was nothing like before. I shook my head and opted for a tall glass of water instead, gulping it down like a fiend.

My thirst sated, I watched as the rest of our group funneled into the room and took their seats. Sten actually took a seat far from the others and piled some food onto his plate. I guess even he was not brave enough to segregate himself from the group as he normally did in camp. That, or he was getting a little too used to our ways and might actually be accepting of them now.

How cute and odd at the same time.

Wynne entered the room and then Leliana was right behind her followed by a belching Oghren, who actually excused himself upon seeing that the Arl was present in the room.

Wynne took a seat and Leliana took the one right next to her and I saw them share some quiet words.

_Well at least she's talking to someone._

I perused the goods on the table and actually picked up some grapes and some cheese, finding them thankfully suitable to eat in my state.

Slowly but surely, the group exchanged ideas about which was better-the duck or the chicken. That was about the extent of the thinking for the night. I can only imagine how much talk had happened earlier when I'd been lucky enough to excuse myself due to my hangover. I was glad I'd only gotten the short version from Alistair.

Something running across the table caught my eye and I jumped up, pointing.

"What was... Did you see that?"

Alistair was looking at me in the strangest way and he put his fork down, leaning over to me.

"Are you all right, Detra? I don't see anything."

I slowly sank back into my chair and shook my head. I knew that I had seen something run across the table but there was nothing there now.

I could feel several pairs of eyes on me then and I looked at all of them.

"What? What are you all looking at? Do you think me crazy? I tell you, I _saw _something!"

A hush fell over the room and I felt horribly out of place. Not even Alistair beside me could remedy that.

I opened my mouth but I had no words, I had no idea what to say to any of them. I had no idea what I was even doing right now but I knew I wanted to leave.

Shaking my head, embarrassed as ever, I moved around the table and left the room, hoping everyone would just forget what they'd witnessed.

Alistair watched Leliana stand from her seat and look after me but Wynne pulled her back into her seat by the arm, whispering something to her.

_Why is Wynne stopping her? Maybe that's just what Detra needs._

Leliana and Wynne shared some more words and then Wynne excused herself from the table and left the room, leaving behind a confused Leliana.

_What is going on around here? It seems everyone has secrets._

_Detra has to tell me what's going on, and soon._

* * *

The knocking on my door only continued and finally I gave in, knowing it wouldn't go away.

"What is it?"

I did not even look up to see who it was as I was off in my own thoughts, mostly ones pertaining to anything but my behavior.

Wynne sat down on the bed beside me and handed me a small vial.

"This will help, Detra."

I sat up, indignant with the fact that Wynne had accused me of having a problem that needed help.

"Help with what, Wynne? What is this?"

I shook the vial and observed its contents.

"The lack of sleep you've been getting. You haven't slept for three days I'd wager and that's why you're hallucinating."

I waved her concern away. I just wanted to be left alone, embarrassed after my outburst at dinner and I did not need her reminders.

"Hallucinating? What? That's just silly. I'm fine, Wynne."

"Do you really believe that, Detra? Or do you know that you're endangering your mission with your actions and you'd like to just forget about them?"

I avoided Wynne's eyes now and felt a sinking feeling in my stomach as I realized she was right.

I had no words.

"Don't answer, Detra, just take this. It will help you sleep and you should be well rested for tomorrow. As you'll need to be."

Still avoiding her gaze, I put the vial to my lips.

"I'll try it, Wynne but I don't think that it's going to..."

Wynne smiled as I passed out against my pillow and she drew a blanket over my still form and then quietly left my room.


	24. Chapter 24

"Detra...Detra, wake up."

I was slowly awakened by a hand on my face and my eyes fluttered open to meet the morning light.

"Detra."

Morrigan smiled at me as I froze in place, her hand still on my cheek. She was lying next to me on the bed and I could see her bare shoulders but the sheet covered the rest of her.

"Good morning."

I barely whispered my reply.

"_Morrigan?_"

Morrigan giggled.

"Who else would it be, silly?"

Morrigan slid her other hand over my arm and began to rub my shoulder, still smiling down at me.

"I...I thought you were gone! You left me!"

Morrigan never stopped smiling at me.

"'Tis nonsense, Detra. I would never leave you."

To give weight to her words, Morrigan pulled me into her arms and held me tightly. I could not utter another word, lost in her embrace.

There was a noise in the distance and I asked Morrigan what it was.

"Never mind that noise, my love. I have all that you need right here. I always have."

I smiled and burrowed back against Morrigan. She was so warm and I felt so safe with her. Everything else that had happened felt like a dream.

"Detra! Are you awake?"

I could still hear the noise and I looked to Morrigan to tell me it was okay again and she was...

Gone.

I was in my bedroom at Eamon's estate and I clutched my pillow to my chest as if it were something of great importance. The tears spilled out the corners of my eyes as I realized it was nothing more than a dream and I was here alone.

The discord I'd heard earlier still continued and I realized it was someone knocking on my door.

"Yes."

Alistair came bursting into the room, excitement on his face.

"Detra, I have some...What's wrong?"

Alistair noticed my disheveled emotional state and rushed over to the bed.

I didn't care if Alistair saw me cry, I was beyond that now. It was too late anyhow, he was already next to me.

Alistair didn't ask any stupid questions and he didn't make foolish comments. What he did do is pull me into his arms and give me a big hug, which I dissolved into almost immediately, more tears following their predecessors.

"Hey, it's all right. It's okay."

Alistair rubbed my back while I tried hard not to fall apart on the spot, struggling to choke back most of my sobs.

I actually felt more awake now than I had in days and if memory served me, I owed it all to Wynne and the potion that she'd given me the night before. It felt like everything hitting me full force now that I was awake.

I put my hand on Alistair's chest to separate us and he looked at me, concerned.

"Just what is going on with you, Detra? Are you ever going to talk to me?"

I gathered my emotions and nodded quietly. It was time to be honest with Alistair. If he was the friend he professed to be, he would not judge me or my actions.

"I owe you an explanation, Alistair. But you may not like some of what you hear."

Alistair shook his head.

"Enough excuses already."

I sighed deeply and then took a deep breath, repeating the same. I was not going to go into all of the details, just what was relevant right now. Alistair needn't know every single thing.

"Something happened at the Peak, Alistair. Before we left for Denerim."

Alistair nodded, waiting for more.

"Okay."

"Something happened with Morrigan at the Peak."

Alistair nodded again.

"Okay, and... Wait, did you two have an argument? Did you tell her off or something so that's why she left?"

I shook my head, rubbing my forehead.

"No, that's not it."

Somehow I was hoping that Alistair might guess what had happened and I wouldn't have to actually say it but his confused expression proved otherwise.

"Alistair... I...I slept with Morrigan at the Peak,"

Slowly Alistair's expression turned into a horrified glare and I could do nothing but stare back at him. The truth had been told.

"You... you... with _Morrigan?_"

"Yes, Alistair and I would appreciate some support instead of you staring at me like I'm some wild beast to be put down."

It took a moment but Alistair's glare changed from horrified to surprised, which was only a slight improvement.

"Why would you do that? I thought... you and Leliana were..."

I shrugged.

"Me and Leliana what? We weren't exclusive or anything, Alistair. We were...Well, I don't even know what we were."

My thoughts returned to the night at the Peak and the ensuing aftermath that Morrigan had left behind her. I thought time would heal my wounds but they just kept reopening with every thought.

"So why did she leave, Detra?"

I shrugged again.

"I would guess it was because she couldn't handle what had happened between us."

"That's all? She left because you slept with her? That doesn't make sense, Detra. What did she say to you?"

I hung my head, the memory clear as day in my head.

"It wasn't what she said to me. It was what I said to her."

"What did you say?"

I closed my eyes and felt the words leave my mouth again.

"I told her I loved her."

I was afraid of another outburst from Alistair but he remained quiet and I finally looked up at him and he was looking at me seriously.

"Do you love her, Detra?"

I bit my fingernail and wasn't sure exactly how to answer.

"I felt it when I said it but... now... I just don't know, Alistair. She left..."

More silence.

"Well, I can tell you one thing, she is an idiot for leaving. If you ever told me you loved me, I would be happier than... Well, you know, if I was a girl."

I managed a slight laugh but it was more than enough to elevate my mood and I wrapped my arms around Alistair, squeezing him.

"Thank you, Alistair. Thank you for not judging me."

I took a deep breath, one backed by a few hours of solid sleep and I felt a great weight had been lifted from me. Just the fact that I was no longer the only one with knowledge of what happened between Morrigan and I was enough to make me want to get out of bed and face the day.

Morrigan had left me, but I was not alone. Perhaps that was what she had wanted to happen, to see me fall apart in misery... or maybe not. I'd never know the truth now.

But all of this paled in comparison with what was happening in Denerim. Morrigan made her choice and for what it was worth, she would have to live with it. I could have no regrets, try as I might. I had wanted it to happen and I sensed it had been building for some time since she joined our party. None of that mattered now though. She was gone and it was her intent to never return, if I'd heard her correctly.

"Detra?"

Alistair's smiling face pulled me from my thoughts and I felt really good now.

"Alistair, you came to tell me something? Is there any news of Loghain or the Landsmeet?"

Alistair frowned a bit.

"Yes, there was. Eamon woke us up early this morning. Seems he had visitors at the crack of dawn."

"That early? Who were they?"

"Loghain and Arl Howe."

A rage began building inside of me and my words dripped with anger. I had not thought of those two in a while.

"Those sodding bastards...they have some gall showing their faces again. I'm going to bury them alive."

Alistair stood and suggested I get ready and meet him in Eamon's study as he hadn't heard any more than that so far.

"I will be in there soon. I just want to grab a quick bath."

The realization that I had no head ache today was long gone and only thoughts of revenge filled my head as I prepared for the battle I knew would come soon.

* * *

"Okay I'm here. What is the situation?" I said, striding into the midst of the group.

"Ahh, you're all here now." Eamon said, gesturing me further inside the room.

I saw Wynne in the room and I offered her a smile and a nod which she returned, understanding I was grateful for the sleep she'd granted me.

"All right, now just what did those two fools have to say this morning?" I asked.

"The time has come for action, Detra. Loghain and Howe have made it clear that bloodshed will not stop their plans so we need to take the fight to them. Preferably Howe's estate."

"What of the meeting with the nobles tonight? Will they still be there?" I asked.

"I have heard nothing different as of yet, but if word of how far Loghain is willing to take this gets out, I think that we will have trouble locating them after that."

Alistair and I nodded, sensing the severity of Eamon's words.

"That is why we cannot allow Rendon Howe to draw another breath and to assure that Loghain has one less accomplice under his thumb."

"Take solace in the fact that tonight will be Howe's _last_ night, Eamon. That is a promise." I said.

Eamon rested a hand on my shoulder, his expression downcast.

"I know what he did to your family, Detra. To all of the Couslands. I am so sorry for that but rest assured he will not get away with it. Justice does not always take place in court."

Eamon nodded to me and I nodded back, fully understanding.

"So what now, Eamon? Do you have a plan to get us in there?" I asked.

"Actually there are two alternatives to get into Howe's estate. One requires disguises and one requires climbing through a window. It's entirely up to your group as to which one you choose."

I turned to the rest of my troops to confer with them about which approach they thought best.

"Erlina has provided some guard disguises for us, but there are only four of them." Eamon continued.

"Who is this?" Alistair questioned, looking at the elven woman who we had not even noticed sitting in the corner.

Eamon looked grim.

"I'm afraid there is another issue at hand along with Howe. It is something of utmost importance to us and the Landsmeet."

"What is it?" I questioned, eager to get started.

"It seems that Arl Howe has taken Queen Anora captive in his estate."

Suddenly Erlina came alive next to Eamon, standing and giving voice to her concern for the safety of the Queen in her thick Orlesian accent.

"I have heard Arl Howe say that Anora would be a greater ally dead than alive. Especially if her death could be blamed on Arl Eamon."

I thought about the connection and I just couldn't make it fit.

"How exactly would they be able to blame Eamon for her death? It doesn't make any sense."

"These people, they have their methods! Some of the things I have seen Rendon Howe do... I fear for my Queen! You must save her!"

I was still skeptical.

"I do not believe for one second that Loghain would take the life of his only child. Eamon. This is a trap."

"That it may be, Detra. But we cannot afford to take that risk, not now."

"The elf is lying." Leliana chimed in.

"No, no! You must save my Queen! Her life hangs in the balance as we speak! Howe will..." Erlina advocated strongly but now on at least two sets of deaf ears.

"That is enough." I said gruffly, looking back at Leliana.

"Shall we find out the truth now?"

Leliana nodded to me and each of us grabbed one of Erlina's arms, dragging her backwards towards the doorway leading to Eamon's study as she struggled to free herself.

"What are you doing?" Eamon called out frantically, moving towards us only to be stopped by Alistair.

"Give us just a few moments, Eamon. We'll get you the truth." I said.

* * *

Leliana roughly threw Erlina into a chair as I shut the door behind us.

"Care to tell the truth now or are you not convinced yet that we are not here to fool around?"

Erlina glared at us.

"Think what you want but I will never go against my Queen."

"Ah, so what you're saying is that she put you up to this then?" I said.

"No, that is not what I said. I was barely able to escape myself when Howe took her prisoner."

Leliana walked slowly around Erlina just enough to intimidate her.

"So you're telling us that Howe took Anora prisoner but just let her handmaiden go free? The only other woman privy to the Queen's secrets and she is allowed to escape?" Leliana asked.

"If I know Howe at all, that bastard would have had you and your entire family arrested and killed just for talking with the Queen, let alone being her trusted servant."

I moved closer to Erlina who was starting to look nervous.

"Would you care to revise your statement, Erlina? I tire of this game you're playing."

"It is not a game to me! My Queen is in danger and all you can do is hurl accusations at me! I have done nothing wrong!"

I was tired of waiting for the truth to come out. I was going to take it.

I drew my dagger and shot forward towards Erlina, the dagger against her throat in seconds.

"Now listen to me, you Orlesian wench! I will find and I will kill Rendon Howe for taking the lives of my parents and he is a well known figure in this city. What qualms do you think I have about taking your miserable life right here and now unless you tell us what Anora is planning?"

I tightened the dagger against her throat.

"**Tell me now!**"

After a moment of trembling, Erlina held her hands up in surrender.

"Do not hurt me...I will tell you."

I moved only a bit away from Erlina, my face now in front of hers.

"What is the Queen's plan?" I asked, nice and slowly.

Erlina sobbed a couple of times, acknowledging her defeat and I slapped her across the face.

"I do not have time for your whimpering! The plan- _**now!**_"

Erlina sniffed and wiped tears from her eyes and now she was truly afraid, which is what I needed.

"I... I... I was to bring you to the servant's entrance in the guards' disguise and then...as soon as you reached my Queen, you would be ambushed by Howe's men. Taken prisoner and then put to death."

I moved away from Erlina, having sufficiently scared her enough to get the truth.

"Why would the Queen do something like this? Does she have such blind faith in Loghain that she cannot see his true agenda?" I pondered.

"He is...her father." Erlina offered, still sniffing back tears.

I nodded, knowing Erlina was correct. Anora would blindly follow her father to the depths of Hell if he commanded it as I would have done with my own father, had he not been murdered.

"All right, that's all we needed." I said, hoisting Erlina off the chair.

"So what of me now? Will you have me put to death?" Erlina sniffled.

"Contrary to what you believe, we are not murderers, Erlina. Your fate I will leave up to your Queen and her father."

Leliana walked in front of me and opened the door and we joined the others once again.

"It's good to have you back, Detra."

I wasn't sure how else I could respond other than a smile; hopefully that would do.

* * *

"What went on in there, Detra? I can't have you putting the life of Anora's handmaiden at risk for..."

"It's a trap, Eamon. As we said it was." I interjected.

"Exactly how do you know that?"

"Erlina was kind enough to let us know. The disguises were meant to single us out. She was to bring us to the servants' entrance, then to Anora and then we would all be captured, thus leaving you and your estate defenseless." I said.

Eamon looked to Erlina for some type of argument but the look of shame on her face told him everything he needed to know.

"I ... cannot _believe_ that I almost fell for that!" Eamon grumbled loudly.

"The important thing is that you didn't." Leliana offered.

"I suggest you keep Erlina in a cell until we figure out what to do with her." I said.

Eamon called one of his guards into the room but I stopped him.

"I would prefer we handle this ourselves, Eamon. Gods only know who else might be working against us right in our midst."

Eamon nodded, now understanding that we needed extreme caution from here on out.

"Sten, would you mind escorting Erlina to one of the cells in the basement? And make sure no one has the key but you."

Sten moved forward, nodding and took the frightened and broken elf by the arm, leading her from the room.

"Now that is taken care of...We need to figure out the other way to get into Howe's estate. And quickly." I said.

"Right," Eamon answered, unfolding a map of what looked like Howe's estate as we gathered around him.

"This window here," Eamon pointed to a section of the house. "This window will lead you to the second floor and you should find Howe... Well, I'm not entirely sure where he'll be, but I would guess the first floor at this time of day."

Now it was time to figure out who was going and who was staying and I stepped forward.

"This may or may not be such an easy task. I am guessing that Howe has dozens of hired soldiers at his disposal and we may run into some considerable opposition. I will leave this as a volunteer mission and I will take no more than three others with me."

"Well I'm going," Alistair said, stepping forward immediately.

"Count me in." Leliana said.

"I am ready." Wynne said.

"Alistair, I would prefer not to put the future King at risk so..."

"Oh forget all of that, Detra. I will always be in danger no matter where I am. I'm going and that's it."

I held my arms up in defeat. There was no upside to arguing with Alistair.

"All right, so do we all know the plan?" I asked the group.

"Get in, kill Howe and anyone else that stands in our way." Leliana said and the others nodded.

"Excellent. Let's prepare then."


	25. Chapter 25

There was a crowd of angry citizens gathered outside the Arl's estate, shouting and pushing to get to the front door and it provided us the distraction we needed to sneak past most of the guards who were caught up in it.

We made our way as quietly as possible around the estate's garden and we spotted the window that Eamon had shown us on his map.

There were two guards that we could see, but they were down at the other corner of the building so we simply ignored them, making our way up and into the estate via the trellis under the window. It was obvious by the placement of the guards that Howe and Anora thought we would simply take the bait Erlina delivered and would fall into their trap.

Lucky for us that we were not as foolish as they had hoped.

We entered the hallway and could hear several voices in the room ahead of us, most likely soldiers in waiting.

I noiselessly made my way towards the doorway to estimate how many there were and Leliana whispered loudly to me.

"Detra _**stop!**_"

I turned only to feel my boot snap the slim wire pulled across the hallway and all four of us immediately dove to the floor, narrowly avoiding the gush of flames that spew from the fire trap above us.

We heard a bell in the distance as we leapt to our feet.

"_Intruders! To arms, men! To arms!_"

It seems they were ready for us after all.

I rolled my eyes in apology to my companions but there was no time for them to catch my look. Men were already spilling out into the hallway and moving towards us.

Wynne took care of quite a few of them for us with a tempest spell which we carefully worked around and after a few minutes, only a few of the men remained. I think some even took off running seeing that we had a mage with us. They were just mercenaries after all, loyal only to their next payment.

After the coast was clear, we searched the fallen men to find one still alive to question.

"Here," Leliana said, pointing to a groaning man, pressing her foot into his chest as he tried to get up.

I made my way over and pulled the man up from the floor, slamming him into the wall.

"Where is Rendon Howe?"

The mercenary grunted through bloody teeth.

"Sod off, Warden."

"That answer is unacceptable."

I launched my fist into the man's stomach and he doubled over in pain, only to have me slam him back into the wall again.

"I don't care about you and you don't care about me but I have a mage here that would just love to turn your insides into a fine paste if you don't answer quickly. I think it would be in your best interest to just answer me."

The soldier grunted as I held him uncomfortably in place, his body pressed into the wall and his terrified eyes settled on Wynne who balanced a fireball above her hand, smiling.

"Now for the last time, _**where**_ is Howe?"

"Basement."

I dropped the man and he fell to the floor, rubbing his neck and grumbling, defeated.

"Now get out of here. Don't ever let me see you again."

He stood and then limped quickly down the hallway, in the opposite direction from where we were now headed.

There were a series of doors to go through first and then a flight of stairs and then I felt we'd reached the basement as it didn't feel as if we could go any lower.

We rounded the first corner of the basement and a guard surprised us as he turned to us.

"Who goes there? Who are..."

The guard's voice trailed off in a gurgle as arms protruded from the cell behind him and I heard his neck snap.

I gasped as I heard the jingle of keys and we heard the door creak open, the body of the dead guard now being dragged into the cell.

"Who is in the cell? Show yourself!" I yelled out.

A thin Orlesian accent drifted from the doorway.

"Give me one moment to put on some clothes and I will answer any questions you have."

I wasn't prepared for such a dignified answer. I thought perhaps it was some street rabble or the like. We waited a moment or so without another word and then a man with dark hair stepped from the doorway after the cell door creaked open, donning the guard's armor.

"I thank you for creating such distraction, stranger. I have been waiting days for that opportunity."

Alistair stepped forward.

"Hey..."

The dark haired man stepped forward as well.

"...Alistair? Is that truly you?"

"I knew that you looked familiar! You were at my Joining."

Alistair turned to me, smiling.

"He's one of us, Detra! A Warden! From Orlais, Jader I think. Or was it Montsimmard? I'm afraid I don't remember you name, friend."

The man bowed a bit before us.

"I am Riordan, senior Warden of Jader but born and bred in Highever and glad to be home. Albeit not under these circumstances."

I smiled now that there _was_ good news after all. Apparently King Cailin's plea for help had not gone unanswered.

But where were the rest of the Wardens?

"Riordan... it's good to meet you but where are the other Wardens? Are they in Denerim?"

Riordan sighed.

"I was sent when we received no word from King Cailin as to the outcome at Ostagar. The King had invited all the Wardens of Orlais and their support troops to join him and then...nothing."

"How many Wardens did you bring?" Alistair and I both questioned at the same time.

"We had one hundred Wardens and three dozen divisions of cavalry. The first we heard of Loghain's edict was when we were turned back at the border. That was when the rumor reached us that Wardens were being blamed for the massacre at Ostagar and for many other troubles as well."

"So...how did you get here if you were all turned away?" Alistair asked before I could.

"We finally decided it was safest to send someone alone into Ferelden, to learn how best to fight the Blight and this new regime simultaneously. As a native Fereldan, I volunteered for the journey."

"But then you were captured by Howe? Did he know who you were?" I asked.

Riordan frowned.

"Yes. Howe captured me with an offer of hospitality and a poisoned chalice. I was still fool enough to think Loghain didn't yet know who I was."

"So the rest of the Wardens are not even in Ferelden? The Archdemon is nearly here and we have no help?" Alistair said nervously.

"The other Wardens won't risk their strength fighting Ferelden's civil war. If they spend themselves against Loghain, there is truly no hope. They recall the accounts of the first Blight...how many cities fell because of it. If Ferelden is too foolish to save itself, then at least we will be ready when the Archdemon leads its forces further."

Alistair and I looked at each other.

"It really is up to just us then...isn't it? _Great._" Alistair said.

"Have faith, you two! Surely Riordan has some other information that can help." Leliana said.

"I hear you haven't been doing badly at raising an army yourself. I am told the Dalish elves and the dwarves of Orzammar join our plight as well as the mages of the Circle."

I nodded and Alistair looked to calm down a bit.

"That is true. Perhaps we may just crush this Blight after all with their aid." I said.

"Riordan, are these your papers? We found them when we searched Howe's study and these are Warden symbols."

Alistair handed over the papers to Riordan and he smiled.

"Yes, these are my records. Howe must have taken them from me when he imprisoned me. These are some of the names of the dead I could recognize at Ostagar and what I could find of Duncan's own recruitment records."

"Did...did you happen to find Duncan's body?" Alistair asked, his voice small.

"I did not, my friend. It was...a grisly scene. One I would never want to see again."

The three of us bowed our heads almost simultaneously, as if having a moment of silence for all of our fallen brothers and sisters.

"I did, however, manage to locate many weapons scattered across the battlefield. I took what looked still viable and as much as I could carry but I still left much behind. Once this Blight is defeated, proper accounting must be done immediately."

"I agree. We must not let the dead be forgotten." I said, putting a hand on Alistair's arm.

"What weapons did you find, Riordan? Were there any special daggers?"

"Whatever I took off of the battlefield, it should still be within my hotel room at the Breakers Inn. Unless Howe knew where I was staying and removed everything."

Alistair looked at me, his eyes wide.

"He may have picked up Duncan's weapons... "

"I will make my way to the room once I leave here to see if any of my things still remain." Riordan said.

I held Alistair's hand as I watched him drift off into thought about Duncan. He had wanted something of Duncan's to remember him and maybe he would soon receive it.

"Yes, the copies of the Joining ritual..."

Riordan was mumbling to himself.

"What's that?" I asked.

Riordan showed us some of the papers that we had given him.

"These are copies of the Joining ritual I rescued from our Denerim vault. These should never be seen by any outside eyes but I trust in their encryption."

"The Joining ritual? So... we could induct more Wardens right now then?" I asked.

"If only we could, for Ferelden sorely needs them."

"What is the problem, Riordan?" Wynne asked.

Riordan changed his stance and spoke with his hands.

"For the Joining to work, the recruit needs not only fresh Darkspawn blood, but also a drop of blood preserved from an Archdemon. Ferelden's supply should have been in the vault along with these papers, but it was gone. I can only assume someone took it out and Loghain either confiscated or destroyed it."

"There must be some way to get it back! We must find out who took it." Alistair said angrily.

"We would waste several precious hours searching with no real promise of finding it, Alistair. I propose our efforts be directed towards what we know can be accomplished and making due with what we have."

Alistair and I looked at each other again.

There were only three Grey Wardens in all of Ferelden and a Blight was coming.

"So what happens now?" I asked, hoping Riordan had an answer for us.

"This conversation is all fine and well, Sister, but I believe you should finish your task here and then we may speak later of plans."

"Will you come with us, Riordan?" Alistair asked.

"I am not in any physical shape to be fighting right now. I need to seek out a physician."

I nodded my head, feeling shameful of having kept Riordan so long.

"I'm sorry, there were just so many questions we had no answers for...We really don't know what we're doing."

"We are staying at Arl Eamon's estate here in Denerim. I am sure he would be more than accommodating to one of our own ranks." Alistair offered.

"To Arl Eamon's estate then. I wish all of you luck with Howe and we shall speak again soon."

"Will you be able to make it on your own, Riordan?"

Riordan smiled at me.

"Isn't that what we Grey Wardens do best, Sister?"

And then he was gone.

"Loghain is making this unbelievable hard. We will be lucky if this Blight does not swallow all of Ferelden with it." I grumbled.

"I can't believe there are only three of us." Alistair said.

I was angry again and it was just what I needed.

"Let us just find Howe and find out what Loghain's plans are. We need to get back to the Arl and speak with Riordan about where to go from here. And I want Howe _dead_."

We continued on through the door Riordan had told us Howe had gone through and went down a ramp that led to another door.

The soldiers waiting to ambush us were ready but they were only more hired mercenaries. They had no real place in this fight and we bested them all easily as a team.

Several bodies littered the floor and we pressed onwards, seeking an end to this nightmare that was still all too real.

* * *

My eyes settled on the man I hated most in my life...

Rendon Howe.

He sauntered closer to our party and smiled, crossing his arms.

"I knew you'd come. You Couslands are ridiculously persistent, even if it leads to your undoing."

I had no words just yet but my blood was boiling.

"I was waiting for my men to drag you down here in those ridiculous outfits we gave to Erlina, but it seems you figured out our little ploy. No matter, I shall simply do now what I would have done a bit later...tear you apart."

Howe bared his teeth at me, gesturing to the floor.

"Since the floor is sticky with blood anyhow, there will be no cleanup left to do. Save for putting your head on a pike outside of the castle when I am done with you, Cousland."

Howe laughed at his own words.

"You are vile man." Leliana seethed behind me, growling at Howe.

Howe shot a glance at Leliana and laughed again.

"Still with the whores, Detra? I thought you might have outgrown that by now."

My body burned as I stared at Howe.

I needed to know.

"Why, Howe? My father held you as a brother and this is how you repaid him? How could you do this?"

Howe offered continued laughter and cruelty in response.

"Your father could not hold on to a thing, including his wife. Did you not ever wonder why you and Fergus look nothing alike?"

My eyes bulged from their sockets with thoughts of what Howe was implying.

_No, no it couldn't be. He was simply trying to get a rise out of me_.

_Mother would rather die first_.

There _was_ no real reason other than my father had held power and Howe had wanted it for himself, that was the only explanation.

"Try again, Howe. You'll never have me believe such rubbish."

Howe laughed again, almost maniacally.

"Rubbish, what rubbish? I can clearly remember the type of wine she ordered when we'd gotten that room at the inn..."

"_**Enough!**_"

I screamed and charged at Howe, my sword poised for death and he looked a bit off guard for a moment but met my sword with his shield.

"You know that it's true, that's why you're fighting so hard. Your mother was a whore and your father was a two-bit nothing who stole what belonged to me. They both got what they deserved. I only wish I had been there to see their bodies burn."

I knew that Howe was provoking me and the truth was, I didn't care. He was going to die by my blade this day, no matter if it took my life to make it so or not.

A bolt of lightning hit my body just then and I was frozen in place and in pain and all I could hear was Howe laughing.

"I'll be sending you to see your dear parents again soon enough, girl. But for now I'd love to see you writhe in pain."

The mage that held me in my place was in the corner of the room and Leliana had already spotted her, charging with her blades drawn. Leliana's distraction bought me enough time to dodge Howe's next blade attack and to return one of my own, my blade penetrating his gut.

I twisted my blade sideways causing Howe to cry out and I was hit with another blaze of lightning that knocked me to the floor.

I saw Leliana knocked to the floor as well in the corner and I fought to get up and watched Howe be healed by his mage.

"You cannot defeat me. You are a Cousland and you will die by my hand, as the rest of your line has. That glory shall be mine!"

I shield bashed Howe away from me so I could regain my footing and then charged at him and our swords crossed many times. All Howe could do was laugh and hurl insults as I chiseled away at his defenses and prayed that my friends could take his mage down. She was causing me much grief as he received constant first aid.

"Your head on a pike, Cousland!"

More men came rushing in through the door behind me but Wynne had them down on the floor in just seconds with a sleep spell and I could concentrate on Howe once again.

I could see the anger and hatred and insanity in Howe's eyes as we battled each other and it was terrifying to see such evil within one person.

"Why don't you just _**die**_, Cousland? You cannot win!"

I dodged another lightning bolt just in time and finally saw Alistair pounce on the mage. Her defenses must have been weakened having to heal Howe and now she was paying the price of defending such a monster with her life.

This slight distraction was all Howe needed to knock me to the ground with a hit from his mace to the side of my head that I was only able to half-block.

Dazed, I stared up at him as he descended upon me, smiling that evil grin. I knew that he would stop at nothing to ensure my death.

Leliana suddenly sunk both of her blades into Howe's back and he cried out in agony, falling to his knees.

"The Maker will show no mercy on you, you evil, twisted creature!" Leliana screamed at Howe.

"Your mage won't be saving you this time, you bastard." I fumed, getting on my feet with Wynne's help.

Leliana backed away from us now. She knew this was my fight alone.

"Go to Hell, Cousland." Howe managed to whimper, holding his wounds, blood spilling over his arm.

"You first."

I kicked Howe in the face and he fell backwards onto the floor, sprawling out, blood now coming from his mouth.

"How does it feel to know you're going to die and that I will watch? Your life...ended by a Cousland. As it should be."

I put my boot into his wounds and ground my heel deep and listened to his screams, reveling in them. After a moment, the screams could just as well have been my family and it scared me enough to move away from Howe. I would not become as evil as he was.

Howe's face was contorted in pain and he knew he was dying but he could not resist being evil until the end.

"Maker spit on you, Cousland...I deserved more..."

Mother and Father, Oriana and Oren, all of our servants... all flashed through my head as I prepared my blade.

"This is for my family..."

I lifted my sword above him and sank it deep into his heart, twisting the blade.

He was gone within seconds.

There was no chance of revival now and it was done.

_The man who had taken my family from me was no longer in this world._

_Howe was dead_.

My shoulders sagged as I stared at Howe's now lifeless body and Leliana touched my shoulder from behind.

"Detra...I'm sorry."

I was deep in thought and I touched Leliana's hand on my shoulder in place of thanking her.

My friends gave me time and they backed away from the scene, letting me do what I needed to. All I saw in my head was remnants of the battle at the Cousland home, how Mother and I had run from room to room, searching. Finding Owen and Oriana...leaving my parents to die...

I choked a bit, aware my team was still behind me.

_Gods help me through this._

Finally I turned to them all and just stared, unable to speak and hoping they understood that I was ready to leave now.

"Let's go." Wynne said, taking my arm gently.

"Should we even have asked him what Loghain's plans were?" Alistair asked quietly.

"He would never have talked anyhow." I said, dazed.

"We should get back to the estate lest more soldiers come, Detra." Wynne offered.

"Yes, you're right. Let's get out of here. I've had enough of this place to last a lifetime."

Any wounds we had were healed and then we made our way out of Howe's estate, into the streets of Denerim and towards Eamon's estate.


	26. Chapter 26

We returned to Eamon's estate to find that Riordan had made it back safely and was currently being diagnosed by a physician. Eamon said that he had been told the poison Howe used was too weak to overcome the taint in Riordan's blood and the outcome looked good.

"Damn Howe and his treachery." Eamon said, angry.

"He is dead now and will bother us no more. And my family is avenged." I said, somber.

Eamon was silent for a moment, knowing that meant much to me.

"It is at least some good news to have gained another Warden out of all of this." Eamon said.

I nodded, still in the grasp of Howe's depraved words.

"There is news of the meeting. It has been postponed until tomorrow though I am unsure as to why."

There was a collective sigh of relief from our group. At least we had some more time to ourselves and to rest. The endless fighting and the slow chipping away of our enemies was enervating our spirits.

We just wanted it done.

I was quiet now and I just wanted to go to my room and change out of my bloody clothes. I never wanted to see blood again.

If only that were possible.

"I'm going to go change and bathe if that's all right." I said quietly.

Eamon looked at me and I could tell he knew what was wrong but he just nodded.

"I will see you when you return, Detra. I shall have a meal prepared and there is still much to talk about."

I nodded to Eamon and turned to leave.

I was tired of talking. I wanted the fight done.

Alistair caught me as I passed him and pulled me into a bear hug, pushing some of the air out of my lungs. He knew what I was going through but he had always known, since my Joining. Duncan had spoken of the murder of my family and Alistair, even not knowing me, had been very caring towards me.

Leliana smiled slightly as she watched Alistair hug me but her heart ached for what she knew I must be feeling.

There was nothing she could say to make any of this right.

"Easy, Alistair. I'm very fragile." I said, smiling slightly.

Alistair smiled.

"I won't break you, don't worry. We'll be here when you're done, Detra."

I made my way out of the room, not catching the look Leliana gave me.

* * *

Back in my own room, I peeled my bloody armor off and servants were there instantly to remove it from my sight, no doubt taking it to be cleaned and polished. It seemed they would need to do that endlessly; the fighting would never stop. If it wasn't Loghain, it was Howe. If not either of them, it would always be someone...

Someone would always hunger for control.

I apologized to my elven helpers for requesting they fetch bathwater again for me and they just smiled, not minding waiting on me as I was never cruel to them.

"It is no trouble at all, my Lady." Deric said.

Deric had been the first elf to ever wait on me and had seen me at my worst already...specifically the night I'd had to be dragged to my bedroom as I was so drunk. He had found me strange at first but over the past few days, he was intrigued by things he heard around the estate from the other elves, about the great Grey Wardens and such. He also liked the fact that I never barked orders at him or just assumed he would do something. I also spoke with him as if he mattered.

In his experience, this behavior from a human was rare.

The other elves arrived with the bathwater and I could not get out of my clothes quick enough, the blood bothering me.

"Will you need anything else, my lady?"

"No, thank you so much, Deric."

Deric smiled and bade me goodnight, closing the door behind him.

I heaved a sigh of relief as I was now able to disrobe and slip into the calming bathwater. I tried relaxing for a few moments but I felt as if the room was closing in on me.

It seems being alone was not as soothing as it once was.

The washcloth removed the blood from my skin but it could not remove the stains from my soul or what had transpired today. I needed to stop the thoughts. Maybe fighting wasn't so bad...

My bath fleeting, I wasted no time dressing in my plain clothes and hurrying to rejoin the others, echoes of the day not relinquishing their hold on me.

* * *

"Detra, _look_! This is Duncan's dagger! Can you believe that Riordan found it in Ostagar? Out of all the weapons that were there, can you believe he picked up _Duncan's_?"

Alistair had rushed me as soon as I reentered the dining hall and thrust a weapon at me excitedly.

I took the newly cleaned weapon into my hands.

"And you're sure this is Duncan's?"

"Yes! He always wore it in his belt and I saw him use it many, many times against Darkspawn. I can't believe it!"

"Did he tell you where he found it? Was it just lying about?"

"Would you believe that he took it out of an _ogre?_ Duncan took down an ogre himself! Riordan said that if the dagger had killed an ogre, he was taking it with him, thinking maybe it was enchanted."

Alistair was clearly thrilled with his prize and I was happy for him. Finally he was able to feel as if he had a piece of Duncan with him and not just his memories.

"Some of the elves polished it up and now it looks as if it's brand new. Just the way Duncan liked to keep it."

Alistair stared at the dagger, his eyes glistening.

"I'm glad you found something of Duncan's, Alistair. I'm sure he'll appreciate it when you use it to kill every Darkspawn you see."

Alistair shook his head.

"Oh I'm not going to use it, Detra. I'm going to have it retired and maybe make some memorial to Duncan with it, once I'm King."

It seems that all of the perks that would be available to Alistair once he was King were diluting the responsibilities he would soon have to accept in his mind and he complained of assuming his role less and less each day.

"That's a wonderful idea, Alistair. Duncan would like that."

Alistair pouted.

"I would of course rather he was here but...No, Duncan is gone and I have to accept that. But he won't be forgotten."

Eamon came down the hallway with an entourage of elves and moved in our direction when he noticed us.

"Are you feeling better, Detra?" Eamon asked politely.

"Yes, I am. Thank you, Eamon. Did you want to speak with us now?

"Yes. I need you to pick the team that you will be bringing to the Gnawed Noble tavern tomorrow. For the meeting."

"Oh? I hadn't given it much thought yet."

"Well I want to go." Alistair said.

"Then we'll need to have you outfitted, Alistair." Eamon said.

"Outfitted? What does that...Oh, you mean _dress up_." Alistair grumbled.

Eamon sighed and looked at Alistair.

"We have already gone through this, Alistair. Now please if you would, follow the elves and they will see about getting you some of my clothing. We simply don't have time to shop around."

Alistair sighed but resigned himself to the group of elves standing beside us.

"Yes, Eamon. Detra, I'll see you later."

I waved and I could hear him speaking with the elves as they walked away down the hall.

"Don't you guys go putting me in something pink now."

I laughed and Eamon brought me back to the present with his serious gaze.

"So now I need you to plan who else will be going with you so that we can set about getting them dressed for the event as well."

I thought about my teammates and decided on Wynne and Leliana; four of us would be sufficient. Oghren could not be trusted to not simply wander off seeing as how we would be in a tavern and also his social skills were incredibly lacking, those who were not used to his charm anyhow.

Zevran was about the same though his skills might be _too_ good and he might try to seduce one of the nobles. We couldn't have that.

Sten would simply have no interest in going. There would be no fighting or life or death odds. Just talking and he would hate it.

And...well, that was everyone.

Besides Mabs that is. He now spent most of his days following the servants around in the kitchen, getting as many scraps as he possibly could and I hardly saw him until he came to sleep in my room at night. But of course I would not bring my war hound to a meeting of nobles. Somehow I don't think that would bode well on the outcome.

"I think Leliana and Wynne will be good choices for the others." I said.

"Yes, I agree. Now I believe that Wynne is in the library still so I will send for her, but if you could locate Leliana, that would be helpful." Eamon said, directing the elves to the library.

"All right but where should I send her?"

"Just have her speak with any of my servants. They'll get her to the fitting room upstairs. Or just return here if you cannot find any. We should be in this area."

Eamon walked away with his elves in tow and I set out trying to locate Leliana.

_Where would she be?_

Common sense told me she would most likely be in her room but she was not there or was not answering her door. I walked down the hallway and spotted a guard. It couldn't hurt to ask if he had seen Leliana.

"Excuse me, have you seen the redhead that..."

The soldier smiled and stood at attention.

"Yes ma'am. Do you mean Leliana?"

I was a bit surprised he knew her by name but I nodded.

"Yes, that's her. Might you know where she is now?"

"Why yes- I just saw her not too long ago. I believe she said she would be out in the courtyard, training."

The solider had a mighty big smile on his face as he spoke of Leliana and I eyed him carefully.

"Thank you."

_Strange that he knows her by name and just the fact that I said 'redhead'._

_And why the big smile?_

_Hmmm._

I continued past the solider and down the many sets of steps before entering the courtyard. There were several soldiers out here but I could easily pick out Leliana, practicing at the end of the line of them.

I watched her as I made my way down the steps and could hear the little noises she made as she connected with the practice dummy and then she stopped to laugh with the soldier nearest her and they exchanged words I could not hear.

Sounds like she was certainly charming her way through the estate.

I made my way over to her as she began hitting the dummy again and I had to raise my voice a bit to get her attention.

"Oh... yes, Detra? Do you need me for something?" Leliana turned to me, breathing a bit hard.

I couldn't remember what I had come here for just this minute and had to think quickly.

"I thought you favored your bow?"

Leliana smiled at me.

"I favor whatever weapon gets the job done."

I stood there for a moment and then remembered why I was there.

"Yes, I was looking for you and... I ran into a soldier who knew you by name so... It was easy to find you."

"Which soldier?" Leliana asked, sheathing her weapons.

'_Which' soldier?_

"Well, the one stationed near your room, I guess."

Leliana smiled again.

"Oh yes, that's Kahrl. I've spoken to him many times. He's really a darling."

I looked at Leliana and the way she smiled about him. As strange as it was, I could not help but wonder if there was something going on between them or giving voice to it.

"Are you two...Well,..."

Leliana looked confused and then a bit offended.

"Are we? Are we what? Oh..._no_. I do not think his wife would approve of that."

I shrugged.

"Oh. He just seemed really happy about you... or something."

Leliana eyed me.

"We have a lot in common I found one night speaking with him. It was easy to become friends, which is what we are."

I felt foolish having even brought the subject up.

"Oh, you don't have to explain anything to me. I just... I'm actually here to bring you to Eamon. We need to prepare for the meeting with the nobles, if you're still willing to go."

Leliana nodded and said goodbye to the solider beside her, smiling.

"All right then. Let's go."

Leliana smiled to herself as we walked back towards the stairs leading into the estate.

_So you do pay attention._

* * *

"Ah, here you are." Eamon said, opening his arms towards us.

"Did you find Wynne, Eamon?" I asked.

"Yes but she has already suggested that she wear her own clothing and that she has the perfect outfit for the occasion."

I nodded. Wynne did own some lavish mage robes and any one of those would be perfectly fine.

Now I wondered what kind of dress I would be given as we were led upstairs by the servants and we entered what looked like the fitting room where we found Alistair.

"Oh my..." I said, unable to stop looking at Alistair.

"Alistair! How handsome you look!" Leliana said, covering her mouth a bit.

He was still being fitted properly but Alistair stood before us, arms up in midair for the elves, rolling his eyes.

"Can you believe this? I look like... like a bruise or something!" Alistair whined.

"What? Why a bruise?" I said, laughing.

"Because I'm all black and blue, that's why!"

I laughed hard into my hand. It was hard to take Alistair seriously when he complained like this.

"Oh sure, laugh it up, Detra. You'll get some pretty dress while I have to wear these...these bruise clothes."

Leliana was laughing too.

"Alistair, I'm sure they can arrange a dress for you if you'd prefer that."

I giggled at Leliana's suggestion but Alistair looked serious.

"You know, that may just work out better. Can you see me now, on the throne in a beautiful white gown? 'He who rules with a strong fist but with a light step'?"

Leliana and I doubled over in laughter and eventually Alistair could not keep a straight face either.

Wiping tears of laughter from my eyes, I approached Alistair.

"You are something else, Alistair." I said, still giggling.

Alistair just smiled at me and I smoothed the collar on this outfit, careful of the elves working around us.

"You know, you really do look very handsome in this outfit. Despite what you think."

Alistair rolled his eyes as he still could not move as the elves were not finished working on the outfit.

"I know, I know. But I can't stop doing what I do best- complaining."

I giggled.

"You're crazy, Alistair."

Alistair touched my arm.

"It's good to see you smile, Detra."

The elves begged pardons to interrupt our conversation and led Leliana and I both off to separate rooms to be subjected to the same that Alistair had been through.

"Good luck." Alistair giggled as we were led from the room.


	27. Chapter 27

"My lady, I have some dresses that you may find to your liking. They are just in here."

The elves led me into the room beside the one Leliana had been taken into and showed me dresses laid out on the bed.

I looked them over and found more than two of them too puffy and one very much too green for my taste. But there were two others that caught my eye- one red and one brown.

"By the way, what is your name?" I asked the elf doing all of the talking.

"My name, my lady?" the elf answered, unsure.

I smiled.

"Yes, your name. I am Detra."

The elf looked nervous at first and then he answered.

"My name is Maeric, my lady."

"Maeric? That sounds very close to..."

"Maric? Yes, I was named after our past King. I was born in the castle and my mother adored King Maric and so that is how I got my name."

I smiled.

"I like it, Maeric."

The elf smiled back at me, still a bit hesitant.

"Thank you, my lady."

I walked to the bed and touched the lone red dress that I found attractive.

"How about we start with this one, Maeric?"

"As you wish, my lady."

For the next hour or so, poor Maeric was subjected to trying to squeeze me into dresses that were not willing to accommodate my generous hips and I was not having a jolly time of it myself.

"I'm sorry, Maeric. It seems none of these dresses will have me."

"We will figure something out, my lady. There are some other..."

I interrupted him, shaking my head.

"I'm sorry, but if they are Isolde's as well, we're just going to have the same problem. She and I, we don't share the same size it seems."

Maeric looked helpless and I assured him it was no major dilemma.

"I'll go and speak with Eamon and see what else he might suggest, Maeric. Please don't worry about it. There must be stores in Denerim I can get to."

"Yes, perhaps the Arl has another suggestion or knows of someone, my lady."

Maeric and I walked from the room and Leliana stepped out of her fitting room just as we were leaving mine.

"Hey." I said, still disappointed about the dress fiasco.

Leliana looked excited as we made our way down the stairs and Maeric scooted ahead of us to give us privacy.

"You should see the dress that I'm wearing, Detra. It's beautiful! It's blue and gray with just a hint of white in the border and they found me the most gorgeous shoes to go with it!"

I smiled. At least everyone else had found things to wear.

"What color is your dress, Detra? What did you pick out?"

I frowned.

"Oh I could not squeeze into any of Isolde's dresses, none that I fancied anyhow. My large hips were not cooperating, getting in the way as they were."

Leliana giggled.

"Hips are one of the many things that make a woman beautiful, so I would not feel badly about that, Detra. I think you're hips are fine."

Leliana smiled at me with a twinkle in her eye and I was grateful for the Arl's interruption.

"So Maeric tells me that none of the dresses suited you, Detra?"

"It was not so much that they did not suit me. It's that they would not fit around this area."

I gestured around my hips.

Eamon nodded.

"Oh, I see. Well, we will have to find another alternative then."

One of the female elves stepped towards the Arl.

"Sir, I do know a seamstress who may have some suitable dresses available or she may be able to work quickly. Shall I go and see her?"

"Yes, by all means and take anyone you need with you." Eamon said.

Alistair was coming down the hall as we spoke with Eamon and he was back in his regular clothes and smiling happily about that.

"Hey! Did you two find dresses that you like?"

Leliana could not help but be excited again about her assigned outfit to Alistair as well, gushing in particular about the shoes.

"They are so beautiful! A shiny, silken blue with amber beads on the toe... so exquisite! Just like we have in Orlais and nothing like these clunky, fur-lined boots you call shoes here."

Alistair and I looked at each other.

"Oh, I did not mean any offense. It is what you need to walk around in this country, I suppose. But you will never see a finer shoe made anywhere than you will in Orlais."

Leliana's eyes glittered and we laughed watching her.

"So I take it you like shoes, Leliana?" Alistair said.

"Very much so! Can you not tell or would you like to hear about the blue ones again?"

Alistair held his hands up, laughing.

"No, I believe I know how you feel, Leliana."

Eamon looked as if he felt a tad out of place and interrupted us.

"Yes, well... Once we get you an outfit, Detra, then everything will be complete for tomorrow. If it is too late when a dress is located, I will not have my servants disturb you. We will have you try it on in the morning. I am sure there will be time for adjustments if needed."

"Oh, I would not worry about keeping me from sleep, Eamon. I am usually up late anyhow."

"Very well. We shall see what my helpers come up with then. For now, I am told that dinner is ready to be served."

"Yum!" Alistair cheered.

For once this whole week, I agreed with him.

Alistair and Eamon walked ahead of us and began talking and I watched Eamon put his arm around Alistair's shoulder and smile. It was really touching to see them getting on the way they did lately. The way Alistair had described his relationship with the Arl years ago, it sounded as if they had spent all of their time fighting. Even if that had been true, any grudges had obviously been put aside and it seems they were making up for lost time while they could.

Hard times bring about the toughest and sometimes most necessary responses.

We made our way into the most used room in the estate and everyone else was already seated at the table, laughing and eating as elves served the food.

I had not spoken to Zevran for the whole week so I paused at his seat as I walked past.

"Zev, what have you been up to this week? I've hardly seen you at all."

Zevran turned to me.

"Ah, Detra, it is good to see you. And what have I been up to? Hmm, let's see. Well I've had much fun exploring the city of Denerim since you haven't needed my services and...Have you ever heard of The Pearl?"

I laughed, wondering how long it took him to find the place.

"Yes, Zevran. We had to go and speak with someone there last time we were in Denerim."

"Ah, yes of course, I forgot. Anyhow, that place has been keeping me busy so far with its many... indulgences."

I laughed.

"Once you said where you've been, I knew you could never be bored, Zev. I'm glad you're having fun."

"Let me know should you require my assistance, Detra. That is why I am here after all."

I nodded to Zevran and moved onwards towards my usual seat next to Alistair.

Alistair wasted no time diving into his plate while I casually chose some food to pile onto mine.

"Do you miss the kids, Alistair? It's strange not seeing you cut meat every night. Well, aside from your own."

"You know I do but it's so much safer for them at the Keep than it is in Denerim, even if we win this fight. I don't want anything to happen to them. Not even a scratch."

"I agree. The only threat we ever found around the Peak were those elves and that spirit we vanquished within it, so it's safe for all now. I wish I had been able to say goodbye to them."

Alistair raised his eyebrow.

"Um...when they left, Detra, you were in no shape to even stand, much less talk."

I sighed, not wanting to remember that time and Alistair thankfully changed the subject.

"Hey I wonder if Levi's family has gotten there yet. That will make getting things to Goldanna much easier, even though I sent them with about two months worth of supplies."

"I don't know, but most likely. He said they were only days out when we left and it's been over a week."

"I hope they made it there."

"I'm sure we'll get news soon."

Our conversation fizzled out and we then concentrated on the food on our plates. Food actually tasted good to me and I found myself gobbling a bit faster than I would have liked, hoping no one noticed.

Leliana gazed across the table at Alistair and I and sighed, watching us laugh and chat with one another as she cut some potatoes on her plate.

_Why does she never sit over here with me?_

_We used to be able to laugh like that. About so many things._

_Why is it only with Alistair now?_

Leliana continued eating but kept an eye on us, trying to keep in check the small resentment growing inside her.

* * *

"So Eamon, I'm sorry but I have to ask this. What happens if a fight breaks out while we're at the tavern and we have no armor or weapons to defend ourselves with?" Alistair began.

Eamon finished chewing and then answered.

"Surely you know that there will be a large crowd in the tavern, Alistair. That is where most of the remaining citizens of Denerim are spending their days now with the Darkspawn attack so close at hand. Also the fact that you will _not_ be wearing your armor will make you stand out less to the guards, therefore making the odds of attack very low."

I hit Alistair's arm.

"Will you quit trying to get out of dressing nice for once, Alistair? It won't kill you."

"I'm not! I just...I'm just going to feel very strange without my armor. It's like my second skin."

I had to agree with him there. I knew when it came time to actually be around all of those people and be in a simple dress, I would feel the same way too.

The rest of the meal went quietly with some small talk here and there but it was evident everyone was tired.

I suddenly noticed Leliana looking at me across the table and she offered me a small smile and I was a bit shocked but smiled back as best I could so as not to appear rude.

Eamon stood up and addressed the group after an elf had hurried to his side.

"Some friends have just arrived that I need to confer with so I take my leave of you all tonight. I think it best that you all get as much rest as you can for tomorrow is the critical juncture leading up to the Landsmeet. Hopefully we can meet it head on. Goodnight all."

Eamon gave a small bow and then left the dining room with some servants, more business awaiting him.

* * *

Appetites were eventually sated for the night and the elves began removing what was left of any food on the table and our group began filtering out of the room slowly but surely.

Alistair hit my arm as most everyone had left the table already, Leliana included, and smiled at me.

"Looks like someone wants to talk to you."

"What?"

"I saw how Leliana looked at you, Detra. If that wasn't an invitation to talk, I don't know what is."

"Oh hush, Alistair. She's probably just happy to see I'm not drunk and falling over tonight."

Alistair smiled.

"Exactly."

I shook my head.

"Why do you need to read into things, Alistair? It was a simple smile, that's all. You and I do it all the time."

Alistair poked at me.

"Sometimes I see things other miss. You should go and talk to Leliana or you'll probably be sorry you didn't."

I pondered what he was saying and Alistair smiled at me again as he stood up, knowing he'd set my mind off.

"Have a _great_ night, Detra. I will see you in the morning."

Alistair squeezed my shoulder and left the room, catching up with Zevran.

Now my thoughts returned to Leliana, even as I tried to avoid them.

_Was he right_?

_Did Leliana want to speak with me now that I was not acting a complete fool_?

_Perhaps it was better I leave things as they are since it appeared she was no longer angry with me._

_Surely I'd just say something imprudent and we would start the cycle of anger all over again_.

I made my way to my room, not in any rush at all and told Deric I would not need him again at all tonight and that he should do something that he wanted.

"I will see you in the morning then, my lady."

I was left alone in my room after that and I busied myself with changing into my bedclothes even though I was not tired at all.

After just a few moments of my solitary confinement, I'd already had enough. I quietly made my way out into the hallway and headed towards Leliana's room but knowing I could stop anywhere that I liked along the way, if the want arose.

I did not encounter anyone else in the hallway besides a few unfamiliar elves and then I found myself in front of Leliana's door, just staring at it.

After some arguments in my head, I decided it best that I leave well enough alone and turned back towards my room.

_Some things should not be forced._


	28. Chapter 28

"Detra?"

I stopped where I was in the hallway as I heard Leliana's voice behind me and I closed my eyes.

She had caught me.

I turned to find Leliana standing in her doorway, a questioning look on her face.

"Did you want to see me?"

We just stared at each other for a moment until I finally realized I must ask her something or appear a fool.

An even bigger fool, that is.

"Uh... I just wanted to say... hello. I didn't want to disturb you."

_What in Gods name am I saying? _

_I am better than this with women._

Leliana just stared at me and then smiled.

"Well, hello."

I noticed that Leliana was in her bedclothes as well and I had no idea what to say to her beyond what I had just barely and clumsily gotten out.

"Did you want to come in?"

Leliana disappeared back into her room and I was not sure what I should do from there. Since it was where I had planned to be from the start and I could not really tell her no since she'd gone back in, I did walk through Leliana's doorway after a bout of frantic thoughts, finding her perusing a book on her bed.

I found the book a welcome relief as it gave me a point of conversation.

"What's that you're reading?"

Leliana turned a couple of pages.

"It's about dwarves and how they've gone about resolving social issues through the centuries. I was hoping to learn a bit more about their nature because mostly what I've seen is that they solve everything with violence, no matter what the problem."

I nodded. The violence and bloodshed we had witnessed in Orzammar was still fresh in my mind as well.

"It seems that living under all of that stone hardens them to the effects of violence, no?"

Leliana tilted her head thoughtfully.

"That is true. But I want to know if they can be different. Maybe all of us can learn to be different if we wanted to."

I nodded again, agreeing with her assessment.

"I suppose we could but not everyone is interested in getting along."

Leliana marked her spot in the book and now looked expectantly at me, as if I'd come here to make some grand speech. I had nothing in my head right now except the fact that I was actually standing in her room.

One thought did crop up and I gave voice to it, finding that I meant it.

"I'm sorry things have been so horrible for you lately."

Leliana's eyes softened and she was the one who now looked unsure.

"Me? I am fine. Don't worry about me. But...I am so sorry about your parents, Detra. I had no idea...It was so awful to hear that wretched man speak about what he had done."

The pity was evident in Leliana's eyes and I did not want it.

I nodded, thanking her but not wanting to go any further with that subject. I was already feeling it and had been since I had set eyes on Howe again.

"If you ever want to talk, Detra..."

I backed up a bit, feeling threatened.

"No, Leliana. I am fine..." I managed.

Leliana still appeared dangerously close to approaching me so naturally I needed to leave and fast.

"Well I'll let you get back to your book. I'm... Goodnight."

_Think, Leliana! She's leaving!_

Leliana stepped forward.

"Wait...Detra. I wanted to show you some of the things we found at the Peak, in the vault. If you have time that is."

I hesitated and turned back to her, remembering her venture into the vault. My interest was piqued and other thoughts forgotten.

"Oh? What sort of things did you find?"

Leliana took that same folded cloth bundle I recognized returning to her days ago from her nightstand and opened it on her bed. I walked over to the side of it next to her, but not too close.

Leliana separated the silver, gold and copper pieces, telling me of the three large chests full of each one and then continued on about the gold items on the shelves.

"You would not believe the wealth of gold in the vault, Detra. There are shelves full of it! Plenty enough to rebuild the Peak and the Wardens with some even left over."

"Really? All of that gold, simply sitting in the cellar? There were no traps of any kind for protection?"

"We saw none but the lock on the outside door. I assume there would have always been a guard or maybe several present so the Wardens must have felt there would be no need for traps. Unless you count the rats as traps."

"I guess so and... rats? Really?"

"Of course. They'll gather any place they can seek shelter."

Now Leliana separated out two necklaces within the pile.

"And then I found a smaller box with much jewelry in it and... I wanted to show you these pieces."

Leliana spread both necklaces out for me to view on her bed and I saw that one of them was a bright, solid gold. It looked amazingly heavy and expensive but the smaller silver one caught my eye.

It was as if someone had taken a triangle and unfolded it, making two that were bottom to bottom and on the three lower sides, at the points, there dangled a piece of silver in the same shape as the pendant, though much smaller. There were individual, horizontal curved lines etched across the whole face of the pendant itself and the center was also the same triangular shape and contained what looked to be a diamond, a very sparkly one at that. It was very pleasing to behold and I stared at it for quite a few seconds, also touching it.

Leliana giggled.

"See? That is the same way that I have been looking at it. It is just so...different."

I nodded and then smiled at Leliana.

"So what are you waiting for?"

Leliana looked at me, puzzled.

"Waiting for?"

I gestured towards the necklace, smiling.

"I can already see that it would look amazing on you. Silver is your taste too, is it not?"

Leliana was shocked.

"But...no, it belongs to the Grey Wardens. I was simply...I just liked looking at it."

I picked the necklace up from the bed and walked to the mirror that I had noticed a few minutes prior, opening the clasp on the necklace and holding it apart.

"You are right; this does belong to the Wardens. And I _am_ one of those Wardens. And now I hereby bequeath this necklace onto my trusted friend, Leliana, for all of her loyal service to our cause."

Leliana looked genuinely shocked.

"Detra... I can't."

I motioned for her to come again with my head.

"You can and you will. Come here already or I might just put this on myself."

Leliana gave in and walked to me, standing between me and the mirror, surprise still fresh on her face.

I lifted the necklace above her head and stretched it across and around her neck, pulling the clasp together.

The two of us absorbed the sight of the necklace on her and I could tell that Leliana was pleased by the twinkle in her eyes as she stared at the necklace draped across her front.

"See...it's beautiful. I knew it would be. Diamonds bring out the color of your eyes."

I looked to Leliana's eyes to see that sparkle but she was no longer looking at the necklace, she was looking at me in the mirror now, that familiar look in her eyes.

_Not this again._

It was all too easy to get caught up in Leliana. It's just the kind of woman she was.

It was almost as if we'd traveled back in time and things between us were easy and carefree again. But I knew they never would be again.

"I should go..."

Seems I'd once again wandered into dangerous territory and I quickly turned, moving towards the door.

_I **knew** this would happen! Why did I even come in and..._

"I would give anything if you would stay with me tonight, Detra."

I stopped where I was as the words Leliana had spoken traveled into my brain and I thought about what she was asking of me. I looked down to see my hand forming a fist so tight that my knuckles were now white. I could not move until I suddenly felt Leliana behind me and I faced her.

My mind scrambled to find words to say and Leliana took my hand.

"...I can't..."

Leliana's voice was soothing.

"You don't have to say a thing...no promises. Just stay with me."

Leliana moved closer to me when I did not move away and her arms found their way around me, pulling me into her. I could do nothing but give in, resting my head on her shoulder as my arms did the same. I breathed in Leliana's scent and realized how much I had missed her and I squeezed her just a bit tighter, my body relaxing for the first time in over a week.

I forgot how ugly things were around me, even if just for those few precious moments.

Leliana pulled away from me a bit and smiled, taking hold of my hand again and leading me to her bed.

"Let's get some sleep."

Hearing the word sleep instantly put me at ease and after Leliana moved the book to the table, we both got into her bed and tucked under the covers, settling back under them together.

This felt strangely natural and I shivered.

Leliana reached over and shut the oil lamp off, leaving the only light source as the moon coming through the window. It shined at an angle, just a slice of it lighting a path through the middle of the room and the end of the bed.

Leliana put her arm out so I could nestle against her and I did just that, quite comfortably. I slowed my breath so I could fully bask in her scent again as I had so many nights and mornings and Leliana had her hand on my shoulder, her fingers leaving tiny electric trails as she moved them across my skin.

I didn't let myself ruin what was happening, I just let myself enjoy it for now. I did not want to be alone.

We lay like this for quite a while and then my hand slid across her stomach as I nuzzled into Leliana some more, unable to stop getting closer to her.

Leliana was trying to regulate her breathing so that she did not alarm me but as she let her thoughts wander, she felt her heart pounding in her chest and could not control it.

_Maker...please don't let her notice._

I was too much in my own thoughts to notice Leliana's distress but I knew that my hand wouldn't mind making its way under her shirt. I wanted to feel my hand on her bare skin again.

_I would love to..._

_No. _

_I like us too much when we're getting along._

_We cannot ever be without clothes again._

As soon as those words were in my head, I could not stop myself from flashing back to one of the few times Leliana and I had been together. I gasped a bit, silently chiding myself and hoping that Leliana hadn't heard me.

_Maker...Why is Detra making those noises?_

_I wonder what she's thinking about._

Leliana's expertise in controlling her emotions was being put to the test even further as she restrained any knowledge of my slight outburst and stayed in her own thoughts.

_Out of all my talents, why couldn't one of them be mind reader?_

The silence was becoming unbearable for me.

"Are you comfortable, Leliana?"

Leliana paused, making sure she'd heard my question correctly. She then replied that she was indeed comfortable, thankful things were still under control.

My breathing returned to normal as I thought about anything but what I wanted right now and I had to concentrate on keeping it that way.

_How am I ever going to get any sleep like this?_

Leliana was in the process of thinking of other things as well right now and she found herself trying hard to remember anything else.

_What was that recipe for Zevran's stew?_

_Boar, carrots, potatoes, leek, spices..._

_...Detra's lips..._

Leliana scrunched her eyes shut tighter, wishing she could chase the thoughts from her head.

_...celery, pepper..._

_Andraste help me! I cannot even think about..._

My eyes met Leliana's just then and I saw the surprise and then the uncertainty in her eyes and our gaze locked, each of us searching.

I leaned up, resting on my arm and was unable to stop my words.

"...I can't sleep."

Leliana darted towards me and for a split second she regretted it until my lips met hers halfway. The ache that I had felt inside was finally quelled as our lips met in perfect unison.

My skin tingled and my heart beat even faster as we continued kissing and Leliana turned on her side to face me, putting one arm around me to pull me snug against her and I followed her lead, my body reacting to her touch as it always had.

To once again have my hands on Leliana, to feel the softness of her skin, have my lips against her neck...

It was too much.

I pushed Leliana onto her back and I followed, landing on top of her, doing what I knew best.

I moved in for the kill and Leliana just kept her eyes on mine, her hands on my face. I moved to kiss her, but was unable to do anything but stare deeply into her eyes and then I felt myself trembling.

Suddenly I could feel hot, fresh tears streaming down my face as all I could see in my head was a picture of my parents, bloody and broken as they were taken down by Howe's men and fighting up until their last breath...I had to leave them behind, rushing off with Duncan. The last hours at the Cousland Castle...Oriana, Oren...all of our servants..._ all dead_.

Pain spread across my chest like a wildfire and I clutched at it weakly, trying to catch my breath.

I almost collapsed on top of Leliana, unrestrained sobs emitting from me that I could not stop. I attempted to move away from her but she wrapped her arms around me tightly and did not let me move.

"Let it out, Detra. I am here...It's all right."

My body feeble, I could not move as the tears poured out and down my face and now onto Leliana's shoulder.

I cried for my parents and family and the loss of my home. I cried for being stuck in this predicament and battle and for the choice I had made to be a Grey Warden. All of these emotions surfaced at once and I gasped and sobbed into Leliana's shoulder, unable to restrain my loud cries, my body convulsing violently.

Leliana rubbed the back of my neck and ran her hands through my hair and held on tightly as my breakdown continued. Eventually there were no more tears left and I felt utterly exhausted and empty, my body sagging against hers.

Leliana kissed my cheek, stroking my hair.

"I am still here..."

Leliana never let go of me.


	29. Chapter 29

Leliana bent down to kiss my forehead and I moved slightly and sighed but did not wake.

_If only you knew what you mean to me, my love._

_It's been so hard without you._

The sun had barely had a thought yet of rising and Leliana was already up and dressed, many things awaiting her this morning. She had limited time as she was needed at the tavern with our group by the afternoon so she would need to set things in motion as early as possible.

Leliana put the pen down on the desk and stood, blowing lightly towards the ink on the vellum in her hand to ensure it was dry.

She smiled as she read the poem in her head again, hoping it pleased me when I woke up and found it.

_**She speaks to me**_

_**And I listen**_

_**The words fall from her heart**_

_**With a quiver**_

_**She turns away then**_

_**I move to her**_

_**Bridging the gap**_

_**Reclaiming her gaze**_

_**Her soul**_

_**Fires awaken in those eyes**_

_**I have found her**_

_**She is truly mine**_

_**~L**_

Leliana folded the vellum carefully in half and tucked it a bit under the Andraste's Grace that lay across her pillow beside me, smiling at my still face.

Her elven 'friends' as she called them, had always kept a fresh supply of the flowers in her room ever since they had found out they were her favorite. Leliana loved the fact that every time she came into her room, she was instantly reminded of her mother and she would smile.

She could think of nothing better than to share those flowers with me.

Leliana sheathed all of her weapons and turned to look at me one more time before silently making her exit.

* * *

Knocking on the door roused me from sleep and I rubbed my eyes, answering in a groggy voice.

"Yes?"

An elf appeared in the doorway and I blinked through my sleepy eyes.

"My lady, I have... Oh, I am so sorry. I thought you were..."

Everything from the night before was slowly coming back to me and now I remembered where I was but Leliana was not beside me. The elf bowed before me, obviously embarrassed with finding me in bed.

"You are looking for Leliana?"

"Yes, my lady. I bring news from the Arl."

I looked around the room and saw no sign of her.

"I'm not sure where she is right now. What is the news?"

"The Arl has asked me to let Lady Leliana know that the meeting is set for early this afternoon."

I nodded, rubbing my eyes once again.

"All right. As soon as I can find her myself, I will let her know. Thank you."

The elf bowed slightly and then left the room.

My eyes felt puffy this morning and I bit my lip, remembering exactly what had happened last night.

All that crying.

I shook my head and pushed the covers off myself and stood up, stretching.

I felt as if I should neaten the bed a bit before I left and then I saw the flower and the vellum underneath it.

I stared at the pair of items on Leliana's pillow and froze. I could feel a knot rising in my throat and pain spread through my chest.

I did not lay a finger on that note but slipped my shoes on and made my way to the door, leaving the bed as it was and letting ignorance replace anything else that I was feeling at that moment.

* * *

"Detra, Eamon has been looking for you this morning."

Wynne approached me, carrying five books in her arms. They looked weighty and so I took a couple off the top of the pile for her, turning in the direction she'd been headed in.

"Oh you needn't do that, Detra. I can manage."

"It's fine, Wynne. I can catch up with Eamon in a few minutes."

We walked towards the library and I looked at the books.

"They have a lot of magic books in the library here? I am a bit shocked. Shouldn't these be kept from us common folk?"

"They are mostly history books and contain no spells, just some examples of types of ingredients at most. There is really nothing dangerous here. I can assure you that I did check."

I trusted Wynne's opinion. She hadn't been wrong yet.

"If you say so."

A few more steps towards the library and Wynne had more to say.

"Detra, I just want to say that I am sorry about your parents. I had no idea what had happened to them."

Still a sore subject but not as volatile as just a day ago, I simply nodded.

"Thank you, Wynne."

Wynne looked as if she wanted to speak more on the matter or perhaps another but we arrived at the library which pleased me as questions aimed at me were usually dangerous.

"Here you go, Wynne. I will see you later, before the tavern."

Wynne nodded.

"Yes you will and thank you again for your help, Detra."

I nodded and headed down the hallway towards my own room.

Deric was knocking on my door when I rounded the corner and he turned to me, happy to have found me.

"My lady, we have located three suitable dresses for you if you would care to try them on."

I had woken up for the most part and greeted Deric, not caring much that I was in my bedclothes.

"Morning. Just give me a moment to change. Where should I meet you?"

"Do you recall the fitting room from yesterday, my lady? We have the dresses up there right now."

"All right. I will be up soon then."

Deric bowed and I made my way into my room, changing quickly and then heading out again.

I saw Eamon on the way up the stairs and greeted him, informing him that I was on my way up to try on the new wardrobe waiting for me.

"Excellent. I will be in the study for a bit but breakfast should be served soon if you are interested, Detra."

I thanked the Arl and then continued up the stairs, seeing Deric in the doorway.

We greeted one another again and walked back into the familiar fitting room and the dresses on the bed caught my eye.

"Very nice." I said, touching the bottom half of a silken blue dress.

"Would you like to start with that one, my lady?"

"Yes I would."

I took the dress behind the partition, slid into it and adjusted it as needed.

From what I could tell, it looked appropriate so I walked back out towards the mirror to get the full view.

After several different poses, it was not the dress I'd thought it to be and looked to the bed.

"Let's try this red one next, Deric. This blue one is very much acceptable but I'd like to see that one."

There was a third dress as well but the hue of orange reminded me of a pumpkin and I wasn't sure I'd want to be seen in that. If the red one failed, I would simply wear the blue one.

Removing the blue dress was easier than putting it on. Deric brought me the red dress which felt even softer than the blue one. This one had a zipper in the back and I could slide into it just as easily as the first.

"Not bad either." I said to myself.

I moved towards the mirror again and noticed a strange look on Deric's face that I did not understand until I looked at my own reflection.

_Oh my._

I looked amazing in the dress and it fit my curves as a leather glove would fit a hand. But it also accentuated some of my other assets as well, a bit too much in my own opinion. The dress was very low cut and quite a bit of my cleavage was showing.

I just stood and stared in the mirror for a minute or so, not sure what to do now. On one hand, the dress was very alluring. On the other hand, I thought it not suitable attire for a meeting that would decide the fate of Ferelden.

"Uh...Deric, do you think perhaps we could..."

I was not even sure how to go about saying it without embarrassing him so I let my hands do the talking, holding them around my bosom.

Deric was trying his best to avoid any glances and he nodded.

"Yes, my lady, we can try to... take care of that for you."

I turned back to the mirror.

"It is just...I am not sure that it would be suitable for meeting with nobles."

The more I looked at the dress though, the less offensive it became to me. Perhaps it would cause such distraction that we could get the male nobles to agree to all of our pleas. I laughed to myself about that and Deric looked at me and I smiled.

"See if you could perhaps raise it up a bit maybe? But if you cannot, it will have to do."

Behind the partition once again, I removed the dress, careful not to ruin it in the slightest. I had already decided in my head that I would wear the red one, regardless of any alterations and I felt slightly naughty for it, giggling again.

I dressed in my other clothes and left the fitting room, the elves already busy trying to possibly alter the dress.

Still the sight of myself in the mirror remained in my head even as I headed downstairs and searched for the Arl to tell him I'd found a that dress was suitable. I found Alistair first.

"Good morning! Did you try on your dress yet?"

"Yes I just finished with that actually. Did Eamon want to see me again?"

"Not that I know of. Other than your dress arriving, nothing had been going on this morning. So how does it look?"

My earlier thoughts in front of the mirror returned but I needn't tell Alistair that. If the elves could not adjust it, he would then see it for himself.

"It looks well enough for the tavern."

Alistair stared at me.

"That's it? You're not going to tell me about your shoes or talk about the dress for an hour?"

I raised an eyebrow.

"Why would I do that?"

Alistair shrugged.

"I thought that's what women did. Talk about shoes and clothes and their hair and have tea. You must have had nice things at home, right? Didn't you ever wear noble clothes? I mean, you _are_ a noble."

Flashes of my past played in my head and I shrugged, not caring much for the snobbier side of nobility.

"Of course I had fancy outfits for certain events, but I did not always walk around in such. Father had me training most of the time so I was most at home in a suit of armor with a blade on my back."

"Ah, sounds like me. Ever since my Templar training, I haven't felt safe in anything but armor."

I laughed.

"Speaking of armor, the elves do a fantastic job of polishing my armor for me when they take it and yours is looking very dull, Alistair. Perhaps you could let them clean and polish it for you?"

Alistair looked cautious.

"Well how can I be sure I'll get it back and in one piece? What happens if it gets mixed up or lost or something worse? This armor is lucky for me and I can't part with it."

"What could the elves possibly do to it, Alistair? They don't use a hammer and chisel to clean it."

"Yes, well... I'd rather just be wearing it if it's all the same to you."

I shrugged.

"Be my guest, Alistair. I suppose it could come in handy as you'll be the last one they see on the battlefield and the rest of us will gleam in the sun, making easy targets."

"No, I think that..."

"Good morning." Eamon said as he walked towards us, interrupting Alistair.

We both resounded his greeting and he walked past us into the dining hall.

"Did you want to speak with me, Eamon?" I asked.

"Were you not able to locate Deric for the fitting?"

"Oh yes, we're all done with that but I was not sure if there was something else."

"Other than the fact that the nobles will be here in about three hours, I can think of nothing else right now."

"All right then. If you do need me, I will be outside."

The Arl nodded to me and continued on his path towards breakfast and Alistair turned to me.

"Where are you off to, Detra?"

"I thought that I might step outside for a change. I've been confined mostly to the estate and have only left to... Well, I have not enjoyed the outdoors at all lately and I'm going to rectify that."

"All right then. I'm going to go dig into breakfast so I'll see you later."

Alistair whirled back around.

"Hey... by the way, did you ever speak with Leliana last night?"

A quick 'no' passed my lips without even thinking.

"No? But why..."

"Alistair, I'm going outside now. I'll speak with you later."

I was not going to debate about Leliana with him in the hallway, or anywhere for that matter. Leliana was the furthest thing from my mind this morning and I would have it no other way.

* * *

Leliana had worked hard this day on locating her target and finally one of them was found. It had taken much coin and false information, but Leliana knew the assassin would respond to what she had fed to the town gossips in her easily believable way.

The redheaded bard that they sought would be in town tonight with the Grey Warden, meeting with several top officials, in the Chantry courtyard.

She knew the assassin would show, checking for vantage points and places of hiding several hours before the meeting and she would follow them from there and wait for opportunity to present itself to take care of this little problem.

Marjolaine would not win this time.

Leliana lay in wait at the market, near the Chantry, waiting for her prey to show.

_This must be him._

Leliana did not take her eyes off the elf that blended just a little too perfectly, just enough so that the casual eye would overlook him and he was free to scout the layout. She knew the game; she'd played it for years and even better than this elf. She could tell he was new at it or only a couple of contracts in at the most.

Her mark's work done, she saw him making his way out of the area and Leliana adjusted her cloak and the basket in her hand and set off in pursuit of him, blending just as thoroughly with the other citizens of Denerim.

Leliana now stood outside of the Tailrace Lodge where the elf had entered and she forged a plan quickly.

She strode into the building, looking as if only interested in speaking with the bartender though in truth she was fully aware of her surroundings.

The bartender looked at her with disinterest until she pulled the cloak from her head and he saw her face.

"_You..._"

Leliana smiled.

"Hello, Baird. It is good to see you again."

After the bartender got over his initial shock, he leaned on the bar, closer to Leliana, his voice lowered.

"I can't believe...What are you doing here?"

"That, my friend, is a long story. But suffice it to say that I am here to soon slay Darkspawn, the same as the rest of Denerim."

Baird was still pretty speechless it seemed and Leliana needed to move quickly.

"I was wondering if I would be able to ask a favor of you if I could."

Baird could obviously nod and he did.

"Anything for you."

Leliana saw in his face the same man that she'd been sent to kill years ago in Orlais. According to Marjolaine, he was indebted to several landowners for gambling debts and they wanted him out of the picture so he would incur no more costs. It seemed they would never recover their losses anyhow. Death was a punishment they had all agreed on and Marjolaine, through reputation alone, had earned the contract. Marjolaine never cared for the reasons for the kill, she only cared for the pay and the thrill. The punishment fitting the crime also never mattered to her. The more violent, the better in her opinion.

It turned out that the story was all lies.

Baird, when confronted by Leliana, begged for his life and asked that she listen to his side. So earnest was his plea that she did and she decided for herself that it was the truth. She had heard enough lies to know the difference.

It turns out that the man who had paid Marjolaine to have Baird killed was the father of Baird's fiancé. He did not and never would approve of their pairing and would obviously go to any length to end their affair.

Now it was up to her to protect Baird and Leliana had returned to Marjolaine, insisting she return the clients money and somehow cancel the contract.

That is when Marjolaine had not yet been so corrupt and she had agreed. Of course only after a little insistence and naked, sweaty convincing on Leliana's part.

"Ah, my Leliana. You were always the romantic." Marjolaine had said after getting what she wanted.

True to her word, she had gone on to cancel the contract and return the funds the next day. Of course the girl's father was none too pleased but Marjolaine's warning had silenced him. Her quiet intensity was hardly questioned and if it was, that person was usually not seen again.

A month later, Leliana received word that Baird and Adara had eloped into Ferelden and she had wished them both well. At least in her head she had. She had seen enough death in her short life and this, she remembered, was the day she had seriously begun questioning her line of work.

"What can I do for you, Leliana?" Baird repeated.

Leliana returned to the present and wondered how long she had been gone, apologizing.

"You have a guest in your lodge, specifically an elf who has just returned a few minutes ago. He is not here for anything good and I need to find out what his plans are. I need to get into his room."

Baird's eyes widened.

"Is he... is he a ...like you?"

"Yes," Leliana answered, sensing Baird could no longer say the word 'assassin' after his experience.

"What do you need?"

Leliana peered behind the bar, searching.

"How about an apron, two mugs and some ale?"

Leliana knocked on the elf's door, adjusting the apron across her midriff.

"Yes?"

"Delivery from the barkeep." Leliana said, altering her voice to sound as a Fereldan.

There was a pause.

"I did not order anything."

"I am just following my order, sir." Leliana answered, as if she were truly a bored tavern wench, not caring if she came or went.

Leliana waited and the elf took the bait, opening the door.

Leliana had expected to strike immediately but there was not an ounce of recognition in the elf's face as he stared back at her.

''What is this? Ale for me?"

Leliana switched tactics.

"Yes. I have ale and much more." Leliana flirted, sliding past the elf into his room.

He spun to face her and she did the same.

"I was sent by our...mutual friend to see that you are _taken care of_ before tonight's job," Leliana continued in a sultry voice, placing the tray of ale and mugs down on the table and readying the needle in her sleeve.

The elf who could have been Zevran's twin save for the dark hair simply stared back at Leliana.

_Believe it. _

_Come on._

"Is that so? Then why don't you slip into something more comfortable?"

The elf eyed the cloak that Leliana was still wearing but she could not remove it without losing her grip on the needle and losing the upper hand.

Leliana moved towards the elf who backed off a bit.

"Lose the cloak." the elf said a bit too menacingly.

Leliana knew he was on to her and that it was time to act. It was only seconds before they both moved towards each other, grabbing and pushing.

The elf knew Leliana had something up her sleeve so he went for her wrists, holding on to them while trying to knock her to the floor but Leliana was more than a match for him, backing him into the wall and making sure his head made hard contact with the wall behind him. It was just enough time to allow her to sink the needle into his arm and deliver the poison before he pushed her away from him.

"What the... Did you just give me..."

The elf stumbled a bit and went down on one knee and Leliana used this opportunity to throw him into the chair and bind his arms behind him with the twine under her cloak, not without some kicking and struggling however.

Leliana stood back and observed the assassin, deciding whether it was worth explaining.

"Your employer is dead and I suggest you do not pursue the contract you were hired for."

The assassin that now sat bound into the chair before Leliana coughed, spitting a bit of blood onto the floor.

"Is that so? And how do you know that they are dead?"

"Because I am the one that killed her." Leliana said flatly.

The elf just simply stared back at her, slightly amused.

"You do in fact have a time limit as the poison you've been given will kill you in one hour if you do not receive the antidote."

The elf no longer looked amused after that and glared at Leliana.

"What is it that you want from me then?"

"I want you to cease and desist on this contract and not take my life. If you agree, I will set you free but do not even think of double crossing me. You will leave Denerim and never return."

Leliana crossed her arms, awaiting an answer and suddenly the elf erupted from the chair, charging at her. Before Leliana could even uncross her arms, she felt a sharp blade sink into her midsection and she cried out, the pain allowing the elf to push the blade further and he let Leliana collapse to the floor, now bleeding and gasping.

"What makes you think that _you_ are the target, you Orlesian whore?"

Leliana made one last attempt to down the elf as he stood cleaning his dagger of her blood and she planted a kick straight between the elf's legs, causing him to buckle down against her. She struggled with him a bit but the wound in her stomach was leaking blood rapidly, weakening her and he simply threw her hands off of him, next planting his fist in Leliana's face, knocking her out cold.

The elf heard banging on the wall and complaints from the neighboring patrons and he hurriedly searched Leliana's person for the antidote and found it along with all the sovereigns she was carrying.

He drank the solution, throwing the empty vial down onto Leliana and then gathered his things. He turned to spit on the floor near Leliana, showing his disgust before darting out the door and locking it behind him to avoid the inevitable interest in his room that all of that noise would bring.


	30. Chapter 30

The sky was more beautiful than I'd remembered as I strolled out of the back door and onto the steps. Then again, it had been some time since I'd actually thought to look up with all we had ahead of us. The sky was constantly changing yet since it remained untouched by our hands, it was still magnificent to behold, unlike the lands that made up Ferelden. Some still held beauty, but the recent wars and fighting had blemished the land forever. Our people were as scarred as the land and I am not sure anything would ever change that, whether we won or lost against the Darkspawn.

Arl Eamon's men were at the practice dummies again as I walked down the set of stairs and I watched them for a bit, daydreaming that there really was no Blight and that we had won, as that demon dressed as Duncan would have had me believe when we were held captive in the Fade.

Reality won over my dream and I walked further down the stairs, spotting Riordan sitting not far from me.

It looked as though he was meditating and I was not sure whether to interrupt or not but then thought it acceptable that I at least inquire if he was doing well.

The sound of my approach broke his concentration and he turned his head a bit to see who it was.

"I apologize, Riordan. I did not mean to disturb you. I just wanted to see how you are doing."

Riordan turned his head towards me then patted the spot next to him on the edge of the stairs.

"Come join me, Sister. And worry not; you will never disturb me."

Happy to have company, I sat down next to Riordan, my legs dangling to the side of the stairs.

"So how are you, Riordan? Are you feeling better?"

"I am indeed, Detra, thank you. Arl Eamon's physicians are the best."

I swung my legs back and forth, reminded of sitting the same way many times at the Cousland estate on the back steps throughout the years.

"Do you think you might be able to tell me a little bit about the Grey Wardens, Riordan? I still feel as if I have so much to learn and I do not even know how to go about it."

Riordan made himself more comfortable on the stairs and clasped his hands together on his knees.

"Well I'd be happy to tell you what I know but it seems you've already picked up the important parts yourself, Sister."

I looked at Riordan.

"I have?"

Riordan smiled.

"Be firm in your beliefs, protect people from their own ignorance and be as loyal as you can to your brothers and sisters, even knowing you'll eventually share their deaths."

My eyes fell to the ground. It seems I was excelling at being a Grey Warden already. But it wasn't a happy time and I was not sure if I should feel proud or not.

"Exactly how many Wardens are out there? I haven't a clue how many we number."

Riordan sighed.

"It's tough to say an exact number. Only the fortress in Weisshaupt has every record of every Warden ever inducted but there are certainly a few dozen or hundreds in every nation in Thedas and the Anderfels are home to over a thousand."

"Yet there are none in Ferelden but the three of us."

Riordan frowned.

"Yes. It's almost as if the Archdemon chose Ferelden deliberately, knowing how unguarded it is."

We reflected on what we'd exchanged for a few minutes, sitting quietly before I had another question.

"Have you ever been to that fortress, Riordan? Wiseha...the one you mentioned?"

Riordan rubbed his bearded chin.

"I have been there once only and I would prefer to not go again. It is very far and very foreign and there is none of the camaraderie that you would find within Orlais for example. The Wardens of Weisshaupt also fight Darkspawn as we do but they are shaped by the harsh winters and the forest there and it chills their spirit. They don't care as they should about the rest of the nation and look only to rule their own. Their King is weak and many of the citizens look to the Wardens for leadership,"

I absorbed all of this knowledge but had no opinion as I had no experience with Anderfels or anything outside of Ferelden for that matter.

There was another silence as the questions continued in my head.

"Do you know when the Wardens were actually founded, Riordan? Is there any record of the exact date or close to it? I know that I have always heard stories of them, even as a child but I've never know how long they've been in existence."

Riordan seemed to have all of this knowledge right at his fingertips as he answered straight away.

"As far as we can tell from records found, it was near twelve hundred years ago. No one knows for sure except that it began with a group of Anders soldiers. As it goes, they defected from their King's army, vowing that battling the Blight was more important than any other military task and they traveled all the way to Tevinter themselves. They were the first ones to track down the first known Archdemon Dumat and the ones to slay him, though none of the Wardens survived this battle."

I hung my head sadly, grieving for the centuries old Wardens we had lost. Even though I had not been a Warden for long, my connection with my brothers and sisters was already strong.

"The Wardens who perished had picked up followers by the time the great battle came about and it was they who formally founded the Order and were recognized by Thedas, thus beginning the line of the Grey Wardens."

I was very grateful for the facts Riordan was giving me. This was my world now and I needed any and all information to help me make my way through it as best as I could. It was also nice to know the history that I was now a part of and why I was fighting.

"Why is there so much time between Blights? Is it because the Darkspawn must search for the Archdemon?"

"Yes. Archdemons do not awaken on their own and it takes the Darkspawn centuries of tunneling through the earth to locate the old gods. With no one to lead them before they locate the Archdemon, it must be sheer chance or maybe instinct which leads them on. What's surprising isn't that it takes so long between Blights, what's surprising is that the Darkspawn succeed at all. But I imagine the old gods call to them and it's that voice in the darkness which drives them through so many generations. To continue the search relentlessly."

Visions of Darkspawn tunneling through rock and dirt entered my head again and what I did not have to imagine the voice of the Archdemon would sound like, calling to them. I would more often than not dream that the Archdemon called to me as I now shared the same taint as the Darkspawn. It was horrifying and I would wake covered in sweat.

And I knew it would only get worse.

"The important thing to remember is that when you are facing Darkspawn, all you need to know is that you must stop them at all costs. They must not be allowed to succeed in their goal of destruction."

I nodded.

"I understand that part perfectly and will protect this nation with every fiber of my being as long as I am alive."

Riordan nodded with me, understanding as only one Grey Warden to another could.

"I must make my way into town now, Detra. I must seek out the rest of the supplies in the Denerim vault. There are many weapons there that can be used when the Darkspawn arrive and I will not have them go to waste."

"Would you like some help, Riordan? I can..."

"Thank you, but no. I know that you have duties here as does Alistair. I can most certainly handle this on my own."

I was nervous to let Riordan go on his own as he had just been through such an ordeal with the poison.

"You could always take some of Eamon's men with you, to help handle the heavier equipment. And if you meet any of Loghain's men...You should just bring me with you. I won't feel you're safe if you don't."

Riordan stood up and brushed the dust from his armor.

"This vault is for Warden eyes only and I would prefer we remain the only ones with the knowledge of its location. Should Denerim not fall, we may still be able to make use of it later on. And you have more important things to attend to it seems."

Riordan gestured behind us and I stood with him and turned find an elven servant peeking out the door, looking at both of us and then speaking to me.

"My lady, it is time."

Riordan covered my hand with his.

"We must speak again, Detra, preferably this evening at the latest. I will come and find you after you return from your meeting at the tavern. May luck be with you, Sister."

Riordan bowed again and headed off into town towards the Warden vault while I followed the elf into the estate to once again try to do battle with the necessary dress to deal with the politics soon to be at hand.


	31. Chapter 31

The elf led me straight upstairs to the familiar fitting room and I saw that Deric was waiting for me.

"My lady, I apologize but we could not do any adjustments to the dress without compromising the rest of the garment."

I waved my hand at Deric, smiling.

"Oh that's fine, Deric. The more I thought about it, the more I thought how the dress as it is might give me the... upper hand."

I laughed at my own joke and Deric joined in after he understood what I meant, giggling just a bit, even though it most likely went against his nature to do so.

I was once again behind the partition and then again in front of the mirror in the red dress but this time I was not shy. I'd grown accustomed to seeing myself only in armor and anything else was foreign to me. This was a welcome change.

I styled my hair a bit but then settled on a simple ponytail with just a bit of bangs on my forehead.

_That will do_.

"All right. I do believe I'm ready for this all important meeting now. Thank you all for your help, Deric."

Deric insisted that I looked wonderful and the other elves simply nodded. Still too submissive to respond to a shemlen I suppose.

As I made my way down the hall, it truly felt strange to be so light, without the bulk of my armor or the thud of my boots against the stone floor. I continued down the stairs, listening to the click of my heels and the swish of my dress, smiling to myself. Near the entrance to the study stood Eamon and Wynne and they looked towards me as I approached.

"My, Detra. That dress is very becoming." Wynne admired.

"Yes, yes. It looks splendid." Eamon offered.

I flushed with the attention.

"Thank you both. Is everything going as planned?"

"Alistair is getting dressed as we speak but we cannot locate Leliana. Have you seen her today, Detra?"

I was surprised she could not be found and I shrugged. Leliana seemed to always be there when you needed her.

That was one of the many things that drew me to her.

"I have not seen Leliana since last night to be honest."

Wynne seemed to have no ideas either as she offered nothing but a question as to whether there was a search and Eamon answered.

"I have my people searching now and hopefully she's located soon. This meeting must happen."

"Look at you!" Alistair shouted from down the hall, approaching us in the same fancy outfit from the day before.

The look on Alistair's face suddenly made me shy and it was strange for me to feel that way.

Alistair arrived at our group and kept ogling me, further embarrassing me.

"You look... absolutely stunning, Detra."

"Thank you, Alistair. You look quite dashing yourself."

Alistair took my arm and pulled me aside from Wynne and Eamon after simple greetings were over.

"Did you ever talk to Leliana last night, Detra?"

_Again with that question! _

I wanted none of this.

"No, I did not, Alistair. Now can we concentrate on what we're going to say to the nobles please? This is important."

Alistair just looked at me for a moment and then nodded, gesturing with his hands for me to continue.

"I'm sorry. Fine, let's discuss the nobles indeed."

Alistair waited for me to speak again but I did not even know where to start, it had only been to stop his questions.

I threw my hands up.

"I really haven't a clue what we should say to them honestly. I think I'll only know once we actually get there. I truly dislike politics for this very reason, so much riding on the very words you say."

Alistair nodded and I could still feel his eyes on me.

I gave him an offended look.

"Would you like a closer look, Alistair?"

Alistair nodded, smiling.

"I know better than to answer that. You would knock me out cold."

I laughed first and then Alistair joined in.

A group of elves approached Eamon and words were exchanged but I could not hear anything from where we stood.

"Wait until Leliana sees you in that dress. She will go crazy."

The laughter died down quickly and I sighed.

"Alistair, please... Please don't speak of Leliana." I barely whispered.

"Why not? Aren't you two..."

Alistair trailed off and just stared at me, disdain seeping into his eyes.

"You're still thinking about _her_, aren't you?"

That sharp, familiar pain arose in my chest again and I sighed loudly at Alistair.

"Please don't bring up either of them! By the Gods, Alistair! Don't you think that I have..."

"We still have been unable to locate Leliana and the time has come for the meeting," Eamon interrupted, joining our circle.

I was too flustered to respond just yet so Alistair commented instead.

"So we are to leave now then? Has anyone checked the courtyard?"

"She is not in the courtyard. I was just out there earlier." I was able to answer.

"Perhaps she had some errand to run at the markets. And we are a little bit ahead of schedule now. When she returns, I will send her down to meet you, if she does not already meet you there herself." Eamon said.

"I hope she's okay." Alistair said, a bit nervous.

"This is Leliana we're talking about, Alistair. You know that she can handle anything."

Alistair shrugged, still looking worried.

"I hope you're right."

Wynne approached us as we smoothed clothing and adjusted hair and then we made our way back into the streets of Denerim to once again fight the good fight.

* * *

The noise level in the tavern was much higher than we'd anticipated and it would make discussions with the nobles very difficult. Perhaps we might be able to persuade them to join us in a room in the back so that we might talk. Only time would tell.

The citizens that remained in Denerim filled the booths and chairs of the tavern. Most looked to be having a grand time getting drunk for none of us truly knew this day would be our last. One of the waitresses who passed us pointed out a table that was empty and we headed towards it, dodging peanut shells and a man that fell out of his chair in front of us onto the floor, passed out. The table was also covered in peanut shells and empty mugs and we avoided them as best we could as we took our seats.

"Do you really think the nobles will show up here? This place is a mess." Alistair observed.

A waitress came over to us, looking harried as she cleared the table for us.

"What'll you have?"

The three of us exchanged looks, knowing we should not be drinking during this important time.

"Actually, we are waiting for some people so we won't be ordering anything."

The waitress frowned and tilted her head at us.

"If you're sitting, you're drinking. If you're not, then you're out."

Given that choice, I ordered each of us a mug of ale.

The waitress left and then returned just as quickly, dropping three full mugs of ale in front of us.

I paid her and she left without a word, obviously very busy with the bustling tavern and not interested in those not spending much.

Alistair reached for my mug and slowly pulled it away from me, waiting for my reaction.

"What are you doing?"

Alistair smiled.

"I don't think you should have this near you. You might up and drink the entire mug and end up dancing on the tables for the nobles."

Wynne tried to stifle a laugh but failed and I looked at her.

"Do you think that would really happen? I should have brushed up on my dancing now that I think about it. These tables are so wobbly though. I may have to use the bar."

We all shared a laugh after that and Alistair pushed the mug back towards me.

"No, perhaps you're right, Alistair. Just in case, you should keep it on your side of the table."

Alistair shrugged and left the mug in the middle of the table.

The townspeople that remained seemed to be living it up in the Gnawed Noble. There was laughter and noise coming from every corner of the building. I let my eyes wander the place and saw scared and lonely people trying to drown their sorrows with ale and wine and courtesans making deals left and right. One of the courtesans caught my eye as she led her present client behind closed doors and she winked at me, perhaps trying to line up her next prospect.

"Oh, well look who it is."

Alistair gestured to the doorway and Wynne and I both turned our attention.

Zevran strode into the tavern as if he owned the place and with a beautiful woman on his arm to boot. I would expect nothing less from the charming elf.

Zevran waved and nodded to us in acknowledgment but continued to the bar and then the both of them tried to make their way through the throng of people milling around it.

"Where has he been I wonder? Probably that Pearl place." Alistair said, wrinkling his nose.

"Are you jealous?" I giggled.

Alistair feigned offense.

"I would certainly never frequent such a place. I am a firm believer in love... And all that stuff."

I made a face at Alistair, reaching over to pinch his cheek.

"I know. That's because you're such a _darling_."

Wynne laughed with me and Alistair blushed, I don't know why. We always teased back and forth like this but he may have felt shy because Wynne was also here.

"Ah, it is the Grey Warden duo and the lovely Wynne as well. How are things going for the meeting?"

Zevran had snuck up on our table and we looked at him as he smiled down at us.

"Oh my, Detra. You certainly fill out that dress nicely."

I gave Zevran the usual look and answered his question.

"We haven't seen any nobles arrive yet so we are still waiting in this mess of a tavern."

"I am sure they will arrive soon. Royalty always takes their time."

"I suppose so." I agreed.

Zevran touched my shoulder.

"Detra, I was wondering if I could borrow you for a moment. There is something I would like to discuss with you."

"Oh? Okay, sure."

Zevran took my arm as I stood and led me towards the bar, smiling.

"I have someone that I would like you to meet, Detra."

"Someone... I thought you wanted to speak with me, Zevran. I don't really have time to meet with..."

We arrived at the bar and Zevran gestured to the woman he'd accompanied earlier as she leaned backwards against the bar, smiling at us.

"Detra, this is Isabela. Isabela, this is Detra."

Isabela held out her hand to me and took mine into hers.

"I've heard much about you, Warden. I must say it is a great pleasure to meet you."

Zevran watched my face for my response and smiled as I stuttered my reply.

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you as well. But I must be getting back to..."

"Oh surely you can have just one drink with us. I have been looking forward to speaking with the famous Grey Warden since Zevran told me that he travels with you now."

"He..._what_?"

I looked to Zevran for clarification and an explanation as to why he was spreading confidential information around.

"Oh don't be angry with him, Warden. It's not as if we've just met. Zevran and I go back many years."

"Yes we do indeed." Zevran agreed.

"Just how long has it been since you killed my husband, Zev? Five years?"

Zevran nodded.

"About that, yes."

I just stared at their little exchange, having no idea how to react to what they were saying.

"You... killed her husband? Is that true?"

They both laughed and I wondered if it wasn't simply a joke.

"Yes, Warden. I did indeed take the life of Isabela's husband."

"The pig," Isabela added, rolling her eyes.

"The Crows were hired to kill him when a deal went bad but I won't go into any more detail than that. I must admit I was shocked when Isabela approached me on the ship and thanked me for taking his life. But I have seen stranger things."

They both shared another laugh.

"And that is when I inherited my dead husband's ship and now she is all mine to sail the seas with, just as I'd wanted all along. Why wouldn't I thank you for freeing me?"

I hadn't any idea what I could add to this conversation and I tried yet again to return to the others.

"Nonsense! You must have at least one drink, as Isabela has suggested."

Isabela turned to the barkeep and ordered three ales and I noticed that my eyes traveled where they should not have for a moment. I corrected that a few seconds later, but not escaping without a grin and nod from Zevran though. I glared at him to keep quiet about it.

"Here we are. The finest ale available."

I looked into the mug and it seemed the same as we had ordered at the table.

"Is it really that good?"

Isabela laughed, tucking change into her pocket.

"No, but wasn't that a fine introduction?"

I smiled, finding Isabela's free spirit refreshing and figured a quick chat couldn't hurt.

"So were you two at the Pearl earlier?"

Zevran nodded and Isabela answered.

"Yes but my men are there and I could no longer listen to the noises from their rooms. It's bad enough I must put up with their moaning on board the ship, but to hear it on land as well? No, I had to leave and Zevran was kind enough to rescue me."

Zevran smiled and bowed a bit.

"I live only to serve beautiful women such as yourselves of course."

I leaned back within the crowd and looked back at the table where Wynne and Alistair still both sat, looking bored as ever but speaking back and forth a bit.

Isabela tilted her head towards Zevran who in turn pouted at her. She followed up with a thumb jerk to her left and a certain look on her face and then I moved back into the circle, just missing their exchange.

"Well I must go and speak with someone for a moment. If you will pardon me." Zevran said with a sigh.

"I should get back to the others as well." I said.

"Surely you'll not leave me alone here at the bar, Warden? There are some shady characters here."

I laughed.

"And I am certain that you could take down each and every one of them, Isabela."

Isabela threw her head back and laughed. I could only note yet again how beautiful she was.

"How right you are, Warden. But that was my attempt to get you to stay."

I smiled, silently enjoying what Isabela might have implied with her words.

"All right then. I will keep you company until Zevran returns."

Isabela smiled and hopped onto her bar stool and I slid onto mine, unable to do the same in my dress.

"I must say, I don't think I've ever seen a Warden in such armor as you're wearing tonight. Exactly what would that protect?"

I laughed.

"This is my political armor. One that must be able to cut through all of the annoyance of the Landsmeet."

"Ah, I see. This must be about the Blight then, yes? That is why we are here in Denerim now, filling our stocks for the coming months when we will sail as far away from this Blight as we can. We will be heading to Kirkwall soon."

"I don't blame you. Sometimes I wish I could do that myself. Though Kirkwall would not be my first choice given all the problems they seem to be having over there."

"Another hand on deck is always welcome and especially that of a Warden...and I am only headed there to pick something up. I never stay too long in one place, it gets so dull."

I took a large gulp of ale.

"Yes, in another life that would be an ideal offer right now but as it stands... I have my duty."

"Loyalty... An admirable and scarce quality indeed."

Isabela smiled at me and I finished the ale in my mug, gulping it down to calm my nerves.

"I haven't seen a Warden drink that much before. Shall I order you another?"

I was relaxed thanks to the ale now and I nodded, knowing that I would likely regret it.

"I think I shall indulge. I am paying this time."

Within a minute we had two fresh mugs of ale in front of us again.

"So being a Warden must leave you with little time for entertainment on the side."

I took a healthy gulp from my new mug.

"Indeed it does. And thank you for the ale."

Isabela smiled.

"It's my pleasure, Warden. It is the least I could do for a fearsome slayer of Darkspawn. And thank you for mine."

The way Isabela spoke conveyed exactly how much pleasure there was and how much more there might be should things go as planned. She had such a way about her; a quiet but bold confidence that I could feel even though we were sitting quite far apart. She was exactly the type of woman I was always attracted to.

We sat silent for a few moments, just enjoying the ale.

"I like your boots, Isabela."

Isabela smiled and looked down as if she could not remember which pair she had on.

"Thank you."

I giggled, the ale relaxing me further.

"I almost feel foolish sitting here in this dress. I should be in a suit of armor with my sword, saving the day and all. As you said before."

Isabela smiled back at me.

"I can say for sure that you do not look at all foolish in that dress, Warden. In fact, you look quite... _delicious_."

We took some more sips of ale while I giggled to myself and thought about how I could respond and Isabela looked around a bit.

"So... your ship, what's her name? Have you always lived on your ship?"

"She is The Siren's Call and there is no other life for me than on the sea. I have never felt at home on dry land and don't think I ever will. The sea, she guides me and I gladly follow wherever she leads. Plus there's damn good money in being a pirate."

I smiled and Isabela noticed.

"Is something funny, Warden?"

"Call me Detra. And no, nothing is funny. The name of your ship is simply very fitting."

Isabela smirked.

"And how is it so fitting, _Detra_?"

"Well, really- who can resist the Siren's call? She entices you with her beauty, enthralls you with her eyes, and then lures you in with her body. She is the perfect weapon you cannot escape from, one that you cannot deny."

Isabela was quiet for a moment while she also gulped from her mug.

"You do have a way with words, Detra... But will you show me if you are as good with your hands?"

My eyes fell in surprise on Isabela and she smiled at me, moving closer and she slid her hand on my leg.

My body tingled with sudden visions of Isabela and I in various stages of undress and I felt very warm. My hand slid down to Isabela's and I squeezed it, returning her gaze and forgetting why I was in the tavern at all.

"Then why don't we head to your ship so that I can show you, Isabela."

I felt Isabela shiver and then she looked at me with such seductive eyes, smiling devilishly.

_Very much my kind of woman._

"Why of course, sweet thing. She's just down at the docks. Not far at all."

My smile mirrored Isabela's.

"I will follow you, then."

Isabela threw some coins on the bar and slid off her chair, hooking her arm through mine on the way down.

"Should we tell Zevran..."

I interrupted Isabela.

"No. He's more likely to follow us if we tell him anything."

Isabela threw her head back with such a jovial laugh, smiling wide.

The laugh of a woman who was about to get what she wanted.

"That's true. But I think he'd just walk into the room, invite or not."

I laughed.

"True. I guess you two really do know each other."

We made our way out onto the deck and past the throngs of loud men spilling ale as they shouted at one another. They turned their attention on us as we walked by but we simply pushed past them, wanting none of what they so crudely offered.

It was a little past midday now and there were some clouds in the sky as we made our way to the docks. I didn't feel guilty in the slightest for having left Alistair and Wynne behind at the tavern. In fact, I did not even remember that they were there as of a few minutes ago.

Isabela pointed further down the dock.

"There she is. Third one from the last."

I glanced at the ships but all I could see were sails and they melded together for me. I'm sure Isabela could pick out her own ship blindfolded but they all looked the same to me.

"I cannot see much of it from here."

"We will be there soon and then you can see all of her."

I giggled to myself.

_That's what I'm counting on._

Not too much more of a walk and Isabela disentangled herself from me and stood proudly in front of her ship.

"Welcome to the Siren's Call, Detra. Watch your step, sweet thing."

Isabela smiled and took my hand again as we walked up the ramp of her ship.

Isabela was right. It was a grand ship, one built to last throughout the years.

"This ship is amazing, Isabela. I cannot fault you for wanting to live on it."

"And now... Want to see my treasure?"

I turned to Isabela and she was leaning against some part of the upper deck, slowly undoing the strings of her bodice while staring at me, giving me that smile of hers.

_Indeed._

I made my way over to her, watching her fingers closely.

"Shall we head downstairs?"

Isabela smirked and took my hand. I let her lead as I had no idea where I was going.

Isabela pulled me inside her cabin as she pushed the door open and instantly had her lips on mine as she kicked the door shut behind us, pushing me against the wall.

"I have wanted to kiss you since I laid eyes on you, Detra...And you do not disappoint."

"You're not so bad yourself, darling."

Isabela pushed her tongue inside my mouth and then clothes began flying off and around the cabin in a whirlwind. We landed on the bed, Isabela on top of me and it was obvious that's where she loved to be. Isabela's firm and large breasts filled my hands while her nipples filled my mouth as she worked her way between my legs and suddenly I realized that my legs were shaking and my breath short.

_Surely not so soon!_

But indeed, Isabela was bringing me to peak right now and I gave in to her demanding fingers as she did not give me any other choice.

A moment or two was needed to recuperate.

"Where...did you learn to..._Gods_..."

I was so shocked and out of breath that I had to recover and Isabela was enjoying every moment of it.

"I don't believe I've ever left a Warden breathless. Now that's one more thing that I can check off my list."

I giggled, full of energy and now pushing Isabela down against her own bed, promising her the same.

We continued on for some time and even though my muscles ached and my body soon grew tired, I could not stop, Isabela's naked body calling me back for more, not to mention those eyes of hers. She was definitely the Siren of the sea.

Finally we lay on the bed, gasping and groaning and recuperating, our bodies still intertwined, lying on our backs.

"You certainly know your way around a woman, Detra. And I am thankful for that." Isabela breathed to me.

I smiled and kissed her hand.

"_You're welcome._"

I sat up quickly, memories flooding my head and grumbled under my breath. Slowly remembering why I'd been at the tavern and realizing that I should be getting back was making my head ache and I was more than aware that I did not want to get out of Isabela's bed.

"Are you leaving so soon?"

I sighed, annoyed.

"It's just that we have this meeting at the tavern. That is why we were there, waiting."

"I understand. Grey Warden business and all that bollocks. Saving the country from the Blight, playing the hero and all that."

I smirked at Isabela.

"But I want you to know that I would stay longer if I could."

Isabela smiled and sat up, pulling my mouth to hers.

"You bet your sweet arse you would."

I sighed again and slid to the edge of the bed, my responsibilities making me angry.

My dress had fallen from the back of the chair I'd hung it on and it lay on the floor, crumpled. I rushed over to it when I saw it, trying to smooth out some of the wrinkles.

"Sodding hell..."

"Did I rip it by mistake?"

I laughed.

"No, it's just... I tried to save it from this fate but it didn't work. I hope it doesn't look too bad with the wrinkles. _Ugh_."

"Aww. I'm sorry, Warden."

I looked to Isabela on the bed and she did not look sorry. What she did look like was lonely, sitting up on the bed and watching me carefully. She was also lying there uncovered as well and one look at her made me want to dive back into bed with her.

_No, I must return to the tavern._

_I must, I must, I must...tavern. _

_Now._

I continued dealing with the wrinkles and trying hard not to look at Isabela but it was not working all that well.

I saw Isabela move out of the corner of my eye and the dress fell from my hands back onto the chair as I felt her press into me from behind.

"Is there anything that I can do to help? I'm good with sticky situations."

Isabela's hands covered my hips and then slid around my front, pulling me back against her and all of her womanly parts.

I spun around and grabbed Isabela's face, kissing her and pushing her onto her bed again in a sitting position, dropping to my knees in front of her beautifully bronzed and naked body.

"There is something that you can do for me..." I said between kisses, breathing heavily.

"What's that, sweet thing?" Isabela whispered.

"You can open your legs...and let me taste you..."

Isabela groaned and threw her head back as I grasped her hips and buried my head between her legs, pulling her onto my tongue. Soon she was quivering and shaking, pushing forward into my mouth and then she collapsed onto the bed as she had many times already, pure satisfaction on her face.

My passion sated for now, this was a good opportunity to try and make it out of Isabela's cabin while I could still walk and I stood.

"Where do you think you're going?" Isabela breathed from her prone position on the bed.

I groaned, trying not to let my eyes focus on her.

"I have to get back, Isabela, I'm sorry. I really must go. Do you have somewhere that I can clean up?"

Isabela sat up, an outraged look on her face.

"No, I think not. Get your arse back in bed."

Isabela pulled me back down to her and then rolled us over, her landing on top once again.

"You'll go when I say you can go, Detra. And I am not done with you."

Isabela accentuated her words by pressing herself between my legs and pressing my wrists into her bed.

"Remember this when you are in a sea of Darkspawn...fighting for your very life..."

Isabela kissed me full force and I felt her fingers enter me and she moved them slowly at first and then faster as I began to move with her, such noises coming from within me.

My back arched and unadulterated vulgarity came forth from my mouth as Isabela brought me to the crest of yet another of her waves, not stopping until I was fully drained and I collapsed again, spent.

Several minutes went by before I could even think of speaking and we simply lay there, our arms around one another, enjoying the bond we'd woven through sheer pleasure.

The Landsmeet and Darkspawn entered my head again and I sighed, never more resentful of my duties.

"The tavern..."

Isabela rolled from on top of me onto the bed and ran her hands through her hair, staring up at the ceiling.

I felt awful for hastening my departure but I had no choice.

"I really must go now, Isabela. Do you have a washroom?"

Isabela did not say anything but she pointed to a door that was in the room. I picked up my dress and headed through it, not looking back.

I made use of the washbasin and then dressed quickly before I again changed my mind. I fixed my hair and finally I was ready to return to my duties which never seemed to end.

I stepped out of the washroom and was somewhat grateful to find Isabela fully dressed, zipping up her boots.

"Good luck, Isabela. I hope the sea is good to you."

Isabela kissed me one more time, softly.

"I hope that Ferelden appreciates your service but chances are they won't. Miserable sods. Maybe I will see you around."

"I'd like that very much. Take care of yourself, Isabela."

I offered Isabela one last smile and kiss and then made my way out of the ship and back onto the docks, trying hard to concentrate on what still needed to be done.

I hated leaving.

Isabela watched me return to the tavern until I was just a dot on the horizon and then she sighed, turning back to her cabin alone. She closed the door behind her and her eyes fell on the messy bed and she sighed again.

"Oh_ balls_."

* * *

I made my way back inside the tavern and found that Wynne and Alistair were not at the table where I'd left them.

_How long had I been gone? An hour or more?_

I looked around as they may now be sitting with nobles, talking of the Landsmeet. There were many bodies in the tavern now, even more then when I had left but still I could not find any familiar faces.

"Detra!"

I heard Alistair's voice and turned to see him coming from the entrance. Alistair moved towards me and grabbed hold of my arms as I watched him, unsure what the problem was but he was scaring me.

"Where have you been? We've been looking for you!"

Zevran approached behind Alistair and he was followed by one of Eamon's soldiers. I recognized him from the courtyard earlier today.

"What is going on here? What has happened?"

"There has been an accident, Detra." Zevran said in a calm voice to avoid distressing me.

I just wanted to hear it and they seemed to be dancing around the issue.

"What? Tell me!"

Alistair looked grim.

"Leliana...she..."

My blood ran cold and I understood now why Leliana had been missing.

"What happened?" I demanded.

Alistair took my hand.

"Detra...she's been stabbed and she's lost a lot of blood. She's at the estate now."

"I'll take you to her." Eamon's soldier said to me, waiting for me to follow.

I just stared at Alistair, terrified.

"We can handle it here. Just _go now._"

I ran after the soldier and concentrated on keeping up with him as it was the most my mind could handle at this point.

* * *

_A/N: Just a note for all my readers... You may wonder why I don't use the same vocabulary in my sex scenes as other stories do and here is my explanation for that. I feel that most words used to describe sexual acts were not even 'invented' yet at this time and so I use basic wording for what is happening and have the characters use their own made up words to describe things. This is a certain time period and I am trying to remain within it, boring vocabulary and all._ :)


	32. Chapter 32

Wynne opened the door to Leliana's room and as soon as I saw Leliana on the bed, I had to steady myself against the doorway. She lay still on the bed, tucked under the covers. She looked almost peaceful but I knew what injury lay just beneath and it made my stomach turn.

"She just needs rest, Detra. She will be all right." Wynne offered.

I took a breath before answering.

"Are you certain? How bad...How bad was she?"

Wynne put her hand on my shoulder as she saw I was rooted to the spot I was in.

"I promise you that she will be all right, Detra. Magic really can work wonders and we reached her in time. She will have a scar and the memories, but that's all."

I could do nothing but stare at Leliana's sleeping form on the bed as horrors of what could have happened ran through my mind, my fists clenched.

"I know just hearing your voice will help her, Detra. Go and sit with her."

Wynne gently prodded me forward towards a chair and I looked at her, my mind tumbling.

Wynne smiled down at me and touched my shoulder, understanding my silence. I turned back to Leliana and swallowed hard, having no idea what to say or do.

I heard the door close suddenly as Wynne gave me some privacy and then I finally took Leliana's hand as I pulled the chair closer to the bed.

"Hey..."

I stared at her for a few moments, brushing the hair from her face and trying not to let the tears escape again. I was no good to her crying.

"You're going to be fine, do you hear me? I bet it's not the first time you've been stabbed and it won't be the last. But you're tough and... Nothing can take you down."

Leliana did not stir and I remained where I was, stroking her hand that was within mine, holding it together for now.

My mind would not let me forget where I had just been and what I'd been doing. I had been off with yet another woman, even as Leliana had been apparently fighting for her life.

_What kind of person am I?_

Much time went by as I sat there with Leliana and still she did not wake. She did not so much as stir on the bed at all. Wynne's spell must have been keeping her immobile to avoid more damage to her wound.

All I could see in my mind was a mix of Isabela and Leliana and I could not get the thoughts to leave. Memories tumbled through my head and I could not tell one from the other.

I even saw Morrigan in the mix and I knew no good ever came of those thoughts.

It almost felt as if I might be disturbing Leliana with my own mental distress and that was no good at all.

Maybe the best thing I could do for Leliana now was to leave her alone.

I went to my own room soon after, changing from the dress into plain clothes. I washed up a bit as I could still feel Isabela all over me and it only made me feel guiltier.

I made my way back to Leliana's room soon after, feeling I should at least explain why I was not there. Even if she could not hear me, it made me feel better to know I'd said something.

Still no change in her condition.

I could not stay here any longer, just watching her lie there. It was making my heart ache.

I stood up, releasing her hand.

"I will be back later, Leliana. I promise. I must take care of something now."

I leaned down to kiss her forehead and still she did not rouse. I sighed and made my way out the door where Kahrl was now stationed.

"Is she all right, ma'am?" Kahrl asked, concern in his voice.

"Yes, she will be soon, Kahrl. Can you do me a favor? Can you send for me immediately when Leliana wakes up? I will be within the estate."

"Yes, ma'am. As soon as she wakes up."

I walked off into the hall, searching. My mind was clear about what needed to happen next.

* * *

Alistair came towards me with his arms open and pulled me into them, kissing the top of my head. I did not give in to his hug but asked him a question.

"Alistair, have you seen Zevran?"

"Yes, he just..."

"Here I am, Detra. I was just setting out to find you myself." Zevran said as he approached us from behind.

I pulled away from Alistair and set my eyes on Zevran in earnest, feeling as if I couldn't breathe for a moment.

"Zevran, I need to ask something of you."

Zevran waved his hand at me.

"There is no need, Detra. I have already found out what you will ask me."

I was a bit shocked but as Zevran spoke, I realized that he was part of the team and he would not allow this transgression to go unpunished either.

"Leliana was found at a lodge in the seedier part of town where she had tracked an assassin who calls himself Bane. It seems Leliana was familiar with the bartender and he is the one who involved authorities as soon as he found her. It was he who saved her life."

"An assassin? Why was she tracking an assassin?" I asked.

"It seems Leliana had more knowledge than she let on. I do not know how she got her information but she managed to uncover at least one of the two that are in Denerim."

"One of the _two_? You mean there is more than one?"

"Yes." Zevran replied.

"Who do they seek? Why are they in Denerim? Do they mean to harm Leliana or was this because she got in their way?"

Zevran shook his head.

"No, my dear Warden. They were assigned to _you_."

The realization that Leliana had tried to save me from assassination and almost lost her own life in the process dawned on me and I felt another stabbing pain.

"Zevran..."

I took hold of his hands and looked directly into his eyes, lowering my voice.

"Please...I need you to find this man. I need you to make sure that he suffers and that he dies, Zevran..."

Zevran understood the look in my eyes. He had seen it many times in revengeful lovers who had lost their beloved to an unpleasant fate and he nodded and squeezed my hands.

"Yes, Detra. I am working on that already. I have many well-paid ears to the ground and he will be found wherever he goes. It is only a matter of time."

I squeezed Zevran's hands again, tears welling in my eyes. I desperately tried to hold them back, letting anger replace them.

"Please...Be sure he is dead. I will release you from your oath and give anything else that you might want if you complete this last task for me...Show no mercy for him."

Zevran nodded again.

"It will be done, Detra. You have my word."

Zevran turned to leave and Alistair took his place in front of me.

"Are you all right?"

I shook my head.

"Not really, no. I need to...go outside or something. I need to... kill something. By the Gods I want to crush his _**face!**_"

I crushed my hands into tight fists and my teeth clenched together as I envisioned finding this Bane and crushing the life from him, slowly and painfully.

It was true, what I had learned in my younger years. Anger was the more acceptable emotion, no one ever questioned it. But sadness on any level showed weakness. I could not allow any feelings I had for any of my friends to become deterrents to the future.

It's just how it was and how it would need to stay.

Alistair put his arm around my shoulder and brought me with him towards the courtyard.

"I believe I know what will help you with that, Detra. Let's go destroy some dummies."

I followed Alistair, taking solace in the fact that I would soon be hitting things and that Bane would soon lie dead.

* * *

Sten was out in the courtyard practicing as always and I saw Mabs lounging in the sun that was lowering in the sky by the minute. He raised his head when he heard my voice approach, but then slowly his head sunk back into the grass, too comfortable to join me.

_At least one of us gets some peace._

Sten watched the two of us enter the courtyard and head to the weapons rack. I saw him approaching us out of the corner of my eye and silently hoped he was not coming to complain to me about something as usual.

"Warden. I am sorry about Leliana."

I turned to see that it was indeed Sten who had spoken and not some figment of my imagination. I was surprised he would bother but I was not ungrateful.

"Thank you, Sten."

"Will you now find and kill the assassin who attempted to take her life? Or has he already been slain?"

I balled my fists up again, angry it wasn't finished already.

"It's taking time to locate him."

Sten nodded.

"You will find him. Just as you located my Asala in a country at war, Warden. You have an uncanny way of getting things done."

Sten walked away to continue his practice and Alistair and I glanced at each other.

"I can honestly say I never thought I'd hear Sten speak that way about one of us. You have impressed him it seems." Alistair said.

I didn't feel very impressive.

I shrugged at Alistair and I walked towards the weapon racks.

"Do not forget that Sten has most likely never seen a human except on the other side of a battlefield, Alistair. He had no knowledge of our kind, at least the good kind of human, just as we had none of his. Qunari are thought to be savage beasts but I have not seen this in Sten, even after hearing of his handiwork in Lothering. He made a mistake and I do believe he learned from it. Fear can cause one to do foolish things."

Alistair looked at me.

"You really don't believe he's dangerous?"

I shrugged again, not wanting to get too in detail. I was still thirsting for violence after all.

"We work together and we learn together. That is how it must be. Sometimes it takes others to show you the way."

We found our weapons on the racks and it felt good to have my sword in my hand again.

"Warden! How nice it is to see you again!"

Bodahn Feddic was strolling across the courtyard, waving towards me with his boy Sandal following behind.

I must admit that he was the last dwarf I would imagine I'd see again.

"Bodahn, what are you doing here? I thought you were on your way to Amaranthine."

"Oh we were...But on the way, I couldn't help but think about the Blight and how you Wardens have the odds set so against you. How could I possibly leave and not try to help?"

I crossed my arms.

"Did Arl Eamon ask you to come to Denerim, Bodahn? Perhaps offer a bit in the way of payment as well?"

Bodahn clasped his hands together and smiled.

"Well, yes, I must admit that the Arl did indeed request my services. But I agreed so that I may do what I can to assist against the Blight. We must come together if we have any hope of defeating the Darkspawn!"

I nodded, smirking at the greed hidden in Bodahn's speech.

"Well, there is a third Warden here in Ferelden and soon he will be returning with some weapons. If you could assist him and see what you could possibly improve in the lot of them, I would appreciate it. Perhaps some enchanting as well."

"Absolutely, Warden. You will always receive my best service!"

Sandal's eyes lit up.

"Enchantment?"

Bodahn put his hand on Sandal's shoulder.

"Yes, my boy, enchantment! Warden, where do you store your supply of runes?"

I pointed out directions.

"We have a supply chest in the estate. Up these stairs, third door on the left. I don't think Riordan has returned yet so if you'd like, there's probably someone about who could get you both a bite to eat if you're hungry."

Bodahn smiled and bowed a bit in front of me.

"Thank you very much, Warden. I must say it will be great to be working alongside you again." Bodahn said.

The four of us parted ways and Alistair and I finally made our way over to the dummies that lined the back walls around the estate, weapons in hand.

I was tired of talking. I wanted to let my mind go and just destroy something.

The dummy before me suffered the fate I would have given the assassin many times over and Alistair's fared no better.

My arms were tired after a bit and I stopped to catch my breath, leaning against some hay bales. Anger continued flowing through me as all I saw in my head was Leliana on a dirty floor somewhere, stabbed and bleeding.

Suddenly a large number of elves and dwarves poured from the back door of the estate and I was about to question Alistair as to why. Then I remembered that I had been the one to get them here.

This was the army we had amassed in order to face the Darkspawn threat.

"It seems the armies have begun arriving in Denerim," Alistair said, now standing beside me. "It's finally the beginning of the end. Or the beginning of the beginning. But I guess that depends on how we fare."

Alistair chuckled a bit but I didn't respond in kind, my mind on more serious matters.

"It looks that way. I hope they've encountered no problems making their way here."

Elves and dwarfs alike made their way as we had to the dummies and were now beginning their own practice, looking ready and very able to fight. Nods between us were exchanged as I happened to recognize some of them from their respective cities. Some nods were simply out of respect.

This army we had recruited was all that was left to stand between the Darkspawn and our own annihilation. I could not ponder long on whether or not it was enough. I had to trust that it was.

"Alistair, I'm going to check on Leliana."

"All right, Detra. I will be out here if you need me."

* * *

Inside of the estate was brimming with activity and even more elves and dwarves were here, along with some soldiers I did not recognize. Perhaps Eamon had summoned them from Redcliffe.

Eamon himself was buried among a number of elven and human servants and soldiers and I walked to him.

"Eamon, do you need any assistance?"

It took a moment to gain his attention but finally Eamon acknowledged me.

"Ah, Detra. I have been meaning to speak with you."

Eamon finished handing out instructions to the elves and some soldiers and moved over to me.

"There is so much going on at the moment, it is hard to find time. Your armies are arriving as we speak and my servants are busy preparing accommodations for all of them."

"Will everyone fit into the estate?"

"Not into rooms, no. But we are setting up beds in the front hall and wherever else there is room. There are also a great many vacant inns throughout town that we are working on securing as well."

"Do you need any help?"

"No, I believe my servants are handling everything very well but thank you. How is Leliana by the way?"

I frowned slightly.

"She has still not woken up but Wynne assures me she will be fine. I trust her word."

Eamon cast a knowing glance and nodded.

"I am sure she will be. Anyone with you on their side will pull through."

I nodded, appreciating Eamon's concern but not wanting to think about the situation.

"Those soldiers... Are they from Redcliffe, Eamon?"

"Yes, I took what men could be spared from Redcliffe to assist us here in Denerim. We clearly need all the help we can get."

"Are Isolde and Connor doing well?"

Eamon spoke some instructions to a nearby woman and nodded.

"Yes, they are doing very well. Redcliffe has been safe aside from the occasional loose Darkspawn band. As we already know, the bulk of the horde will be in Denerim soon."

"It looks as if the tides are turning, Eamon. Our numbers grow against the Darkspawn as well."

"I must believe that, Detra or all is lost to us. Now I must excuse myself for there are some issues that need to be handled."

Eamon walked away from me and I made my way back up the stairs again and towards Leliana.

* * *

There was no change in her condition. She still lay sleeping and I did not stay by her side long. There seemed nothing I could do for Leliana now but give her time.

Kahrl had gone off duty but as I confirmed with the new soldier stationed at Leliana's door, he'd already been given explicit instructions to find me as soon as Leliana awoke. I smiled lightly, feeling safe knowing that Leliana had such wonderful people looking out for her.

_It was more than I had done for her._

Guilt seeped through my veins at lightning speed and I truly felt ashamed of myself. My actions as of late were inexcusable and somehow I would need to rectify things with Leliana.

Boundaries needed to be set, apologies doled out and distance kept.

There was no other way this could work.

I headed back to my room as there was nothing else I could do at this point. I figured I might as well indulge in a bath and get the last of Isabela from my body and my thoughts lingered on her a bit.

I sighed and shook my head.

I needed to forget about women as they served only as a distraction from my duties.

Duties that could not be forsworn at this point.

Or ever.

I distracted myself from my own thoughts and searched for Deric near my room, wondering how the servants were dealing with all of our new guests.

"My lady, is there anything that I can get for you?"

A blond elven woman appeared behind me out of nowhere as I walked into my room and I turned around.

"Oh, uh... Where is Deric?"

The elf bowed her head.

"Begging your pardon, my lady, but Deric has taken ill. With all of the guests to prepare for and service, he simply wore himself out. He will be bedridden for a day or two,"

I frowned, missing my familiar friend already.

"Oh no. I hope he is well soon."

The elven girl kept her head towards the floor.

"I hope that I will be a suitable replacement for him and that I am able to care for your needs, my lady."

I shrugged, hoping I could convince this elf that she needn't be so formal with me.

"Oh don't worry about that. What is your name?"

This elf looked just as surprised that I would ask such a question as the others had but she answered sooner.

"My name is Fiona, my lady."

I held my hand out to her and smiled.

"I'm Detra. It's a pleasure."

The elf bowed a bit and avoided my hand, looking shy.

"Is there anything I can get for you now, my lady?"

I sighed, always feeling badly about asking for things to be done.

I did not enjoy being a burden on anyone.

"I was actually hoping for a bath."

"Right away, my lady."

Fiona retreated through the door and down the hall to fetch some help and the bathwater while I walked over to my dresser, selecting clothing to wear after my bath.

There was a knock at the door and it was the elves to deliver the bathwater. They left as Fiona walked back through the door, carrying fresh towels and some soaps. I expected she would lay them near the tub and make her exit but she stayed in the room, turning down the covers on my bed, taking care not to disturb the clothes I'd set out.

I smiled at her and hoped she understood I needed nothing else.

"Thank you, Fiona."

"You are welcome, my lady."

Still Fiona was at the bed, performing her duty with perfection.

I shrugged. I guess she would leave after she was finished with what she felt was her charge.

I slipped out of my clothes and into the tub hastily, trying to avoid embarrassment for both of us.

Fiona finished with the bed momentarily and now I saw her moving towards me.

"Which soap would you like, my lady?"

I just looked at Fiona, confused.

"You don't have to do anything else, Fiona. I am fine for right now."

"The Arl sent me specifically to ensure all of your needs were met, my lady. I cannot exactly leave you now."

"Sure you can. I can most certainly bathe myself and if I could not...Well, that would be a separate matter." I giggled.

Fiona looked down at the floor, nervous.

"I do not want the Arl angry with me, my lady."

"Well I don't think the Arl would get angry over this but...You can stay if you want, but I don't need anything else, Fiona."

The woman looked a bit forlorn and I felt bad for her.

"Hey...There is nothing to be upset about."

"I am fine, my lady. Thank you,"

I could feel Fiona still behind me but I settled back down into the water. I would let her do as she pleased as she seemed upset about being in trouble for some reason. I needed to just try and relax and rid myself of this anger that clung to me.

My mind was calming with the quiet and the soothing water and then I felt hands on my shoulders, startling me alert.

Fiona's hands began to rub my tired muscles and I moved forward into the tub.

"Fiona, no... You don't..."

"Does this please you, my lady?"

"Well it feels good, but..."

"Then let me continue, my lady."

I gave up fighting the fact that Fiona took her duties very seriously and let her massage my shoulders. In truth, it felt splendid as my muscles had been given quite the workout today. That and all of the issues that needed dealing with had embedded themselves within me and I felt some of it melt away as my muscles began to unwind.

Her massage only bothered me because of the fact that Fiona was female. And it seemed that any woman that I allowed near me seemed to suffer an adverse fate if I let her too close.

I was tired of hurting. Both myself and others.

My body became more at ease as my thoughts evaporated and I found that Fiona was marvelous with her hands. I wondered if I might just steal her away from the Arl for these massages every now and then.

I felt a weight on my chest under the water and my thoughts shattered as I realized it was Fiona's hand snaking down into the water and I grabbed hold of her wrist.

"Whoa! Fiona... What are you doing?"

Fiona did not answer but slid her other hand under the water from the other side and I repeated the same.

"Am I not suitable to your needs, my lady? I was told that you... enjoy women."

I was shocked and shook my head, feeling very uncomfortable.

"Wait, wait. No..."

I could not even speak a full sentence, so thrown off by what was happening.

"I am sorry, my lady. You do not enjoy women?"

"I...Not like this."

Fiona began rubbing my shoulders again as I would not allow her hands any lower.

"I promise that I will be worth your time, but please do not send me away. The Arl will be angry with me."

I shook my head, now angry at the fact that she'd been sent here for this... 'duty'.

_Did the Arl truly think I would appreciate this gesture?_

_Or perhaps it was all a misunderstanding._

"I don't care who sent you, Fiona. There is no reason why you should be asked to do such a thing."

I grabbed one of the towels from beside me and stepped out of the tub, covering myself completely.

The elf looked up from the floor and into my eyes for once.

"Do you not find me attractive enough? I am sorry. I can try harder."

I shook my head, certain that was not the reason.

I touched her cheek fondly, frowning slightly.

_I loathe servitude_.

"Do not _ever_ let anyone tell you what you should do. You should not take orders from anyone. You are free to go, Fiona."

I tucked my towel around me tighter to prevent it loosening and as my arm dropped away at Fiona's waist, something sharp poked my arm. I looked down as Fiona turned away and noticed a shape under her blouse that was very familiar to me and suddenly my body was alert.

"Are you...Is that a dagg...?"

Before my sentence was complete, Fiona had me pinned against the wall and indeed had a dagger up against my throat. There was nothing submissive about her at all now.

Fiona moved in close to me, staring into my eyes, her eyebrow arched.

"Someone does not wish you to live past today, Warden. And I have been paid handsomely to fulfill that wish."

I could not speak or swallow as the blade dug tightly into my neck. All I could do was stare in shock at the second assassin that had been sent after me as she prepared to seal my fate.

Fiona stared back at me and I was just waiting to feel the dagger slide across my neck, ending my life, even as there was still so much left undone.

"Consider yourself fortunate that I am not another, Warden. And that you passed my test."

Fiona deftly removed the blade from my neck and pressed her lips into mine for a second, giving me a certain look afterward. She then took off through my door quickly, almost slamming it behind her as she left.

I fell to the stone floor on my knees, my hand to my neck and coughing. An excessive amount of adrenaline was coursing through my veins with no outlet and it almost paralyzed me.

I had no intention of trying to follow Fiona either. I could barely stand just yet and it seemed there was some blood on my neck as I looked at my fingers.

"Deric!"

Flashes of mine and Fiona's exchanges were going through my head and I remembered her speaking of how Deric had taken ill.

I knew that was not the truth now.

I jumped up and hurriedly tossed my clothes on that lay on the bed and ran out into the hallway, grabbing the nearest servant.

"Have you seen, Deric? He is missing!"

The elf looked at me in shock and it appeared he thought I was reprimanding him for something as he just apologized.

"No, no! I'm looking for Deric. A woman, an elven woman was in here... She must have..."

I trailed off, quickly losing my grip on my thoughts. Then I was rescued by a soldier who saw my outburst from down the hall.

"Ma'am? Is everything all right here?"

"No, there was an assassin and she..."

"_An assassin_? Where is she, ma'am? Did you see where she went?" the soldier asked frantically, glancing around our immediate area.

"Don't worry about her... she...She took one of the servants prisoner I think. He may be locked up somewhere in the estate... or killed. We need to search for Deric!"

"Immediately, ma'am!"

The soldier beside me whistled and was joined by another who was sent off with the information to begin a search and recruit help as needed.

"Are you all right, ma'am? You have a wound on your neck."

I nodded.

"Do not worry about me. We need to find Deric and make sure he's all right."

Minutes later one of my other elven helpers rushed over to me in the hallway.

"My lady, Deric has been found and he is well."

I let out a sigh of relief, grabbing hold of the elf's shoulders.

"Really? Oh thank the Gods! Can you take me to him?"

I followed the elf to the servants' quarters and we found Deric lying on the bed, one of Eamon's physicians standing over him.

"Deric! Are you all right?"

Deric gave me a feeble smile and he looked embarrassed for me to see him this way.

"Yes, my lady. I have just a small bump on my head."

Eamon's physician turned to me.

"Yes, a bit of ice and the swelling should go down. Other than that, just a few small bruises."

I offered the doctor a kind smile.

"Thank you."

After some last minute advice, the doctor left the room and I took Deric's hand, thankful no one else had been caught in the crossfire of these assassins that sought me. I already tired of standing at so many bedsides.

"I'm sorry, Deric. She was after me and she came through you."

Deric squeezed my hand.

"My lady, she did nothing more than bump me on the head and leave me tied up in a closet. That is hardly behavior worthy of an assassin but I am glad for it."

"Me too."

I stood beside Deric and did not know what else I could say other than apologizing again.

"Can I help with anything, Deric?"

Deric laughed softly as it seemed our roles had been reversed.

"No I am all right, my lady. Thank you for not forgetting about me."

"Of course I wouldn't. We are friends."

It felt a bit strange for those words to pass my lips so easily, but I felt they were true.

I stayed a few more minutes but left soon after, letting Deric get the rest he needed. I was just glad Fiona had not seriously hurt him.

I would have hunted her down this instant myself if she had.

_And why had she not taken my life if she'd come all this way? _

_What was this 'test' she'd spoken of and said that I'd passed?_

I had to wonder if it was some sort of minstrel's game, like in the stories Leliana had told me.

She used to tell me that she would intentionally mislead all those around or involved with her target, setting them at ease and to feel as if they were in no danger. When she finally struck and took a life, the real target had had no idea that she was even coming.

My eyes opened wide.

_Leliana._

My breath stopped.

_Perhaps I was not even the real target._

I moved quickly down the hallway and towards her room, sensing the worst.


	33. Chapter 33

After barreling into the guard at Leliana's door and forcing my way in, he understandably had some questions but at least he recognized me and allowed me to answer. He had no information about the assassin and I wasn't going to take the time to explain it to him. I simply told him I'd heard she'd woken up and he believed me, returning to his post and allowing me entry.

I closed the door behind me and saw that Leliana had not moved at all on the bed, still held in the grip of Wynne's healing sleep. Her body needed time to heal and I did not want her wake before she needed to be but that didn't mean I would mind her eyes opening for me.

At least she was safe. The guard had never moved from her door and no one had been seen.

I guess the assassin was only after me and that was a good thing.

I took my seat next to her bed and picked her hand up in mine once again.

"I won't let anyone touch you again. I promise you this."

Leliana stirred just a bit and I watched her, hopeful that she would wake up but I was also dreading having to explain or answer anything.

She didn't move further and after a bit of time, I laid my head down on the bed against her hand, wishing I could just hear her voice again.

There was knocking at the door a bit later and Alistair came in.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, Detra. How is she doing?"

I pouted.

"There's not much change. She's just been sleeping all this time."

"Wynne said that she would be, with all the blood loss. She just needs to gather her strength and then she'll be up and out in no time."

Alistair said nothing of the assassin so I assumed he had not heard. I guess it was small news in comparison to the troops arriving. I was certainly not going to bring it up either. I wanted it gone from my mind like so many other things.

We both watched Leliana for a moment and then Alistair told me why he'd come.

"Riordan has returned, Detra. He asked that we join him in his room."

"Oh? That's right. He did mention talking to us earlier."

"He did? When did you see him?"

"Earlier today when you were stuffing your face."

Alistair laughed and the sound made me smile slightly.

I stood and laid Leliana's hand across her chest, kissing her forehead and promising to be back soon.

"Let's go find out what Riordan wants. Perhaps he's found the Archdemon and slain it already."

Alistair laughed again, opening the door.

"I wish it were that easy."

* * *

"Come in, come in. Both of you." Riordan greeted us, closing the door behind our entrance.

We watched Riordan's hands wring together in front of him nervously and then he finally looked up at us.

"Please know, I assumed you had already been told of this otherwise I would have talked with you both when you freed me at Howe's estate. I am sorry it comes at so late a time."

Alistair stepped forward.

"What is it, Riordan? What are you apologizing for?"

Riordan sighed.

"Tell me, have either of you wondered why Grey Wardens are needed to defeat the Darkspawn?"

"It has to do with the taint in our blood. How we can sense them, right?" Alistair said while I thought the same.

"That is exactly what it involves. The Archdemon may be slain as any Darkspawn but should any other than a Grey Warden do it, it will not be enough."

"Enough? Enough for what? For it to die? Do you mean to say the Archdemon cannot be killed? Oh _Maker_..." Alistair groaned.

"What do you mean by 'not enough', Riordan? Is there something else we must do?" I asked.

Riordan paced around us, not looking pleased to be the one who must deliver whatever this news was.

"I am truly sorry this is the first you are hearing of this. I am assuming things progressed quicker in Ostagar than Duncan had planned as I am sure he would not forget to tell you these things. As I said, I would have told you straight away had I known."

"That doesn't matter now. What must we do to slay the Archdemon, Riordan?" I asked.

"It is not so simple. When the Archdemon is slain, the essence of the beast will pass through the taint to the nearest Darkspawn and will be reborn anew in that body, bringing all of its power over with it."

Alistair and I waited for more.

"If the Archdemon is slain by a Grey Warden...Its essence travels instead into the Grey Warden..."

My mind worked quickly.

"And since..."

I was shaken by the realization of what Riordan was telling us but I managed to complete my sentence.

"And Darkspawn are soulless creatures...but Grey Wardens are not. Am I correct in assuming that our soul would be that which would destroy the Archdemon?"

Alistair looked at me and then Riordan.

"What? You can't be serious! Are you saying that one of us has to _die_ to kill it?"

"Yes, Detra. You are correct. The Archdemon needs an empty vessel and any other presence will negate its energy and in turn destroy it."

"This is insane! We will just kill it far from any Darkspawn and it will have nowhere to go!"

Riordan sighed, knowing Alistair was having a hard time grasping the truth as he had himself so many years ago.

"It will eventually find a target, Alistair. The essence will not stop until it does. There is only one way this can end and unfortunately it will require one of our lives. I wish it were different, Alistair. But this is the price we Wardens must pay."

Alistair refused to listen to Riordan's reason.

"There must be another way!"

I was understanding what Riordan was telling us but I also wanted to side with Alistair and believe there was another way.

"Perhaps magic? Maybe Wynne can find something..."

"It has been tried before and no spell that I've ever known of has had any effect. I'm sorry."

"This is _madness_." Alistair said.

I touched his shoulder.

"It's all right, Alistair. There must be some other way."

"Yes! So let's find it!"

Riordan held his hands up.

"As far as we know, the transfer of the Archdemon's essence is automatic. If one of us is not present when the killing blow is made, then all of our effort and our struggle, it is all for naught. There is _no_ other way. For what it's worth, I am sorry."

Alistair was angry.

"Now I see why the Wardens are so secretive about everything. I already knew I only had thirty or so years left to live but this? This is just... It's just too much to ask of someone."

"That is precisely the reason we keep it a secret, Alistair. Who would dare become a Grey Warden if they knew what fate might befall them? And yet there must be Grey Wardens. There is no hope without us. The Darkspawn would spread and corrupt all of the lands and then we would all simply perish under the Blight."

Alistair and I simply stood there, trying to absorb all that Riordan was putting forth but it was difficult.

"So there are only three of us in all of Ferelden...And it's up to one of us to stop the Archdemon." I said quietly.

"In Blights past, when the time of battle came, the eldest of the Grey Wardens would decide which amongst them would take that final blow. So if possible, the final blow should be mine to make. I am the eldest here and the taint will not spare me much longer."

Alistair and I simply stared at Riordan as he signed his own death sentence.

"But if I fail, the deed will fall to one of you. The Blight must be stopped now or it will destroy all of Ferelden before the rest of the Grey Wardens can assemble. Do not forget this."

"I can't believe this." Alistair said, almost in a daze.

Riordan knew Alistair would only argue further and there was nothing else he could say to put his mind at ease.

"Enough. There is much to do tomorrow and little enough time to rest before it. I will let you both return to what you were doing before."

I was in a daze myself, unsure how to handle all of the news we'd just received but Riordan could help us no further. It was not his fault that we did not know about the Archdemon's uncanny sense of survival. It had not been his responsibility to tell us but he had and that was all he could offer.

This was just how it was.

Alistair still had some argument left in him but I took his arm.

"Alistair, come on. Let Riordan get some rest."

I half-dragged Alistair to the door and he quieted down, his face still angry.

"In war, victory." Riordan said behind us, arm across his chest, his voice strong.

There was a moment of silence and then Alistair continued, closing his eyes.

"In peace, vigilance."

The last part fell to me and I hung my head, feeling the words.

"In death, sacrifice."

The words hung in the air and the three of us were reminded of what it meant to be a Grey Warden and it humbled us.

"I will see both of you tomorrow."

I looked back at Riordan, leading Alistair out of the room.

"Yes you will, Brother. Rest well."

* * *

"How can they expect us to give up our life like this? Duncan should have told me!"

Alistair and I had gone into his room so that we could have privacy to speak further about the coming decisions and he would not settle down.

"Alistair, there is nothing we can do about it. Let's just see what happens when it comes time."

"No, I don't want to wait! I think that we should find Wynne right now and discuss this with her. There _must _be some spell that she can think of to help us."

"You know we cannot do that, Alistair. That would be breaking our Warden's Oath."

"Does that really matter now? What happens if all _three_ of us die and then there are no Wardens left at all? At least if we try to find an alternative, we have a chance!"

"Don't you think that if there were an alternative, the Wardens would have found it over the years? This is how it must happen it seems."

Alistair sighed angrily and slammed his hands into the table, leaning over into it. The sound jolted me and I just watched him, not knowing how to calm him down.

"Well I'm not losing you so it will be me."

I stared at Alistair in shock, replaying what he'd just said in my head.

"What? What exactly do you mean by that? Don't even _think_ about making that final blow, Alistair. You are going to rule Ferelden as the King and live a long and healthy life and that is the end of that discussion."

Alistair faced me with anger in his eyes I'd never seen before.

"Who are you to tell me what I can and can't do? If I'm going to be King, then my first order is for you to _stand down_!"

I shot forward and slapped Alistair's face, returning his anger with my own.

"Don't you _dare_ ask me to lose anyone else, Alistair... _Don't you dare_!"

I choked back sobs.

"I will make that final blow. It would be easier than living with..."

I could not even finish my sentence, tears pouring from my eyes, everything I'd been avoiding coming to the surface.

Alistair had tears in his eyes and we grabbed on to each other, both of us caught in this dismal situation that had already condemned one of us to death with no way out.

There was nothing either of us could do to change what was needed, but I would never let Alistair touch the Archdemon, this I promised myself. The responsibility lay with Riordan or myself and if we failed, then it would fall to the Orlesian Wardens from there.

Alistair would not die.

I sniffled into Alistair's shoulder and knew I had to leave. I could not listen to any more of him offering himself up for death.

"I'm going to go rest, Alistair. I think you should too."

Alistair didn't say anything. He just looked at me with his sad eyes.

I smiled as much as I could manage and touched his cheek.

"I'm sorry I slapped you."

He smiled back about the same.

"No you're not."

We shared a small giggle and then resigned ourselves to reality and I hugged him again before turning towards the door.

"See you in the morning."

"I love you." Alistair called after me.

"I love you, too." I answered, closing his door softly.

I did not want to go and see Leliana tonight. She might sense the negative energy surrounding me right now and I didn't want that for her. I also did not want to continue crying all night and I surely would have going back to see her. I had not heard that she'd woken yet so I decided to leave her be, at least until I got myself together.

* * *

I moved quietly down the hall back to my own room and could still faintly hear the commotion from the front hall as more troops arrived and room was made for them.

_If only that was enough to save us._

I made it to my room and slipped inside the door, quickly closing it behind me. It was very much a relief to not have any pairs of expectant eyes on me or anything to decide right now. I wiped the last bit of tears from my eyes.

I didn't think they'd ever stop.

I wondered if I shouldn't just go to bed after this day of horror. I moved towards the bed and it looked very inviting.

I suddenly sensed a presence very near and I took a defensive stance, spotting the shadow in front of the fireplace.

Morrigan turned from the fire that the elves had started earlier for me, noting with delight the surprise on my face.

"Do not be alarmed, Detra...'Tis only I."


	34. Chapter 34

Just the sight of Morrigan made my body twitch and I froze in place, unable to take my eyes off of her.

We did not say anything for a moment but stood and looked at one another. It was so strange to set eyes on Morrigan again after all of this time and everything that had happened. I felt as if I had traveled back in time and we were back at the Peak again but this time, conversation would not come so easy. I was truly speechless.

Morrigan began pacing in front of me and spoke, obviously more at ease than I.

"The final battle grows closer, does it not, Detra? I know the Darkspawn horde approaches Denerim and will most likely arrive by tomorrow."

So Morrigan was here for business then. I should have expected nothing less.

My mouth moved but no sound came out at first. I cleared my throat and responded in kind.

"We know of their movements but Darkspawn have not been spotted any closer than the Brecilian Forest. The troops are prepared and traps are set for incoming Darkspawn. I do not foresee them surviving this encounter. "

"Ah, but neither will a Grey Warden. One of your numbers must sacrifice their own life for the, what is it...The greater good, yes?"

My mouth hung open a bit.

_How is it that she knew of this secret we had only just learned of ourselves moments ago?_

Morrigan smiled as she watched me question her.

"Do not bother wondering where I learned of the truth, Warden.'Tis something that mother shared with me before I left in your company."

"What? How...How could Flemeth know this?"

Morrigan giggled a bit.

"Have you forgotten that my mother is an abomination? Mother must have been privy to all sorts of secrets with the power she commanded."

I could see the old Morrigan creeping up on me, getting ready to hit me with some bad news. I was sure that was why she was here.

"I...What does this have to do with the Wardens, Morrigan? Why are you even here?"

Morrigan walked from the fire and sauntered past me a bit, smiling. She looked to be enjoying my full attention.

"I have a solution for your problem."

"What problem?"

Morrigan faced me again.

"None of the Wardens need die to defeat the Archdemon. I have a plan that will save _all_ of your lives."

For a moment, the idea of all three Wardens making it through this Blight flashed through my head. I pondered whether or not such a thing would be possible and what magic was needed. Just the flicker of hope that both Riordan and Alistair could survive this Blight almost made me agree on the spot.

And then I remembered who I was speaking to.

I am sure that whatever plan Morrigan had, the cost would far outweigh the reward. As everything involving her did.

"This must be magic you refer to."

"'Of course 'tis magic. Why else would it be me bringing you such news? Very few know of the magic to perform such a feat, and even fewer possess the talent that is needed to carry it out."

"What magic is this, Morrigan?"

Morrigan looked right into my eyes.

"'Tis some of Flemeth's magic that she told me of before I left the Wilds and some from her Grimoire."

"So she told you of...Did she have this planned...the whole time? Is that why she sent you with us?"

Morrigan glanced towards the fire.

"'Tis true indeed. Flemeth assumed that by now she would have claimed my body for her own and it would be she that would help the Wardens...Though you have made that impossible for her. At least for awhile."

Morrigan looked visibly upset for a split second, perhaps remembering the fact that I was the one to kill her mother as she had asked. But then, as always, the emotion vanished without a trace.

"Why would Flemeth care to help the Wardens? She had magical power at her disposal that we could never dream of."

"Do you not think Flemeth feared the Blight as much as any other? She too could be killed by the same means as any creature, were someone or something lucky enough to breach her defenses."

"Yes. I know that to be true."

Morrigan looked up at me and I could see into her soul. See that even as Flemeth had been a monster, Morrigan had still regarded her as family.

And now she was all alone.

Morrigan looked back into the fire.

"If we are going to do this ritual, we need to get things underway. I do have some supplies, but I will need..."

I shook my head, solidifying my statement.

"There will be no ritual, Morrigan."

Morrigan scoffed.

"Have you taken leave of your senses, Warden? One of you must die to slay the Archdemon, there is no question. What I am offering will eliminate that sacrifice."

"The magic you will use, it is Flemeth's and therefore cannot be trusted. Gods only know what evil lies in that Grimoire of hers."

"Do you forget that her 'evil magic' is also what saved your life so many months ago? It seemed perfectly acceptable to you then so why the concern now?"

I tilted my head, regarding Morrigan in disbelief.

"This is the woman who wanted to steal your body for her own, the same woman you asked me to murder for you... This is _her_ magic and you are so willing to trust it? And you call _me_ a fool."

Morrigan faced me, glaring.

"You _are_ a fool if you refuse this ritual, Warden. Your life hangs in the balance as does Alistair's and that other one. Do you really think that Alistair will hesitate to strike that final blow if given the chance? Would you forfeit his life instead of partaking in a ritual that I will prove to work?"

I folded my arms, tired of this encounter, tired of the countless lies.

"I don't care, Morrigan. I don't want to hear anything else. I want you out of my life. Go back to the same place that you've been for the past week or so... Just be _gone._"

Morrigan looked genuinely shocked that I'd said those words to her. She was speechless, but only for a moment.

To be honest, my own words had shocked me as well. But they had also empowered me.

"Are you so blind that you cannot see past your own self righteousness? You are so willing to trade lives for your own beliefs!"

My voice rose in pitch to compete with Morrigan's.

"My beliefs are what got us this far in the first place! And it is _because_ I value their lives that I will never let you do this ritual. You have lost my trust and I do not want anything further from you but for you to leave me and my companions _alone_."

Morrigan was steaming. She was not taking this rejection well and I watched the anger build in her.

She exploded at me again, throwing her hands in the air.

"_**You imbecile!**__ I am trying to save your life!_"

I sighed, shaking my head.

"I am sorry for what happened to you, Morrigan. It is not your fault that Flemeth raised you as she did, but you are your own woman now. You have made the choices in your life since you left home that have led up to this point. You are responsible for what comes of them. You left me...You took what you wanted..."

I looked straight into Morrigan's eyes. The words still hurt for me to say.

"And for what you have done to me, I will tell you to go straight to the Fade."

Morrigan just stared at me, an angry look on her face growing darker by the second.

And then she charged at me, crying out in anger.

Morrigan barreled into me and we hit the wall together, knocking the lamp off the bed table with a crash. Morrigan slammed my wrists into the wall, pressing against me, her eyes flashing with anger.

"_You...You..._"

Electricity crackled on Morrigan's fingertips and I pushed back against her, trying to break free.

"Do you think you can still hurt me, witch? You cannot...Not anymore."

Our eyes locked, our breath in each others face and we simply stopped.

Morrigan pushed forward into me and pressed her lips into mine and I responded just as readily, wanting this to happen. My arms fell around her as she let go of my wrists and I pulled her closer to me. Morrigan had her hands all over me and she pulled my shirt open as my hands slipped her shirt from her shoulders.

I was suddenly alive in her arms and I could see nothing but her.

Things were happening so fast.

Morrigan trailed downward with her kisses and my body was unable to do anything but become her slave, my hands holding on to her shoulders to steady myself. Morrigan returned to my mouth but her hands sought shelter elsewhere and I gasped into her shoulder, feeling her inside me.

This is what I had dreamed of so many nights... so many. That she would come back to me... And that she would love me.

Everything became slow motion and all I could see and feel was Morrigan. I let her have her way with me, falling into her arms and hearing her softly groan her approval.

My head was spinning and my knees were weak as something inside of me tried to get my attention despite all of the pleasure- my common sense.

I forced myself away from Morrigan with just enough strength to make it, wiping my mouth and feeling like an idiot as usual around her.

"_No_...You will not do this to me again, Morrigan._" _

I clutched at my chest, in pain.

_"You can't just take what you want and then leave..._"

I stumbled further away from her, unable to finish while trying to withhold the tears.

Morrigan stared at me with a look I'd never seen before. She actually began to cry as I looked on, staggered and she covered her face.

I could not think of anything to say or do as I was simply shocked at her display of emotion.

Suddenly Morrigan shifted into her wolf form and leapt from the window in my room that I hadn't even noticed was open, leaving me standing alone. I rushed to the window only to find empty darkness and all I could do was stand there, crying into my hands.

_Why could I not say anything?_

_Now she's gone again._

Morrigan escaped through the estate garden and ran through the darkening night, never looking back.


	35. Chapter 35

I stood at my window, my reflection in the glass unsettling me after I had closed it. I moved away back into the center of the room, unsure of what to do with myself now that I was alone.

I could still feel her hands on me...Inside of me and tears still escaped my eyes.

I could not believe Morrigan actually felt as if she could just walk back into my life without explanation and simply take what she pleased again without consequence.

_Could she not see how much I felt for her?_

_Maybe she never cared for me to begin with._

_Morrigan was all about pleasure and I guess this was no different._

But seeing her cry bothered me very much still. If she had stayed, we may have spoken more and...

I shook my head.

Rubbing my eyes, a sigh of defeat escaped me.

_I only delude myself._

We would have made love again and the same cycle would start all over.

Morrigan has not changed. I don't think she ever could.

She would always do as she wished no matter what was at stake.

It was always about Morrigan and it always would be.

_I just wish..._

Another sigh.

_I cannot._

_It will never be what I want it to be._

I rubbed my forehead, wishing for an easy night not filled with evil and disturbing dreams. None of which even contained Darkspawn.

But I could think no more on this subject. The Landsmeet was set for tomorrow and I would need at least a few hours of sleep to make it through that, let alone the rest of the day.

I left my room and I made my way to Leliana's room. She was still asleep in her bed and I climbed under the covers with her. I didn't think Leliana would mind and I needed to feel close to her.

I lay beside her, listening to her breathing. I snuggled up against her side, taking hold of her hand, reveling in the fact that it was not Morrigan's.

I hoped she would wake up soon.

* * *

Morrigan turned the key in the lock of the room she had taken at the Breakers Inn in Denerim and slipped into her room, quiet as possible.

_Foolish woman._

_Why could she not just accept the ritual?_

Morrigan tossed the key onto the lone table in the room and sunk down into the chair, rubbing away the tears that would not stop coming from her eyes.

Morrigan stared at the bottle on the table and the cup that was alongside it.

She decided it was time.

_Perhaps this wine can drive the insanity from within my head._

Morrigan poured a healthy dose of the alcohol and brought the cup to her lips.

She sipped at first and then found herself gulping a bit.

_I do not want to feel this pain._

Morrigan hugged herself, wanting comfort.

_I would rather an ogre tear out my eyeballs or consume more of Mother's marsh cuisine._

Morrigan held the cup on her lap and her eyes were unfocused, simply staring towards the wall.

_Some things are worth fighting for._

_'Tis not just about power...I had it wrong the whole time._

Morrigan swore she could feel my lips on hers as her fingers brushed her own. She allowed the molten memories of our night together not so long ago to claim space in her mind and her body warmed.

Seeing me again had thrown her so off balance.

_Existence is meaningless without..._

_Love?_

Morrigan cringed as she recalled the tears when I had stared back at her just a short time ago and my telling her that she had hurt me and that I would not be with her. There had been a pain within her so harsh that her tears could not be stopped and instead of being watched, she had escaped through the window.

She could not stand that she had hurt me so deeply and the guilt was consuming her.

Morrigan's chest burned and she gritted her teeth, angry with the thoughts and feelings flooding her.

_My life has been one enormous lie._

Morrigan's sobs grew thicker.

The wine had done nothing to help her.

_I curse you, Mother._

_If you were not already dead, I would kill you again myself. A thousand times over._

_You caused me to leave with her..._

_To travel with her for so long..._

Morrigan hung her head.

_To love her._

Morrigan slammed her palms into the table.

_**Curse you**!_

Her head bowed, tears falling onto the table from her cheeks.

_I will never be free._

Her eyes soon settled on the bottle on the table and Morrigan stared at it for a bit, her eyes unfocused_, _deep in thought_._

_This is how it must be._

Morrigan wiped the tears from her cheeks and moved towards the bottle. Slowly she filled her glass again with glazed eyes, drinking deeply after staring into the cup for a moment.

Morrigan leaned back in her chair, cup clutched to her chest.

Suddenly Morrigan stood up and screamed as she sent the cup flying across the room. It smashed into the wall and she collapsed onto her knees, sobbing uncontrollably.

It was as if she were making up for all the tears she had never shed in her whole life.

_You cannot control that which does not belong to you._


	36. Chapter 36

Leliana woke with a gasp and felt a small pinch when she sat up a bit, staring around her.

_Where am I_?

Slowly she regained her memory of the past day and she put her hand to her stomach, reaching under her shirt and feeling the small, jagged edges of her new scar.

And then her eyes noticed me on the bed next to her, fast asleep.

_Detra._

Leliana lay back down and noticed how dark it was outside. She turned on her side to look at me and she wondered how long she'd been asleep. Her mind went to work patching the day's events together and I sighed and made a bit of a commotion as I turned to my other side.

Leliana frowned.

_I finally get her back into my bed and I can't even look at her._

Since it was nighttime and there was no reason to leave the bed, Leliana settled back down under the covers with me and forgot there was even reason for concern, she felt that good.

* * *

"So there have been no Darkspawn sightings near Denerim, then? Maybe they are going to attack Redcliffe?"

The other guard shook his head.

"Why would the Darkspawn break down a settlement small as Redcliffe? It would be instinct to tear down the capital of Ferelden."

"I suppose but why have we not seen them further than the forest?"

"I have no answer for that but that is what the scouts are reporting. We will just have to wait and see what the Darkspawn do. At least we will be ready for them this time."

The men settled back into their chairs and drained the ale in their mugs.

"I'll get us a refill." the blond one giggled, knowing they could get into much trouble if they were found drinking on the job.

The one left behind yawned, putting his feet up on the wall in front of him. He made himself comfortable and then suddenly felt a rumbling beneath him.

"What the bloody..."

The watchman stood from his chair and stared at the cloud of dust that had erupted not far from the gate. He righted the empty bottle of whiskey that had fallen over on the table and struggled to see beyond the dust.

The blond guard came rushing back just as the dirt began to settle a bit.

"Did you feel that? What is...?"

Both of the watchmen froze in horror as much movement could now be seen past the thick clouds of dust.

Groups of Darkspawn, large and small, crawled forth from the hole that now lay in the earth, just meters from the gates of Denerim.

The two men nearly soiled themselves as a gigantic ogre clambered up the fresh opening in the earth and roared as it saw Denerim ahead.

There were suddenly hundreds of Darkspawn pouring into sight and they were advancing on the gates of Denerim. The bellow from each one of them rose up into a cacophony of anger and hatred as their movement speed increased.

The two watchmen screamed at the top of their lungs and ran towards the guardhouse to warn them, barely making it down the ladder before the Darkspawn began their push against the city gates.

* * *

Leliana snuggled up against my back and smiled when she noticed that I still wore the lavender oil that she'd given me weeks ago. She pressed her lips to the back of my neck and then repeated the same two more times.

Leliana's heart felt very content as she lay there and her mind returned to earlier days, when we'd been closer and had more time together. She felt her heart quicken as memories of just the other night came back to her. She felt us kiss again in her mind, closing her eyes.

A moment later, Leliana discovered that her hands were now on me below the covers and her breath fluttered, wondering what she was doing. She did not stop however and Leliana remembered how good touching me felt, letting her hands broaden their exploration.

Leliana heard me groan a bit and wondered what I would do if I were awake. She felt a familiar pang below her waist and she smiled and pressed further against me. She was only human after all and she had needs too.

Needs that had barely been touched upon in the last week or two.

As Leliana pondered fulfilling her needs, I caused another ruckus by turning onto my back. Before Leliana could admire her view again, I sighed.

"_Leli..._"

Leliana stiffened for a moment, wondering if she'd heard what she did and running it back through her mind. When it was clear, any uncertainty she'd felt before melted away and she leaned up on me, breath quickening, her hand on my face and neck.

"_Detra..._"

Leliana grew purposely firm in her touch and a few seconds later, I roused from my slumber, my eyes falling upon her, confused and then shocked.

"Leliana? Are you..."

Leliana had had enough of talking and pressed her thumb to my lips with determined intensity, silencing me.

"Shhh." Leliana sounded with a tremble in her voice.

Leliana's lips fell upon mine after that and I struggled to wake myself up and respond to what was happening.

Leliana pulled her shirt off above her head and fell back down against me, now straddling me and pulling my shirt up and off. Leliana's lips covered my own and my neck and I could barely move.

"Detra...I've missed you so much..."

Leliana's need was distinct in her voice as she pressed herself against me. I could feel nothing else but her, accepting all that she was offering to me without fail or question.

It had been too long.

Leliana groaned as my hands covered her and she was now working on pushing my bottoms down, our lips still heavy on the others. I did not bother with Leliana's bottoms and soon slid my hand down her front and then between her legs, her arousal evident all over my fingers.

It had been unexpected apparently and Leliana gasped loudly, trembling at first then accepting my fingers as they entered her, softly and slowly.

My entire body hinged on Leliana's expressions. The way she stared into my eyes, showing me all of the pleasure I was giving to her as I moved in and out of her and I felt short of breath, given this intimacy. I kissed Leliana deeply, my other hand on her neck while her arms that held her above me began shaking more each minute.

Leliana's features became strained and I knew it was only seconds away and such a guttural sound escaped Leliana as she clamped onto my wrist with her own hand to feel what I was doing to her as it happened. She hovered a bit, sated, and then Leliana slowly slid down against me.

I turned on my side to watch her and Leliana's eyes fluttered open, her hand on my face, tenderly pushing the hair from my eyes.

"_I...I love you..._"

Leliana took a deep breath.

"It feels so good to be able to say that..."

My eyes never left Leliana but my mind took that same turn it always did and I hesitated, not responding.

"Detra?"

Leliana's touch and attention brought me back and I looked at her.

For once, truly looked at her.

And I smiled.

"_**Come quickly! The Darkspawn are attacking! The Darkspawn are here!**_"

Leliana and I looked at each other in total shock and nearly fell to the floor trying to get out of the bed.

All sorts of confusion and disorder erupted from beyond Leliana's door as we shouted back and forth to one another.

"Did you hear what I just heard? The Darkspawn, here, _now?_" I yelled, pulling my shirt on.

"Yes! They must have known to attack us at night when we'd be weakest!" Leliana yelled back while pulling her clothes on.

"But we haven't seen them even remotely close to Denerim! How did they get here so fast?"

Leliana shook her head.

"That doesn't really matter now, does it?"

Leliana pulled her shoes on and began dressing in her armor and I walked to her.

"Leliana, I don't think you should be..."

"Like hell, Detra! If you think I am letting you go out there alone, you are even crazier than you think I am."

In any other instance, I might have laughed but with the unknown ahead of us, I simply nodded.

"I must get to my room...My armor and weapons are there."

Leliana nodded, still attaching her armor.

"I will meet you there."

I moved towards the door and Leliana caught my arm.

"Wait...Detra."

Leliana pulled me into her arms and held me there for a moment or so. I relaxed in her arms and pulled her against me, wishing we needn't leave the room.

"Be careful, my love. And wait for me at your room." Leliana whispered into my ear.

I closed my eyes and breathed in Leliana.

"I will. You be careful as well."

With one last look and kiss, I moved towards the door again, leaving Leliana to finish and then meet me when her armor was complete.

I sprinted from the room and joined the array of soldiers that were moving through the hall, asking some what they knew of the situation.

Leliana frowned, angry.

_Darkspawn, the only other thing that could take her away from me, did just that._

Leliana grabbed her bow.

_Maker help them._


	37. Chapter 37

**_Sorry this update took so long!_**

**_Hope you enjoy it!_**

* * *

"Detra!"

Leliana ran down the hall, spotting me in my doorway and ready to leave with a group of soldiers. I stopped when I heard her voice and yelled back to her.

"Darkspawn have already breached the castle gates! They are tearing down buildings left and right... Our traps never worked!"

I was frantic by the time Leliana reached our group and she grabbed my arm.

"Where are the others? I don't see any of our party!" Leliana asked.

One of Eamon's soldiers responded to Leliana.

"We all got woken up from a dead sleep by this! Your group was preparing when I passed them. They should still be with Eamon in the main hallway."

I pulled Leliana with me as I pushed my way towards that hallway.

"Let's go! And we need to find Riordan! He will know exactly what to do!"

We melded into the throng of elves, dwarves and human soldiers as we made our way towards the front of the estate, already hearing the results of the battles outside coming in the forms of screams and what sounded like buildings crashing down quite near us.

Leliana kept a tight grip on my hand, not wanting to lose me in the crowd.

We pushed our way through and kept going until the hallway was in sight and suddenly we saw Alistair and Eamon shouting back and forth, surrounded by the rest of our party.

"There you are!" Alistair yelled, rushing to me and hugging me.

He looked like he suddenly remembered that Leliana had been asleep all of this time and then he touched her arm while still holding on to mine.

"Leliana... it's good to see you up. How are you feeling now?"

"I would feel much better if we could end this Blight right now but I'm okay, Alistair. Thank you."

Alistair nodded in response and then pulled us towards the others who also nodded in greeting and kindred confusion.

"Darkspawn have come up through holes near the gate of Denerim and have so far thwarted all of the traps that we had waiting for them throughout the city. We can only surmise that this was all part of their plan. So far everything has worked perfectly in their favor." Eamon yelled to our group.

I pushed forward.

"Eamon, we need to get out there! I need to find Riordan and see what his plan is! We should also keep as many Darkspawn back as possible...the city cannot afford their presence!"

Eamon turned towards me.

"We must make a plan ourselves before we rush out there, Detra. Now more than ever we must conserve..."

"Conserve what, Eamon? Every minute we stand here is another minute the Darkspawn are given free reign to destroy whatever is in their path! I must get outside and find Riordan but you all are free to do as you see fit."

I made my way around the group and Leliana grabbed my arm.

"Detra, don't you think you're being hasty? Eamon is right; we should come up with some sort of plan before simply charging out there!"

I shook my head, knowing what I must do within my heart. It was either fight while we could or we would be crushed planning a battle that may never take place.

"You do what you need to do, Leliana. I will be outside with Riordan as soon as I find him."

I nodded to my other companions and they all seemed to share my opinion.

'Detra is right. We should be out there doing what we can. We can plan as we go, otherwise there might not be a Denerim to save." Wynne said.

Eamon nodded in agreement now, faced with everyone's opinion.

"All right, but let us all try to stay together as best we can. We don't know what's waiting for us out there."

I pushed ahead of the group, wanting to get out there and start fighting back.

Leliana grabbed hold of my arm again.

"Detra, wait for me! Why are you trying to rush headfirst into danger so quickly?"

"Because I must, Leliana! This is what I am trained for; this is why I am here! I cannot stand here any longer...I must go out and fight while I can!"

My head was full of visions of myself killing the Archdemon and the Blight ending before too much damage was done. Going out in a blaze of glory was no small accomplishment in my opinion. There are worse fates to be suffered and I myself had witnessed some of them.

"Detra, just stop a moment! We agreed to stay together!" Leliana argued.

"That is fine, Leliana but you've got to keep up with me. I must get outside and look for Riordan."

"How do you even know he's outside? Maybe he was elsewhere when the fighting started or he hasn't even gotten out of his room."

I shook my head.

"No, I feel that he's outside already and that he has a plan or at least some ideas. More than we are doing standing around here!"

I pushed through the remaining bodies in front of the door and walked out into the courtyard. Already screams of pain and terror from the citizens who remained filled my ears and I saw many fires and the resulting smoke rising through the air beyond the estate grounds.

"Dear Maker..." Leliana said somberly as her eyes took in all that surrounded us.

"You see? This is what we need to stop. Let's go!"

Running through the courtyard, I drew my sword and readied my shield and dashed right into the fray. It seems not many Darkspawn had made it this far into Denerim but there were still quite a few about us, raging and cutting into victims left and right.

I charged up to the nearest group with death in my eyes and our swords met and ichor flew through the air as I sliced into Darkspawn after Darkspawn, cutting my way through the first group.

The rest of the team fanned out and began their own attacks and soon we thinned out the Darkspawn numbers in this area. We directed any citizens left alive to the safety of Eamon's estate for now but could not be sure how long we could hold the area.

"Detra! Alistair!"

I heard my name called and looked to find Riordan making his way towards us, both his sword and armor and even part of his face black with ichor.

"Thank the Maker I've found you! I never thought I'd make it back in time." Riordan gasped to us, out of breath when he reached us.

Our group moved quickly to surround Riordan and questions were abound.

"Are you all right, Riordan?" I asked, touching his shoulder.

"Yes I am fine, Detra. I was out scouting when the Darkspawn attacked and have been trying to make my way back here ever since."

"What is it you suggest we do, Riordan?" Eamon asked, eager for some proper advice.

"The Archdemon has finally shown itself and I have seen it with my own eyes. There is no longer any question of whether this is a true Blight or not."

Riordan stated what we already all knew to be true in our hearts and he continued.

"We need to lure the Archdemon out of the sky and within our reach... we cannot fight such an enemy in the sky. I was thinking Fort Drakon would suffice."

My mouth gaped a bit with Riordan's suggestion that we engage the dragon head-on. I had not thought too much on this subject, facing the dragon ourselves. Now that it was upon us, it seemed almost impossible.

"Truly? You think that the battle will go well if we get the Archdemon out of the sky? How exactly are we to draw the dragon in?"

Riordan wiped some ichor from his brow.

"We must injure it in some way...perhaps its wings. We cannot fight it while it remains in the sky, this I know. It will simply kill us all with its flame."

My mind went to work piecing together some sort of plan to bring the dragon down to us but I could think of no way other than to wave torches to attract its attention.

"I'm not sure how we will get it down to us, Riordan...torches perhaps?"

Riordan turned his attention towards the fort once again and gestured with his sword.

"Do not worry about how we will bring it down, just know that we will. Follow me!"

Riordan took off running, keeping up a brisk pace and we handled the Darkspawn as we came upon them, moving closer to Fort Drakon every minute. There were desperate citizens running throughout the city but we could not do much for them, consumed by our task. If we did not bring down the Archdemon, then all would lay dead in its wake and our efforts thus far would all be for naught.

"Look out!" Sten's voice boomed from the back of our group.

My eyes looked up in time to meet the shape of the Archdemon carved into the evening sky, a terrifying sight for any to behold. It drew ever closer to us and many of us dove out of its path just as it breathed a wide line of fire onto the pavement we had just been standing on.

The heat from the blast seared my skin and I had actually been far from it, indicating just how powerful this creature was. The sheer power of this dragon was beginning to shake me and I was not sure if I would be able to even fight it with everything it had at its disposal. Hopefully there would be success in numbers.

The dragon screeched on its way back up into the sky and looped around for another attack, flapping its massive wings. Riordan ordered everyone out of the courtyard and against what was left of a building to hide and the Archdemon had not a target in sight on its return trip. It shrieked again in anger as it swooped back up and then swung around to attack some hapless citizens that were within its sight to our right.

"Is everyone okay?" Alistair yelled to no one in particular.

Some answered him but most of our attention was focused on the enemy above us, lingering in the sky and causing massive destruction in mere seconds to whatever it chose as a target.

I was up on my feet again and helping others up as well, my eyes still on the sky.

"Riordan, we must stop it! It will burn the entire city!"

Riordan's eyes were also still on the Archdemon and he turned once again to Fort Drakon.

"We must get there as quickly..."

Riordan trailed off as his eyes returned to me then they went past me and widened.

I turned in time to see a multitude of Darkspawn clearing the corner we had just come from, headed straight for us.

"More Darkspawn!" I cried, even though I was sure all of our group could plainly see them.

As we readied for the Darkspawn charging us, the ground below our feet began quaking a bit and I thought it might be from the Darkspawn but then an angry roar erupted behind us. I turned and found it belonged to an ogre who was not one bit happy to see us in its way.

Wynne cast an Inferno spell and it landed right where it was supposed to- between all of the Darkspawn as they surged towards us. This allowed quite a few of us to concentrate on the larger threat behind us as the Darkspawn were consumed by the fire or trying to escape its path.

"Move!" I shouted to everyone as the ogre roared and lumbered towards us, grabbing at us with its meaty hands.

Mabs charged the ogre, barking ferociously and I screamed at him to stop but he either could not hear me or was simply too angry to stop. He circled around the ogre's legs and I saw him biting and clawing at them, trying to distract the ogre from us.

"Mabs, get away!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, fearing for my dog's life.

The ogre roared in pain and turned, swiping at Mabs who just barely dodged his grasp by rolling to the right.

Wynne's inferno spell was dying down and Darkspawn were finding their way to us again and building in number as we tried to deal with the ogre.

Alistair came to my side and yelled next to me, pointing to some barrels just beyond the Darkspawn.

"Detra... is that oil?"

I could make out the barrels Alistair was referring to and it was indeed one of the traps that had been laid for the Darkspawn. We needed more fire and we needed it now.

"Hit that oil barrel with an arrow, Leliana! Now!" I screamed back towards where I thought she might be.

_She was the only one who could do it_.

I finished off the three Darkspawn in front of me and turned in time to catch Wynne light up the arrow that Leliana had tucked into her bow. It flew like a bird to the barrel and as soon as it pierced it, the onslaught of Darkspawn that was near it went up in flames, their screams of agony reaching my ears in just seconds. The oil leaked from the rest of the barrels that lay there and the fire spread quickly, following the same path as the oil.

At least that was something. Now that path was cut off to them and they would have to filter in another way, allowing us time to dispatch this ogre who was not going anywhere.

The ogre's cry of annoyance pulled my attention back and we moved closer to it as its arms flailed out left and right, grabbing at what it could.

I could no longer see Mabs dodging the ogre and a wash of fear fell over my body as I watched Riordan and Alistair both stab at the ogre's legs, causing the towering giant to roar even louder.

"Mabs! Where are you, boy? **_Mabs_**!"

My dog did not respond and I still could not see him. The ogre lumbered forward and almost got his hands on Riordan but he rolled from his grasp, Alistair planting his sword in that hand instead. The ogre pulled back, roaring again in pain and then began to stomp towards our group, trying to get any kill that it could.

Leliana was firing arrows into the ogre but he was moving around too much to get a clear shot and only about three arrows had hit it so far, apparently not even making it flinch.

We were getting nowhere fast with this ogre and every minute that passed meant even more death in Denerim.

"Let's all attack at once; it's the only way we'll be able to take it down! **_Move_**!" I screamed, charging towards the ogre.

I was able to move in close enough and stab at its leg twice but then that leg came towards me and sent me skidding across the courtyard on my back.

I was dazed for a moment but felt no pain as I stood and moved towards the ogre again. The ogre was in the process of ripping a small tree from the ground and I slowed my pace, knowing what could be done with a weapon of that size.

_If it gets hold of that tree, we will all be dead._

I waved my hands to the rest of the party to back away but none of them acknowledged me if they even saw my gesturing, still surrounding the ogre in attack positions. Leliana's arrows dug into the ogre's neck but that did not deter it from ripping the tree loose then spinning on its heels to us, now brandishing the tree as its weapon.

Now everyone moved back as the ogre moved forward with the tree, creating a great gust of wind as it swung the tree. Everyone dove out of the way and kept moving backwards and I tried to think of a way to get the tree away from the ogre.

I suddenly noticed a form silently moving behind the ogre and I saw them touch the ogre's leg as it prepared to swing again. Where their hands had landed now lay a black mark that suddenly began spreading and then disappeared and the ogre roared again, dropping the tree and suddenly appearing to have smoke coming from all over its body.

The person who had started all of this moved away just as quickly and quietly as they had arrived and we watched with open mouths as the ogre roared loudly and then exploded into a volcano of blood and gore before us, pieces of it landing near and all over us. I could not see who it had been who had saved us but I was grateful for it.

I could hear everyone yelling words back and forth but I needed to find Mabs now that this battle was over.

I called for him, ignoring Alistair and Riordan's words as I neared them. I saw Wynne near the stairs of the building we had hidden near and she was kneeling on the ground, looking at something.

My heart sank as I ran towards her.

"_Mabs..._"

Wynne turned and looked up at me, sadness in her eyes and she shook her head slowly at me.

Mabs' body was broken and bleeding and I could see several bones protruding from his body.

He was not moving.

The ogre had gotten him after all.

I fell to my knees next to Wynne and stared at my hound, in disbelief of his condition.

"I'm sorry, Detra. There was nothing I could do." Wynne said, still beside me.

_My hound was dead._

_My friend..._

Rage and sorrow filled my head at the same time and the sorrow won, tears spilling onto my cheeks.

"You never did listen to me, did you boy..."

I leaned down against his broken form and grabbed handfuls of his fur between my fingers, a silent goodbye in my head.

The noise from the battle still waging brought me back to reality and I quickly stood, knowing we needed to move on.

Leliana was next to me and she looked at me in shock, appearing to be speechless.

"I'm so sorry, Detra..._Maker..._ I cannot believe..."

I stopped her in mid stutter, pulling my hand from hers.

"We need to move on. There is nothing left to do here."

I could only give my lifelong friend one more brief look as we still needed to make our way to the Fort and the Archdemon and we all moved in that direction.

"Where is Riordan?" Eamon shouted over the din.

My mind was elsewhere but I did hear his question and my eyes sought out Riordan as well, though not finding him.

I suddenly glanced at Alistair and we both had the same look on our face, somehow both of us knowing that Riordan had snuck ahead of us to sacrifice himself in order to take down the dragon.

"We must press on! Riordan needs us to back him up! Move, now!" I yelled through the chaos, waving everyone ahead.


	38. Chapter 38

**At last! An update! Hopefully I'll be able to publish more often now- we'll see how it goes! **

**Enjoy! :D  
**

* * *

The Darkspawn were not this far into the city and so we had plenty of time to race to Fort Drakon where I knew Riordan was headed.

The troops that had arrived to aid us were all around us, some directing city folk, some aiding the wounded and others still fighting the Darkspawn back.

_Perhaps this might be easier than I'd feared._

"What do we do even if we take the Archdemon out of the sky? How are we going to fight that thing?" Alistair questioned, grabbing my shoulder and attention.

I could not answer as I watched a distant elf cut into a Darkspawn with her dagger, taking it down and then moving to a second one near her.

_The Darkspawn would never stop._

_They would never give us a moment's peace as long as we were alive. They existed solely on their hate for human and other kind and were fueled by the never-ending rage within them._

_How could we ever fight that?_

_This conflict would never end, no matter how many battles we could win._

_It would go on forever._

"Detra!"

Alistair shook me out of my thoughts and I looked at him.

"Are you all right?"

I was not but I could not let Alistair know this.

"I am fine. Let's continue to Fort Drakon."

Just as we set out again, another roar shook the area and we saw the Archdemon once again circling over head.

I did not want a repeat of its last attack so I ordered everyone into cover until I could think of something.

Zevran was next to me behind the stone wall and I heard him speak.

"I just want you to know that the matter we spoke of earlier has been handled."

My mind was too flooded to understand what he meant and I could only look at him, dumbfounded.

Zevran knew he had to explain.

"The assassin?"

I looked at Zevran, piecing together in my head that he meant the assassin who had bested Leliana.

I nodded to him, unable to think and speak at the same time at this moment.

"I just wanted you to know before we all die a horrible, screaming death."

Listening to the Archdemon screech above us, it was hard to argue with Zevran's assumption.

I peered from behind the wall and saw the Archdemon circling what I believed to be Fort Drakon, seemingly very agitated with someone or something on the roof.

I knew at once who it must be.

"Riordan! He is up there!"

I stood from behind the wall and ran forward a bit, stopping to watch once again.

The Archdemon roared and dove dangerously close to the roof of the fort and actually took some of the roof with it. The Archdemon continued to roar but this time it was different; this was pain.

I could just barely make out movement on the Archdemon's back and all suddenly fell into place.

_Riordan was on the back of the Archdemon._

"Holy...Riordan is on the Archdemon! We have to... we have to do something!"

Everyone's eyes turned skyward and we watched and listened to the Archdemon screech in pain and continually smash into buildings left and right, trying to shake the Warden from its back.

"What can we do?" Eamon shouted above the din.

"We can't do anything from down here! We must move to the roof and quickly!"

I ran ahead of the group but kept my eyes somewhat on the sky, watching the fight continue.

"Wait- look!" Leliana yelled from beside me.

The Archdemon swooped against yet another building and crumbled the roof of that as well and we saw the figure move onto its wing. The two headed towards Fort Drakon again and a terrible shriek rang through our ears as the Archdemon dove and twisted through the sky. It seemed to be having trouble staying in the sky and we saw the figure slide from the wing and plummet down to the street below, watching in horror.

I could only cover my mouth and turn away as the figure, Riordan, landed.

_Another Warden down._

We could see now that the Archdemon's wing had been sliced in half and it could not maintain itself in the sky. We watched it struggle briefly but then it sailed down towards the roof below- Fort Drakon. It crashed into the edge of it and we watched it scramble to remain on the roof but it could not and half of the roof toppled to the ground below with it.

We all could only stare as we felt the gigantic rumble of the Archdemon slamming into the earth not far from us.

Any hope of it already being dead or incapacitated was short-lived as we heard it roar and endeavor to right itself on its feet as debris still fell upon it from what was left of the rooftop.

A plan formed in my head and I turned to my group.

"This is our chance! We must get at it while it is no longer aloft!"

We saw a fiery object come down and hit the Archdemon as it writhed and it roared again.

"There are still people on the roof, there must be a ballista!" Zevran noted, moving in close.

My eyes scanned our surroundings and I noted that many of the roofs about us had fires going on them when I heard the strange language again in my head, followed by a chill up my spine.

_The Archdemon was calling to the Darkspawn, to aid it._

Alistair and I both turned to one another and we knew we did not have long to fell the beast as the army it called for would soon be upon us.


	39. Chapter 39

"I think three of these roofs are manned with soldiers and ballistas... Alistair, I need you to go up and give us..."

Alistair moved right next to me.

"Oh no you don't, Detra! I am not going anywhere! The Archdemon is right here and I'm going to end that..."

I grabbed Alistair's arm, knowing full well that he would argue with me.

"We will need your support, Alistair! You are the only one who can do this!"

Alistair shook his head, his mind made up.

"But I'm not going..."

"If I fail, Alistair, then it will fall to you. But right now, I need you on that roof, launching all the ammunition you can get into that Archdemon. Will you help us?"

Alistair just stared at me, both of our possible endings going through his mind and he wanted neither.

I pulled him closer to me.

"Don't let Riordan's death be for nothing. We can win this, but I need you up there."

Alistair put his arms around me and pulled me to him briefly and then moved back. He knew if he stayed any longer, he would not be able to go.

We had said everything we'd needed to say anyhow. He had been a Grey Warden longer than I and he knew better than anyone that this is just how it was.

"Good luck, Detra. I will put as many holes into that demon as I possibly can."

Eamon stood beside me when I turned back to face the group and he startled me.

"Will Alistair be safe on the roof?"

"I think that is the safest place for anyone right now seeing as how the Archdemon is no longer in flight."

Eamon nodded.

"Thank you for taking care of my nephew, Detra. I will not forget that."

"He is my friend, Eamon and I will always take care of him. And I need you to go with him too. This is no place for you right now."

"I will go and see about these ballistas. You can count on us."

I mustered what smile I could at him and then turned away towards Zevran and the rest of the group as Eamon headed towards Alistair.

"Sten, Zevran, I need you to go with Alistair and Eamon. Please...do not let any harm come to them..."

I turned to Zevran.

"Don't let him do anything foolish, Zev..."

Zevran flashed his trademark smirk and gestured to me.

"Do not worry, Detra. I will keep the King in line and make sure he does not try to save the world. I know that is _your_ job. Good luck to you, my friend."

Zevran shook my hand lightly as he passed by and I nodded to him, unable to put anything into words.

Sten said nothing but he nodded to me as he followed Zevran, Eamon and Alistair amid the troops that were moving in to aid us. I watched the three of them disappear from sight and hoped I was not sending them to their deaths.

Now my full attention could be on the Archdemon and the three of us that remained moved forward.

"Are you both ready?"

Leliana had her arrow nocked already and Wynne's staff glowed as they both nodded towards me.

"Let us go then!"

We joined the mages, soldiers, elves and even civilians with cobbled weapons that rushed past us and we joined the fight before the Archdemon.

The Archdemon had righted itself minutes earlier and was slashing against our forces with its talons, tail and mouth. We had not seen any fire since it had fallen and hopefully we would not. Maybe it was unable to breathe fire any longer with its injuries.

I prayed that Alistair and the others made it to the roof in time to help us with the ballistas and we were not simply skewered by the Archdemon within minutes of nearing it.

Leliana let arrow after arrow fly into the Archdemon's flesh while Wynne built up another fire spell to loose but I needed to get close. None of my weapons were ranged and I could do nothing from afar.

Without warning, the air was all at once alive with electricity and the Archdemon was engulfed within it, screaming in pain.

I looked to Wynne to thank her for this but she was looking on as I was, just as confused. This was no spell of hers.

I traced some of the bolts and I again saw that figure of the one who had aided us with the troll earlier not far from our troops.

My eyes were not mistaken...it _was_ Morrigan.

My breath stopped and I could only stare in disbelief that she had not run far from here, let alone joined the fight.

Leliana bumped into me, pushed by one of the mages rushing past.

"Is that...that's Morrigan!" Leliana shouted near my ear, pointing towards her.

As if she could hear us, Morrigan turned a bit towards us and I felt her looking at me.

I could not move.

_I guess she had decided to help this time. Or she had simply gotten caught up in it and had no other choice._

Whatever the reason, her help was most welcome indeed. We needed everyone who was able to fight.

Then I heard whispers in my head and my eyes widened as I spun around to see dozens, if not more, Darkspawn headed towards us.

"Darkspawn!" many around us shouted at once.

Now_ these_ creatures I could reach with my weapon and I charged forward with a roar, my mind only on slaughter.

The group of us headed towards the oncoming horde was cut off as a wall of flame erupted between us and the Darkspawn, lighting a great many of them afire and blocking their advance.

Once again, this was not Wynne's doing as she was still casting when I looked upon her. We had many mages with us from the Circle and it could have been one of them.

_Or perhaps..._

Darkspawn routed for now, I turned back to find Morrigan but she was no longer where she had been. My eyes could not find her and my heart leapt into my throat when I thought something might have happened.

"Detra we need to go, now! The Archdemon is vulnerable!" Leliana shouted, grabbing at my arm and pulling me after her.

The Archdemon was roaring in more pain now and I could see more and more fiery missiles flying through the air, digging into its flesh and finding purchase. I hoped that Alistair had commandeered one of those ballistas and was safe. I hoped that they all were.

We continued moving towards our target and were followed by some Darkspawn who had made it through the fire. I could hear the desperate pleas of the Archdemon to its minions in my head again and I knew it would not be long.

"Watch out!"

The warning came too late as a plated talon came at me and all those around me and I found myself flung through the air. I landed with a thud against a nearby building and I saw flashing colors for a moment.

I got on my feet as soon as I could and headed back into the fray, coming up against some Darkspawn who had reached us and cutting them down. Leliana found me not long after, thanking the Maker that I was safe.

The Archdemon was now on its side, unable to stay on its feet and I knew it was time to close in.

Another tempest spell went through the Archdemon and its cries of pain were not so loud this time.

_I must end this quickly._

I turned to Leliana as she pulled another arrow from her back and she turned to me, sensing my eyes on her.

I dropped my weapons and ran to her, grabbing hold of her face and pressing my lips into hers. I looked into her eyes after we parted and I smiled.

I knew I would never see her again.

"I love you."

Leliana's eyes widened with recognition and she was trying to stop me as I gathered my shield and sword again and dashed away from her, towards my fate.

Everything I had come to know was about to end.


	40. Chapter 40

_**Holding my last breath**_

_**Safe inside myself**_

_**Are all my thoughts of you**_

_**Sweet rapture and light**_

_**It ends here tonight**_

* * *

"Detra! No!"

Leliana screamed after me but I disappeared into the multitude of bodies that surrounded the two of us and towards the thrashing dragon.

Leliana began running towards where she thought I had gone as Wynne called to her and stopped her.

"Wynne, help me! Detra has gone off to..."

Wynne interrupted her, calmly planting her staff against the ground, leaning into it.

"She has gone to do what she must, Leliana. This is her destiny. This is what I have told you about from the very start."

Leliana frowned, fed up with Wynne's grand destiny speeches. Wynne did not understand what was at stake here, that Leliana was tired of losing everything that meant anything to her.

Leliana was angry now and she let Wynne know it.

"I do not accept that! Detra does not need to die! They are many of us here who can help her dispatch the demon! Look around!"

Wynne shook her head somberly, touching Leliana's hand gently.

"No, child. Only Detra can fell this demon. A Grey Warden is needed to do what must be done."

Leliana's eyes narrowed, sensing something more behind Wynne's words.

"What do you mean?"

Wynne looked up from the ground and into Leliana's eyes.

"One life for a great many others. It has always been this way and Detra knew it would come to pass. This is her destiny, Leliana."

Leliana unsheathed her daggers and raced in the direction of the Archdemon, praying she would not be too late.

* * *

I moved with great purpose towards the dragon, my mission clear.

_I would truly be able to save Thedas should I still this dragon._

I let the thoughts of everyone surviving consume me rather than what I would lose. This is what I had been headed towards all along and I could not falter now.

_It was time._

More Darkspawn had appeared and were making things difficult for all those around me but I could not help them, not now. If I did not make it to the dragon, all would truly be lost then.

A noise escaped me when I felt a searing pain in my shoulder as a flaming arrow pierced the flesh of my back and exited the front, the white-hot tip sizzling in my ear. I stumbled and nearly fell, but would not be hindered at this point. I broke the tip off of the arrow and pulled the arrow out from the back as carefully and quickly as I could, wincing a bit.

I continued on my path and once again, the dragon was enveloped in another fog of electricity, stilling its thrashing quite a bit. My shoulder throbbed but I ignored it and pressed on, more determined than ever.

I was rather close to the Archdemon now and my eyes took in the lone figure standing near it.

I knew it was Morrigan once again. It had been her spells we had seen all along and she finished with the tempest spell just as I drew closer to her.

_At least I would be able to say goodbye to her._

A sudden pain in my chest hobbled me a bit and I had to stop, had to just look at Morrigan.

She must have known I was there or I made some noise because she turned to me again but this time I could see her face.

The pain in my chest dissipated as we simply looked at each other over the short distance.

"Morrigan..."

I began but was not sure what else I could say as her eyes quieted me. It did not matter, for Morrigan grabbed hold of a sword that had been on the ground beside her and ran from me towards the almost-still Archdemon.

_What is she doing?_

_I hope she does not think she can kill it!_

_She knows how this must end!_

"Morrigan! I must do it! It must be a Grey Warden or it will..."

Morrigan did not acknowledge me at all but I saw the sword flash in her hand as she approached the thrashing dragon.

_She knew only a Grey Warden could fell the Archdemon. She had been the one to tell **me**!_

My mind was ablaze and I ran even faster towards Morrigan.

"_**No! Morrigan!"**_

Morrigan was not responding to me but was now scaling the dragon's leg, moving towards its head.

I kept screaming her name, moving towards her but it felt as if I was stuck in a thick liquid, watching Morrigan move faster while I moved slower.

I froze as Morrigan reached her target and I heard such a scream come from her mouth as she raised the sword above her head and sunk it deep into the Archdemon's head.

The sword radiated the most brilliant light I had ever seen and Morrigan struggled to hold on to the weapon as the Archdemon's body began shaking and writhing.

In those next few seconds after Morrigan struck the blow, everything became perfectly clear to me.

The light grew and grew and suddenly it felt as if all of Denerim was engulfed in it. And then came an explosive force so powerful that I was thrown back down to the ground quite a distance.

My ears pounded as I wrestled to pull myself off the ground, the pain in my shoulder giving me problems. Many others around me were also recovering and my eyes searched.

I spotted Morrigan just a few feet away from me and she was lying still. I sucked air deeply into my lungs and dragged myself to my feet, running towards her.

My armored knee ground against the granite as I clumsily slid to Morrigan's side and I pulled her up off of the ground.

I found her wearing a content smile on her face that I had never seen before as she looked up at me and even though we had never spoken before, I silently thanked the Maker that she was still alive.

My features strained and my voice cracked with emotion as I finally spoke.

"You're the one who stole it from the Denerim vault..."

Morrigan's feeble smile did not fade and she offered me her hand.

I took hold of it and tears streamed down my face as I pulled her up into my arms, hoping she was comfortable.

"You drank the blood, didn't you?"

Morrigan took what looked like a painful breath and I choked up.

"_Detra...You were right...all along_..."

Morrigan's eyes fluttered and her touch faltered and I gently shook her.

"Stay with me, Morrigan!"

I pleaded for her life, not knowing why as the tainted soul invading her body would kill her in mere minutes, if not sooner.

Morrigan looked back into my eyes and her smile widened and she looked so calm.

"_You were the best thing to ever happen to me, Detra."_

I rocked back and forth, trying to soothe her and myself, tears pouring from my eyes.

"_I love you_..."

My heart strained against my chest and I could not stop the oncoming, desperate sobs that escaped me.

"I love you..."

Morrigan slowly and weakly lifted her hand and touched my face, that calm still within her. I held her hand where it was.

"_Live well, my love...live gloriously. And kiss me goodbye."_

My body wracked with grief, I bent down to grant Morrigan's last wish and I pressed my lips into hers as I held her in my arms, trembling.

Her lips fell away from mine a moment later and she collapsed in my arms, eaten alive by the destructive force that had channeled itself within her and she lost the battle for her own soul.

_Morrigan was dead._

My sobs continued as I hugged Morrigan closer to me, kissing her forehead and closing the eyes that had gone black from the tainted infection within her.

_And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten._

_And that one day, I shall join you._

The Grey Warden words of farewell brought me no solace as I held onto Morrigan for dear life, my whole body convulsing.

I could take no more.

I turned to the sky and I screamed at the top of my lungs until my world went black.


End file.
